Fuck Buying A Jetta!

I know im not the only one that has seen those new Jetta commercials… where an unspecified number of people, are in a volswagon jetta, and the people inside the car, are having a conversation. A some what interesting conversation, one that you start to pay attention to after a while. And no matter where your interest grab hold the conversation,  right when youre into it, a BIG ASS muthafuckin car comes out of no where and FUCKS the lil ass jetta up!

THAT SHIT IS UNERVING AS FUCK!!!!!

while i understand the point of the commercial, is to show how the saftey of the jetta. But i see that shit from a whole different angle. There aint no way in the fuck im getting in a Jetta, because every time ive seen on for the last month or so…. ITS GETTING HIT BY A BIG ASS CAR!!! As far as im concerned, it looks like to me, that Jettas tend to get hit by big ass cars. Maybe they dont see them little shits. Also, this commercial makes me feel like people who drive jettas cant drive, and tend to allow themselves to get the fuck knocked out they lil ass car by some big ass behemoth of plastic glass and metal traveling at a undesirable rate of speed if its gonna hit yo ass. Shit, as far as im concerned, 1 mph is too fast for something that weights over 2 tons to be hitting my Black ass! 20? 30? 50 mph? Aint gonna fuckin cut it! That shit is rediculious! And yes, i do feel like its possible to avoid getting blind sided by a car. IVE DONE IT! i almost got hit by a police car in pheonix, driving down the street just like that. Honestly, lucky for me he had on his lights and not his siren but still!
I guess for such a little ass car, it can take a lick. But i dont fuckin care man, that shit is still an unerving ass commercial.

Say, uh… Volswagon… STICK TO CRASH TEST DUMMIES!!!!  Ive seen like three of these commercials so far ( id look them up on you tube,  but fuck that, im lazy ). And every single time, the first time i see them, they fuck with me SO bad. I hate them shits!! Even when i see them again, you can never really tell when the hit is gonna come, it just make you nervious once you realize thats what your watching. Shit sucks lol

I think it makes me so nervious because I HATE to drive. Thats right, i can drive my ass off, but i hate it. Having a good sub woofer in my car does ease the pain lol but still. I hate driving, the only thing i hate more than driving, is being a passenger! Being a passenger sucks for me. Because i know some muthafuckas who CAN NOT DRIVE. For instance, my sister. My sister has fucked up at least 3 cars. One of them shits, we used to call the Battle Tank, it was an old ass 84 pontiac Boniville. This shit here was fuckin shit up. She knocked down a mini brick wall that was the divider between our house and the neighbor house. MURKED the poor mail box! But my sister car? not a muthafuckin scratch, i couldnt believe it! She didnt want to fess up to that shit either, i had to use my powerful deduction methods to figure that shit out. Because looking at her car, you couldnt tell. Unless you got RIGHT up on it, there was fuckin brick dust in the groovs of her shit, thats the only way i noticed! That shit was the guts.
There is a spot in Rialto CA, i can take you too RIGHT NOW! On Cedar, north or south of San Bernardino ( i cant remember which one, im blowed right now ), like two or three streets up or down. There is a big ass CHUNK of the side walk missing. My sister did that. Shits still there, or it was the last time i passed it, over 5 years later. I KNOW she drove that shit through somebodies front door to help the police in a raid or something. The car could have took that shit. My sister used to drive that shit like she was trying to bust through the gates of hell and do a drive by.
Driving with my sister is some of the worst shit ever. People think im bad. But niggas who can drive, know i aint hitting SHIT. Niggas that have known me for a long time, have seen me do, or was in the car when ive done out outragious shit behind the wheel. But my sister tho… has totaled TWO cars. One she drove offa the gotdamn freeway like the dukes of hazard n shit. Me, im no saint, i have been in one accident lol, im sure JD will post a comment about it. But i aint been in one since! Driving with my sister, is like playing with your life.

But back to my point, i hate being a passenger most times because, thats leaving too much up to another muthafucka to me lol. Especially if that nigga cant drive. My WORST fear in the whole world, is getting hit on MY SIDE of the car, when im riding as a passenger, because i am just a pure victim in that situation. i didnt do shit to deserve getting hit on MY side, other than get in the car with the muthafucka that shouldnt have made that left in front of the caddilac or some other dumb ass reason somebody gets hit on the passenger side. I think if i ever really did get hit on the passenger side, and the driver could have avoided it. Immediately after i figured out what just happen, and im able to do it effectivly, im going to look to MY left and knock the shit out of who ever is driving. I dont care WHO the fuck it is lol. I know im gonna be THAT gotdamn mad… Unless its my mom or my dad ( aint no way in the fuck imma get in the car with my grand ma ever again! ) youre about to get the shit knocked out of you as a reflex! LMAO Chances are, imma be alot more hurt than they are… and i aint gonna suffer by my gotdamn self!!
If my right arm is all fucked up… im backhanding the shit out of somebody with my left! LOL only if its their fault tho, if its not. Then, no back hands or devistating hooks.
Now that i think about it tho, im glad JD didnt steal on my Black ass when we got in that accident. That shit would have sucked, even at 17 he had massive pimp hands of hoe face destruction!! That nigga would have shifted my whole face!
JD has human talons. Like, if Rodan was more human like, but he was that big massive ass bird, he would have hands like JD, and would have whooped Godzilla ASS. SOLEY because he had monster ass hand talons, built for slaping and choking muthafuckas! LMAO anyway… pay no attention to my JD hype.

That shit scares the fuck out of me. Not JD’s big ass Hulk hands. But getting hit on my side of the car. I could take it as a driver. But as a passenger, it would be a tuffer pill to swallow lol.

7 Responses to “Fuck Buying A Jetta!”

  1. Anonymous

    ROTFLMAO!!! I remember u sitting in my passenger seat…me taking u to pick up ur car….making a left turn unto Sherman Way from Tampa (that infamous nobody wants to stop on red light) and u EMPHATICALLY “saying” “That nigga’s not gonna stop…that nigga’s not gonna stop!” LOL! That would’ve been passenger side collision for ya. But I didn’t try and kill u 😛 I had control of the situation lol!
    LMAO @ the memory.
    Good ass blog…(though I had to skim through some parts…damn u type a lot) those commercials are unnerving.
    MMMWAAHHH 4 MAR MAR!

  2. OH NIGGA, HOW DARE YOU TALK ABOUT FEAR AS A PASSENGER. REMEMBER I BEEN ROLLING WITH YOU SINCE THE DAY WE GOT OUR LISCENCE ON THE SAME DAY( EVEN THOUGH I STILL TECHNICALLY SPEAKING GOT MINE BEFORE YOU). IM THE BRAVEST NIGGA ON THE PLANET CUZ I STILL ROLL WITHYOU, BUT YOU RIGHT HAVE NO FEAR OF YOU HITTING SHIT, DESPITE THE FACT THAT YOU GOT US ALL FUCKED UP AND FACING THE WRONG WAY AND HAD US UP ON 2 WHEELS ABOUT TO TIP THE FUCK OVER, LUCKILY FOR US GOD REACHED DOWN AND SLAMMED THE TRUCK BACK DOWN. ITS ONE THING TO GET HIT ON YOUR SIDE, BUT IMAGINE YO TRUCK IS ON THE BRING OF FLIPPING OVER ON ITS HOOD, AND YOUR SIDE IS THE SIDE IN THE AIR!?!?! NOW THAT SHIT SUCKS! I KNOW, I BEEN AN UNSUSPECTING VICTIM OF A PASSENGER SIDE ACCIDENT THAT WANT MY FAULT, AND BELIEVE ME HOMEY BEING A PASSENGER IN A TRUCK THAT IS SWINGIN IN THE AIR LIKE SOM GOTDAMN CARNIVAL RIDE IS WAY MOER UNNERVING. *side note* WHEN I GOT HIT AS A PASSENGER I WAS ON MY WAY TO A PROM, FUCKE DUP SHIT LIEK THIS HAPPENS TO ME AT A SURPRISINGLY HIGH RIATE*
    ANYWAY, THIS NIGGA GOT INTO AN ACCIDENT AFTER RUNNING LIKE 4 RED LIGHTS, AND I MEAN HE RAN THEM SHIT BAAAAADDD!!! HAD ME STOMPING ALL OVER THE IMAGINARY BRAKE LIEK NO TOMMOROW, AND HTIS NIGGA WAS LOOKING AT ME LIKE “WHAT?” I WAS LIKE “NIGGA STOP RUNNING RED LIGHTS WE GONNA GET FUCKED UP!” “NO WE NOT I GOT THIS” NIGGA TRIED TO RUN THE 5TH RED LIGHT AND DISASTER STRUCK, LET ME TELL YOU WHY DISASTER STRUCK. THE LIGHT TURNED FROM RED TO YELLOW, AND WE WERE FAR AWAY LIEK A MUFUCKA, BUT OJ DOESNT SLOW DOWN HE SPEEDS UP, THEN THE LIGHT TURNS RED, AND HE GOES FASTER! COMPLETELY IGNORING THE FACT THAT THE LIGHT HAD BEEN RED FOR SO LONG, THERE WERE ALREADY LIEK 3 CARS STOPPED AT THE LIGHT SO YO UKOW THIS NIGGA WAS IN THE WRONG, AND IN ORDER TO AVOID A COLISON WITH THE BACK OF A VEHICLE, WHICH OHONESTLY I PROBABLY WOULD’VE FUCKIN PREFERRED, HE MAKES THIS SWWOPING ASS SKIDDING TIRING BURNING SKID ACROSS LANES. AS WERE SKIDDING I LOOD TO MY LEFT AND SEE THIS BIG ASS IRON GATE THERE READY TO FOLD US THE FUCK UP! BUT RIGHT BEFORE WE COULD HIT THE GATE, WE HIT THIS FUCKIN CURB HARD AS FUCK AND ALMOST FLIPPED COMPLETELY THE FUCK OVER, THIS NIGGA BROKE HIS REAR AXLE DAMN NEAR IN HALF.
    AND ALMOST BROKE JD DAMN NEAR IN HALF ALSO, SHIT WAS HORRIBLE.
    AND IF YOU KNEW THE REASON WE WERE GOING OVER THERE YOU WOULD BE REALLY GETTING YOUR GRAND LMAO ON.
    AND AS A MATTER OF FACT, I YOU WANT I CAN TAKE YOU TO THE SPOT IN SAN BERNARDINO OFF OF 2ND ST. RIGHT BEFORE YOU HIT THE 215. THERE IS A BIG ASS CRACK IN THE CEMENT THAT LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY MISPLACED A PIECE OF THE SAN ANDREAS FAULTLINE.
    I STILL GET THE WILLIES WHEN I DRIVE BY THERE. AND FOR ABOUT A YEAR AND A HALF I HAD A JOB THAT REQUIRED ME TO PASS THAT SPOT EVERYTIME I WENT TO WORK!
    SO IF YOU EVER FID YOURSELF WITH OJ AS A PASSENGER IN YOUR CAR AND HE COMPLAINS, JUST REMIND HIM, “REMEMBER WHAT YOU DID TO YOUR BESTEST HOMEY JD?”
    AND IF HE STILL TALKS SHIT, ASK THE NIGGA ABOUT THE TIME HIS BLACK ASS WENT ALL DUKES OF HAZARD AND SHIT OVER SOEM BIG ASS DIRT PILE WHILE NIGGAS AWS STILL IN H.S. YEA NIGGA THOGUHT I FORGT ABOUT THAT SHIT.

    JD IS AN IMPECCABLE DRIVER

  3. Anonymous

    You beat me to it JD…the “San Jacinto Dunes” that shit was right down the street from Dell house and I remember Waxxon super hyping the fact that O was not tring to listen to reason…

    On some different shit I do remember heading to Toys ‘R’ us to pick up a Madden game just before 9:00pm and Niggas in my packed ass car, and OJ’s truck were getting our race on to the spot. the reason I bring this up is because O is the most gullable MCee… You grt this nigga started in a compitition, this nigga don’t stop til someone wins(there ws no winning for him that night)….LOL we were dipping down baseline going towards the Team FoShizy Courts and I dipped left real quick and OJ to not be undone tried to take the same turn…way to late…Folded the shit outta the curb…LOL and damn near the wall on the other side of the sidewalk…from there we are dippin down this non lit street and these train track come outta nowhere and everybody in my car are telling me to chill cause they are some notorious RR tracks…I slow down put still take a nice little hop…I peep my rear view mirror and OJ is steadily tring to catch up, DIPPIN…That nigga hit them track so hard I saw the niggas light flicker off and on like his truck just wanted to give up or some shit…LOL

    And don’t get a nigga started on his dipping habbits to Magic Mountain…This nigga is the most dangerious…I remember a trip to LA in the Mark VIII where I was steadily pressing the imaginary brake…(I also remember a most disgruntal JD in the back seat…I’ll never forget our trip to the donut store that night…classic shit.)

  4. nigga fuck you, i didnt hit the curb or them tracks that bad… and i was keepin up with your eratic ass driving for no reason…

    that night was fun tho lol.