Uhmah Park

For anybody who happens to read this site ( for whatever reason ) and doesnt know all that much about me. I am 6 foot 6 inches tall. ( 230 lbs )

And with reading that, im pretty sure 99% of peoples minds are at the point of saying something like ” oh, he must be talking about basketball… ” if they wasnt thinking that already. But thats not what im talking about exactly. Although… most people i meet for the first time under any circumstance say “i KNOW you playing basketball for somebody” sigh…. “you ball? you play basketball n shit?…. oh yea? for who? ” sigh…

well to answer them questions… i actually just got finish playing basketball…… at LA Fitness. No, i do not play for any one, nore do i have a solid desire to. Ive played in adult leagues and what not. but thats some whole other shit. Anyway…

What im REALLY talking about is the fact that it is fucking expensive being tall. I may have wrote about this before but i dout it. I dont think most people under 6 foot 3 inches realize how expensive it is being tall. Let me break it down for you.

Clothing. I wear a size 13 shoe. Its hard to find shoes in a size 13. For might height, one could argue that i have small feet. Well at least i do. But luckly, my feet stop growing at 13 inches, because its even HARDER to find a fucking 14. and then shoes just really start looking fuckin awkward after that. None the less tho, coming across a 13 is a crap shoot alot of times. Its hard to shop, see something you like, and then be like HEY! you got this in a 13? No… we’re all out sir… but, i have a 12. sigh… muthafucka if i wanted a 12 i would have said… Hey! you got this in a muthafuckin 12 bitch!! Sorry… im easly irritated these days. Apparently even in made up situations that kinda happen in the past lol. But really tho… i cant stand when store clerks come at me with that shit.
When searching out pants… im kind of a big dude, although to some people it dont really look like it. i wear a size 40 thats just whats comfortable for me, im kinda claustrophobic out this bitch. Inseam tho? 34. i can sometimes get away with a 32 if im lucky. But ummm, do you know how fucking hard it is to find a 40 – 34? try that shit sometimes… i dare you. I dont all the way mean to insult anybody with my next sentence, but remember, im angry these days lol. But please dont come at me with… Well OJ, why dont you shop big and tall. BECAUSE THEIR SHIT SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU wear that shit. That shit sucks. I REFUSE to look like some generic clothes wearing asshole. You can sport that union bay ( or whatever the fuck ) bullshit if you want to homie. Im fuckin cool. So yea, finding pants aint easy at all.
Shirts on the other hand… that all depends… i wear a XXL, which aint hard to find. But sometimes, i find a shirt that i like and all the XXL’s are gone. but there are mad Larges and Mediums. This used to boggle my fucking mind. I used to think to myself… Self… is there that many big ass people walking around this muthafucka. Cant be! Then one day it hit me. Sometimes the XXL’s be gone, because wearing your clothes big is the style… and it be you little bastards buying up all the XXL’s on top of the bigger muthafuckas who find that shit before they run out… so sometimes, shits short. Which is some fuckin bullshit, but whatever. For whatever reason, i cant even get mad at that. Even with my fucked up attitude and all.
But when it comes to finding dress shirts? Fucking SHIT. That shit is damn near fucking impossible. Muhfuckas just DO NOT make my size. Ive searched high and fucking low, its hard as fuck for me to find dress shirts. And recently… i was like fuck it. I had an extra 50 bucks, kinda, and i was in my come up spot store ( which i will NOT be reveling the name of ) and i came across a shirt where it look like the arms were actually gonna be long enough to fit me. The muthafucka was just expensive as fuck. It was 50 bucks… normally, 119. ( i said its the come up spot lol — and no, its not fuckin marshalls or ross ) I get the muthafucka home… im about to go to the club in fact that same night. I put that bitch on and low and behold… the arms are long enough. but the lengh on the actual shirt… that shit was coming up hella short. Sigh… its fucking hopeless. And believe me, i can outshop alot of girls i know. And im sure that every girl who reads this will contest that. But i bet you give me and you a G stack, ill come out with more shit than you, and i can shop all day long and not get tired. But im not a tottal female about the shit… i REFUSE to try shit on at the store lol. Call me hard headed or whatever… but i can not stand doing that shit.
But being tall, and it being so hard to fucking find clothes, its like what the fuck is a nigga to do? Im way too vien to just wear any ol bullshit. So over time, i had to learn how to shop ( kickin it with my mom when i was little helped alot too tho lol ) for me, and with me being so determine to get my way alot of times, i wouldnt stop till i found something i liked lol. Thats really what it is… But on to the next thing

Room And Board. Do you realize, that with me being tall, and slightly claustrophobic, i cant really stay in a small apt or house. I need room to move around… plus i pace… ALOT. so i need room to stretch the fuck out. Ive never been able to stay in a small place. it had to be a good size. Plus… i have to have room for my gotdamn bed. Oh yea, dont get it twisted, there will be no fullsize bed business for me, my fucking knees damn near hang offa them shits… queens dont really crack either. ESPECIALLY sleeping with somebody. Gotdamn that shit sucks. When i sleep, i need my own gotdamn space, because ive been known to run into a muthafucka in my sleep lol. So, i have a Cali-King bed. its big as the fuck, and i love it. Finally i have space to move and sleep different ways n shit… i be all over my gotdamn bed. and its great when you sleep with some one… you damn near dont even know they there till you wake up in the morning. Or if youre like me… you realize they there when you roll into they ass in the middle of the night lol. But once again… Cali Kings are damn near the most expensive beds one can purchase. And i have no other choice if i want to get a good nights rest. Sigh…

Transportation. Sigh… this is gonna be hard for me. Because recently. My Car passed away. Thats right. Its dead. I had a 1990 Infinity Q45. That shit was great. It rode like a benz, nice and heavy… big. Decent speed. And my shit was loud as the fuck ( read: i had a premium sound system, with a very large and expensive sub woofer that was shaking shit ) But no more… because my car is gone. Sigh… i want to cry almost. Mainly because this shit is driving me insane. There are like 3 or 4 things that have to be right in my life for me to stay sane. I wont name them all, but one of them is my car. As long as i have a nice car, im cool. Even if i have something that aint all the way great, but its cool. Then im cool. But if i dont have a car… everything fucks up… my whole world goes to shit. Which explains the way ive been feeling lately. And i know it. And im trying to do something about it, but its starting to get to me. Sigh.
So yea… a nigga like me is in the market for a new muthafuckin car. And with gas prices being high as fuck. One might think that a small economy car is in my future. NO! why not? Because i cant fit in any of them shits. Sure, i could buy a lil CRX or some shit, and i can fit in that…………. KINDA, depending on which way you look at it. But that shit is low to the fucking ground, TOO gotdamn low. And i got in a head on collision with a fucking mini van in one of those when i lived in AZ, i wasnt driving, and i didnt have my seat belt on like an asshole, and my fucking head went thru the sun roof. Lucky for me the fuckin sun roof was open lol. But gotdamn that mini van looked like, and might as well have been a mack truck, thats how big that shit looked when we was about to hit that shit. it was terrible lol
Plus, i cant fuck with a little car… im closterphobia issues lol. So the only thing i can get is something big. And im a little bit too flash of a guy to just get some regular full size sedan ( read: big ass car ), and i just had a damn infinity, so steping down from that is gonna be kinda hard lol. But really… the only choice i have for something i can fit in is something big and kind of pricey. Which sucks. A truck is out the fucking question because them shits drink gas like its going out of style soon. shit is fuckin dumb. Plus i drive way too gotdamn fast to be rolling a truck anyway. Although i love the Caddalc Escalade EXT’s ( homer fucking drool son! ) but fuck that… i saw the sticker on that bitch, it said 13 miles to the gallon street. And i do alot of street driving, im so so so cool.
Anyway, im looking at getting a 300C ( with a hemi, fuck them other punk ass versions ) or a GS400, an older one, im not too big on the newer ones. Actually, now that i think about it, i hope i can fit in them shits lol. I suspect i can, my mom has a 300C, although ive never driven it, i sat in the drivers seat, and i dont remember having any issues.

The lexus is the cheaper of the two… but im holding out on a come up. So if i can get a 300C for the come up price. ill be winning. Sigh, but no matter what i do ( unless i can get my ultimate Hustle and Fanagle on! ) for the first time in my life, ill have a fucking car note. which is only MORE fucking money i have to shell out. Gotdamn.

And you know what? On top of it being expensive being tall. It aint EASY being tall either. Anybody that has been over my house, and seen me walk under my ceiling fan, knows what tha scene is like, It looks just like OJ is about to get DOMEDED by the fucking ceiling fan. And you know what? I have been… more than 5 times. if i stand on my tippy toes or jump just a lil bit……. ive been fucked up more than 3 times on various occastions, sometimes i was doing the same shit that got me fucked up the last time. And yes… the shit hurts.
I always hit my knees on SOMETHING trying to sit down. This world was built for small muthafuckas. im convined. As much shit as ive fucked myself up on man… sigh.
And then… here goes the fucking killer. I have been places where there will be some little ass white lady, who you can fucking TELL she has used the word “Nigger” in leasure refering to Black people, you and fucking TELL this lady dont like niggas, and has probably discriminated on several through out her life time. But gotdammit… ive been minding my own business… and wouldnt you know it, there have been more than several times, where lilttle old white ladies have STEPPED OVER the lines of hate, and racism and prejuduice… to tap me on my muthafuckin…… BACK because they cant reach my shoulders and politley ask me to get something they cant reach some where. Muhfuckas dont know me some SHIT. Im just tall, and they are in a bind. Now aint THAT some shit. But its cool… i always smile, and get them whatever. Although, i have no problem with NOT being the bigger person in whatever situation lol. I mainly get the shit because i cant prove that they are really as racist as i think they are lol. But if i could, id have no problem in telling some old bitch to fuck off. LOL

But out of all this bitching ive done, there ARE some advantages to being Tall. Such as… being tall had gotten me plenty of ass. lol. The fact that a nigga is far from unattractive probably helps some too lol. But still…. ive heard so many times “ssss oh girl, he taaaaaalllllllllllll” lol i know what that means, most times it means, somebody wants some pipe lol.

Ive gotten drinks at the club because one of my homeboys would tell the bartender that was a basketball player. One time that nigga Drew was like… “Ay, my nigga TMAC right here wants a Black Russian” and that nigga hooked me up lol. I know i know, i dont look SHIT like TMAC lol. However… that nigga Drew has also pulled.. the ol… Me and Chris Webbers brother right here, need a few drinks for C. Webb, he right over there. lol lol

I can tell alot some people wont start shit with me because of my size. But on the flip side of that, some people will lol, just because they feel like they got something to prove. But i refuse to beat up on a lil muhfucka. That just aint me. But if im pushed… then i will. And not feel bad about that shit later.

Bottom Line though, being tall has its ups and downs… but its definitly expensive like a muhfucka. Take a look around… How many broke ass tall niggas have you ever seen?? And if they are broke… its probably because they cant ever get they head above water, because its fucking expensive being tall.


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