You know whats werid?

often times when i utter the phrase ” you know whats werid? ” to some one… they somehow are caught off guard with some off the wall this that acompanies that phrase. with that said. there be your warning.

but… i find it weird that there are people on this planet that CAN NOT take a shit unless they are reading something. Today my cousin JD came thru ( see bumble bee story ) and i guess it was that time, and he had to shit. because he got up and said… yo… you got something i can read?
Ive been knowin this nigga for a long ass time… and he has been the same since we were young. but every fuckin time… is like the first time when i see that fool take a old source magazine, a flyer… old news papers, books he dont care shit about… fuck… anything with the printed word on it… ive never seen it my self… but im PRETTY DAMN sure he has taken a bible or three to the throwne with them once or thrice lol. but he isnt the only person i know that does that… i know a good hand full of people ( and im pretty sure at LEAST one person will comment and expose thier shitting rituals as well ) that have to read SOMETHING in order to take a shit. if they dont… it just aint crackin. ive heard of people reading ingreidents on hairspray even… anythign they can find.
Some people would view this as a handicap of some sort. but me? im super lazy… i almost wish had to have something to read in order to take a shit! Id be taking shits when i good and gotdamn well pleased… instead of when my bowels dictate i do. I would be the muthafuckin boss! true enough… my insides would be fucked to hell… but its all principal. id never have to worry about shitting on my self!
lol i dont know… i just find that whole situation to be strange to me lol
(blowed thought advisory)
…. but i wonder… do people who have to read something to take a shit have accidnets when thier stomach starts to grumble and they realize they have to take shit… but like… that shit would happen when they are watchin a movie with subtitles? lol
would it just come out? lol kinda sounds like potential diaster to me. but i dont know… im stuck as fuck at the moment. lol

speaking of taking shits… and stuck as fuck.

the worst place a muthafucka ever wanna be in his/her/shim/whateverthefuck ( lol ) life is:
high or drunk or both
upset stomach
taking a shit
and then… right at the moment… you realize… there isnt a SHEET of toilet paper NO WHERE in the bathroom! OR your room… OR with in a good 20 feet of you! and you have absolutly NOTHING to wipe your ass with AT ALL.
then after that… not realizing that a potential option might be to get in to the shower and just clean your self that way lol. but waddle around your damn apartment ( or other dewelings ) IN THE DARK… looking for toilet paper!
its not a place that i would wish on anybody that i was almost kinda cool with.
well… on second thought… fuck it. lol it would be funny to laugh at they ass lol
and THEN… lets not forget the part where you have to leave the bathroom and look for the toilet paper right. but you have to come back and sit on the toilet and wipe your self… but before you make it to the toilet… you are greeted with that most unfriendly ( or ungodly lol depending on your eating habits ) aroma that you really wasnt effected by when you intially took the shit.

terrible horrible place indeed. you dont ever wanna vist. lol or be visting me when im there lol
lol but after a muhfuckas read this… this shit here should no longer be a problem i might have to worry about for a cool min.