Uhmah Park

This my rub a couple people the wrong way. ( but who fucking cares? )

But is it just me… or have you ever been taking a shit…

and caught your self making a face?

and thought to your self… why am i making faces while im tryin to take this shit?

and if you do make faces while you are shitting…


is it gonna help all that shit ( no pun intended ) come out any faster?

i mean… your face muscles are on your head… this isnt helping the cause any, as far as i know.

and if you make one of those faces that invole the pulsating of your neck… im pretty sure this isnt gonna do anything but take away energy from where it needs to be applied.

and another thing….

would you make that face if somebody was watching you?

or like a crowd….

do you think they would admire your concentration (sp) or wonder why you were making faces while you were taking a shit…

like if public bath room stalls didnt have walls ( dont front… everybody has taken a shit in a public restroom ) and it was just a couple toilets and you go in… and sit down ( wit tha proper ass/cooty protection rituals of course ) and your trying to shit right… and somebody comes in…. and i guess they would wave or say whasup or at least acknowledge your presence… i mean hey… even though most bathroom stalls do have lil walls… that dont stop tha fuckin smell! anyway… so they nod or whatever…. and you are sittin there having a difficult time shitting……………

WOULD you make that face then? would you wait till they turn their back?? would you wait till they leave so you dont get caught?

what if you are sitting next to somebody who is takin a shit also ( no walls still ) would you peek over to see if they were making a face? or would you consentrate on tryin not to make your face?

or maybe its just me… and im retarded for even thinkin about this shit… but i couldnt help but wonder because…….. damn….. i caught my self makin a face while i was taking a shit earlier… noooo… not because it was hella repugnent in that muthafuckin bathroom… but because tha shit ( no pun intended ) didnt wanna flow naturally… so i had to focus… and flex muscles i can only flex in this sorta situation to do go a head and make my deposits. and i stoped… and said to my self… damn… did i just make a face? And i wondered why i did it… and if it was normal… but i suppose it could be because, hey…. im not tha only muthafucka that strains to take a shit…. everybody gets backed up sometime… some more than others ( i.e. the big ass sigh of relief you hear when everybody is watchin tv and tha homie disappeared for a second and all of a sudden over the TV you hear a loud ass… AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH….damn!! or when somebody ate somethin fucked up and they are walkin around excreting the most horrific oders ever delt by a human being that wasnt dead… holdin they stomach n shit… talkin about… ahhh nigga… my stomach is fucked up… you can bet that muhfucka is gonna have a hard time on tha thrown homie… ). so i came to the conclusion that i wasnt the only muhfucka to make a face while they shit. But i still wonder why the face is actually made when it dont help shit ( no pun intended lol ) nor does it relay any sign or signal to anybody else that you struggling with something and you need some assistance… because nobody is watchin yo stankin ass. you know how a person having a hard time moving some shit will always make that bunched up face when they see somebody walking by… signaling they need help.

Again… going back to the stalls with no walls…

if you are minding your business, taking your shit, not having a hard time… but you cant help but notice the guy on the other toilet is straining and making all kinda faces… would you help him? would you give him pointers? or lets say that guy was you! would you make that fucked up face… and expect help? like bunch up your face and look over like….. damn man?? cant you see that im strugglin over here? can i get some fuckin help! some pointers?? you havin a easy time over there… what tha fuck? share your secerts… you know?

but really…i mean damn really tho…. no body is comming to your rescue man, why are you making faces? well… maybe if you make enough noise moaning and groning… and making effort noises ( lol ) somebody might come knock on the door and ask you if you are OK… or offer some words of encoragement ( i.e.- hey! are you alright in there? it might help if you push down on your stomach! or… hey… hold your breath! that always works for me!! ) or in my case… say/do the most fucked up thing you can think of… such as slide matches under the door…. or pick the lock and crack the door to throw off their consentration… or stuff a towel under the door and bang on that shit and say… HEY!!!! THA SMELL IS SEEPING OUT!!! WHAT IN THA FUCK DID YOU EAT?? or something along those lines lol ( its a little known fact that laughter makes you shit faster- learn something new every day huh? )

i dont know… maybe it just really is me tho….

– see… this is tha kinda shit me and my friends sit around and talk about all the time lol. over half of the shit that happens to me or “thoerys” or stories or dialougs that have gone down i dont even report. because its too much gutty shit… alotta times i just forget till somebody brings that shit up lol or either wouldnt nobody get the joke.