Uhmah Park

How can you tell you had a good ass weekend?
when you get in your bed… sunday night / monday morning… and you can not remember what in the hell you did on friday night. like it will takes you a good 3 minutes to remember what happen. and you will damn near relive the whole night when you do remember… like OH YEA!

and lucky for me… i remember what happen friday! ha! my memory isnt that shot to shit yet.

Friday – Keisha (spelled her name wrong) had a birthday party midnight bowl thing over in torrance. Calvins younger sister Che is out in LA for some weeks, so i invited her to come along. she had a nigga lost in brentwood for a second ( OJ… rolling around in brentwood again. but with no bronco, no knife, no bloodly glove and most importantly, no white girl. lol ). Thinking back… Che probably thinks im a lil bit strange because i was playing public enemy loud as hell for a good portion of the night lol. oh well lol. Anyway… i left my credit card at home and i refused to borrow any money. so i drove my black ass all the way from torrance, back to porter ranch (northridge) To get my gotdamn card.
we get back to the bowling alley like… a hour and some minutes later… and i find out that drinks there are SUPER cheap! i ordered a mai tai for peta gay… a kamakazi shot for Che, and a long island for me… and that shit came up to 13 bucks! it was beautiful! i wanted to cry!
by the time i got to bowl i was pretty toasted. and i couldnt bowl ONE strike or spare for shit. i was pissed lol. but we had fun none the less. Me and Che was crackin jokes in the parking lot. waiting for Deartist (spelled his name wrong too) and Drew to come the fuck on lol. We will be launching the Wonder Weeve band of weeve sometime soon lol. and the big tittie girl that deartist was talking to will be our spokes woman LOL .

Saturday – i was in fontana for my moms surprise party that my sister and dad planned out. i was blowed for most of the day lol. come party time… my mom didnt know shit from shit… everybody was there… she was totally surprised. it was great…. i have pictures. i was soooo damn drunk and soooo damn blowed. i enjoyed my self.
i dont know what it is about my moms birthday parties… but im always REAL fucked up at them shits lol. but my mom wouldnt have it any other way! lol. my mom endorses inebriation. its great lol. her last party though… my sister was HEEVING in her own trash can… that shit is gross lol. my sister is a heever lol. anyway… at the party… this older lady was hitting on my and my cousin and the neighbor… shit was halarious lol. i think she was half way serious tho lol. like if one of us would have been down for the get down… she would have been wit it! but ehhh… didnt crack like that, so it dont matter lol. the party was fuckin fun tho… we all had a good ass time.

Sunday – me and my sister got our bbq hop on! it was great! first we went to Erics parents house… they were having a lil get together… i was blowed when i got there. they had some good ass macoroni and cheese, potato salad, and bbq chicken (a nigga doesnt eat pork or beef) with some good ass bbq sause! then to top it off i downed my first hieken(sp). that shit was nasty really ( i dont like beer ) but jd has been telling me for year. nigga… get you a joint and a heiken are you will be straight. and ill be damned if i wasnt feeling great after that shit…gotdamn! i might have to work that shit into my rotation lol
then from there… we went over brandys house ( and got DRUNK on the way there lol )… now i havent seen brandy in YEARS. this is the girl who is responsible for me being the nasty nigga that i am today lol. me and her brother lonnie used to be best friends, but we had a falling out and we dont talk no more. so i dont see his family all the time like i used to (5+ years lol). i really used to be a extra member of thier household. it was great seeing everybody again. kathy made some GREAT ass pasta salad… and brandy mad some bomb ass potato salad. and then one of brandys friends had salmon! FUCK! that shit was GOOD!
now, im sittin up there drunk and happy… still a lil blowed some how lol. and i dont know… but it seemed like one of brandys friends was trying to get at me. but i didnt think so, because she was clearly gay lol. like she was there with her girl and everything. so, all her passes she made at me, i paid no attention to, till later in the car on the way back to eric house… like ummmm? was brandy friend trying to hit on a nigga? my sister was like ummm yes nigga i do believe so! i almost felt bad for ignoring the fuck out of her. oops.
Next, after i sobered up a lil… we were back at my parents house to re-up on some liquor and take a small smoke break! then… we went back to Eric house and there was a block party going on. a few people i went to highschool with was there… and it was nice to sit around and catch up. found out how everybody was doing n shit. i was great. one of the girls whos house we was in front of… Ebony. i had 11th grade english with her, and she was the Teachers Assistant for the class, she used to grade our papers. we were sitting around talking n shit… and i mentioned something about me not being the greatest speller. and THIS Nigga here was like mmmmmmhhhhmmmmm! i was like GOTDAMN!!!! its been like 7 years! you still remember how fucked up my spelling was from way back then!? “mmmmhhmmm!” i was embarassed! i might have to actually do something about this shit lol. fuck that lol. talkin about “he used to leave out alotta E’s.” that shit was distrubing lol
Anyway… from there… we went back to my parents house and had left overs from the party… i had some more great ass potato salad. more great ass bbq chicken. some more of that great ass birthday cake! and some pie! i was in heaven.
Oh yea… i forgot to mention… after the fucking sun went down. it looked like muthafuckin vietnam/afganistan/iraq out in fontana!!! The fireworks people were letting off were hella loud and bright!! ive NEVER seen that many illegal fire works being left off! i seen some let off RIGHT IN FRONT of the police! and they didnt do SHIT! im thinking to my self… these niggas dont have permits! you cant left off sky bound fireworks in fontana! but these muthafuckas was out here trying to out do each other… the whole sky was lite up where ever you went! Not only did a buncha people have illegal fireworks… but they was crackin them shits off ALL NIGHT LONG. usually people start at 8… end at 9… no… around 11 i was still driving around muthafuckas and they shit! still saw shit being let off in the sky. i couldnt believe it! maybe i was missing something? i dont know. fireworks of every kind are illgal here in LA county lol. i guess something different is crackin off in san bernardino county from the last i used to live out in that bitch. on my way home… from fontana to west covina, the whole freeway was filled with smoke lol. i dont know what it is about white people and gun powder. they lose they fuckin minds. shit… i guess mexicans too… because they was on that same shit lol.

so yea… i am a changed man. from this day out. i will be enthusatic about celerbrating this countries holidays (i still fucking hate christmas tho… dont trip, fuck the dumb!)… as long as a muthafucka some where in bbqin and im invited! i will be making my yearly rounds at muthafuckas gatherings every gotdamn holiday. thats the only time niggas will see my black ass so i get all kinda special treatment and extra food n shit lol.
Whats next? Labor day? ahhh yea! it goes down! imma be talkin to everybody i know two weeks before and plan out me a lil route lol.

but gotdamn… i NEED to employ somebody to drive my black ass around in my car for the whole day too. i had to sober up like 3 times to actually leave from where i was at. that shit sucked lol. my sister got to be drunk as fuck the whole gotdamn day lol. i was jealous!
So here is my offical Ad:
Do you want to have a good ass time? do you wish you had friends who were tons of fun, instead of your boring ass drab friends? would you like to experince some of the good times i write about on this blogger and take pictures of in the photo gallery? Well your time is NOW! a fun new excited oppertunity has presented it self and its ready for YOU to take advantage of! You can be OJ’s designated driver! thats right… this means you will get to be in on all the great times! you will get to be all the pictures… take the some pictures… be apart of the storys and all that! fun fun fun… bbq’s (free food!), parties, clubs (guestlist vip… most of the time FREE!) that could be you! fun fun fun! all you have to have is a valid drivers licence and a be willing to drive to my house so we can depart from here and roll out! you must ALSO have a decent sense of directions and be able to take directions fairly well… applicants who apply that actually have a nice big roomy car… you have more of a chance to roll with me and the rest of the gang! And remember… we do not support drunken drivers on the california streets and highways! so absolutly no alcohol for our applicants! but youll be having so much fun… youre not going to even need alcohol to have a great ass time! fun fun fun! it could be you! and dont forget the fun part! its better than what you got going on now… we promise! fun fun fun! it goes down! apply today!

lol ok im sleepy… im bein stupid lol im blackin out.


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