Sleep if you dare / But death catch niggas when they sleep!
if a muthafucka can tell me what song that line there is from.
ill get you blowed (drunk or high or both lol) and i say that because… aint no way in the hell you can NOT be from LA and get that shit lol. so im confident im safe. but if some asshole in salt lake city gets it right… well you can hang that shit up. i hate utah, more than i do texas… fuck utah, and all thier sports teams. lol
i actually only know two niggas that MIGHT get it. BMG and Dell (who ill talk about later.)
dont you hate when your stuck driving, its late as fuck and youre sleepy as fuck… and your passenger is blacked out… sleep like a muthafucka… and you are basically alone on the road, tired, trying not to fall asleep. yet this dick head next to you is blacked smooth the fuck out, resting comfortably… while youre strugling to get yall both to the given destination with out falling asleep behind the wheel. this shit here definitly goes on the top 50 worst things to go through ever.
me personally, i cant stand the shit. some people are ok with this… some people hate it. i cant fuckin stand it… thats why im looking for a disignated driver ( still accepting applications by the way lol. but practically speaking, applicants should probably reside in the valley some where lol ).
and if you know me… or read this blogger fairly often (which doesnt mean you know me by the way)… it shouldnt surprise you that i am NOT above employing flagrantly fucked up ass tatics to make sure that, when im driving… aint NObody going to sleep lol. fuck that… i hate that shit lol. i do realize that some people might find this a bit selfish on my behalf. but you people can really kiss my black ass and not ever jump the fuck in my gotdamn car, or any car im driving.
but fuck that… im driving and the passengers in the car… we are in this together! im not anybodies personal driver! fuck that. when i drive… everybody has to listen to what im listening to… at which ever volume i so choose (i am considerate sometimes. and to people on thier phone). if im rolling with no AC… then you gotta fuckin tuff it out. i got all you muthafuckas lives in my gotdamn hands… i should be the muthafucka accomadated! and thats what cracks lol. fuck you and your slumber! its about ME and ME driving!
Alternetivly however… i refuse to extend these same accomodations to those that apply for that designated driver pos. before anybody screams “oh thats fucked up!” remember ALL the amenities that come along with the position. its a position! lol
Anyway. So… here are some tatics that you can use to make sure you have company on the ride home… and not some comatose inconsiderate asshole riding shotgun. ive done this shit several times. it works… lol i promise
1. Get off the freeway at some random ass spot for no reason – this works most of the time. for whatever reason, when the car a sleep person is riding in, gets off the freeway… this sleep person wakes up. i have no clue why this is. not everybody wakes up… but alot of times people will wake up. its werid. to take it a step further… when you get off on your random ass spot. and your slumbered shotgun mate wakes they punk ass up and ask you “why we gettin off?” or “where are we” look over at them with a really blank stare and say: “…. hm. i dont know??” LMAO this will wake the sleepy head up because they will have to wake up more to assess the situation properly and ask you again like “WHAT?!? you dont know?? what the fuck is wrong with you!?”
lol you can go countless ways with this shit. its the guts really. and if youre good at keeping a straight face… you can basically laugh about the shit all the way back home lol.
i remember one time i was on some “uhh…. i dont know? i guess i should get back on the freeway… i just figured it was a good place to get off the freeway. you know?” LOL shit was the guts
2. Swerve! lol this is really a VERY FUCKED UP WAY to wake up lmao. gotdamn… muthafuckas be PISSED when they find out, that you swerved for no reason lmao. gotdamn… i made that mistake once. i swerved real bad, and the homie woke up like WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?! OH SHIT WERE GOING TO FUCKING DIE!!! then when he saw me over there laughin like a muthafucka, realized i did that shit on purpose lol… i got cussed out. but honestly… that just made the shit more funny… and that shit woke me back up and kept me laughin all the way home.
i suggest if you decide to go with the swerve tatic… LIE! be like… “yo! there was a goat in the middle of the highway dogg! i almost hit that muthafucka!” and really… depending on how sleep your passenger is (and how straight of a face you can keep) you can pull this off until they wake all the way up and try to figure out how a gotdamn GOAT possibly found its way onto the fucking freeway lol (actually… now that i think about this… i guess the probability depends on where you live lol). or… if youre rolling with a dumb muthafucka… this shit will keep them guessing all the way home lol.
3. Roll down ALL the windows. lol this is just fucked up and cruel lol. it also might cause you some discomfort lol. but it works lol.
4. Play something SUPER WACK lol. depending on who you are riding with… they will wake up super irritated lol. i know if i ever woke up to some master p act a fool or some other no limit bullshit ( that wasnt by snoop or ‘how you do dat dere’) id wake up cussin like a muthafucka.
there is other shit i do… but i honestly cant remember. a nigga is sleepy. im fucking drained. im tired in every form possible right now. with no signs of releif no where in site, sigh… well, maybe this weekend i MIGHT get some sleep. lets hope. shit… while we are hoping for shit to happen. lets hope that i dont have endure any more bullshit this week either… fuck. monday alone kicked me straight in the ass. and i havent gotten up yet.
this entry was inspired by dell.
No… not the computer company with the sometimes gutty commercials. but the homie Dell… Wendell aka BruthaDub. he too has a blogger on this site located at http://coldbiz.five27.com. this nigga is the guts lol.
that jesus walks shit had me rollin lol.