I just got off the phone with one of my ex-girlfriends ( see FYI 1. umm scroll to the bottom of this long ass post… ) and she was telling me about her friend who she had a falling out with because she didnt get her a christmas presnt when they had both agreed to get each other christmas presents. And then… the other day… the girl im seeing was telling me about her mom being pissed at her because she didnt like the gift that she had gotten her… but she didnt like the gifts her momma got her… and her brother didnt like his shit… and its just a buncha shit, and now she wanna move out (not with good ol heff tho lol). But its a buncha shit with EVERYBODY.
So thats why i say fuck christmas and fuck christmas some more… nobody is EVER happy with what they get. i dont know why people dont just give each other money so they can get what they REALLY wanted it. i mean shit… tell the fuckin truth… if a muhfucka get lke 800 bucks wortha shit for christmas… and thats being hella generious… doesnt it make more sense for a person to round up the money they get from christmas from various parties and take that shit and go shopping for they MUTHAFUCKIN self and get some shit they REALLY wanted instead of a buncha bullshit?!?!? or take all they cash and get one big thing they wanted… like a dvd player and surround sound system… instead of a buncha fuckin 20 dollar 50 dollar bullshit ( still being generious here… we are in a ressesion and muhfuckas BEEN cheap lol ). i mean… shit… it sounds more logical to me. With this system… nobody would be pissed. everybody would be hella greatful ( i guess untill word got out that one person got more money than the other… but fuck it… it aint my fuckin problem lol ). friendship would be stronger.. because everybody would be busy being hella nice all year so they get a buncha money from everybody… lol pssshhh with this system… society will be euphoric in less than 10 years lol.. BET!
but that shit wont happen… muhfuckas is cheap… lol everybody would end up with like 100 bucks total or some shit lol
so yea… yall muthafuckas can have chirstmas… im cool on that shit.
i dont understand tho… how muhfuckas got the muthafuckin NERVE to be mad about a gift somebody else gave them… that they thought they would like? id honestly be ready to fuckin fight lol… not after i been thru a gotdamn mall / retail store lookin for some shit for yo punk ass… had to drive around a big ass parking lot for 45 min first… JUST TO FUCKIN PARK… to get in tha gotdamn store… then deal with a buncha people who are on some bullshit, and possibly smell like somebullshit too or maybe even look like somebullshit… overworked clerks, who are pissed at they schedule or just pissed because they over worked, or just pissed because they been dealing with those same people who either are on / look like / smell like, some bullshit… shifting thru a FUCKED UP store where shit is fuckin everywhere… and you are trying to find the prices on shit but everything is everywhere… along with everybody everywhere. a muhfucka goes thru ALL THIS SHIT… just for the person they decide to give a gift to… to not like the shit they went thru all this bullshit for… or just to have them return it and get something else!! oh fuck that… somebody is gettin they ass whooped before new years… im sorry.. i couldnt do that shit, i stoped celerbrating christmas in the 4th grade, and i DO NOT miss that shit. But you know? with all the crazy muthafuckas in this world… i am REALLY surprised that the’re are not a buncha chirstmas related deaths ( see FYI 2 — umm this one is at the bottom too. ). muhfuckas just coming up missing/dead over some bullshit ass chirstmas present.
i just dont understand… lol
i can only think of THREE People… actually… one person and two groups of people who have any right to be pissed off at chirstmas or on chirstmas or whatever the fuck.
1. Jesus… if i was Jesus id be fuckin hot… you know why? nobody ever gets him SHIT on his so called birthday ( see FYI 3 — so is this one.. at the bottom of this post that is.). i mean fuck… not even die hard christains who oppose the commercialization of christmas and celerbrate the “true meaning of christmas” dont even get jesus a mutahfuckin thing! ok… so if you DID decide to get Jesus something…. where do you send it? ok… i understand that…but still nobody sets a side a extra 50 or 100 bucks for the collection plate at church ( lol if thats all the person who you claim to be your lord and saviour is worth to you lol ) they dont try to buy the church a new speaker that the preacher blew out from yellin and screamin n shit ( if you frequent a black church lol ) or none of that shit. if i was jesus… it would rain frogs and locust and roaches ( lol let the church say “uuugghhhhhh” ) on every fuckin christmas. I wouldnt give a fuck if somebody made the shit up and it wasnt my REAL birthday, and muhfuckas “just say” that it is… fuck it… GET ME SOMETHING!! do something… something!!! fuck… but nope… everybody forget about jesus on christmas. yea yea yea… muhfuckas go to church… SO? worship?? WORSHIP?? fuck that!! you do that shit ALL the time… GET THAT NIGGA SOMETHING… he jesus… he died for your fuckin sins muhfucka!! remember that shit?!?! you go to fuckin church EVERY fuckin sunday!!! at least do a jesus like act on christmas… go feed some homeless less fortunate muhfuckas… give somebody some wine, say it USED to be water… give a muhfucka hard of seeing a better perscription glasses or something, or better yet, pay for a muhfucka corrective eye surgery!!! something.. shit… nobody does that shit on christmas. Shit no! With all the excuses muhfuckas come up with, im HONESTLY… HONESTLY AND TRUELY surprised that a muhfucka hasnt told his friends, ” well yall… i would have got yall some shit for chirstmas… but i spent it all doing the work of christ! i did this that and the other… and i believe thats what Jesus would have wanted me to do if he was here to instruct me on how he would like HIS BIRTHDAY to be celerbrated. but, i did have some left over money and i got you all these nice cards ” or some shit like that ( see FYI 4 — if youre wondering where this one is? youre just a fuckin idiot… give your computer away to somebody who really needs it.). i mean shit… muhfuckas be like jesus has blessed me… right? why dont nobody show his ass no damn love man? all them people rockin the WWJD bands… do you REALLY think that jesus would get YO ass something instead of YOU get HIM something? honestly lol. Chirstmas is some twisted ass shit if when you stop and think about it. The belief is… its Jesus birthday right… and he was this great person, did all this good. shit… he was the SON OF GOD! and to top that all off… he died for YOUR ( the muhfuckas that believe that ) sins. and YOUR ( the muhfuckas that believe…. ) suppose to be celerbrating HIS birthday… but what do muhfuckas do? they dont get him a muthafuckin thing… well… maybe some prayer time before they eat over they momma house or some shit like that… but who do they get the gifts for? huh? ………other muthafuckas…… muthafuckas who probably aint did 1/245th the fuckin good jesus did in his short time on this earth. what do they do for jesus? not a muthafuckin thing… or what they see fit to do… which is damn near just as fuckin bad… lol shit, muhfuckas DONT EVEN ASK LOL. THE NERVE!!! i swear… what if jesus came to YO ass on YO birthday and was like… ” look… happy birthday right… but this is what imma do… imma go to your friends house and give him YOUR gift! No… not your best friend… the friend you like the LEAST and only give a phone call to on THEY birthday… if that! you know which friend im talkin about right? the one you wont pick up the phone sometime when you see they name on the caller id. yea… them. anyway… happy brithday… just came by to tell you what was crackin.” Would NOT you be PISSED tha fuck off lol. Let that shit happen to the wrong christain or just wrong muhfucka period… im willing to bet my fuckin car that if jesus did that shit for like a month… to say… all the EVIL muthafuckas born in march ( ha ha… cheap shot ) that jesus would get cussed the fuck out… a couple times lol.. somebody would do it… that is just some plain skanless shit lol. Chirstmas is truely some twisted ass shit… if i was Jesus… lol muhfuckas would have HELL to pay ( im sorry that cracked me the fuck up… no pun intened lmao ) anyway… but yea… jesus is the only single person that has the right to be pissed on christmas.
lol thas probably why its hella fuckin cold every where ( see my post on hell ) on christmas… well… except in some spots… i know in pheonix sometime it be like 70 or 80 degrees… muhfuckas be throwing christmas pool parties n shit… picture that? lol
and now onto the groups. The first group of people that have the GOD GIVEN RIGHT to be pissed the FUCK off on chirstmas are:
1. People who dont celerbrate chirstmas. Why? because gotdammit!!! every muthafuckin thing is fuckin closed!!! PLUS! there be a buncha BULLSHIT on tv… before and AFTER the sporting events. There is green and red shit everywhere… THAT SHIT BARELY FUCKIN MATCHES!!!! people pretend to be happy and merry n shit and wear dumb ass santa hats…. for what? you aint santa… you dont even beleve in that muthafucka!!! ( FYI 5 — just go. ). people ALWAYS ask you the same dumb ass fuckin questions… why dont you celerbrate christmas? dont you miss it? well do you accept presents? ( FYI 6 — …… ). there are corny fuckin christmas commercials on all tha fuckin time… toy commercials come on during prime muthafuckin time… shit… if i wanted to see the latest cool toy, id wake my black ass up early on saturday morning and fuckin watch cartoons!! i mean shit… i havent celerbrated chirstmas since like the 4th fuckin grade… christmas was just fuckin WENDSDAY to me… shit… i had to fuckin work!! ( i work for me… but still… it was just another day is what im saying ) a muhfucka cant get a muthafuckin thing on christmas except GAS and fucking Asian food ( including dounuts… hey… they own a ganga donut spots… and half of em be open lol ). every gotdamn thing else is fuckin SHUT DOWWWNNNN… u can fuckin forget it. i TRIED to sleep thru christmas… and it damn near worked except the laker game came on… so i got up and went to my parents house to watch the game with my family and my cousin… tried to go get something to eat before the game? yea great idea… no… BAD I-fucking-DEA… every mutahfuckin thing is gotdammit closed… we was hungry as fuck and drove ALL around alta loma and rancho cucamonga looking for something that was open…and ended up finding this EXPENSIVE ass asian food place ( shit was good tho… but not quite worth the 30 fuckin bucks ) on archibald. we fuckin missed most of the first quarter fuckin around trying to feed our selves… on what to us was any old day!!! that shit pissed me off… and i think i have the muthafuckin right to be pissed off!! Simply because… even tho i dont celerbrate that bullshit… i still have to be affected by the muthafuckas that do… and the shit they pull…
2. the unfriendly muthafuckas who have to work on christmas… lol shit… who wants to work on christmas? hell yea these people got the right to be pissed… some of the most skanless customer service ever goes down on christmas lol them gas station attendants be HOT lol and could giva fuck about 10 on 6 lol. shit… chances are these muhfuckas dont like they gotdamn job to begin with… then have to BE AT WORK… ON CHIRSTMAS…at a job you hate?? pssshh if it was me??? ( and i celerbrated this shit ) fuck your 10 on 6… fuck your water, durritos and hostess… fuck you… fuck your off day… fuck your cash back… fuck your service with a smile muthafucka… get the fuck out of my muthafuckin face!! ( if it was me im sayin lol ) actually… half the people who got stuck with a skanless ass work schedule and had to work on christmas do be in some what of a merry mood… but half of THOSE people have there whole shit FUCKED UP by some asshole who was pissed off at they fuckin gift… or some poor dumb ass who was super pissed that nobody liked the gifts they gave and was shitty to the clerk and now….. EVERY fuckin body is pissed.
So fuck christmas a couple of days ago… and fuck it some more today!
1. i only have like…. 2 real ex girlfriends… and 2 puesdo ex girlfrieds. As in these two girls were really never my offical girlfriends… but they might as well have been… but for whatever reason, no titles were given out. but i saw them for a long time. Actually… now that i think about it… i saw them longer than i saw the two girls that were REALLY my girlfriends… i may be onto something?
yes i know… im skanless… whatever… shutyaassup.
2. Dear Crazy Muthafuckas,
please do not blame me for your forth coming chirstmas related, crazy muthafucka, murders. i was simply saying im kinda surprised… i am not saying go out and do the shit… i mean… there is another alternitive. Such as; just dont celerbrate chirstmas lol. its easier than jail time… or having to hide the murder weapon and a buncha bullshit. not to mention… its cheaper, why not keep your money and get rid of the christmas headache huh? so yea… put the knife/gun/orwhateverthefuck down and move on to next year and tell everybody that they almost lost they life over 2002’s chirstmas and to count yo crazy muthafuckin ass out this next chirstmas.
3. yea yea yea i said so called… but i wont get into all that shit.
4. Dear Crazy Muthafuckas part 2,
doesnt this sound like a better answer? i mean… if you REALLY considered doing that… either you are truely fuckin crazy… or you are george from fuckin seinfield or some shit… either way… this way… you can still be fuckin crazy… and keep your not so shallow friends. isnt that better than a murderious, crazy muthafucka, rampage? lol
5. if you believe in santa clause and you are over the age of 10 ( and you shouldnt be reading this fuckin blogger any gotdamn way ), you are a muthafuckin idiot… plain and simple… hands down… no muthafuckin questions… you should have a fuckin dunce hat stappled to your fuckin head. or be forced to dress up like mase or nelly so everybody knows what the fuck they are dealing with… a gotdamn idiot!
6. Hell yea i accept gifts!!! im not one of the dumb fucks from number 5 lol… if you celerbrate christmas, you should know that christmas is about giving… not recieving… so… reguardless if i think christmas is a buncha bullshit or not… if YOU think its not, YOU should get me a present because thats what YOU believe in. Shit… you got all your other friends one… you SHOULD have got them one reguardless if they were gonna get you one or not. So you should get me one as well. and NO… your NOT forcing your beliefes on me because you got me a gift for christmas. to me… i accepted your gift ( that shoulda been from the heart… thats what they made the shit up to be like ) on wendsday, which happens to be christmas… but shit… id accept gifts on ANY day of the week lol… who cares why you wanna give it… imma accept the shit. Shit… if you wanted to get me a computer or a gold watch or some shit on the grand wizards birthday… THANKS! lol shit.. who gives a fuck… its just ( whatever day the grand wizards birthday falls on lol ) to me. and thats all it will ever be. i see it my way…. you see it yours. it would be wrong of me to deny you the right to give me a present. im not too good for a gift on wendsday… or any other day of the week. shit… thas the way i see it lol. shit… if your in the gift giving mood… because its the gift giving season… but you know i dont celerbrate christmas… FUCK IT… give it to me on tuesday or on thursday… fuck it… i dont care lol.