Uhmah Park

Last Friday was pretty fun.

The homie Drew invited me out to one of his homegirls birthday parties over at the lucky strike ( its a bowling alley ) in hollywood. it was basically me drew and two of the other homies… Deardis and Jesus… and like 10 attractive ladies, including the birthday girl… Danielle.

and apparently… this man drew sends out the url to this lil peice of internet to his friends to laugh at ( if i so happen to write something gutty ). lol. so… im sittin up there shooting the shit… getting my mingle on. and Danielle ask me, ” are you the ashy back guy? ”

man… this nigga drew has turned me into some kinda … i dont know what the fuck lol. everytime i meet somebody this nigga knows… they are like OH! youre that one guy!
im either the guy with the site… or the guy who wrote about church ( or some other shit )… or the guy who made the loochie ice song ( ill have to explain another time, for people who are wondering what the fuck im talkin about lol ) this last new years eve, im over this nigga house at a party and some girl is like OH!! ITS THE PINK PANTHER!!! ( this nigga calls me the pink panther ) THINK PINK!!! shit was the guts. its always the guts. so… i had to explain to her and a couple of her friends… how a girl could possibly have an ashy ass back. lol. we all had a nice laugh. i also had to point out some girl in there that fuckin had a hump back. YES! a hump back. i couldnt believe that shit. i had to go in for a closer look…. drew thought it was halarious lol. i had other jokes… but we’ll get into that later lol.

So yea… we were at the bowling alley… in hollywood. and well… to give you and idea of the atmosphere… there were a couple hundred people there.. and there were two groups of Black people in the place. about 15+ each. including the one i was apart of. the rest of the people in there? well lets just say they had a pinkish like tent to them ( the majority of them at least ). lol. and apparently it was rock n bowl night… and they were playing… well… rock n bowl music. lol. but none the less… us Black people usually find a way to groove to anything! and GROOVE we did… after while they started to mix in songs with a lil bit more “flava” to them. prompting a dance off… cosby show like ( dare i say ) CHALLLLEENNNGGEEE!!! style ( who remembers that shit? ). but yea… Deardis and I went at it. i dont know who won… but we definitly had fun and showed our asses… all damn night… damn near everybody in the group did. it was hella fun. We was all groovin for most of the night… even when we was at the counter paying our tab lol. turned the lil area in front of the shoe check out into a make shift dance floor. lol
at the end of the night i couldnt help but feel that we had maybe fucked everything up for any other large number of Black people that hoped to patron the lucky strike in hopes of a good time. we had too much damn fun lol.

in the midst of our fun however… i was peepin out a female in the next lane… who had more ass than she was really suppose to have. i just had to look. and look… and look some more. imma Black Man. i love ass by defualt. i cant help it. but… while i was caught up in the roundness of this girls booty. she walked passed some Black dude… who had on the smallest shirt possible, along with the smallest jeans possible. now i had saw this muthafucka earlier. but there wasnt an immedate joke really other than the extra medium i love la shirt he was sportin. but yea… so ok… his shirt was extra little. and his pants were as close to skin tight as you can get with being able to fit a wallet in your pocket possibly. these shits was little as fuck. his shirt and pants met at thier respective borders…. meaning… if he… lets say… lifted up his arms in celerbration… he would be showing everybody in the bowling alley his abdoman and everything else. but thats not what it was… this nigga was sitting on the arm of a chair… bent over… and showed everybody on the left of his lane… his fucking ass crack… how? because he clearly had on NO DRAWS!!!! i fuckin guess them lil ass jeans he had on didnt leave enough room for fucking underwear!! man fuck… i was so pissed!!! gotdamn shit fuck man… i caught a EYE full trying to follow this girls ass to the bowling ball thing. dammit! … i swear this niggas ass crack waved at me lol. like ha ha nigga lookitme!!! i got, got something cold. but? ( ha ha lol ) was i gonna suffer alone? by myself? FUCK THAT! FUCK NO! i pointed that shit out to anybody that would hear me out. and they was all pissed off like i was! fuck that. i wasnt goin down by my self. fuck that. niggas was mad at me tho… lol. oh well… it was a nice laugh anyway.

So the bowling alley was hella fun… however i told the homie i would attend some other event that night. a sports bar… there was suppose to be strippers or some shit like that. fuck it… it goes down! lol ( dudes night out! lol ) but bowling ran kinda late… we called it a night around one. i tried to call my friends that was at the event. but none of them muthafucks wanted to pick up they damn phone. so i was like fuck it. started to head home. but on the way home… the called me back, because they was leaving. they said the event was kinda wack… and i didnt miss shit. Dah Well! however… they was goin back to the apt. to drink. So i shifted my route a bit to go back to my old apts. ( where all the friends i have in the valley stay at damn near lol ). i get there… and im trying to get somebody to let me in the building, because the buzz a nigga in thing aint workin. and some how i beat them fools there. so im outside on the phone trying to find out how long imma be posted outside… and a car full of Black females pull up… but dont park. they just kinda stoped in the middle of the street. and im thinking to my self… i wonder what they want? ( honestly… i thought i was about to hear “hey whats your naaaame?” lol ) i see the door crack open and this girl leaned her head over to the side and gave it up everything that was in her stomach!!!
im still on the phone, talkin to the homie like yoooo some girl just gave it up right in front of the buildin dogg!!! lol. i guess the girl drivin thought she was done… the door closed and they was about to pull off. and the car stoped again. she wasnt done lol. she was throwin up all kinda yellow shit. im on the phone conversatin n shit… i mozzy my black ass over to where ol girl is givin up her guts… her friend is up there with tissue n shit… trying to help her out. and here go OJ… walked up… got kinda close… and she was about to look up at me… but, she threw up again… and i say to them “Damn…… kinda look like pinnapple…”
i guess everybody in the car thought it was funny lol. so did ol girl… she was a good sport about it. lol i countinued on “damn… i hope it was worth it babygirl lol that shit look serious!” she looked up and smiled at me with regeritation drippin offa her lip and said “SHO WAS! i had fun… i enjoyed my self!!”
“it look like it… ” i told her lol.
then i got a wiff of the shit she was givin up…
that shit was stankin. i had to back up a lil bit. i damn near gave it up my self… that shit stunk lol. i hope she wasnt talkin in the car… i know her shit was stankin lol. i know they had to smell that shit tho… you know when a muthafucka throw up… they be breathin out they mouth buckwild… ahhh ahhh imma die! or some shit like that lol.
thats two weekends in a row, where i done sat thru a muhfucka throwin up in front of me. first my sister… and now some random girl. lol

and this concludes the highlights of my friday night.

I love to go out and be in the public… be social and merry ( its a celerbration! enjoy your selves! ) meet new people. mingle and all that other good shit. especially if i have some achole in my system. its great!
However… i HATE getting to know new people. actually… im really only talking about “getting to know a girl better” that shit sucks. i hate talking on the fuckin phone. and i dont date. i hate going out on dates… i swear. with a girl i know already. it aint so bad. but some new girl who im trying to feel out and see if i wanna be involed with? shit blows! i swear i hate it. i dont know how to fix this. but that shit really does stop me from “getting numbers” and “gettin at” a female. when i go out… i talk to females all night long. and come back with NO numbers… because i dont ask… because i dont want them shits lol. i actually have a thing where, when i go out… i dont go out collecting numbers… because if a girl give her number to me… she will give her number to the next nigga. fuck that, fuck it. it aint that serious. usually when i meet a new girl… its on accident some how some way. there are always different situations and what not. id honestly rather meet a girl at a small social function ( MAYBE! ) or while she at work or some shit… or fuck, at a store or somethin… i dont know. not at a club or a bar or a party. fuck that.
i dont know… maybe its just too much of a gamble for me. sitting thru the whole get to know her better process. and she turns out to be on some bullshit some how some way. or she does some shit i cant deal with… or REFUSE to deal with. after i done sat on the phone and listened to her ass babble on about a buncha retarded shit. i hate to waste my time. and i hate to gamble on wasting my time. if i might gamble on wasting my time… it has to be because im fuckin bored… or i have to be intriged some how some way ( making it then, not a waste of my time of course ).

anyway. i got shit to do. and please pardon my many chappelle show refrences lol.
that shit is one of the best things goin right now. chappelle show… laker games and the sapranos…. and sportscenter, naturally.


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