If you have the fortune of having a Vons in your area. I STRONGLY suggest hitting up Vons.com.
Why? You ask? Ill tell you why my friend. Because they muthafuckin deliver gotdammit! As in, to your door. As in, you can order your food online, and they will deliver the shit! to your door!
Call me what you want… bougie, LATE ( because i think errin was up on this shit when she lived out here ) than a muthafucka… which or whatever… call me easily satisfied and impressed to right along with that if you will. I dont care less. I just found the thing that is about to cure half of the woes in my LIFE!!!
How is that? Because i am the laziest nigga there ever was… but some how im a workaholic at the same time. I swear… ask anybody in my list of links. But lets forget the fact that sounds impossible on paper. And lets try to focus on what that could possibly mean in real life.
It means that work gets in the way of grocery shopping lol. which means the cubbards are bare way more than they should be. which means i dont eat like i should. But i really tend not to notice because im focused on work. Whatever. But now that i can sit here, work and shop at the same damn time!! and then have the food delivered RIGHT to might door.
That means… even if i wasnt fuckin workin, i dont have to get my black ass up, deal with the elements, DRIVE to the muthafuckin store, walk my black ass through the store, isle by damn isle, figure out what i want… dodge kids, old people, other muthafuckas… yap yap yap yap. THEN! Lets not forget about me not having to stand the fuck in line! I HATE STANDING IN LINE! I dont think im too good to stand in line… like some people. lol I just dont fuckin LIKE to stand in line at all. I would not be oppssed to having my own personal check out clerk. ready just for me. turning other muthafuckas in line down. like no… im his check out clerk. Have the bag boy making room n shit. That i could go for. But since that shit aint happening. ill take my black ass to vons.com order my food whenever… pick a delivery time for the next day ( or the day after if they busy. but if you time your shit correctly and dont wait till you out of everything you should be straight lol ). Blam. Your food shows up when the fuck you think it should.
I HIGHLY recommend this to people who live in apartment buildings that dont have elevators… shit fuck it, if you dont have a garage, dont even fuckin go to the store. i promise you. its WELL worth it. Unless you absolutley love going to the grocery store like that. Psh, this is the fucking LICK.
Sounds great OJ, how much does it cost?? Well… im glad you asked. 15 muthafuckin dollars. Can you believe that shit? AND you automatically get all the club card discount deals! you dont even have to remember your mamma or your auntie or your homie number who you know gotta vons card you ghetto muthafuckas you! I know there are TONS of niggas who do that shit, because IIIIII Fucking doing that shit!!! LMAO!!! Fuck applying for a card, i aint trying to hold up the line like that, or let my fucking ice cream melt in my basket while im filling that shit out. I already dont wanna be in that bitch in the first damn place! LOL wooo. anyway…
Oh, and if you spend $150, delivery is only like 5 bucks.Â It goes down.
Gas is high, 15 dollars aint shit! They bring the shit right to your door. I honestly kinda feel like people who dont use this service are damn near dumb lol. Unless you love going to the market. Me personally, i hate it, i got shit to do. Ill go if i need something in particular. but on the regular, all the time, once every one or two weeks homie? fuck that.
Call me what you want to. This is one of the top 10 things the internet has to fucking offer. This is just as good as being able to make money off the internet and not having to leave the house for days at a time during the winter when its cold as fuck. This is good as being over paid.
You know what? I have a confession. I used to conserve food. because i wanted it to last. because i didnt wanna go to the fucking store sooner than i felt i had to. I used to try to eat all my food so it would all kinda run out at the same time. Im kinda decent at it to tell the truth.Â Aint that a muthafuckin shame??? I know. It is. I suck. I can admit it. Fuck… Imma get fuckin fat now. Well… maybe not, maybe ill just gain my fucking weight back. lol Which would crack.
Honestly you know what? I started practicing conserving my food so it would all run out at the same time when i lived in phoenix. lol. A nigga was in school, and i was fuckin broke. But im not really THAT broke these days… so i have no other reason to do that shit, other than the fact that im trying to avoid the super market if i can. Pitiful, yes. Oh well. That was then. Vons.com is now. OJ is the fucking “Pampered Black Man” according to Yong ( fuck him ) . Ill be that, if that means i can order my shit online more than often. and be at the store as less as possible lol.Â Fuck it lol. Shits great.
Oh, let me warn you though. Ordering food online is a TAD muthafuckin tricky, you WILL fuck up if youre blowed and hungry and everything look good, and youre not paying attention to the quantity of shit and shit lol. shit, youll fuck up sober… i did lol. iÂ fucking ordered ONE bannana. I mean, the picture of them shits was pack of bannanas n shit, lol. So on the amount, i put 1, because i wanted ONE pack like the picture said! Honestly, it probably did say that it was only one. but whatever. I didnt make that mistake twice. fuck the dumb lol. i orderd 10 this time! lol Yes, at the current date, i am on my second go round with vons.com. Sometimes they are out of stock. sometimes they can sub it. sometimes they cant. Still worth it. its just like if you were there. True… the person shopping for you dont care as much as you do. but still worth it at the end of the day. You CAN send special instructions to the TEE if youre anal like that. And im sure a few people reading this are thinking to themselves… nigga your list must be vicious. Fuck off. its not. i dont even write shit lol. i just order. I dont even bitch when they fuck up im so happy with this shit.
Fuck this imma go eat.