Uhmah Park

( In the honor of a successful and reminiscent ThrowBack Slang Weekend …. lol whos gonna get this joke? )

But clearly, its not illegal to drive if youre def. How is this?

How did i find out that def people can drive? No, I havent made any friends that are hard of hearing lately. But recently, quiznos started to take delivery orders. With me being the big ol quiznos fan that i am. I immediately jumped on the option, because for whatever reason today, i didnt feel like leaving the fuckin house.

I call… order a honey mustard chicken or whatever… i requested more than three times…. No Swine Please. I guess everybody wanted to jump on this new Quiznos delivery because the lady on the phone told me 40 muthafuckin minutes to delivery… i was like fuck! A nigga was hungry, and 40 min wasnt gone cut it. Of course she told me all this after i gave her my payment information. Although i cant say if i would have canceled the order, because honestly it would have taken me 40 min to get offa my ass… get dressed… lolly gag on leaving… get there and come back. So fuck it, a nigga waited.

40 muthafuckin minutes later… damn near on the dot, my door bell rings, and there is a white guy standing there with my food and a receipt, im lookin at the receipt trying to see if these niggas over charged me. Im not paying too much attention to the deliverer dude. But im asking this man if he has a pen, and i start looking around for one. And i notice this nigga hasnt responded. I look up and im like… Yo? you got a pen or somethin? And just when im about to look at this muthafucka like nigga you aint hear me the first few times?
And he hands me a pen and says "UMH MFH MDEF".
Huh? I looked at him all puzzeled. What the delivery guy was trying to tell me was, that the delivery guy was def…. to my absolute muthafuckin surprise. Because I know its illegal to drive with headphones on… but gotdamn. You can drive if youre def. I did not know that shit. That was like my first fuckin thought. How this nigga get a job? DRIVING? This is not what i was expecting! AT ALL!
Some one reading this is probably saying to themselves. Well maybe he fooled the people at quiznos, and they dont know he def. Like why would somebody hire a def delivery boy? ( youre fuckin stupid if you even tried to think that was a possibility by the way. )
Well… ol boy had the def accent, so there was no hiding the fact that he was def. So there goes that.

Now im not saying that def people are no good to society or anything like that. I just didnt know they could legally have a drivers license is all.Surprise Surprise.
Imagine my frustration when the next time im on the road, and im having one of those road rage sessions that at least half the population has. Cussin somebody out thru my window… and i feel like there is a possibility that this muthafucka is def and can not hear shit im saying, because he is too muthafuckin far from me… to read my fucking lips. Gotdammit.
I think it might be best for that nigga to respond to some foul shit i say. I cant imagine the measures id take if im honking my horn at some non-driving son of a  bitch, and the muhfucka cant fuckin hear me. Shit id be angry lol. Muhfucka just wont move and i feel like im being flagrantly ignored.
Fuck that lol.

Anyway… lets hope for our sake that def people are excellent drivers! …. some how lol? shit i cant imagine how this could be… unless like def people can use the force or some shit lol. sense danger… sonar, nigga something… fuckin spidey senses out this bitch. i dont know. but lets hope that gives them some kinda edge on the road that makes up for there lack of hearing capabilities.

You know what?!?!?! that makes me wonder if Def people get fuckin handy cap darking? Is being def not a disability?!?! it is dammit! but i really do wonder, if def people get handy cap parking! like… if they dont… it would be hard for me to understand why.
Lets say some def person is walking to thier car n shit. And, an old person…. Old people another group of people who should be excellent drivers, considering all the fuckin experience they should fucking have by now. Is in that same parking lot, and fucks around and runs the def person over…
Now… you would think that a def person… would feel the vibrations or something of the car and dive the fuck out of the way. You know what they say… when you lose one sense, the others step up. Well, id think that would be true also, if it wasnt for this poor girl HERE… she couldnt feel a big ass muthafuckin train comin. Aint no way some poor def bastard is gonna feel a measly 5 ton car comin ( you know old people drive huge cars for the most part ). Road Kill. Another traggic death So, if they get to park close. Less chance of injury. Actually, maybe not… because def people park in the handy cap parts too lol.
This is fuckin with me tho… i need to know if def people get handy cap parking or not. I think they should. Might as well lol.

Anyway, i wasnt finished iwth my story. So the def guy… tells me he is def, and automaticlly, i felt like i needed to give him a tip. Now i wasnt gonna give him a tip because there was an extra $1.50 added on for delivery. ( aint that about a bitch? ) But since the nigga was def n shit. And i ALMOST kinda felt like he was telling me VERY conviently, to get a tip. Its cool tho, that shit worked, because i gave the man two bucks tip.

How, anybody that fucks with Quiznos, knows its kinda pricey. But the shits worth it. I get my sandwish, and the shit is soggy, like its been posted up for 40 muthafuckin minutes! I look at my carrot cake… and it too looks like it has been riding in some def guy car for 40 muthafuckin minites. PASSED luke warm / slightly refrigerated n shit. Sandwish barely warm and getting cold… soggy as fuck. But im like fuck it… its gonna be good anyway. Which it was… But i couldnt help but feel like there was something extra going on. Some thing that i once knew, but it couldnt be. Do i taste BACON?!?!?!? naw naw… couldnt be. i SPECIFICLY TOLD THE LADY… no muthafuckin bacon. But i guess it feel on def ears ( ha! ) because it look TASTE like somebody put bacon on my shit… realized they fucked up. And took the shit off. But FORGOT SOME!!! Fucking shit… Ill tell you what… i even opened both sandwishes, i didnt see no stripes of swine, so i figured…. everythings cool! Little did i know. somebody fucked up… Then, i was fucked up…. stomach started crip walkin n shit. A nigga got dizzy slightly. I had to lay it down for a min, just to feel better. And im certain there was bacon, because i picked some out of my teeth. It was meat and it wasnt fuckin chicken! 



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