I can make a bugar talk!!

i bet nobody remembers what that line is from ( ” i can make a bugar talk!! ” )
lol

anyway… tonite… i was upstairs kickin it with the homies… and we got blowed
*welcome to blowed park*
yes thats right… i am higher than Gas Prices ( joke via RJ )

anyway…. out of no where… the homies girl friend blurted out… ” I Wanna take a IQ test!! ” ……. ?? where the fuck did that shit there come from?! i guess it did not matter because not just her… but ALL of us where huddled around the computer taking this damn iq test… trying to reason out the answers amoungst each other… i really should have taped it lol. but during the course of the iq test… i figured i could too blurt out random shit…. it wasnt fair for just her to be able to do that shit…
so… at 3:30 in the morning… imma sit here and type out random ass statements untill i get sleepy lol:

… i used to fuck with bulwinkle auntie!

… i lowered my cholestorol!!

… i used to do cart wheels on the freeway!!

… yesterday i saw 5 roaches moon walking in the garage

… bruce willis be doin the robot…

… ya mamma is a peanut gatherer!

… i smell a hungrian battle chicken!! ( inside joke )

… shop smart… PAYLESS!

… coolio does my taxes!!!

… dont stop get it get it!!!

… i seen kareem abdul jabar poplockin outside my apartments

… your grandma can gargle peanut butter!

… you smell like cherrios and gasoline

… midgets have other midget friends…. time out… i actually seen this shit the other day when i was on ivar and hollywood blvd… they was outside of club ivar… trying to get in… and they was wavin thier other midget friend to hurry up so they can all walk in at the same time… it was like 5 of em. the 5th one… ran ( waddled up ) and they just strolled in… i didnt know how to really process that. i mean… who thinks about midgets… or dwafs…. which is what they RATHER be called. but damn. i had to think about that shit… like… i have all kinds of friends… tall friends… fat friends… skinny friends… short friends… etc… you know where im going with this! I HAVE NO MIDGET FRIENDS!! and i cant really even think of nobody that even HAS midget friends. How would you handle a midget that was really making an effort to be your homie?? what if this person… is a great person? would you reject them because of thier hieght challengedness ( is that at word ) or would you look pass that? fuck… it aint like you aint gonna notice. and youre GONNA take into consideration, that you would be the ONLY person YOU know that hangs out with midgets. do midgets get pains in thier neck from looking up all the time? and you would think over time… thier necks wouldnt be so ……… unthere…… if they had to look up so often? can you be a loser and be a midget?? why are thier only like 4 midgets in hollywood? what would you do if you saw two midgets fucking in the park? that has to be a site to see. do midgets get offended at short jokes… that wasnt really meant that way? such ass… guess she came up short! or… he got the short in of the stick… or we only have a short amount of time ( if youre waiting on a midget ). i think imma have to meet me a midget… and like… ask them about these things.
i also need to meet a asian that isnt so offended at SARS jokes… so i can ask them how they really feel with out nobody gettin pissed lol the other day i saw a tshirt that said ” Why the unease when i sneeze ” i damn near lost it… after that it had a tv in the middle of the shit and on the bottom it said ” dont be a dumb ass! ” lol come on now… i understand not being a racist asshole… but fuck… who wants to chance catching clymidia of the lungs?!?!?! and was i fucked up for rolling thru korea town with my windows up on a hot day? what if you a midget with sars?? hm? a asiain midget? lol i hate to pick on asians like this… but ive never seen a asian midget… i know alot of asiain people… and not too many of them are hittin over 5’6”… but still… ive only seen black and white midgets…. ive never seen like an arab midget or some shit. would you get on a plan with a arab midget? or would you just really single him out to be up to something??? hmm… if you was white… would you cross the street if you saw a group of young black midgets mean mugging you?? if a midget pulled a gun on you ( which might happen to my black ass if i keep talkin shit ) would you laugh and risk getting shot? or would you be scared and take them seriously???
i dont know… fuck it… anyway…

… last week i fought cobra commander!

… i saw ronald mc donald eatin at bean burritos at taco bell.

… if you freeze hotsause… you will have one HOT ASS popcycle…

fuck it im done… my head hurts… and this whole “awake, not be sleep” thing is fuckin with me

14 Responses to “I can make a bugar talk!!”

  1. OJ, I really don’t understand how you come up with some of this shit!! LOL!! Especially @ “and you would think over time… thier necks wouldnt be so ……… unthere” UNTHERE, OJ??? LOL…

  2. Nigga… that was Pops… what the fuck is his name… The daddy from Friday… WHAT IS HIS NAME???
    “I can Make a Booger Talk”… shit!

    Anyway, no more blowed typing from you.. I”m issuing your ass a BWI citation and if you do this shit again, I’ma start keeping tally of all the ass whoopins you’re owed for when you come down to homecoming… you’ll figure out BWI one day 🙂

  3. didn’t i tell you to get away from the computer? what the fuck were you thinking? this cannot happen again. you knew you were high as a kite with no business on the internet. damnit, smith!

  4. Okay….let me come to set thing straight….

    “I can make a booger talk” was a line that David Alan Greir would say among other ones like “I Can squeeze a pimple with my buttcheek” on a skit on In Living Color….it was a skit about a NASTY ass restuarant with Kim Wayans and the girl who played the Cosby’s daughter on that wack ass CBS show with Doug E. Doug….Tommy Davidson was the cook in the back that misheard words….they would say something about Oprah and he’d be like, “Okra, pick it up!!!” and then hit a bell….

    That skit is a staple in my comedy/entertaining people routine….

  5. NIGGAH IS YOU CRAZY!!!!
    “I can Make a Booger Talk”… man that shit is still trully some gutty shit…. IN LIVIN COLOUR. the diner nigga tha DINER “MY BUNYUN GOTTA EYEBALL ON IT” LMAO

  6. My friend Xeodre told me about your site and it was too funny. I sat up till now, sleepy as all hell readin through everything on here. Ok so I have no life, anyway it was cool. LMAO

  7. Jakaricat1

    I like midgets. I hope to meet & befriend one someday. I only worry that I won’t know if I ACTUALLY like this person, or if it’s just cus they’re a midget. Hmmmm…. Remember Eddie Murphy – “…I almost fucked a midget…” ? Dat shit was funny. I’d fuck a midget, dat’s right – u heard me. Shit would be comical. Bounce her 4 foot ass around my apartment. Spin her around on my dick, like a squatty-assed top. Hey – how u know u don’t like i till you try it?? Hehe… I’m sick.