Need to lose weight?

Need to lose weight?
are you a lazy muthafucka?

well click here and embrace (oops lol got it right now ) your salvation ( no bullshit )

all you internet people… doing half ass work outs and bullshit dieting… you know you wanna click that shit. this shit here is the answer for all the big girls chattin online LYING to muthafuckas talkin about “im thick!” when you are really, relentlessly punishing the chair you are sittin your fat ass in lying to some dumb ass dude who dont know any better.

basiclly… its just no sugar… no carbs…. but you can eat anything else… protien protien protien…. meat meat meat… dairy all that good shit. you can even eat bacon. most fruits and veggies… all that good shit… just no bread lol and youre good to go.

but… be warned… for the first couple days… you will have no energy… but who cares? you are a lazy muhfucka right? sittin on yo ass and eating is what you do! it goes down!
if i was fat… id be all over this shit! if i was slightly over weight… id be all over this shit.
also be warned… if youre gonna do this shit… and you are a pork or a beef eater… dont work out at all lol…. or you will fuck around and have a heart attack lol. this muhfucka at costco told me he lost 50 MUTHAFUCKIN pounds in 7 damn months! i am a believer lol…. i know people on this shit and seen them lose weight in the first week… and still goin.

aint nothin to it but to do it!

no carbs!

your body burns carbs for energy… when there are no carbs… your body burns the next avaliable thing… FAT!
the weight (fat) melts away… its damn near magic. amazing to say the least… do you chair a favor… do your stelletos a favor… have mercy on that button on your favorite tight fitting jeans… do the suspension in your fucking car a gotdamn favor… yes… its a 2000 pound machine… but it was only meant to carry so much on one gotdamn side… gotdamn!

click the link!

now… if there was a diet for ugly… id feel alot better about clicking on random links to peoples blogger with they picture on the side. lookin like thier nick name should be “Oh No!” muhfuckas be ugly as possible… and big… gotdamn… i guess if you gonna fuck up… fuck up all the way. huh? shit… its already bad enough muhfuckas be typing about a whole buncha nottagotdamnthing. on some… ” oh… its so hard to find a good man ” shit… bitch! did you forget that this morning the mirror turned its back on your uncomfortablely ugly ass? of course its hard to find a good man, who is gonna put up with your ugly ass, with your ugly ass issues, and your ugly ass ways. ugly girls need to face the fact that they are ugly… and start learning how to give good head… and take a culanary class or two ( NO CARBS FOR YOU THO! of course lol lets not blow it lol ). thats the only way a ugly girl is gonna keep any type of nigga in her life, even for a little while ( which is better than nothing right? lol )… even another ugly ass nigga. dudes can get away with being ugly ( sometimes… tyrone hill has nba money behind him, i dout that nigga has groupies… honestly ) … a girl? pshhh you just fucked in the game lol unless you ohprah… and not all the way ugly… and got a hot billion ass dollars and a staff of stylist to back you up. but take somebody like…… joan rivers… that muhfucka there been ugly since ugly was ugly was ugly. and she is only getting old and worse… plastic surgery as only kept her from looking like the cript keeper… she still ugly… its sad when your ugly can shine thru thousands of dollars of surgery! or ellen degenerious… SHIT! or that mimi muhfucka from drew carey. i think the only muhfucka uglier than her is the fucking devil him self.

im sorry… i didnt mean to start talkin about ugly people.

this post was orginally meant to help those that was in the not know ( and killing chairs ) rather you just wanna lose a few pounds… or a lotta pounds ( equivlant of the avarage weight of a big 3rd grader lol ) …. this is the best way ive seen thus far. plain and simple.

im only hear to help ( kinda more like point in the right direction ) and talk shit ( mostly lol )

and yes… i know ” oj, youre SO fucked up ”
ive been hearing it all day

17 Responses to “Need to lose weight?”

  1. you said a nigga be lookin like they name should be “OH NO!” i’m about to die!!!! OJ what the heck is wrong with you????

    mirror turned its back on you??? i can’t take this madness anymore. you’re retarded. what do you be smokin’????

  2. OJ this shit here nigga..LMAO!!!….what I want to know is what started all of this….I feel like the reporter at the beginning of Bomb First….LMAO….dude that was Pac-esque….

    Anyway nigga the diet I’m on is basically an atkins diet….no carbs is hard….niggas say, “No bread” but also you can’t drink ANY soda or juice or sweet tea….you gotta basically drink diet soda, crystal light, or water/tea with equal or splenda or some shit….no beans…..no fucking Taco Bell (although my fiendish ass did get me 4 soft taco supremes and ate them bitches without the shells!)….

    anyway nigga this is a CLASSIC post….

    I might have to plug this shit before my next entry!

  3. woooo, lawd! *wipes tears from eyes* looks like their nickname should be “Oh NO!” …. woooo…. you are a damn fool!

    I couldn’t do the atkins even if I wanted to… a nigga like me NEEDS bread, potatoes, rice, and various other shit that’s banned… although I could get used to just meat and cheese over time, lol

  4. LOL…this is really fucked….
    i know i dont know you like that, but…i could’ve sworn i read about you decapitating a chair your-damn-self about a week ago…..

  5. the chair incident… if you read…. i was dancing with the chair and i was too much man for it ( not weight wise…… )… and it folded under presure. plus i was drunk… im 6’6” 230… it could only handle so much.

  6. like, i keep coming back to read this and it only gets funnier each time! can you add this to the personal favorites? this is ALMOST as funny as the OJ at Church Series!

  7. com-o-fuckin-dee.
    nigga, you need yo’ own show. where do you come up with this shit. “did you forget that this morning the mirror turned its back on your uncomfortablely ugly ass?”, that shit needs to be written in the book of quotes. have hella fat-people quotes on dormats & shit.
    stright comedy.

  8. You made my day with this post. It was just so dam funny. I feel the same way. I linked you on my web site do now worry about linking back i could care less this is just one of the best blogs I have seen on the net in a long time

    You just say what you want and don’t worry about anything. I love people like you man.

  9. You made my day with this post. It was just so dam funny. I feel the same way. I linked you on my web site do now worry about linking back i could care less this is just one of the best blogs I have seen on the net in a long time

    You just say what you want and don’t worry about anything. I love people like you man.

  10. I am not really sure what your name is…But my brotha you are funny as shit. And I can tell that you are hella(yeah I said hella) intellectual. There is a big chance that I spelled that wrong, but hey I am a product of a institutitionalized institution.. Ya dig? Moving on. What state do ya live in?
    Holla back.
    Thinking bout choo-
    Lady J

  11. LMAOOOOOO @ u gettin off subject talkin bout ulgy people. Your just a few smiles short of a happy meal hun. LOLOL tomorrows sunday….ill pray for u. rofl Stay real. muah

  12. LMAO.. period thats all i gots ta say but shoot im bout to tell yall bout my diet… ANOREXIA!! yes folks when you weigh 135 lbs and you are 5″6 and you think your fat and you dont want to exercise eat vey little reduce your diet from 2000 calories to oh about 400 yall sitten her goin she kra-z but foreel it works like a charm yall dont blee me? iight go to anorexicaddict.com.. yeah