The Damn Shit Fuck Truck, Built Like A Damn Rock!

During my senior year in high school, I used to drive a ’88 Ford Ranger that my dad gave me. I used to drive this truck around Fontana, California like a complete MAD MAN! Anybody that would ride with me would find themselves saying “damn shit for fuck over and over again” as the homie Prophet put it. So it gained the name of the “Damn Shit Fuck Truck”.

One day I went over the homie Wendels house with the homie Chris, aka Waxxon. Dont know why. We were there, we left. Next stop RJ’s House. At the end of Dells street there was a hard right turn. Normally there would be houses at this turn. But instead it was an empty field, with rocks and sticks and trash and more rocks, dirt, dust random sticks and more rocks and dirt after that. A lot of Fontana used look this way. But at the end of the field was the street RJ lived on.
So as we were driving off. I noticed that the street took a little dip, and the opposite side of the street there was that dirt field but it had a path way that lead up a slop…. that you could jump. Say like, if you were on a bike. And you were going super fast. You would get some air. But it was at least a 7 foot slop to the top. You really cant see the top if youre at the very bottom. And at the bottom started this ramp. Big enough for a car…. and/or a truck. So I drive past it and I say to Waxxon,
“It would be dope if we jumped that shit in this truck… and just rolled over that way to RJ house through that field”
He was like “YEA!”
OJ: fuck it then. lets do it…
Waxxon: HELL YEA!!!

So we circle back around and line up the truck. I noticed across the street from the empty field, was some white guy watering his lawn. Noticing us lining up this rampĀ  But I didnt give a fuck about what he was going through. We looked at each other on some “nigga are you sure” shit. YUP!!!! I slapped that bitch in 1st gear and took off! This nigga Waxxon started fuckin screaming. Not a super high pitched scream but it was high pitched. So of course, I started fuckin screaming. On some Geronimo shit. Got it to second right before I hit that ramp and got up a little more speed. Then… LAUNCH!!

I dont know how fast we hit this ramp. But what I do know is that when we started going up, screamin like a muthafucka, We KEPT going up!! Out of the the front wind shield I saw the top of roofs disappear, then the telephone wires disappeared. Then all I saw was blue sky. And that was IT! Holy SHIT! Time kinda just stopped at that moment. I was stuck in a loop of saying “SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT” over and over inside my head. It felt like we left the ground. But there is really no way for me to be sure. But as far as I’m concerned, we got more air than the picture above this text!

Then after, what seemed like forever, we landed. HARD AS FUCK!!! WHAMMM!!!!!! A big ass cloud of dust and dirt went into the air. I went from seeing sky to seeing what seemed like Dust Fog. That hard ass landing killed our screaming. We landed so fucking hard. Im not sure if we bounced. But I can tell you it wasnt cool like TV makes it look like. That shit is some shit to go through. It doesnt hurt exactly, but its a little bit like getting in a car accident lol. Which, as you know, feels good in no way shape or form. lol

So we land. We turn and look at each other. I start to laugh. He is already in full silent laugh mode with tears coming out of his eyes. Which made me laugh even harder than I was. In the middle of my laughter fit. It occurs to me that we should probably clear the scene. After the landing, I let go of the clutch and everything, so I started the truck back up and smashed out! Kicked up all kinds of dirt and dust and bullshit. Rumbling and bumbling through this rocky, trashed, bullshit filled field. Rolling over all kinds of rocks. Feeling like I was in a Ford Truck commercial. We were bouncing all around the inside of the damn truck rolling over rocks n shit. Then out of no where… This old ass couch appears. And some how, I bucked this couch out our path. Shit went FLYING! Waxxon started screaming AGAIN! Laughing super out of control. Some how this big ass, old ass couch didnt leave a scratch on the car. So we get to the other side of this field and roll unto the street with the biggest trail of dust behind us. By this time Waxxon cant fucking breathe at all. We roll over to RJ house to tell him what happen. Waxxon still couldnt fuckin breathe. RJ was in disbelief.

That shit was way too fun. I now understand the potential hazards that I didnt really try to foresee. Like I could have possibly shattered my axle. Or some other shit. We rolled back around there the next day to do that shit again. Like a couple of jack asses lol. But that same white guy from earlier put a big ass log at the bottom of the jump so we couldnt hit that shit again. And once again, he was out side watering his lawn. We saw the log, we looked over at him. He looks at us shaking his head. Gave us a look like …. wild ass jungle monkey ass niggers, fucking shit up.

Me and this nigga Waxxon found that shit way too hilarious. I parked the car and we LAUGHED OUR ASSES OFF for like a good 10 minutes. Pointing and laughing at the log, this white dude and the whole situation. Im sure that white guy didnt put that log there to get mocked in furious laughter by two Black kids. But he did. Im not sure what kind of super modation feeling came with that. But he wasnt amused lol. We were!

I realize this is a chevy commercial. And I was in a Ford. But I still wanted to be like these mfs on the commercials lol. And sure thought that was about to be me! As far as Im concerned, I was!! Shit was great lol

This is one of those stories that are only super funny to the people who it happen to. But since I dont fuck with Waxxon no more at all. It goes here for me to laugh at lol.