Uhmah Park

You Niggas Talk Shit Then Abandon Ship!!!

Anybody who doesnt know what im referencing… its that old Busta Rhymes from his first album. Busta and Rampage. You know… before Spliff Star? Or maybe niggas wasnt Bussa Buss fans back then. who knows.

None the less… great track. Nothing phenomenal, but still.. great.

Anyway… I am here today (edit — this took two days to write, i got sleepy last night lol )… writing on my blogger because over time, me and my cousin have developed the unquie sense of when to say fuck it. Its time to shut the day down. Just turn the fuck around and go the fuck home. For example, lets say me and this nigga plan on going over to a party some where. But in route to the party, a series of events crack off that are less than favorable. Some of them might suck, some of them might fuck shit up for you, some of them might not suck all the way and not fuck shit up, but its just screaming “shit isnt going right!”.

Today, ive been kind of irritated all day. Actually, ive been irritated since yesterday during the day at some point. I dont know why or how, dont ask me what im mad at really. Ive just been irritated as fuck. Like my patients with shit have been short. And ive been kinda snappy. Ive been trying not take it out on anybody, and ive been doing a pretty good job. But, like i said… a niggas patients is done, i know this, and ive been just trying to avoid alot of personal contact for a while.

But tonite my cousin JD wanted me to roll to Jamaica Gold with him and his sister KiKi. Cool. Honestly didnt want to go, but JD ran that VICIOUS guilt trip on me either last week or two weeks before, and that shit has stuck with me every since lol. ( yes i am capable of feeling bad about shit lol — guilt? not so often, if ever, far and few in-between and shit lol) So this nigga tells me he is about to leave the house, he stays about an hour away. I half step like a muhfucka on getting ready to go, im sober as a bird mind you. But for whatever reason… if get blowed, im very motivated to do alot of shit, depending on my energy level. Trying to leave though, and I cant find all kinds of shit. Eventually though, i found all the shit i was looking for. I go to the fuckin bank, MY Banks ATM, and the machine doesnt wanna fuckin work. Sigh, ok… ill go over to the BofA machine, pay the two fuckin dollars, and used that piece of shit. MY MISTAKE! First of all… id like to take this moment right here to say FUCK Bank Of America for the rest of the time they do business, like… even if i die n shit… fuck them still till they go under, i cant no stand them bastards. Anyway, i buss my lil transaction or what have you, the shit gave me my money… but umm hey machine… where the fuck is my gotdamn bank card? what the fuck is wrong with you? Why are you half stepping on giving me my card back? Um, no card comes out… i start hitting the machine n shit… trying to poke my keys in the slot n shit. I even took out an old card i wasnt using no more, and put that in. It went in, it came out. But the card i NEEDED didnt.
SON OF A BITCH!!!!!!!!!

With out my card im basically fucked, i couldnt even call the bank to get a new card, because the number, to report it lost or stolen or some shit.. because the number….. is ON THE FUCKING CARD! no problem though, ill just called trusty ol 411. Information! The first lady i talked to i had to cuss out. I admit, i may have been a little short tempered with her, but she wanted to act stupid, so i had to cuss her ass out. “the bank you stupid bitch, the muthafuckin bank! is it that got damn hard, you remedial fuck!” yea… it got kinda bad. But she was fuckin dumb, and i was HOTTER than two Eskimos fuckin in leather jump suites in the middle of the dessert. So i finished insulting the first dumb bitch i got on the phone, the the next lady, i asked for damn near the same shit, and she was with it. Gave a nigga the number he needed.
Im on the phone with my bank, tell them what happen. They will have a nigga another card by tuesday. Good shit! so thats cool…

I get to the club, pay for parking, JD and KiKi are a couple spots over from where i am, waiting on a nigga. We exchange greetings and walk on over to the club.

We hit the line about 11:20 pm. Come 11:40, we hadnt moved much, and said fuck it… this line aint movin, its gonna take forever to get up in there. Club out here close at 2 am, which didnt leave us much time to have a good time. So we bounced, back to the car. JD the miracle blunt roller rolls a blunt in the dark with his eyes closed n shit, all the while cracking jokes. And its time to smoke!

we are in a parking lot, on a roof, with alot of other parked ass cars. posted, minding our own business. Chopping it up n shit. And i reminded JD of a mini adventure we had experienced some time ago, because i was reminded by the event by something over in the parking lot, i dont remember what… JD knew what i was talking about, we were laughing about the shit then started explaining the whole event to KiKi, Blow by blow………………

A long time ago… some years back. Like in-between 1999 and 2001, My cousin JD and I were in Pasadena in possession of something that its against the law to have in your possession. Not a major amount of it. But enough, niggas would have did time over that shit though.

Its around 2 or 3 in the morning, and we are rollin down the street, smoking, and the police pass us going the opposite direction. Nothing to worry about, them niggas aint looking at us. Time out, maybe i was wrong… because these niggas busted a big ass U-Turn in the middle of the street.
Well alright then, time to panic? Um maybe.. im pretty blowed, JD is way more blowed than i am ( and i was pretty fuckin faded ) and if we get pullled over, we are getting searched no questions ask. Mainly because we was hotboxing lol. If we would have gotten pulled over, fuck it, we was going to jail that day lol.

So now the police are behind us… what is we gone do? Oh shit? There goes Roscoes chicken and waffles. Nigga we gonna pull and roscoes and post up for a second. Good Plan! For the moment at least. We pull in. We park. We take a peek back. Did the po follow us? NO! YES! success! Alright… next move? Well, we cant just leave now, if the po see us back on the street, they might know we was trying to dip they asses. Sigh… we are gonna have to go in roscoes and get something to eat, fuck it.
We get out the car.. still smoking… passing the j back and forth, about to roll up in roscoes. I look over to my left, you know just keeping a look out. There go some headlights… damn, it would suck if the po decided to turn around and pull up here. I have the J in my hand, i take a hit, when the smoke clears from in front of my face and i peek from behind the cloud. Who do i see? The muthafuckin police…. NIGGA FUCK!!! Ok, maybe im trippin. I double check to make sure… NIGGA FUCK!!! its definitly the po.

Oh Oh Shit!! Alright, what do i do. i need to get rid of this joint. And im still holding a gang of smoke. Me and this nigga JD are shook pretty bad lol. I dont remember if i informed that nigga JD or not… im thinking i didnt, because i didnt want the po to see me blow out all that smoke. I went over by the trash and was pretending to be taking a piss in the coner, something i thought was tottally fuckin legal at the time. So im over facing the wall, looking like im taking a piss, but im over here trying to put this joint out desprately! I finally get that shit put out, and ok… im pretending to piss, pretending to piss. I sat the J on the little mini wall i was facing. Like ok, imma get this shit when these niggas pass me and go in rocoses. Then……. CLICK. I heard the muthafuckin police light turn on, and the dark that once provided me with just a little bit of cover was now gone. And i hear a womens voice say to me “Hey! do you WANT a ticket?!?!”
I turned around like OH! oops… my bad. I aplogize to the lady cop and go over to JD and we walk into Roscoes. JD asked me what happen to the joint, and i had to inform that nigga that i got scared and ditched the joint. I thought they was about to roll up on a nigga… and i was trying to let the smoke out a lil at a time, fuck it i paniced lol. sigh… oh well. So me and this nigga is sitting there, trying to figure out what we are going to do next… are we going to order anything foreal? Just get some soda or something and bounce? Or…. well fuck, much to our collective dismay, the muthafuckin police walked into mutahfuckin roscoes. Ok now admittedly, we thought before, we might be a bit paranoid. The po wasnt REALLY following us, they just happen to want to go to roscoes too… they didnt make that U-Turn because they wanted to fuck with us. But after these niggas walked into muthafuckin roscoes, we was convinced they was after us. We just KNEW they wanted to at least question us or search or something. Sigh, this is some bullshit. So we are trying to play it cool to the very end. Just sit there like everything is all fucking good. And much to our delight, the po went and sat ALL the way across the diner! Good shit! But whats the plan now?

Fuck it… we are just gonna order something to eat since we are blowed anyway, and hopefully they will leave. We order our food, crack jokes on the waitress, then other people in the resturant. We just had to pretend like them niggas wasnt there, and prey that they didnt come over and bother us. We did just fucking that. We got our food and ate slow as fuck! About half way through our meal, i guess the po either got tired of waiting for us, or they was done and ready to get back on the beat or some shit. Either or worked for me. We finished eating, and took another big sigh, preying that the po wasnt outside lurking for us still.

We get outside, look around kinda… ok nigga… so far so good. Get to the car… look around some more, check around the building. YES! these niggas left. Then i had a thought, i wonder if that joint is still over there? I went back and checked. There it was. Chillin’ waiting for a nigga. YES! hoped back in the car. And now all we need to do is make it to the freeway and we will be good. We take it easy on the streets, and dont spark the j. Get on the freeway and coast clear out of pasadena. Now we can smoke… everything is all good. Situation avoided and clear.

……. so we are in the middle of reliving that story, damn near to the end, JD is about to pass me the blunt ( that i hadnt hit yet ) and as i reach of the blunt…. i notice headlights. And i say to JD, hold up dogg… i hear a car and it KINDA sounds like its trying to creep. I told JD, somebodies comin… and i think to myself. Damn it would suck if it was the police. And of course, it was indeed the fuckin police.

Son of a muthafuckin bitch!!! Ok, well maybe these niggas wont bother us. Fat fucking chance! I think as soon as they hit the corner they saw us… Kiki had a drink, and little did JD and i know ( althought we would have been on the same shit ) that she sat that shit down right behind JD and walked the fuck off some where. But we didnt notice because we were trying to figure out what to do with the blunt. Im like nigga drop the blunt, which JD was reluctant to do because… i mean hey… you only do that if you HAVE to. And he HAD to, because the police shined the gotdamn car light on us bright as fuck. And then, out comes a voice from the cop car. “Hey, you guys drinking any alcohol over there?”
We respond, “Naw…….”
Cop says, ” Are you sure?” and starts to get out of the car! AH FUCK! so the blunt is sitting there buring on the ground and i had to put it out. WITH OUT looking like i had something going on. JD might challenge the fact that i looked super suspicious, but i beg to differ! Anyway… so in the course of me trying to put the blunt out. And JD says that as the cop was walking up there was a BIG ASS cloud of smoke that poped up that i didnt even fuckin notice lol. Mainly because i noticed that there was a second police officer coming up behind us, and both of these muthafuckas got they flash lights on trying to see what they can see. So after the cop asked us if we were fucking sure that we werent fuckin drinking… which pissed me off, because a nigga was ALREADY fucking irritated. They walk up on us n shit, flash lights searchin and what do these muthafuckas see? Kiki’s gotdamn big ass smirnoff ice behind JD. Posted, just sitting there. And he asked us, “So this isnt yours?”
Me and this nigga JD turn around and saw that shit there and was instantly shocked and overwhelmed with modation ( moe – dey -shun ). I couldnt have felt more fucking moded. I just knew shit was about to go downhill from there. We responded back to the officers trying to convince them that we didnt even know that shit was there… WHICH we fucking didnt. But we knew whos it was lol.

So then the cop is like “So what are you guys doing out here?”
I tell him “Nothing, we just left the club because the line was too long and it wasnt moving… you know how it goes.”
The cop comes back ” oh… well we got a report of somebody throwing beer bottles off the side of the building”
I turn around, and sho nuff.. there are a few broken 40’s shattered on the other parking structure below ours. Well gotdamn. I remember thinking to my self, now how in the fuck are we gonna stop these niggas from thinking it was us? The cop goes on to ask, “You guys wasnt throwing bottles were you?”
JD and I both respond back with an emphatic ass “HELL NAW!” like man, thats a waste of good alcohol! What the fuck would we do that for?
I guess the way we came at him, he was convinced… and he takes Kiki’s smirnoff and tips it over to empty it out. Around this time Kiki reappears n shit. All the while i have my foot over the blunt, or where i think it is, because its dark and i cant see shit, except for light at and around my fucking feet.
so at this point there is a little bit of silence, and i really dont want these niggas to start asking any more questions, so i start in with questions of my own… “say, umm do you know where there is a TGIFridays around here?” and lucky for me these are two very friendly police officers because they really started to think hard. At this point i started telling them about how long the line was, and how we drove all the way out here, and we are just looking to do a lil something before we go back home and what not.
The officers ended up knowing were a TGIFridays was, and suggested chilis which was closer. Fine police work! As they started to walk off, and we are just maybe starting to think shit is clear. One of them stops and asks about the car i was driving. Sigh… a nigga like me does not have a drivers licence ( long story ) so when the officer said “Hey, is this your car?” i was like AHHH fuck! I claim the car… its a 2005 maxima ( Not mines… syls. sigh… my car passed away…….. and i dont wanna talk about it ) with the funny ass sun roof window thing at the top. I dont know what the fuck nissan is marketing that shit as. Anyway, he started asking me about the funny ass sun roof window strip thing, and i make a couple of jokes… keep the convo going. Eventually he leaves. I DAMN NEAR offered to let him look inside the car n shit, till i remembered there was a fucking blunt sitting on top of the cup holder. If he would have looked in there…. the blunt wasnt cracked open yet or something, it was still in the plastic, but that would have lead to more questions.
Sigh… so eventually the officers walk off, and ANOTHER gotdamn cop car comes up behind them. And im just shaking my fucking head like this is fucking wack man lol. The officers get together, talk for about 10 to 15 min… and leave.

And here we go, looking for the blunt. Sigh, i trampled the fucking blunt damn near to death. But fuck it, we ended up smoking anyway. And then decided to say fuck this night, nigga its time to make a b line for the house. no kicking it, not trying to do all kind of other shit. Its time to call it a day. Alot of times, when you try to force shit, and just dont let shit come to you. You will end up fucking up some how. Like shit is just going fucked up, and you still try to make the best of the outting, and by the end of the night, shit just get worse and worse and worse till youre really fucked in the game.

So thats why its important to know when to say when. When to just say abandon ship. Its time to end this day. That shit has happen to me several times. Sometimes early in the fucking day. Ill just shut it down and wont go out until something good happens in my favor lol. Wont go to the store, wont go get nothing to eat. Nothin. There have been times where i shut my day down and refused to leave the house or do anything that would fuck me up at like 2 pm. A nigga will just be done for the day. There have been times where i still had shit to do. Will turn right the fuck around and go home.

I remember one time, when i was staying in fontana, me jd and rj was out in LA just hangin out… smokin in the car n shit, in the streets going to different people house, going different places n shit. Got a early start on the day, and we was on crenshaw… on the way to the homies house. Ended up getting pulled over. Thats a whole seperate OJ almost went to fucking jail story. We got pulled over, i got a ticket for some bullshit. Whatever… i kept it movin to the homies house. i was over that nigga house for like 30 min, and then we are in the wind again. i was on Marine, making a left on to Crewnshaw, and at the very same time, a police car was making a right on to Marine. I look at them, they look at me… i get to making my left turn n shit, not paying these niggas NO mind, but they are MEAN muggin me hard. Sigh… fuck they are gonna pull us over. Sure the fuck did too. And damn near stuck guns in our faces. They let us go, i showed them my ticket from earlier. As soon as them muthafuckas turned around to go back to the car, i was like fuck it, im going home. I got pulled over twice in the same fucking hour, nigga this day can only get worse, and i dont wanna chace it. It had to be like 4 or 6 oclock. And at the time i stayed an hour away from LA. We were all in agreeance it was time to shake back to the house. Nothing else terrible happen that day, lucky.

I hate that shit though… although, its more than likely saved my Black ass more than a few times. When youre losin, you just need to pack it in, cut your loses and live to live another day. When shits going bad, you never know how the day will end.


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