Uhmah Park

Month: May 2008

Yea, I’m Laughin

So earlier, Resha (my joke/cruelty enabler)  tells me about some lady that died at her wedding during the first dance. My first reaction was, like DAMN! thats hella rough!! I cant even imagine going through no shit like that! Then there was a video attached to it… click here. Well, the first thing I noticed is that the lady that died was kinda big. So I was thought to my self…. hm, wonder how she died? Unfortunatly I couldnt hear shit with the video, but Resha did go on to tell me that ol girl had diabeties. So the first […]

In This Picture: Young OJ

This picture was taken probably in 1999 or 2000. By who? Psh, Could have been alot of people. Maybe John, judging on the height of the photo, or it could have been RJ. Who knows. I remember so much about the things in this picture. This is basically the house I did all of my growing up in. You might be asking your self, ummm OJ, why are there no doors on the cabinets? Well, sigh. My parents (my mom) decided that they were going to refinish the cabinet doors. Why had gotten tile in the kitchen and they (mom […]

The Trife Life Memoirs: Janet Jackson and Self Smite

The forthcoming story, is an account by my cousin JD. But before you get started, let me clear up something. The girl I was “kicking it with” was not my girlfriend at the time. We never got that far. Now that I think about it, there aint no way in the hell lol. I was messing with this girl by chance. I was at ihop one day, with my little 11 year old cousin, and I think this girl helped me once or twice before. But I thought to myself, she has a decent enough rack… let me see if […]

This Is What Happens When: You Wake Up High And Drunk, Still

This is what happens when you wake up high and drunk… still. Because you were getting high and drunk as hell maybe a hour or so earlier and you thought you was about to sleep it off, but you woke up prematurely for some reason. This is what happens: video://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OsG0_w69Ykc You know what I think happen? I think maybe if he could possibly fly, his powers were stripped from him when he made the fucking bird noise. LMAO Muthafucka super man could fly, he didn’t “caw” lmao. This commercial is the fucking GUTS!!! The first time I saw it, it […]

Articles from the future NOW: Jalen Rose Gets Fired For Selling Final Calls at Espn

Bristol, Connecticut – Jalen Rose was fired the other day for what was referred to as “Aggressive and forceful sales tactics of religious materials” at the ESPN Studios. The retired nba star apparently has recently converted to the Nation of Islam, and like most new NOI members, they are enthusiastic about pushing their new found knowledge, wisdom, awakening and so forth. There are several complaints and eye witness reports of Rose knocking on the dressing room doors of the Black news anchors at ESPN, in a Jehovah Witness like fashion and delivering his message of Black empowerment, in the same […]

Tehran to clinton: Bitch what?!?

Hilary is refuses to stop fucking up. Recently the leader of Iran went to the UN bitching and whining about Hilary saying that she would obliterate Iran if they dared attacked israel. Obliterate?!?! Doesn’t that seem kinda rough? Why didn’t she just say “id cut Tehrans fucking dick off!”… Might as well lol damn. Im starting to think the clintons say whatever the fuck they feel like lol. What does it say when republicans rather run against this person? Republicans who have clearly been up to no good openly. What kind of sense does it make for the opposition to […]

Involuntary Suicide Partners

Earlier today, I was on the phone with Resha, and she was telling me how she was looking at some poor seeing eye dog. He was stuck in the rain, looking depressed as fuck that his owner had him in the rain. Stuck, wet and miserable looking. And that got me to thinking… What if the dog was really depressed and was like fuck it. Im just about to walk out in the middle of the street and get hit by this bus. I don’t feel like living no more. I hate being a seeing eye dog. So the dog […]

Involuntary Suicide Partners

Earlier today, I was on the phone with Resha, and she was telling me how she was looking at some poor seeing eye dog. He was stuck in the rain, looking depressed as fuck that his owner had him in the rain. Stuck, wet and miserable looking. And that got me to thinking… What if the dog was really depressed and was like fuck it. Im just about to walk out in the middle of the street and get hit by this bus. I don’t feel like living no more. I hate being a seeing eye dog. So the dog […]