so i was in the store… got my shit… i was ready to leave.
headed to the door. some guy, trying to enter the store, gets to the door a step or two after i do. and as an act of decentcy and humanity, i hold the door open for said buddy, no big deal, happens millions of times a day right? right. he nods at me… “oh thanks” walks by… and fucking farts as he is walking by!!!!!!!!
what the fuck dogg?!?!
i didnt catch on at first… but the aroma quality in the immedate vicinity plumated like 80 points! and i stoped, all stunned and appauled like. with a look of bewilderment and disgust on my face, asking my self… did this nigga just fuckin fart?!?!!?
you asshole! how fucking rude!
what kinda muthafucka… rewards an act of simple kindness with that hot air pocket of crass assflatulance?!?! you dirty…. son of a…. bitch!!! dammit! i hope the muthafucka trips over his fucking shoelaces or someshit. the muthafucka could have at least held the shit, till he was in the store and caught somebody slippin after he vacated the isle or what have you. but not… this was a cold blooded, out in the open, blatant ass POOT-BY! this asshole had no reguard for me standing right there. right fucking there… just let one out. i cant help but feel like he did it on fucking purpose.
i used to actually hang out with some white people in college, in phoenix, who thought it was fuckin HALARIOUS to fart around other muthafuckas on purpose. Practically on them! and if the shit was loud… oh now thats where the REAL laughs were at.
muthafuckas would come sit by you and ask you a real question… like they really wanted to know. sit there for a second… you help them out. and they would just get up and leave your personal space with the most mordacious odors ever.
and me… not to be out done lol. i was just gonna get farted by and not let that shit ride. but at the same time. im not a kill joy and about to start drop kickin niggas for fartin by me. so of course my vengance was spitful and overly flagrant. im not going to get into some of the shit i did, but lets just say, it was foul lol.
i know in some enviornments holding open the door for another man “sends the wrong message” at least thats what i was told by my sisters xcon ass, career criminal ass boyfriend (i DO not like that nigga). this nigga was like… ah cuh, dont be holdin open the door for me, it sends the wrong message. know what im sayin?
and i just had to ask, naw… what kinda message might that send dogg?
this nigga went on to explain how that shit might imply that he was my bitch or some shit like that.
lol hell naw. nigga what?
THIS AINT JAIL! NIGGA THIS THE OUTSIDE!! aint no bars around this bitch. no guards!! no none of that!!
lol gotdamn… i dont like that nigga at all.
i understand im way bigger than you… and you wear my sisters clothes. but still lol.
sigh… niggas and flies. always on some shit!