Tis’ The Season, Of The Parking Lot Stalker

I always feeeel like… somebodies waaaaaatchin mmmeeeeee

i think the nigga that sung that song was a victim of a parking lot stalker. he was probably at some mall, this time of the year. the busiest shopping time of the year. he was probably done shopping, walking back to his vehicle. and all of a sudden he felt somebody lurking in the cut, watching him from behind, waiting paitently… probably heard a motor running, if it was dark… he probably saw a pair of head lights that never ended up passing him. yet… he could hear a car behind him. he was probably just looking for his car, because most people forget EXACTLY where they park at the mall… but usually they have an idea of a general area where they MAY have parked lol. so chances are he was preoccupied by finding his fuckin car… but in the back of his mind… he knows something aint right. and then it happens… a car slowly approches his side and a voice says to him “Hey, are you leaving?”
he was probably thinking to himself… what in the fuck?!
answers to this ABOSOLUTE stranger “umm yea, i guess?”
and the parking lot stalker probably then asked him ( like they all do ) “cool, can i have your spot?”
lol
i know somebody is reading this, like hey… i never looked puzzeled or mind when people follow me to my car… or ask if im leaving.
thats probably because you are a parking lot stalker your gotdamn self!

i dont know… maybe its just me… but i dont fuckin like to be followed by muthafuckas i dont know. i dont give a fuck if the parking lot is crowded as fuck and some lazy son of a bitch is looking for a close parking spot. i dont wanna be fuckin followed. i hate that shit…

i like to fuck with people sometimes tho lol. ill walk 5 rows over from where my car is, and zig zag my way all the way to my car. lol muthafuckas… its funny. but still… i feel like im trying to lose a tail n shit.

once i even had a muthafucka trying to follow me to my shit… and i parked far as fuck… because there was no parking, and i HATE looking for parking. im lazy, but ill fuckin walk. i dont care all that much… unless its raining or hella cold or some shit. actually… im too lazy and impatient to look for parking. walking hella far from my car is the lesser of the two evils really. but anyway… i had this muthafucka lurking in my shawdows n shit, then i guess they got impatient… pulled up a little closer to me and asked me… “say… are you leaving?”
“…. yea.” i reply, on some who and why the fuck?
“where did you park?”
i pointed some where off in the yonder n shit… “way back there some where?” and then, these muthafuckas, rolled up they window… got an attitude and pulled off. what kinda shit is that?! i didnt even know what i was suppose to do after that… should i have been offended, should i have fliped them the bird or yelled out “well fuck you too then!”…. what? i was at a lost… foreal lol. bastards lol. oh well fuck them lol

and then, worse than them… is when you have a parking lot stalker riding shot gun, and they try to turn you into a parking lot stalker…
HEY! they look like they goin to they car! follow them!
Muthafucka NO! lol i aint following no gotdamn body… me and you… be bout to be two walkin muthafuckas. and thats fuckin it. if i happen to come the fuck up on a parking spot… cool. if not… walkin aint never killed nare-muhfucka.
ive been in the car with muthafucaks who will get MAD at you for not askin tho… pissed off… WHY WONT YOU ASK!!! I DONT WANNA WALK! i cant believe muthafuckas some times… but hey whatever…
ive been imbarrassed a couple of times… ill be rollin past a muthafucka that look like they walkin to they shit… and my shotgun parking lot stalker will roll down they window and ask the muhfucka on THEY side if they leavin… i HATE that shit lol.

i will admit however, i have asked a muthafucka or two if they was leaving… BUT THEY WAS AT THEY CAR!!! with the doors open n shit… or getting ready to open they doors. and why did i ask? because some people… for whatever reason… will go back to they shit… get something out… and go back in the mall or whatever. but MOST times, you can tell if a muthafucka is bout to leaving or not. we wont talk about the muthafucka that take 8 gotdamn years to get they shit together to clear the fuck out… thats for another entry i suppose.
but anyway, like i was saying… i dont follow nobody to they shit… i have been coaxed into doing the shit a few times by my passenger parking lot stalker. but eehhh im too gotdamn impatient to wait for somebody walkin super fuckin slow to get back to thier fuckin car. fuck that… it aint that gotdamn serious for me.

the only time i dont get irritated at parking lot stalkers is when im like 2 cars away from my shit, and somebody asks me… then i dont mind so much. is there a way to tell how far i might be from my shit? no… but so fuckin what. i just dont mind when im close to my shit. lol but im an asshole who could care less about anybody elses parking spot… so usually when im walking to my car… i enter my car from a row or two over like i said earlier, just so i dont have to be asked or followed.
the only other time i dont mind the PLS’s is when IM looking for parking, and they are walking to THIER car, and they spot me looking for parking and they reach out to me, and say… hey, im parked right up there if you want my spot.
most times… only parking lot stalkers ask you this shit, because they know they are about to be followed and asked, just like they would do some complete fuckin stranger. lol but i do hate when somebody signs up to let you in thier spot and its a decent distance away, and they walk SLOW AS FUCK. gotdamn that shit pisses me off lol, because you cant just get impatient and roll the fuck off… like fuck you, you slow son of a bitch… id rather park a quarter of a mile away! they were kind enough to invite you to thier soon to be relinquished parking spot, and it would just be rude to ask them to hurry the fuck up. or pass on it because they were walking hella slow. it would also be rude to talk shit about thier reinactment of molasass movment to thier fucking vehicel, to who ever is riding shotgun… but i usually do that anyway lol.
lol a couple of times, during the summer or when its hot… and i got my windows down… ill be cracking jokes… and the person riding shot gun will laugh hella loud. lol now the person who was kind enough to invite me to thier parking spot… has a small inclination, that i am talkin about thier half steppin ass.

and of course… some gotdamn parking lot stalker is gonna leave some comment, talking about how they just want a good parking spot. whatever… stop being lazy muthafucka… take what you can get… walk yo ass on. its good for you.
oh… i got problems with my feet
maybe you shouldnt have your punk ass at the mall then huh?
maybe you should have your dumb ass at the fuckin gym or the gotdamn doctor?!?!
this might seem like a retarded excuse for a person to give… but please believe… i know some trifflin ass people who WOULD say some shit like this (pissing me off at the very same time). and then be mad that i can actually use my muthafuckin brain… finding huge gaping holes in thier half witted ass excuse… and then have the NERVE to call me mean after wards.
bitch! you just tried to insult my good sense! fuck you!

lol let me stop… im actually already mad and thinkin about some other shit… i been walkin around cussin for any reason possible.