So…. you wanna be a backpacker huh?

this shit was tha guts…

so i thought id paste it for more people to see

the homie john ( from south carolina… not my cousin ) showed me this like last week on some message board for hiphop wanna be retards… but this shit had me dyin.

HOW TO BE A BACKPACKER

By an Asian kid in the suburbs.

So you wake up one day and realize your taste in music sucks. And obviously, that means you suck as well. You’re tired, frustrated, hopelessly unhip, and you’re very sick of your Winamp playlist. But wait…… before you pull that trigger, consider this.

You need hip hop and you need it fast.

For your sake, I’ve set up a “How to be a backpacker” kit that’s so easy, virtually anybody can do it. Don’t worry. You’ll be in touch with the little b-boy inside of you in no time. After this kit, you’ll be keeping it so real that only other backpackers will understand a word you spit. So what are we waiting for? Let’s begin.

A good backpacker is neck deep in underground hip hop records. Here’s some to get you started:

Aceyalone – Accepted Eclectic ( OJ note: if you are indeed tryin to be a backpacker… All Balls dont bounce and The Book of Human Language are WAY tha fuck better )

Mystik Journeymen – Black Sands ov Eternia

Cannibal Ox – The Cold Vein

Anticon – Music for the Advancement of Hip Hop

Quasimoto – The Unseen

Atmosphere – Overcast

7l & Esoteric – The Soul Purpose

Start with these. Then supplement with some Aesop Rock, Buck 65, Solesides, Mr. Lif, and perhaps even a little Planet Asia. Throw in some a Kool Keith record for good measure and you’re set.

Frat boys are starting to claim they’re about the “real” hip hop. Show them who’s boss by flaunting your superior tastes while STILL listening to all of their shit. Here’s some of their favorites:

Jurassic 5 – Quality Control

Deltron 3030 (anything by Del)

The Roots – Things Fall Apart ( OJ’s Note: great cd )

Mos Def – Black on Both Sides ( OJ’s Note: great cd )

Common – Like Water for Chocolate

Dilated Peoples – The Platform LP

Reflection Eternal – Train of Thought

Method Man / Redman – Blackout (OJ’s Note: this was the fuckin SHIT!!! )

Bonus Credit: Try obtaining some tapes of local artists nobody knows about. This will be your secret weapon.

So now you’ve got your base. But you still look like a little new-jack. Pick up some certified hip hop classics to boost your credibility. People will think you’ve been in the game for years. Backpacker approved classics:

Nas – Illmatic

Company Flow – Funcrusher Plus

Wu Tang Clan – Enter the 36 Chambers

De la Soul – 3 Feet High and Rising

A Tribe Called Quest – The Low End Theory

Pete Rock / CL Smooth – Mecca and the Soul Brother

Jeru tha Damaja – The Sun Rises in the East

Freestyle Fellowship – To Whom it May Concern

Gang Starr – Daily Operation

Feeling brave? If you’re ambitious, you can take things even further. Convince ’em you were there in the beginning with these:

BDP – Criminal Minded

Public Enemy – It’ll Take a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back (OJ’s Note: this shit right here is extra great!! )

NWA – Straight Outta Compton

Ultramagnetic MCs – Critical Beatdown

Run DMC – Raising Hell

Erik B. & Rakim – Paid in Full

Bonus Credit: Tell people you’re from the Bronx. Tell them about Kool Herc, Bambataa, and Flash. You were there. Make them believe it.

(Know your elements)

There are a few more things you must learn before you blossom into a backpacker. Without delay, here you have it:

– If anybody asks, your favorite producers are Primo, Pete Rock, Automator, Prince Paul, and the RZA (but emphasize that you only like pre-Wu-tang-Forever RZA).

– You must learn to speak like a backpacker. Pepper your language with “knowmsayin” and refer to as many things as possible as “shit”. You’ll have to be patient. Try recording your voice and comparing it to some Busta Rhymes skits. Practice makes perfect.

– Wear T-shirts, hooded sweatshirts, baggy jeans (not too baggy. you do not want to crossover into raver pants territory), and lots of hats and visors. Walk with a slight limp and never smile.

– Have diversity on your side. Backpackers get eclectic with Portishead, Esthero, Radiohead, DJ Shadow, and Amon Tobin. You can say your girl/boyfriend got you into it. (OJ’s Note: portishead cracks )

– You must like at least one Jay-Z album. It is a backpacker’s obligation. This will save your ass when people claim you are an elitist snob.

– Smoke lots of weed.

So there you have it. It’s really much easier than it sounds. If it helps, try setting a few hours aside each day to practice hip hop. Refer to UndergroundHipHop.com and read Ego Trip’s Book of Rap Lists. Go to shows, write some lyrics, learn to beatbox, get some 1200s. Learn about the elements and assimilate yourself into them. Quiz your friends and laugh at their ignorance. Confidence won’t be so slippery much longer. Remember… hip hop is a way of life, and now you’ve got the shortcuts.

If you need further assistance… try to Discover Hip hop.

Ok! You’re welcome.

Good luck everybody!

lol that shit is hella funny….

when i read that shit for the first time… i couldnt help but compare my personal taste to that shit…

and:

i dont like half the artist on that damn list… and havnt heard some of those classics… ( not just the ones i put remarks by )

i like some of the rza beats after wutang forever lol

i like WAY more than one Jay-Z album… i actually like most of his shit

i listen to WAY too much gangsta rap lol

i dont smoke ALOT of weed

i dont walk with a slight limp… and i be smiling for the wrong reasons lol ( im usually laughin at somebody )

i dont say knowwhatimsayin too much at all… shit… hardly ever ( everything is “shit” tho… just send me a AIM and ask me what im doin lol )

for the record tho… i fuckin hate most backpackers… most of them muhfuckas is fraudulent and try TOO fuckin hard to be not so run of the mill… most of em is bitches… most of em is fuckin shady. most of em aint got no fuckin backbone.

anyway… let me catch some Black out.

15 Responses to “So…. you wanna be a backpacker huh?”

  1. Alphabits

    Your fruitcake ass is fucking in high school.. I can tell.. 1. Buy a gun 2. Write your name on a bullet 3. Figure the rest out yourself homo..

  2. Ahahaha $kam.. you should do something similar called “Your Guide to Being A Wigga”. You should go back to the farm homeboy and milk cows and shit instead of tryin to do hiphop.. either that or wait for your balls to drop.

  3. yomommason

    really.. this was funny.. but the funniest part was you defending yourself from being a backpacker… that’s like reading an article about faggots and be all nervous and sweaty like “no no, really i don’t like sucking dick, this article is all wrong uhhh”.. hahaha

  4. soufdallas

    man fuck all dat shit, nigga like me was on that nwa and that bone thugs n harmony….twista was da shit bak in 94 and do or die……….new york rappers had them wack ass beats….pac was tight then to and big ….snoop and dre, and ice cube, e 40 and scarface…..da rest of dem up der be on that bull shit rappin……………

  5. blabz one

    i like the majority of the stuff that guy wrote down. i was raised into the four elements of hiphop so basically started of backpackin. dont hate just be happy that hiphop is atill around.

  6. u peeps are too young to remember any good music anyways. last good run of hip hop was back in the early nineties and we havent seen anything that will make us go back to the golden age of hip hop. it will forever now be a blend of pop/r&b and some jay-z/eminem/50 cent shit thrown in the mix. get da fugoutta hea w/that fugazi shiet.

  7. fuckin i just stumbled across this site and i guess im pretty much a backpacker and shit but i think ive only said knowmsayin a few times in my life, and fuck i dont smoke weed anymore but i used to smoke at least 2-3 times a day

  8. thsi article is kool….and i am from Taiwan….many guys here read this article…

    and also there r soem backpakcers 2 =)
    anyway…we all laugh after we saw this …haa….

    okok…i just wanna say: Nas & Gang Starr Rule!!