has anybody seen the sprint pcs commerical where that guy is sitting with tha mother…. and tha baby sitter… and the kids?

and tha moms starts off and says… i called and said… how are the kids.

then tha baby sitter… this bitch says… i thought you said flour the kids… now what would have happen if you would have said to flour the kids?

and the kids are just sittin there covered in flour.

and then they go into tha lil pcs bullshit.

and reach some kinda solution involing a pcs celly… and everybody is relieved…

but time out.

this commerical is a whole buncha bullshit… because…. if somebody covered my muthafuckin kids ( no i dont have none im allergic to kids ) in flour…. i dont care WHAT it sounded like… you dont cover nobody muthafuckin kids in fuckin flour!

Nigga woulda walked in… and saw his kids covered in flour… asked tha babysitter… ummm excuse me… what in tha fuck? would you be so kiiiiiiind as to inform me why in tha fuck my muthafuckin children covered in flour? Bitch woulda been like, you called and said to flour the kids! convo ends… ass kicking begins…. that baby sitter would have caught a ass whooping, and tha BOOT! commercial would have started on tha ass end of that ladies ass kicking. and it would have probably been a commerical for self defense or the center for troubled hearing and low common sence abilities. stupid bitch…

that commerical urks my shit.

fuckin shit!


My business partner got duped when we moved over here (La Dera Heights). The landscape and buildings are super spiff, the whole lay out or whatever is super spiff. but where the dupafication comes in at is the part where they neglected to tell us that this muthafucka was built on top of the biggest ant hill west of the mississppi.

i have a name for the ants.

the ants are called the Ride or Die ants. These fuckin ants be all over tha fuckin place. they dont giva fuck where they go, or whats goin on. if they feel like it, theyre gonna roll… either one or two… or deep as fuck. Were not dirty or no shit… the ants are all over the WHOLE complex… from the first floor to the 4th floors… to the main office lobby to the parkin structure. everybody bitches about tha ants… no matter how much you spray, your shit isnt safe. they will find a way. ive even seen the muthafuckas in tha dishwasher. Thats how they got the name ” The Ryde or Die Ants.” they are really a pain in the ass. we are moving on monday. fuck the punk ass ryde or die ants.

Earlier today. i made Chicken strips and fries ( niggas was hungry ). i cut some potatoes and fried them muhfuckas. But i cut the chicken breast into strips and dip them in lemon pepper fish batter. GOTDAMN SHIT FUCK that shit was good……… so good… i blacked OUT… but tha gutty part is… Syl ass blacked out too. She was on her computer and i was watchin monday night football. Neither one of us was tired or anything. but after we had that shit we blacked the hell out.

so the name for tha chicken is ” the sleepy chicken ” now ( yes.. everything and damn near everybody has a name ) .

So i black out and i have this dream that i was cooking again… i was cookin tha same shit infact… as a matter of fact… it was damn near a rerun of what i had just did about 20 min previous. But this was a lil different. After i made my plate, i turned to tha fridge to get some ranch and bbq sauce and when i turned back around,  son of a muthafuckin bitch! the Ryde or Die ants have taken OVER my damn plate! these muthafuckas was crawlin all through my fries n shit and carring off my fuckin chicken!! i was so pissed off i didnt know what to do. i woke up with hurt ass feelings. my heart was broke… till i rubbed on my stomach and remembered i was still full from earlier.

thumbs up!

but fuck the Ride or Die Ants still… muthafuckas….


i have decided to give my remote a name.

the remote control to my tv will now be refered to as “The Great Remotedini”

because i can never find tha muthafucka…

usually i have to take hostages for tha muhfucka to show its self!

sometime i even have to kill two hostages…

my remote is on some janky shit.

fuckin shit…


and speaking of prejudice.

im racist too…

not against nobody in particular…

everybody sucks lol

and ill say some pretty racist shit…

but id like to point out…

that it doesnt have shit to do with anything that has happen recently…

ive always been a racist lol

im liable to say some fucked up shit… about any one race… at any given time…

including tha one i belong to.

so what…

fymf…..


ay yall….

my best friend is prejudice against ugly people.

foreal… i am in no way bullshiting.

You might even see her post some shit about her not being prejudice against ugly people.

but tha fact of tha matter is…. it took her a hour and a half for her to think of one ugly friend she has.

damn near none of her friends are ugly. and if they are ugly… more than likely she was cool wit them before she saw how they looked. or they bonded under some kind of circumstance. ( like they hated their boss or some shit )

you be the judge.

now… im prejudice… ill admit that shit.

i dont like no muthafuckin body. i dont care who you are.

but i can admit to it.

lol its been a couple hours since i pointed that shit out and she is still denyin it.

terrible


i usually dont do this….

but i would like to give a quick shout out to tha guy that figured it would be a swell idea to get two peices of bread… and put some jelly and peanut butter inbetween them.

tha inventor of pbj should have won tha nobel peace prize.

also… i wanna give a shout out to tha guy who came with tha french fry… he’s tha shit too…

and tha dude who thought to squeeze tha juice of tha orange… put it into a glass… and drink it… man!

these three people should have pictures of them hung up in every house hold…

dont let me get my hands on any… cuz they will be up in mine lol


as i walk around… i notice shit…

and one of the things ive been noticing lately is that niggas ( dudes ) are wearing alot of accessories these days.

headbands, wristbands, bracelets, bandaids where they have no scares ( had to ask this nigga sittin next to me in class… dude was like… aww nothin i just put it on ), reciver gloves.. niggas dont play football or have any intentions on doin so , and just all kinda extra shit to put on.

you know… like little girls…. how little girls try to wear everything they have n shit? a ganga braclets and necklaces… and anything that will fit on they body. for what purpose? i have no clue. but they do tha shit like its tha thing to do. so do niggas these days.

and im really wonderin what tha fuck is goin on… niggas even be wearin FAKE ASS chains… that shit is terrible… everybody can see that shit is di-cast metal…. You not even impressin tha next nigga wit tha same shit on. Niggas chains be heavy as fuck… like they used to tie the bike to tha rack wit that same shit in jr high… but they took some polish to tha shit now they rock it. i mean damn. but to make tha murder complete ( as in to just kill tha whole shit ) they have crosses on… and DO NOT go to church at all. niggas dont even really be christain… but no… homie… why is your cross so light? is it PLASTIC??!?! hold up… those arent diamonds!!! you dont set diamonds in fuckin plastic! or even if that bullshit is di-cast metal… you dont do that shit. man… those are rhine stones man!

lol what really be goin thru niggas minds? EVERYBODY knows your whole bling set came from tha back of the source.. and you didnt spend more than 30 bucks for tha shit lol

wheres tha effort? damn!

niggas be on some shit….

if jay z came out on his next video wearin a dress.. im confident that at least 2 months afterwards… muhfuckas would have already spent they whole check on a oscar de la renta… or just be like fuck it and wait for tha swapmeet to make a knockoff version.

muhfuckas just fuckin suck these days.


ojism’s:

You can insert tha word “beyatch” in ANY song and it will damn near fit in there like its a snoop remix.

if you dont believe me… call me and start singin a song and ill do that shit for you lol.


man…

i dont know…

call me what you want to lol

but i just remembered somethin…

i have a uncle…

nigga is a recovering crack head… currently doing everything else except crack.. i think… i dont know… nigga just look it… fuck it… i know he on somethin… i just cant prove it…

ANYWAY…

when me and my cousin used to kick it at tha house back in tha fo ( fontana ) and he would come over for various reasons…. and i dont know lol… ill admit to it… im kinda mean, fucked up, asshole, whatever… but he used to walk in tha house and come in tha office ( that was tha kick it spot ) and be like hey fellas whas goin on… we’d say nothin or whatever… and he would be on his way… lol as he would be on his way out… this one time i started singin grand master flash legendary hit…. White lines… well… tha first time i did that shit my cousin jd damn near sufficated from laughin hella hard. damn that shit was funny… everytime we saw that nigga we would start singin white lines. and that shit was never not funny.

but if you think IM fucked up for that shit…

about 3 weeks ago… my sister had a party… all tha homies was there… and this nigga shows up HELLA LATE with his white crack whore girlfriend… like at 2 am n shit… wit they HIGH BEAMS on….

so we sittin there… and ive seen ol girl he was with before… but tha homies hadnt…

they hit tha corner… and everybody just kinda turned around……. and was like… oooooh…. hi….. ……. ….. long ass pause… everybody said whasup or whatever… soon as they left out tha room… niggas turned to me like… DAMN! what tha fuck was that??? lol i was like… nigga i dont know… she kinda look like a raven to me. after we stoped laughin about that… i dont know who said it… but one of tha other homies said… ( mind you niggas was hella not sober ) nigga… she look like that flyin dogg from the never ending story!! you know tha one with no legs and arms nigga?!?!

Gotdammit that shit was funny… i almost lost my damn mind…what made it even funnier is that nigga said that dogs had arms… wwoooo shit.

All my close friends say some super foul shit

we all gonna be in hell talkin shit to everybody about everybody… tryin to talk tha devil into turnin on tha AC lol

— im crooked like sticky eye……. — redman.


*this just in*

all previous reports that fabolus was the new mase were false.

The Mase of the new millenium is NELLY

wack bastard.

i am convienced that mase was a slow muthafucka

NOTE: “slow” is tha nigga code word for “retarded”

that nigga just wasnt there all tha time. he couldnt have been to be on tha shit he was on lol.

And nelly aint NOOOO gotdamn better. he is on tha same shit.

if you are a nelly fan… and your offended… GOOD! you suck too gotdammit… for likin that slow muthafucka and his wack rhymes.

and if you want to admit to me that nelly is one of your favorite rappers then i want you to know that i think less of you as a person. And you are a wack person just like him… jive ass turkies. Let me prove to you that this nigga is a wack bastard. in tha jagged edge song that nigga said ” i want a rose / not tha one wit tha stems / the one with tha rims ” dumb fuck… umm do you mean ROLLS?!?!?!?! and is ROLLS ROYCE?!?!?!?! there is NO EXCUSE for that shit… not EVER. that nigga is just a gotdamn dummy…

Some guy on blackplanet pointed that shit out… and i couldnt believe that shit when he said it… i had to actually go download tha damn song just to see… and sho nuff… Nelly is speical kid class retarded… i know it…

muthafuckas makes sing alongs… wack bastard