was pacing around last night….

and something poped in my head

i wonder what kinda shoes GOD wears?

does he wear Jordans? or does he wear something more classy? like Stacy Adams or some shit.. or maybe sandals

you know?

?


*Note: taken from one of our many aim convos. i know your saying to your self… Dont they live in the same spot?

YEP!

and we still talk on aim… say what you will… we dont care. Also… the names of the hella guilty have been changed so that we dont get random im’s from people we dont know.

And Lastly… this convo was edited in fear that potiental clients might read it lol hopefully this shit will never see the public eye… just tha few people who read this… but even if it does…. IT WAS ALL IN FUN… no harm no foul lol*

in light of all the award shows going on right now….

Syl and I decided to throw our own award show…

and the presenters arrreeeeeeee…

>>> enter aim convo >>>

Agent Orange: Bill Clinton and Jessie Jackson? lol

Dr Pink: VENUS AND SERENA

Dr Pink: YEA

Dr Pink : AND MADONNA AND DAVID LETTERMAN

Agent Orange: Ike Turner and OJ Simpson lol

Dr Pink : AND MARIAH AND MISS CLEO

Dr Pink: DR KIVORCIAN AND MARY J BLIGE

Dr Pink : OHH THAT WAS WRONG

Dr Pink: AND WHITNEY AND A DEA AGENT

Agent Orange: lol hell naw

Dr Pink : RICKI MARTIN AND CYSCO

Agent Orange : lil kim and micheal jackson?

Dr Pink : lil kim and rupal

Dr Pink : mase and kurt franklin

Dr Pink : dolores tucker and lil kim

Agent Orange : mase and kurt franklin?!?!

Agent Orange : debo and mike tyson

Agent Orange: sisco and liberatchi

Agent Orange: ooh shit lol

Dr Pink: he died of aids

Dr Pink: LOLOL

Agent Orange: oops! lol

Dr Pink: damnit

Agent Orange: kool keith and tommy lee

Dr Pink : tommy lee and dude upstairs ( dude upstairs be wwf’in his girlfriend )

Agent Orange : or bjork and kool keith

Agent Orange: lol snoop and the count lol ( from seasame street )

Dr Pink : LMAOO

Agent Orange : mc hammer and tone loc

Dr Pink : george clinton and bjork

Dr Pink: puffy and mick jagger. the fucked up grill duo

Agent Orange: lol oh wow lol

Dr Pink: the juice man and buster rhymes

Dr Pink: kellis and ike turner

Agent Orange: THA JUICE MAN?!?!?!?

Agent Orange : lmao!!!

Agent Orange : robert blake and oj simpson

Agent Orange: damn lol

Dr Pink: tammy fae baker and mary j blige

Dr Pink: hahha!

Agent Orange: GASP!!!!

Dr Pink : zah zah gabor and lil kim

Dr Pink: michael jackson and shakira. (lock your kids up)

Agent Orange : thas low lol

Agent Orange: lil mo and tina turner

Agent Orange: oh shit!!

Agent Orange : goerge bush and suge knight

Dr Pink : eminems mom and the girl who sued mike tyson

Dr Pink : kam and brintey spears

Dr Pink : ice cube and gwenethe paltrow

Agent Orange: lol you just askin for insults on stage lol

Dr Pink : lisa leslie and dangelo

Agent Orange : thas fucked up!

Agent Orange: lol tryin to let tha cat out the bag?!?!?!

Agent Orange: ALL the way

Dr Pink: loooolll

Agent Orange : Snoop and Bill Clinton

Agent Orange : lmao mary j and allen iverson ( super twins )

Dr Pink: the survivor winner and tom hanks

Agent Orange: lol hell naw

Agent Orange: rick james and marv albert….

Agent Orange: SUPERFREAK!

Agent Orange: ol dirty bastard kids and richard pryor kids

Agent Orange: lol

Dr Pink: that would be the whole stage

Agent Orange: be like 80 people on stage lol

Dr Pink : ok?

Dr Pink : ricki martin and eric sermon

Dr Pink: charles barkley and jenny craig

Agent Orange : baby face and lenny kravitz

Agent Orange : bottsy collins and john witherspoon

Dr Pink: angie martinez and j lo — the person to guess the right one gets a free puffy cd/

Agent Orange: dmx… nelly…. ja rule… lil zane… and bushwick

Agent Orange: attack of tha 4 foot rappers

Agent Orange: tha first single would be “he’s a wee man”

Agent Orange : wit d’angelo singin tha hook

Agent Orange : old dirty live from prison and rober downey

Agent Orange: al sharpton and dru down

Dr Pink: toi and the muppet scientist who doesnt have a mouth

Agent Orange : OH NO!!

Dr Pink: tommy lee and animal from the muppets

Agent Orange: ANIMAL?!!?!?!?

Agent Orange: kelly price and miss piggy

Agent Orange : ja rule and kermit

Dr Pink: sunshine anderson and miss kim from crenshaw hair shop

Agent Orange: miss kim?!?!?

Agent Orange : ooh black girl so pretty?

Agent Orange: shawn kemp and jessie jackson

Dr Pink : bone thugs and tamika wright

Dr Pink : dre and suge

Agent Orange: Snoop and Suge lol

Dr Pink: heide flies and bill clinton

Agent Orange: Puff and Aceyalone lol

Dr Pink: queen latifah and hilary clinton

Agent Orange : queen latifah and trina

Agent Orange : queen latifah and too short ( i said BIIITCH lol )

Dr Pink : too short and bill clinton

Dr Pink : missy and three wnba players

Dr Pink: alicia keys and mary j blige

Agent Orange: jay z and big bird

Dr Pink: tom arnold and homer simpson

Agent Orange: eminem and oscar the grouch

Dr Pink: eminem and the backstreet boys

Agent Orange : and n’sync

Agent Orange : damn lol

Agent Orange : rage against the machine and n’sync

Dr Pink: cisco and oscar de la hoya

Agent Orange: hell naw lol

Agent Orange : cisco and elton john

Agent Orange: eminem and vinilla ice

Agent Orange: everlast and vinilla ice

Dr Pink : michael jackson and bubbles

Dr Pink : gangsta dee and bushwick bil

Dr Pink : dj quick and rick james .. return of the gherri curl

Agent Orange: or tha perm

Agent Orange: suga free and ray caruth


Syl is the damn guts!

on the 26th of august she wrote in her blogger about her not needing to be on tha net during certian stretches of the year that just aint too good for her socially.

While she was getting hr blog on ( i didnt know ) i was creepin up on her tryin to scare her… for no other reason than me being bored… but she turned around and caught me…

Anyway…the kwas was in serious dout that i actually had the ability to catch a muhfucka slippin.

now… i dont like to brag… lol but buss it:

>> enter syls reblogger >>

lmao…how oj tall ass gonna sneak up on anybody? his shadow would rat him out. hold on…i need to take a swig of cranberry juice..

kwas – posted at 3:32 GMT 27/8/01

CASE STUDY WHOA slick aint even the right word. MASTER OF GUISE is more appropriate in this statement. i shall present three scenarios for my argument. exhibit 1. at approximately 3 a.m. on a given weekday night sylvia was sleeping on my bed with 3 comforters, and 6 pillows. i woke up cold and went to reach for a blanket. there was only one, but in my sleepy-conscious state i didnt cognitively apply to logic that in fact i had 3. a few minutes later i was awaken by some movement on the bed. i opened my eyes and see OJ standing over the bed holding a pillow… standing statuesque and not moving staring right into my eyes. i blinked and rubbed my eyes and looked again and he was gone. in the morning when i woke up to go make coffee i saw ALL my bedding on the living room couch. i guess i was so sleepy i didnt realize i had been pillow jacked. exhibit 2. we have this one client who shall remain nameless. for business appropriate reasons the site shall also remain nameless. but i will tell you this. during a beta testing of the site review, OJ, the digital camera and all audible movement disappeared within 2.5 seconds from thier original place. as i was turing to OJ to confirm a date i was alarmed to notice that he was no longer in his prior seat, but behind the unnamed client, digital camera focused on her hair and clothing, and his finger strategically placed to snap the photo. the rest shall be unspoken. exhibit 3. as i opened the front door to our apt. i see OJ running towards me. mind you i hear nothing. this man is 6’7. i hear NOTHING. as i look to the keyhole and remove the key and walk in the door i look ahead of me and see NO ONE. i proceed to walk two steps in and look to the left. OJ is standing there already mixing and cooking. I just shake my head in astonishment as to how within 3 steps of mine has he managed to progress all the way into the kitchen,find a utensil, and involve himself in activities. final conclusion: ive come up with one theory in application to my roomate OJ and his slick maneavers. When you hear nothing, bet OJ is up to SOMETHING. the man is slick. case study proven.

sylG – posted at 18:56 GMT 27/8/01

>> exit syls reblogger >>

lol that shit cracked me up…

just thought id share…


You ever have a dream… that was a re-run???

as in have you ever had the SAME damn dream twice?

Last night i had tha same dream i had…. …… …. well i dont remember when this dream was but i know i saw it before… so it was a re-run…

this is like the 3rd time this shit has ever happen to me…

lol and my black ass had the nerve to be mad everytime lol

like FUCK! i seen this shit before.

first two times i did tha same shit i did in tha first two dreams….

they was exact repeats…

this last time i had a tad bit more control… so i did some other shit…

but it was tha same dream still… i was just sittin in a different spot…

…. are you wondering what tha dream was about?

id type tha shit… but im lazy… maybe later…


Damn Shit Fuck

The Source Awards where TERRRRRRIBLE

nobody live won SHIT

Excpet for outkast and the neptunes… but fuck even tha award they got was questionable… but that could have went either way… so im not trippin.

Video of the Year went to Em…

Thas cool too i guess…

but i HATE that gotdamn song. so fuck that…

BOB should have won… or de la

New Artist…

i actually like ludacris… dude is cool… he on everybody shit… he should have won…

but Nelly punk ass won…

ignat bastid! him and his band of dumb fucks

That nigga is a jive ass turkey boi i swear

Album of the year

Nelly again?

this is some ol BULLSHIT… i thought this was the HIP HOP awards…

not hip POP….

muthafucka makes str8 sing alongs….

nnooooo lyrics… just a couple of cool beats…

you need more than beats man!

Artist of the year

Ja rule huh?

Another damn Tupac knockoff….

he remind me of swapmeet clothes… ( flea markets or brazzers or whatever the hell you other muhfuckas in other parts of tha world call the shits) you know how you be seein muhfuckas with NK AIR or FB05 and other dumb shit like that…

thas what he remind me of…

Air Gordons… or pro wings… attack force or some shit…

Lyrist of the Year

Scarface?

Veerrrrrryyyyyyy fishy… is this the year of the dirty dirty?

out of Eminem… Jay Z? Talib Kweli?!?!? come on now…..

Scarface??

lol whatever man… i was surprised…

Live performer of the year….

cant remembr who won that shit….

i think outkast… but im not sure….

Single of the year

Country Grammer…

sigh… i only know like 10 niggas on the west coast that likes that bullshit…. did they forget about us?

shit… i know a couple niggas from st louis that was like… ??? tha fuck is this guy talkin about??

Dont get me wrong…. Im not “hating”

the guy sucks.

Period… nigga has NO skills on tha mic… ILL battle his ass and eat him up

R and B artist of the year….

R Kelly… the commerical pick… of course…

i cant even complain really… i like r kelly a tad his latest wasnt all that… but tha old shit is still the shit….

Anyway…

The Silly Negro awards was on some bullshit this year….

GONG!!

Oh yea…

Vivica Fox FOLDED her self with the suspect nose job…

her bad…

oh well….


time out

i just thought about something…

You ever wonder why your back doesnt get ashy?

Have you ever seen anybody with an ashy back?

How do you even know if your back is ashy?

Do you think if you was walkin around tha house… and your back was ashy… do you think somebody would tell you…

woud they even care?

like yo… your back could use some moister dogg….

What would you think of a muhfucka that noticed that yo ass had a ashy back… or anybody else for that reson… and then Felt so strong about tha shit that they had to comment on tha shit.

imagine you bout to mess wit somebody only to discover they had a ashy back.

Would you still wanna be involed with they dry skinned ass?

hmm… i wsa just wondering…

Time out tho…

have you ever seen anybody with ashy titties?

that shit is so damn terrible!

you cant really do shit but laugh to your self.. like damn… foreal… put some lotion on them muthafuckas… please?

am i suppose to lick on those?

come on now man…

who wants to suck on ashy titties?

i mean damn…

YOU CAN SEE THOSE!

when a muhfucka lotion up… why wouldnt they put lotion on they titties?

they dont have to have intentions on fuckin with anybody that day…

or even showing they titties to anybody… or being even put in that situation…

You ever see what happens to dry ass FEET?!?!?!?!

is it really possible for a female titties to dry up tha same way?

i mean would they shit just STAY dry if they never lotion them? like people feet do?

you know some muthafuckas feet just be nasty dry and they shit NEVER RECOVER…

i wonder could tha same shit happen to a pair of titties?

See…. i need to be sleep!

but no… im thinking tha possiblity of dry ass backs… and dry ass titties…

this is tha fuckin pits… foreal


The Ledgend of the GOOCH

So… last week… me and syl was watchin tv… then out of now where… syls starts to notice this LOUD ASS cricket gettin, this nigga is makin a bunch of damn noise

we couldnt turn up tha TV to drown this muhfucka out…

fuck it… imma look for him on some assassination shit…

5 min of a half ass search…..

tha gouch is still cherpin loud as shit…

fuck it.

next day… we tried to escape the gouch… went in my room to watch tv….

why this muhfucka come in MY ROOM… Chripin loud as fuck?!!?!?

muthafucka!

still couldnt find his ass….

fuck it… switched rooms… closed tha door…

next muthafucking day

my cousin RJ is over…

and tha nigga is gonna stay tha night…

we in my room kickin it… crackin jokes n shit…. niggas gettin ready to black out…

Syl ass knock on tha door…

tha cricket is keepin me up!

its like 3

we cant hear tha muhfucka… we busy talkin shit…

so we get up… and look for this damn kricket…

Mind you ever time we look for it… he shut up….

anyway… we lookin… he shut up

we dubed him “the gouch”

Because he was a pain in the ass… and we couldnt find his ass for shit!! And since nobody ever really seen tha gouch ( from different strokes just incase im spelling tha shit fucked up or yall muthafuckas dont remember ) so fuck it… thas his name…

as soon as we have up tho…

tha mufhucaks blew it bad…

started chripin RIGHT BY ME!

i was kinda insulted… moved some shit…

Assassinated the gouch with that size 13 shell toe to tha back of the neck

CRUNCH!!! that muhfucka was BIG

no more gooch lol

i just wanna know how tha muhfucka got in… dammit.

Side note: i was spelling it Gouch and not Gooch… i basically blew it… i was tired… my bad… if this post still says gouch anywhere in it… just ignore it and move on. lol


Uhmah Park

This is really some bullshit that i cant sleep…

i just want everybody to know that…

i guess i think too much…

and i think about dumb ass shit too…

like tha other day… i could have sworne i heard some asshole say that a muhfucka couldnt be happy and sad at tha same time…

bullshit!

im living proof….

i been amemic my whole life damn near ( i stoped eating beef in the 4th grade ) or most of my life… whatever… fuck it… i been lacking hella iron…

Anyway…

i had to get hella sick and pass out to find out that the reason i been havin tha most GOD AWFUL headaches since i can remember…. tha reason why i just cant seem to be happy at times… tha reason i have random ass chest pains and a slew of other bullshit is ALLLL because i was gotdamn amemic… but now that i know….

im happy because all this shit is about to end…

but pissed off that ALL IT TOOK was one of those lazy ass days i was sittin around bitchin cuz i was bored… to go to tha hospital ( when i had insurance and tha shit only cost 10 bucks ) and tell somebody my head ALWAYS hurts… and im always cold when everybody else is burning up. Something is worng…

thas all it took…

so tha shit is very damn possible…

shit sucks tho lol


goin thru my shit…

i gotta joke…

Three mice are sitting in a bar in a pretty rough neighborhood late at night trying to impress each other about how tough they are.

The first mouse pounds a shot of scotch, slams the shot glass to the bar, turns to the second mouse and says: “When I see a mousetrap, I get on it, lie on my back, and set it off with my foot. When the bar comes down, I catch it in my teeth, and then

bench press it 100 times.”

The second mouse orders up two shots of tequila. He grabs one in each paw, slams the shots, and pounds the glasses to the bar. He turns to the other mice and replies: “Yeah, well when I see rat poison, I collect as much as I can and take it home. In the morning, I grind it up into a powder and put it in my coffee so I get a good buzz going for the rest of the day.”

The first mouse and the second mouse then turn to the third mouse. The third mouse lets out a long sigh and says to the first two,

“I don’t have time for this bullshit.

I gotta go home and fuck the cat.”

this shit never fails to crack me up lol


i was going thru some of my old shit…

and i found this one shit on how i was bitchin about how i REALLY fuckin hate church….

this is from like last year i think…

buss it

Reflecting back on the sunday that just passed…

while i was stuck as fuck at showtime in compton…

i mean church… (spot was in tha cpt)

i was sittin there bout to nut thinkin of leavin…

but while i was basking in that humid ass so called house of worship inhalin recycled ass air… i began to notice shit…

such as:

I hardly EVER take my ass to fuckin church… but why everyfuckin time im swindled into goin… ITS HOT AS FUCK!?!!?!?!?!?

nigga it rained for like 3 weeks… and juss fuckin STOP tha day i gotta take my ass to church…

Why in tha fuck is church tha only place where you see alotta DARK ASS niggas in one place?!?!?… be like 20 blue black niggas in tha same spot… shit dont ever happen no where else but church… muhfuckas be blurpuple…

Why was i sittin there pissed off not wantin to be there, but didnt wanna go get some air or take a piss cuz i thought i was gonna miss part of the show?!?! them nigga was partiein lol… a muhfucka fell n shit… niggas was rockin and gettin happy n shit…

WHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY in tha fuck dont they have some kinda exhaust fans in church?!?!?!!? it be HOT AS FUCK outside… then like 20 degrees hotter inside!!! plus 800% humidity… be feelin like niggas is in tha rain forest runnin laps wit a plastic jump suit on… ugh…

Why in tha fuck do churches be havin all that audio eqipment… woofers… all kinda speakers all over tha muhfucka… all kinda band equipment… but all tha shit they be playin… NO BASS?!?!?!? no shit… it be kinda rockin if u like that kinda thing… but no real beat! kinda shit is that?!?!?! waste of some bangin ass speakers…. they should be shakin tha picture of a cracka ass cracka jesus offa tha wall…

Do preachers write thier surmonds down?!?!?!? and then do they rehearse it?!?!?! and if its not writen and rehearsed… preachers and decons n shit need to be givin more credit for they freestyles!!!! they be up there calm n shit… then they get excited… mouth all on tha mic n shit… yellin… spittin… wavein they arms n shit… some of em dance around n shit… step away from tha mic and tha podum n shit… point at muhfuckas… swear muhfuckas aint understandin they ass n shit… or they not hearin they ass… puttin on a str8 show… no rehearsal?!?!?!? gotdamn… thas tha freshest shit ever lol… and speakin of that shit… do tha band and tha preacher come in on thrusday nights and practice?!?!!? cuz tha preacher start to get “live” and then tha nigga on tha organ be like DUUNT!!… and then after a couple of min here come tha muhfucka on tha drums come in n shit… and then after a min… they be bangin shit again… str8 boogiein… wit tha nigga on tha piano… and tha drums n shit goin… choir n shit… str8 proformin…

str8 puttin on a show…

hot as fuck…

all them dark muhfuckas hoppin around n shit…

and tha old muhfuckas…

speakers blarin nothin but this nigga yellin and tha organ… NO BASS at all… juss Treble out tha ass offa all that tight ass audio equpiment…

preacher commin offa tha dome wit all kinda jibberish…

whole “house of worship” rockin…

like imma walk out and miss this shit…

never tha less…

BBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

tis all……

lol i crack me up