Blowed Thoughts Archives - Uhmah Park

Id say about 40% of the time, I write blog entries just for the titles lol. There is only one person that knows that about me though. (along with everybody that just read this just now)

Anyway, with that said… this shit right here is the fucking GUTS. Some people on my Buddy list make the memory my IM Client takes up during my work hours well worth it. (although I have plenty and this shit dont take up much to begin with like punk ass trillian.). The homie sent me a link to this gutty ass picture on aim. That led to this gutty ass conversation JD and I had. And then the nigga just had to blog about it. And I was as well, but Im too lazy to say everything he said over. Because thats what it would be at this point lol. So ill just paste it up, live from his myspace page. Tah Dah.

SPIDER MAN SPIDER MAN DOES WHATERVER A SPIDER CAN. SIKE

DAMN MY STOMACH HURTS! You gonna have to let it run through one time, it plays kinda slow at first but after that it runs in regular speed.

 

This shit was way to hilarious on so many levels! First of all, you now how I feel about grown people in costumes and shit, and to me this doesn’t even looked like it happened on Halloween.  No, this just looks like some dude that is really into spiderman, and probably wears that costume on for general purposes.  However, as big as a freak, I mean spider man fan that he is, I don’t know what made him think that he was the possessor of actual “spidey powers”  And do you see the damn stereo and speakers in the background!  Man I wish there was some audio too this.  But since there isn’t, Im just gonna go ahead and assume that he had the spider man theme song cranked up in the background.  Spider man, Spiderman, does whatever a spider can! SIKE!

I bet he was sitting around with his homies, probably after watching the latest spider man movie, and had a conversation as follows

Pseudo spidey:  “you know what, not only do I love spiderman, I AM SPIDERMAN! LOOK THE HELL OUT! WATCH ME PROVE IT!”

The 1st homey with the video camera: “Go for it man, matter of facti have a video camera right here! We will prove to the world spiderman isn’t fake!”

Pseudo Spidey to his 2nd homey in the background next to the stereo:” Man, Crank that SHIT UP!”

Than the second homey tunrs up the theme song, and spidey is getting all amped up cuz he is feeling like a super hero, and than…well you see what happened next.

This shit was doomed from the start! This niggas first foot was a straight airball! LMAO!

Then it seems as if his upper body realized he wasn’t gonna make it, but his lower body was like “uh-uh, im still going for it, we can pull this off!”  As we all know when your body is not fully cooperating with itself, there is invariably awful results.  Half way through his fall you can see him trying to bail out of the so called flip.  His body kinda twists to the side as he makes a feeble attempt to brace himself from his impending fall!  Sorry homey, but you did not jump nearly high enough, to give yourself  enough time to save yourself from such a brutal resolution to your super hero attempt.  Where are your spider webs at fool! The real spider man wouldn’t be running up buildings anyway, he would just websling his ass up to the top.  Im sure the real spiderman would suffer the same outcome if he tried to run up a wall, the only difference being, is the real spidey would’ve web slung his ass outta danger prior to hitting the ground! 

Ive let this replay at 100 times, and every time I see it , my neck and shoulder hurts!

==== FIN =====

I let this shit play back 100 times my self. I couldnt stop laughing for shit lol. And I was SOBER!

Three things that make me laugh the hardest…

1. People getting fucked up in some way form or fashion and its not their fault.

2. People fucking themselves up and its TOTALLY their fucking fault.

3. Seeing people super fucking frustrated, and reacting violently.
And to prove once and for all Ive every ones favorite hypocrite. Those are the three things I fucking HATE to go through the most ever in life my self.

Anyway… those three things happen. I cant help my self, I WILL show my ass EVERY single time.

Ask Jen about the lil boy who was on the roller skate shoes at magic mountain. Lil nigga folded his self… I pointed and everything. I probably embarrassed the fuck out of Jen Im sure lol. Im sorry Jen… lol not really. lol ok Im as sorry as a person who is still laughing at that event and doesnt feel bad for laughing lol. Dont kick it with me, its worse than it sounds. Ill embarrass the fuck out of both of us, I really cant help my self lol.

So yea, usually I can hold my laugh pretty good. Except in those three instances. Its bad. My aplogizes to every one thats folded themsleves on my triangle steps in my house lol. I know I laughed first lol. I folded my self too the first few times. Its ok lol. Its still funny lol. Calvin cursed my shits lmao.

Its so funny because you never really see people fuck themleves up. But you hear it like a muthafucka lol. Thump Thump Thump! Then comes some sort of moan and or yelp and or pitiful cry for help for a very minor injury lol. Shits never not funny. When people come to my house for the first time. I try to let them down the stairs by themselves…. and I just wait for the fall out at the bottom. Shits fucking hilarious lol.

Yes Im that same nigga that was laughing uncontrollably at Americas Funniest Home Vidoes. Seeing animals and babies fuck themselves up is JUST as funny. Im sorry, not really, I dont care lol.

Good Nite!


People say they want better education in this country. Oh?

I was thinking, what does better education REALLY mean?

Doesnt it mean more competition for naturally smart and driven muthafuckas? Who wants more competition? We all cant build myspace and facebook.

Maybe thats why rich people put there kids in private schools and well to do areas have better public schools than urban areas. Notice alot of people who went to private schools run the country and control funds that are dispersed to public schools and the like? Im just sayin. Somebody gotta actually do the fuckin work lol.

Competition is a muthafucka.


Just as I post about how people think I smoke too much, and I really dont. Turns out later on, I had a pretty blowed thought. I was rollin me a blunt of LA Confidential ( one of my favs… mmmm) , and I dropped a nugget on the floor as I was breakin it up. Then as I go to retrieve said nug, I noticed an even bigger nugget of some shit I must have dropped at some other point, because this nugget was purple as hell. I dont remember dropping that shit though! But gotdamn was I happy to find it!
lol click it...

So as I sat and watched Frisky Dingo and smoked this blunt of greatness. I had a thought. What if there were little monsters that lived under my desk and smoked up all the weed Ive dropped over the years. Because Im sure Ive dropped plenty, but I rarely ever fucking find it. I dropped a quarter of a joint some where around here one day, and that muthafucka has fucking disappeared. So did this really great pipe I used to have. Shits gone. I hardly ever find weed on the floor, but I know Ive dropped a bunch! It makes no sense. So maybe there are some little monsters that scoop up all the herb I drop and smoke that shit when I leave. Its not like I’d notice somebody had been smoking in here. Because it usually smells like weed in here… or those Method joints from target. Them shits are great.
But now that I think about it… If they started smoking when I was smoking, I wouldnt notice then either, and would explain me never really finding any weed on the floor.
Well, its either that or maybe the fact that I pay niggas to come through and clean my house bi-weekly. And I know they dont smoke lol. That shit probably just get vacummed up. Which is kind of fucking heart breaking at the moment. sigh. damn.

Id honestly rather there be little monsters that live under my couch and under my desk that smoke up all my dropped weed rather all that bomb get thrown away with the other bullshit thats on my floor lol.


Over at Engadget.com They were having a little caption contest with this picture. And I thought it would be pretty funny to add: “Other toys contain lead… this toy PUMPS YOU Full of LEAD! *evil robot laugh*”

Which brings me to my next point. America is under attack on a new front. From a brand new enemy ( hold up let me put on my GDub / Cheney suit ), The Chinese! Why do I say that? Well because I dont believe in coincidences all that much. I think its mighty strange that SO MANY damn toys just happen to contain lead. Its starting to feel like this shit is being done on purpose. Pretty soon little kids aint gonna have shit to play with. Kids are going to go to playing with (and fucking LOSING) their parents keys full time now lol.

I cant imagine what the Chinese might be up to with this. Of course, since I have on my Gdub suit, my first and initial thoughts are that they wanna kill Americans of course. But honestly I think its a little deeper than that. Maybe they want to get littleAmerican kids to play with lead based toys, catch cancer. And then tahdah? Some miracle way, the Chinese have the cure for cancer. Of course Americans would pay out the ass for a cure for cancer. Do you know what that would do for the Chinese economy?? They could just quit making bootleg shit and lead based toys cold turkey and live off that shit for as long as Americans smoke cigarettes and buy cheap shit.

Im really starting to think they have a cure for cancer, because… if there is a “problem” with lead based toys, then why dont we hear about Chinese people dropping dead from making the shit? Or is this a new thing, and they havent started dropping dead yet? One of these things have to be happening. Im convienced, I just dont know which one.