Uhmah Park

lol that has to be the dumbest spelling of a word ever…

and this is commin from a nigga who can not spell all that great.


for the last 3 to 5 days ( depending on who you are… how you count shit… and if i put you on to my where abouts ) i have been in atlanta ga. went on business of course… thats the only reason i really go any damn where.

but i did get my sight see on.

and here are my thoughts on the City of Atlanta:

– There are more Trees than a little bit.

my dad told me… you dont realize you live in the desert till you go back east. true indeed… i stepped outside at like 9 pm and the¬†crickets were¬†loud as shit. that shit was kinda creepy to a nigga tho… shit hides in trees and i hate surprises. there was thick ass brush and trees every gotdamn where you turn… not that it was a total bad thing really… it just took a day or two for me to adjust to so much damn¬†vegetation.¬†basically… when i found out wasnt any wild life i was cool lol.

– Atlanta looks like Tulsa Oklahoma.

Atlanta looks JUST LIKE Tulsa Oklahoma after 10 blazing years of¬†development… hills trees and all. my moms family is from Tulsa¬†and ive been there more times than i can remember. But Atlanta is a beautiful city. its real nice… small… but nice… country as shit… but nice… long as im in the city part and not the parts with too many trees. my dad also told me… ” Remember… once you leave atlanta… your right in the middle of GEORGIA!!!” this shit stuck in my mind from the time i found out i was goin go ATL. and i was mindful of the shit the whole time i was out there… OJ tree decorations is ungood. i did however venture into some back woods ass part of town… some street called Northside or some shit… buncha big ass homes… it was dark so i couldnt see too much… but it looked like it was pretty nice. did buss a U tho… fuck the¬†dumb. When i found out i was goin to GA… somebody suggested that i fly in to Birmingham ………… ALAMBAMA…. then…… rent a car and drive 2 hot ass hours in to GEORGIA and then to ATL. man… i was so nervous at just the suggestion, i didnt know what to fuckin do.. THROUGH¬†fuckin ALAMBAMA? then fuckin GEORGIA? ah fuck naw… i really wanted to start cussin when i heard that shit. niggas got me puttin my neck on the line… LITERALY!!!¬†fuck that… i drive fast too… average speed in the south is like 55… i be cruising at 90… one of them rosy checked state troopers woulda pulled my black ass over so fast… lol id really rather deal with the LAPD… honestly lol… i could hear them muhfuckas in my sleep… “oooooh… yous justah fass drivin city boi… aintcha… cal-i-forn-i-a huh… well lemmie juss show ya how we do thang round hur boi.”¬†lol fuck that. Tell the truth, i got brave once i got there… and really wasnt too bad of a nervious wreck. i just didnt leave the general ATL area lol. but the thought of some bullshit happenin got to me real bad before i left lol

-The Following muthafuckas are some fuckin  inbreeds:

–Who ever in the fuck designed the atlanta roads.

This muthafucka was on some serious shit. how does every fuckin street hit the gotdamn freeway?!!?!?!? that dont make no muthafuckin sense at fuckin all… streets was looping around three and four times off of¬†other streets n shit. now im not tryin tryin to generalize or sterotype nobody… but as far as i know and have heard, theres a lot of slow¬†muhfuckas¬†in the south. now with this little peice of fuckin information… you would think that the whole city would be a grid… like… LA or Phx… but no… muthafuckas wanna have streets do loops and spell out shit from the air n shit. man i have never been so fuckin lost in my gotdamn life… streets was doing hard ass right turns n shit… zig zags… cut backs… all kinda bullshit.

— Who ever in the fuck decided that there should be more than one fucking street named “Peachtree”.

oh my fuckin GOD… i been waitin a week to actually post this shit… i was so fuckin upset when i discovered that there was like 80 streets that contain the word ” peach tree ” in atlanta.

there is a fuckin:

Peachtree Street, Peachtree Battle, Peachtree Circle, Peachtree Ave, Peachtree BLVD, Peachtree Way, Peachtree Walk, Peachtree Parkway, Peachtree Road, West Peachtree street, Peachtree Street Road, Peachtree Street BLVD, Peachtree Street Ave, Peachtree, Peachtree n dem, PeachTrees over there, Peachtree SE blvd, Peachtree Near, Peachtree’s baby daddy, Peachtree-street.com and everyfuckin thing else you can think of in this fuckin city… and its honestly confusing enough… but all these peachtree varitions fuckin intersect… can i get a WHAT THA FUCK? sigh… the kin of the person ( because im pretty sure this was one assholes bright ass idea ) who thought this up ALL need thier asses kicked in hopes that nothing this fuckin stupid will ever happen on this earth ever again.

— The fuckin dumb ass/group of dumb asses who decided that everything related to Georgia was gonna have a fuckin peach involed.

i now fuckin hate peaches… there are peaches every fuckin where out there… not actual peaches… just pictures and refrences to fuckin peaches, the licence plates, tha GOTDAMN STREET NAMES!! one of the radio stations, and a whole buncha other shit. im cool on peaches for a cool fuckin min… i dont even like peaches.

moving on….

-Hot steaming plate of Sweat any one?

its fuckin humid… it actually didnt bother me like people was tellin me it was gonna be… it was like 85% humidity or some shit like that… i was sicky as fuck… but it didnt bother me. people from the south and NY have always told me… ahhh its hot out there… but its HUMID out here… eehh fuck that… i lived in Phoenix for 15 months… you do a week of 120’s and THEN you come back to me talkin shit. at least its a dry heat my black ass… that shit hurt if you in it too long lol. but then again… i like the heat. 120’s and high hundred teens would even kick the devils ass tho.

– The Freeway…

the atlanta freeways are fucking great… i love em… they are WAY better than cali’s freeways signs tell you where to go n shit.these signs are hella discriptive… like you are gettin directions from a gas station clerk or some shit. some of em even got pictures to tell you how the lanes break up ahead. shit is wonderful.

– Downtown.

Why downtown there is a bootleg purse shop on every corner… and they all sell the same shit? i just wanna know… i didnt get it at all. i couldnt figure that shit out. they sold everything a muhfucka ever wanted that was bootleg… the coach bags had G’s and O’s n shit… the Fendi and louis vuitton) bags wasnt leather… the gucci print was extra suspec;¬†all kinda bullshit lol… it was like an outdoor slauson swapmeet with just bootleg purse shops. but other than that… down town was pretty nice. Im an Architecture major… i was jockin tha shit outta all the buildings. i was just nervious at all the brick… once i finailly got into my head that there wasnt an earthquake threat… i was cool lol.

– The hotel

Two bedroom two bath… queen upstairs… master downstairs.. it was pretty damn spiff… shit had a kitchen n shit… it was like havin a temporary apartment. couches was more confortable than the bed… it cracked. the residence inn, buckhead is the shit. they even have a basketball court… what more could a nigga really ask for… really? the people there were nice… they had a van that would take you with in five miles of the hotel to anywhere you want to go.

– How far?

Riddle me this shit… how or why in the hell does everybody in ATL talk in Miles? every time i asked where something was… they told me how many miles it was away…. even when i was at the airport

” say brutha… where is enterprise at?”

him: ” ‘ go down dat hallway… maka righ… an’ ’bout a quwata (quarter) mile down”

me: ” …………………………….. a quarter mile??????????……….. quarter mile???? ”

him: “yuh”


i wanted to ask his ass….. how tha fuck do you know?

every time i asked for directions… people gave me directions in miles… 2miles down the road… 1/8th of a mile down the street… all kinda shit like that. that shit was weird to me. but i guess… i know here in LA we talk in minutes… everything is like 20 minuties this or that way… 5 min after the 7-11 or some shit.

( oh yea… that shit i was askin for was about a quarter fuckin mile… ATL airport is bigger than a muhfucka )

( and also… in LA… everything is 20 min away that isnt 10 or 15 min away lol )

-The AUC

The AUC is the part of Atlanta where all the black schools are……………………….. this fuckin area of Atlanta looks like fuckin compton… actually… compton has some good parts ( if you can belive it lol ) but it got some bad ones too… the AUC looks like tha bad part of fuckin compton… i couldnt fuckin believe it. i accidentally rolled up on the AUC because i was tryin to look a the Georgia dome ( which ill talk about later ) and i passed the Georgia dome… looked up and seen some shit that said ‘ Morris Brown College ‘ and ill be damned if i didnt think i was in Compton for a hot ass second. i just wasnt knowin. i rolled around a tad… rolled up to clark… rolled back down thru morris brown. in all honesty it looked kinda cool… it was like 12 at night and people was just out kickin it havin a good ol time… couldnt do that shit in LA… somebody’s bound to get shot. there would be all kinda memorials up and down the street n shit, people with RIP t shirts on… police harrassin the shit outta people… baseheads lol. anyway lol… the AUC pretty much looks like compton from what i seen… id still kick it tho ( i like compton ). i just wasnt expecting it to look like that from how people was hypin it.

– Racist muthafuckas.

Now of course… i was in the south… and the south has a rep… the white people in the south have the rep that is… but i didnt inquire none of that when i was out there. A large portion of the Black Females in Atlanta have a problem… for some reason… females was givin my syls dirty ass looks the whole time she was down there. just evil ass glares… i didnt catch any of em… well… i almost kinda did… but the girl seen me lookin over her way so she turned away when she was about to turn her face up at syl. i was so fuckin embrassed… i couldnt figure out why they was lookin at her like that. i felt real bad for syl… i tried to call my brutha calvin and see what the problem was. he said everybody has their place out there basiclly… and syl was outta place. i dont know tho. i didnt see any damn reason for muhfuckas turnin they face up like they was… at a resturant this black waitor ( male ) wouldnt speak to syl every time i went to the restroom, and barely looked her way while i was there. i dont know tho… she said she didnt have a problem when we wasnt down town. but she never wants go back… i dont blame her… i feel real bad and embrassed, i cant figure out why my people would treat her like that… i feel responsible. With all the bullshit niggas went thru out there… you would think they could exersise a lil bit more tolerance.

– Lennox muthafuckin mall…

ok… on friday… i was at Lennox mall… saw the human highlight film himself, Dominque Wilkins… got a picture n shit ( ill post it one of these good ol days ). lol my cousin had me cryin earlier… he asked me if he still looks like the the spokes man for Duke hair care products. wooo shit lol… gutty shit. anyway… i was at this place on friday… Syl told me that when she was there last… people was tellin her that this was the hot spot… yap yap yap… ok… i went… i saw… i wasnt impressed. im from Califorina… we have way better shoppin at the wackest of malls out here. ok… no big thing… it was nice… we move on. But buss it tho. i got to Atlanta Thursday morning… and i heard that there was a buncha gay men in atlanta…. up untill Saturday afternoon… i had only seen like 4 gay dudes at the most… ( seen a buncha damn dykes tho… it was weird/unexpected ). i thought to my self… ahhh… stop the hype. what in the hell are they talkin about?.

Saturday at about 630pm i found out i had to wear white and gold to this event i was going to and the yellow shirt i had wasnt clean so i had to go find another white or yellow shirt at the mall around the corner. ( lennox mall ). GOTDAMN SHIT FUCK. i rolled up to this fuckin place and it was like they was crowed as fuck… ok… no biggie… threaten to hit a couple of pedestrians in the parking lot, i always do that… no biggie… nothing new… park where ever… fuck the¬†walk… i live in cali… busy malls aint shit, no biggie… nothing new. first tho… let me say… i was walkin up to the mall after i parked… started noticing people kinda dressed up… didnt think shit about it. noticed people kinda kickin it in the parking lot… talkin to other people… ok… small town.. maybe alotta people know each other… then i was crossin the street and to my left was a 4 niggas in a Jag… a S-type. i heard this lady say… where do these young guys get the money to pay for these expensive cars? one of the dudes in the group she was with said , loud as fuck , ” THATS A GOTDAMN RENT-A-CAR!!!”… ah man i as fuckin rollin… and the niggas in the car all kinda looked away and pretended that they didnt hear that shit… ah man i was rollin. let out a big ass… HA HA THAS FUCKED UP HA HA HA… woooo… anyway… get up to the mall and good jesus.

i have never seen so much muthafuckin hype in my whole fuckin life. there was more muthafuckas in this mall than a lil bit… and they was all loitering ¬†like a muthafucka… muthafuckas was dressed up like they was goin to the club n shit. females was half naked ( cant honestly state this as a complaint ) the dudes had they best diecast metal chains on… rhine stoned the¬†fuck up. it was the guts it was like crenshaw on any given firday saturday or sunday just a buncha mutahfuckas… tryin they best to impress somebody… and that was just right outside the intrance… but SOON as i REALLY peeped the scene… This mall was FULL of Gay black dudes… i couldnt fuckin believe it… it really seemed like muthafuckas was skippin around me hangin from the ceiling n shit… laughin talkin and having a gay ol’ time… foreal. Now i still maintain that i have no problem with gay people… but i also maintain that i DO NOT like surprises… i was not ready for this shit at fuckin all. it was like Gay Guy Mecca for some shit… muhfuckas was posted in front of stores… gettin numbers… checkin each other out…………………………. CHECKIN ME OUT ( yes… this is the part that fucked me up ). i could only say… hell… naw. there was every kinda Gay dude there too… there was the pretty boy gay guy… the i walk rather sweetly gay guy… the out in the open, my hair looks better than all the females in yo family gay guy… there was the cross dressin gay guy… there was im gay and i wear pink gay guy… there was the tight clothes leather pants gay guys… there was the two snapps and a neck roll, hunny child no he didnt gay guy… there was the happy ass skip around be extra loud and gay, gay guy… there was the convict swole as fuck, please lord dont let this nigga think he wanna rape my black ass gay guy ( in pink one of em… that shit was wow ). i mean… everyhting, every where.

i could not believe that shit… and i sure¬†wasnt ready for it. not that i wouldnt have went if somebody would have told me… hey oj… Saturday at the lennox mall is alternitive life style day. it woulda been cool… i still woulda went and got the shit i was lookin for. i just wasnt prepared at all.

i ended up walkin around the mall lookin at muthafuckas that was lookin at me too hard, REAL crazy, like i was about to dope fiend a nigga somethin too cold. shit was cool after that lol.

i did end up meeting this girl that worked in some store called traffic or some shit like that. this girl looked DEAD on lisa raye… damn near sounded like her and everything… she was fuckin fine. except for her big ass tat on her forearm of her name ( why? )… yaj somethin… i dont remember. still fine tho. nice too… she helped me look for somethin to wear to the event. i was tryin not to stare… it was hard tho. that was the most ive jocked a female in a long long time lol. didnt try to really talk to her like that tho… i was goin back to lovely califorina the next day, plus i dont believe in long distance relationship or courting… shit is a pain in the ass.

anyway… im cool on the lennox mall on saturday unless i NEED to go.

but all the hype in the mall tells me that there must really not be anything to fuckin do out there during the day… but then again… you gotta go some where during the day.

-Pharr Street.

This street has clubs all up and down it with all kinda good shit going on… it looks like it cracks too.

Thumbs up to Calvin for being my over the phone remote tour guide via nashville tennesse…. and fuck him at tha same time for not warning me about lennox on saturday.

all in all… i had fun… and i could live out in ATL for like a month outta every year. and thats sayin alot lol. the jet lagg is a muthafucka tho.

i like atlanta.


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