Uhmah Park

Blowed Thoughts

Dear Summer

Dear Summer, You know Im going to miss you. I love the summer time and everything that comes with it. I love everything right now. Currently im driving down the 134 freeway, east bound, rolling through Glendale. The moon is full and hovering over the city scape. The moon isnt all that “high” in the air, its about 8pm. The moon is a dull yellow, big and absolutely gorgeous. The moon is one of my favorite things to look at, its something like hypnotic. When i look at the moon, im almost at a lost for words. My thoughts are […]

Balance wont let me be great

For about the last 3 months Ive been swamped with work. I havent had time to workout, work on my skill set, get out of the house really or anything. Just work. I have a lot of projects on my plate. Ive worked 10+ hours damn near daily over the past few months. Sometimes going 7+ days with out taking a day off. Ive been working an onsite gig downtown and now in woodland hills. I have been working 8 and 9 hour shifts, then coming home and working 2+ hours on my freelance project; almost daily. During the last […]

OJ’s Shitty Advice: The Middle Stall

One day, I was sitting on the toilet and I had an idea, like a lot of people do when they are posted on the toilet. I figure that since I’m not afraid to take a shit in a public restroom and I know some many people who absolutely refuse to under any and every circumstance. I figured maybe I’d give some friendly advice. Look at how awesome and philanthropic I am. Who else would offer such needed yet over looked advice? So here is my first tip on taking a shit in public or some body’s home whom you […]

Death By Snu Snu

If you dont know what Death By Snu-Snu is about. Its ok, but if I were you, I’d hate myself to some degree lol. Anyway, last night I saw somebody on my twitter timeline talking about this guy that died from having sex with a big chick. She busted a nut, and passed out right on top of this man. Well last night when I saw this I was pretty damn high; and seeing that got me to thinking about a few things: A mf died.. he let a fat chick ride him. She came, collapsed on him. This mf […]

Dunkin Flat Bread

So Dunkin Donuts has a new egg white flat bread sandwich thats only 300 calories. When I was sitting there watching this commercial, I thought to myself… What? Why would I want an egg white sandwich from a donut place? Oh… it says for all those people who wanted to eat healthy in the new year. Really? So you mean to tell me, that some person is about to call themselves healthy by strolling into their local dunkin donuts and just by this and maybe some coffee and its going to end there? OF COURSE NOT! They are also gonna take down […]

I still love you Mary Jane

Recently, I got my bottom two wisdom teeth removed. So I had to take over a week long hiatus from smoking. Not a problem. Vicodin was a let down. All it did was take away the intense pain and make me HELLA NAUSEOUS! So I spent something like 12 days sober as hell. I was bored as hell. The only real part that sucked about it, is that I was really bored. A lot. I had nothing to do, other than work. I couldnt work out. I had to take that vicodin for like 5 days, so I couldnt drive […]

Rap Producers Are Assholes

Have you ever been minding your own business, in your car, listening to your favorite hiphop song kind of loud. Then all of a sudden you a police siren out of no where and panic like a muthafucka? Like “where? what? I hear em, but I dont see em!? Hold on. Im trippin? Im trippin…” I cant name the number of songs that have some kind of sirens in them. But every once a while I get caught slippin. Its wack. But I figure, most of hiphops audience are individuals with some kind of urban or ethnic background. Also individudals […]

Wow, I Actually Finished A Box Of Q-Tips

I dont know how long Ive had this box of Q-tips. But I know its been years. These are all the Q-tips left which means the box is not worth keeping. On to the next box. Ill mark this date, and see how long how it takes me to get through the next box. Of course I have to get through these first.

The Sultans Pipe

My cousin King Juave got me this pipe for my Birthday. It is a pipe only fit for a Sultan. But he gave it to me instead. I have a whole crazy story about how this pipe was created and got to me. But you all are lame and wouldnt undertand. lol There is alot of back story to the Hyperbole me and JD go through lol. Im not explaining lol. But this pipe right here gets me waaaaay too blowed. I only pull it out for special occastions. It has the hugest bowl. You can fit damn near a […]

Wings of the Lethargic

What if people were blessed with wings? How far would be too far to fly to a destination? People always say, that's too far to walk. What would be too far to fly? If you did decide to fly, would it be something like running? Or could we fly at a stroll like pace? A pace where we wouldn't work up a sweat at all. If people had wings and could fly, would it be feasible, as a safety precaution, to wear parachutes when you leave the house? You know. Just in case you get knocked out of the air […]