Before you read this… i would just like to say the following:

i have never claimed to be a nice guy, “right”, or anything in the way of positive. lol

so much shit happen the weekend of this story… but this is what sticks out the most. this weekend started on thursday and ended on monday night lol. this past summer was great!

Kkarma (1:52:37 PM) : whats been goin on?
OJ (1:53:44 PM) : shit
OJ (1:53:46 PM) : lol
OJ (1:53:49 PM) : not a damn thing at all
Kkarma (1:53:51 PM) : fun.
OJ (1:54:00 PM) : indeed
OJ (1:54:03 PM) : how you liking LA so far?
Kkarma (1:54:04 PM) : im just glad to not be driving. i felt like i was on the road for 500 years.
OJ (1:54:18 PM) : LOL
Kkarma (1:54:33 PM) : its cool. im happier now. i got harasssed by some old black dude missing an eye this morning
Kkarma (1:54:57 PM) : he told me he was from outer space and he had came back to earth from his hiding space to take my money.
Kkarma (1:55:20 PM) : and i told him i needed my money to get my nails done and he said i was going to get my ass kicked.
OJ (1:55:48 PM) : LMAO WHAT?!
Kkarma (1:55:52 PM) : and i said ‘right on’ and got in my car and drove thru the burger king drive thru to get sakura one of those egg joints
Kkarma (1:55:56 PM) : and he chased me
OJ (1:55:59 PM) : LMAO FUCK LMAO
OJ (1:56:07 PM) : NO LMAO
OJ (1:56:08 PM) : lol
Kkarma (1:56:17 PM) : and was all yelling at me talkin bout ‘go ahead get you a burger, youll see what happens!!!!’
Kkarma (1:56:41 PM) : i just ignored him and ordered. he was all tapping on the window getting all beligerent. lolol
Kkarma (1:56:56 PM) : i wasd like well, im really not going to give you money now.
OJ (1:57:35 PM) : LOL youre the fucking guts for telling him that IM REALLY not gonna give you money now lmao
Kkarma (1:58:52 PM) : lolol
Kkarma (1:59:00 PM) : well i had considered it at first cuz he was funny
Kkarma (1:59:06 PM) : and i appreciate originality in bums
Kkarma (1:59:08 PM) : lolol
OJ (1:59:20 PM) : LOL skanless lmao
Kkarma (1:59:39 PM) : i got harassed by 3 different bums on sunset all before 11am
Kkarma (1:59:47 PM) : but that one was the funniest
Kkarma (2:00:56 PM) : so yeah. im happy.
Kkarma (2:01:14 PM) : this is way better than being around boring hick white people all day long in colorado lolol
OJ (2:01:05 PM) : lol yea the bums on sunset be on that shit… did i ever tell you i tried to get this fat white girl bum to strip for us one night?
Kkarma (2:01:17 PM) : NO!!!
Kkarma (2:01:20 PM) : HAHAHAHAHAH WHAT
OJ (2:01:21 PM) : lol man…
Kkarma (2:01:21 PM) : ???
Kkarma (2:01:24 PM) : lolol
OJ (2:01:28 PM) : i aint shit… i promise you
Kkarma (2:01:39 PM) : youre terriblewhat happened?
OJ (2:01:57 PM) : one nite for the homegirls birthday… we went to saddle ranch bar… on sunset…
OJ (2:02:12 PM) : i didnt wanna drive… so i got FRUNK AS DUCK before we even got dressed to go lol
Kkarma (2:02:26 PM) : LOOLOL
Kkarma (2:02:30 PM) : ala calvin
OJ (2:03:09 PM) : i drank while i was ironing… i drank when i was in the shower… i drank when i was gettin dressed… i drank waiting to go… i drank in the car on the freeway… i drank in the car on sunset… i drank AT the bar lol
Kkarma (2:03:33 PM) : just cuz you didnt want to drive?
OJ (2:03:35 PM) : anyway… that whole night was eventful as fuck lol
Kkarma (2:03:38 PM) : i hate you.
OJ (2:03:44 PM) : hell yea… but after we was fucked up… i just kept going lol
OJ (2:03:58 PM) : i paid for that shit the next day… in more ways than several lol
OJ (2:04:06 PM) : but yea… so we was at the bar… on the patio n shit…
OJ (2:04:20 PM) : and some big fat dirty ass white girl passes by… askin for money ( she was a bum )
OJ (2:04:47 PM) : man…. then here go my black ass lol
OJ (2:05:00 PM) : ” hey… if you want some money girl… YOURE GONNA HAVE TO WORK FOR IT! ”
OJ (2:05:05 PM) : shes like… work for it how?
Kkarma (2:05:15 PM) : hell naw lolol
OJ (2:05:16 PM) : lol you gonna have to get sexy for me….
OJ (2:05:26 PM) : come on girl… TURN ME ON!!!
OJ (2:05:45 PM) : i got 3 ones right here… fuck it… if you flash us… ill give you 5 ones!!
OJ (2:05:54 PM) : come on girl… rub on that belly!
OJ (2:06:06 PM) : rub on them titties!!!! GET SEXY GIRL GET SEXY
OJ (2:06:10 PM) : niggas was ROLLIN!!!
OJ (2:06:17 PM) : then!
OJ (2:06:19 PM) : THEN!
OJ (2:06:28 PM) : muthafuckas started joining in… like YEA!! TAKE IT OFF!!!
OJ (2:06:33 PM) : I GOT A DOLLAR!!
OJ (2:06:39 PM) : i got five dollars!!!
OJ (2:06:42 PM) : come on come on!!!
OJ (2:06:56 PM) : that muthafucka would have had a good 30 bucks if she would have actually put on a show lol….
OJ (2:07:03 PM) : but she got shy n shit….
Kkarma (2:07:05 PM) : LOLOLOLOL
Kkarma (2:07:08 PM) : what did she do
OJ (2:07:10 PM) : i think i have a picture some where
OJ (2:07:21 PM) : she actually did kinda rub on her titties lol
Kkarma (2:07:31 PM) : oh no
Kkarma (2:07:33 PM) : ahahahahahahaa
OJ (2:07:36 PM) : i had my camera cheering her on… get sexy for the camera!!!
Kkarma (2:07:48 PM) : im suprised you never wrote about that shit
Kkarma (2:07:50 PM) : thats hilarious
OJ (2:07:52 PM) : i guess she had too much pride in the end…
Kkarma (2:07:56 PM) : youre just as bad as bumfights
OJ (2:08:11 PM) : man… i woulda had to write about that WHOLE weekend lol
OJ (2:08:16 PM) : it was the best weekend ever lol
Kkarma (2:09:22 PM) : you should do like bumfights and have bumstrip
Kkarma (2:09:24 PM) : or bumporn
OJ (2:09:50 PM) : UGH lol
OJ (2:10:00 PM) : i couldnt film that shit sober lol
Kkarma (2:10:17 PM) : LOL

i know i know… oj youre an asshole, oj… youre fucked up, oj that aint even right… yap yap yap. it was the guts none the less….

anyway… i had a fucked up hangover and threw up three times the next day lol.

9 Responses to “BumPorn”

  1. Nigga this is the funniest shit I have read in a 24 hour period….oh my god…..my lung is going to collapse from laughing…wooooooooooooo….Kkarma is the guts and so are you!!….

    Oh and I’m glad Kkarma recognized the source of Frunk as Duck….alot of people have been using my words/actions/trademarks and not crediting me!!!

  2. This reminds me of the time I caught two bums having sex behind my job.

    So I was working on Auburn Avenue in Atlanta a few years ago. As I’m sure Calvin can confirm, this street used to be a Black mecca for business, but has since let itself go and is now a cesspool.

    Anyway, to that end, there is a predatory and thriving homeless population in this area — located in the very heart of downtown. They basically have free reign in the city, so much so that there is a panhandling ordinance and a law to prevent “urban turtles” from taking over the parks in the city.

    But I digress…one hot summer day, I was upstairs at my job talking to some coworkers when one of them yells, “They’re having SEX!” I rush to the back of the building to the window, unprepared for the scene I was about to witness.

    On a grassy patch behind our building in the parking lot were two bums having doggie style intercourse. They moved their rags to the side just enough to have access to the goods and humped with abandon like no one was around. And no one was.

    And then…

    About this time, our receptionist was just getting off work. This is a good, Southern, Christian black woman, what we would think of as “old school.” Her grandchildren probably call her “Big Mama” or some variation thereof. (To this day, she also still wears a Wave Nouveau, but we won’t address that in this forum.)

    So picture Old Bird walking around the corner towards our dirty lovers. No sooner has O.B. caught sight of her Buick than this pair also comes into her field of vision. Do they stop? Look up? Oh no — they keep going!

    O.B. was horrified. She immediately began yelling at them to stop. When they acknowledged her, it was with a look not of embarassment, but of irritation — as if she was somehow inconveniencing them at their makeshift “hotel.”

    Everytime I remember this story, it makes me laugh. Thanks for sharing your little bumsploitation tale with the group. Perhaps I should’ve grabbed a camera, too…

  3. *tummy hurts from laughing*

    So I’m assuming ole girl was a bum but not a crackhead. Had she been a crackhead she woulda rubbed the hell out of her tiddies, ass, and whatever else. This bum obviously didn’t have that trademark Pookie-type desperation.


    **i know i know… oj youre an asshole, oj… youre fucked up, oj that aint even right… yap yap yap.**

    Uh, I TOTALLY disagree! That has to be the funniest thing I’ve ever read (aside from the bee story..that’s gonna be #1 in my books for a LONG time)

    Man I wish I was there…LMAO@Leeser for sayin if she was a crackhead she woulda put on a show…true true. She prolly woulda asked to borrow your cell phone to call up the rest of the crackhead crew and made a whole damn movie for yall…couches on the backs and all! *lol*

    I would love to see the pic 😀