I hate halloween. The only consession that halloween offers is all the females dressed up all slut like. But a quick BOOOOO for all you girls who try to dress up like sluts but still fail miserably and or the girls who should be trying to be slutty at all because its gross, you make things harder than they have to be. You know you suck. Stop already this shit is suppose to already be scary enough. We dont know you fucking things up further.
That being said. My cousin JD has the same disdain for halloween like I do. Here are his thoughts :
What in the world is it with Halloween and work?Â Why do people think just because its Halloween its ok to play dress up in a place of business?Â Lets get something straight in my own opinion and that’s all this is, my own opinion.Â But if you are over the age of 9, and you can’t wait to play dress up, and you do it at work, you’re a loser.Â If I ran a business, I go ahead and allow people to dress up for Halloween, but only because I want to get an accurate viewÂ of the people who I don’t want to promote, and who I might want to take aÂ second look at as to whether or not that person should be employed by me.Â Cuz heaven forbid if I was on the verge of giving Frankenstein, a big raise and promotion.Â Just wont cut it, sorry.Â Look its not to late you can go home now and change into your regular work gear and everything will be fine. I know there are a bunch of people at my old job all dressed up right now, and some of them are probably reading this. Hey J , why are you being such a jerk why are you begin such a buzz kill, it’s a joke its funnyâ€¦Â Â
Um no its not, it’s only funny to the other people over 8 years old that are wearing costumes.
Understand, I still like you guys, but you are playing dress up and you probably all have kids that are too old to be playing dress up.
“Hey J lighten up come on now, your pissing me off…”Â Â Â Â I don’t need to lighten up you need to act your age. I can’t get any good service because you are to focused on how good you look in your vampire outfit.
I can’t even go anywhere today because I don’t want to see grownups who are supposed to be conducting business and there in costumes.Â I need to go to the bank today, I need to go cash a check before other checks start bouncing all over the place, no thanks ill wait till Thursday.Â I’m not having some dope dressed up like cricket handling my monetary affairs and talking to me like they aren’t dressed up like some jack ass.Â Gotta go to the grocery store, no thanks, I’d rather starve.Â And God forbid that I need to go to the emergency room for something, I don’t want Batman looking me over, or Cleopatra jamming me with a needle, and consistently missing the vein because she is too focused on how she looks in her costume.
J what if your wife was a dentist and she walked out in her full Wizard of Oz gear?Â Â Damn, nowÂ Ill admit that puts you in aÂ tough spot and I’m not gonna call my wife a loser, but I would reconsider my marriage of 10 years.
Let me give you an appraisal of some of the stuff I have dealt with at work:
There is a gypsy drinking a latte and pecking at her keyboard probably while making personal calls.Â An Asian man dressed up as a pimp.Â A dude wearing a WW2 military uniform shooting rubber bands and paperclips at people, doing barrel rolls in between cubicles and a woman dressed up as a witch handing out candy making jokes about how witch rhymes with bitch, and how her husband might think she is the latter. Â Â I have seen a boss and his assistant dressed as Cobra Kai (from the karate kid movie).Â I wish someone dressed up as Mr. Miyagi would have karate chopped them in the gotdamn throat.Â Good fuckin grief someone shoot me in the face right now please.Â There is a California raisin on the phone currently helping members of Kaiser Permanente obtain appointments for surgical procedures.Â I wonder how comfortable they would be if they knew a California raisin is responsible for there healthcare
Look you guys might hate what I’m saying, but I’m just saying what everybody is thinking, you hate me now, but you’ll thank me later, I’m doing you a favor.Â Im helping you not look like a dork for one day out of the year.
Ok I went to the bank, at lunch and I wish I took my own advice, I just got a deposit handled by Richard Simmons, and if the gotdamn frizzy ass wig, and tight candy stripe shorts weren’t enough, he even did the lisp.Â See I’m not going anywhere, Richard Simmons taking my deposit just ruined my day, I rather have damaged my credit, even more, and bounced checks, than hand over money to Richard Simmons like I just did. Â It ruined my whole day.Â Damn it.
On that note I cant wait to take my daughter trick or treating, she is gonna be a cat, she is 4.Â She has 5 more years she better enjoy while she can.Â And I better not see any dumb ass teenagers running around with their pillowcases, slapping on a wig and calling it a costume in an effort to score some free candy.Â I’m punching those kids right in the neck.Â And I’m gonna have on my George Bush mask so they can’t tell who did it.
Â This nigga is hilarious lol. Gotdamn.
Next, Id like to share this video with you lol
LMAO!!!! This was the funniest shit Ive seen in a long time!! Gotdamn, you cant scare niggas like that and not have to pay some kind of price normally. Youre gonna either hurt or embarrassed, or both. As in the case with this idiot lol.
See, this is what happens whens Black people are killed off early in horror movies. Little white kids grow up and think they can just scare any random nigga aint there wouldnt be some kind of price to pay. From the bullshit theyve been seeing. Nigga get scared, nigga usually catch some kind of blunt and or sharp object to the head, nigga dead.
When, in real life it wouldnt exactly go down like that. It would be more like this video above. That muthafucka could have popped out with a knife he STILL would have gotten knocked the fuck out!! lmao gotdamn!!
He MELTED Back into the trash can! FUCK! The lid closed and everything!!! There wont be anything funnier than this for a while. Let me break this down for you, and why its SOOOO gotdamn funny to me.
– First of all, this Nigga is dark as shit, and his name is Tyrone. So, here we have Tyrone who ISNT going trick or treating, WONDER WHY!? Guess you got your answer lol.
– Next, basically what happen here as a end result, the Black guy knocked out some white guy who tried to play a trick on him. HA! He got what he deserved lol.
– Next, let this be a lesson to white people every where. Scaring Black people is never a good thing. You muthafuckas didnt SCARE us over here lol. What the fuck did you THINK was gonna happen? Well if you cant put it together, I’ll tell you. If you scare a Black person, 1 of 2 things will more than likely happen. 1. You might get fucked up. 2. We might run and you will be left there by your gotdamn self looking foolish. Its really a 50 – 50 either or. And it breaks down a few different ways. Some niggas will try to run first, and if they cant run, then they might fuck you up. Some niggas swing first, ask questions later. Some niggas, like me, will do a combonation of both. Ill hit you and wont wait around for you to hit the floor lol. Then I’ll try to find out what happen lol. Fuck the dumb lol.
– Next, this nigga hadÂ his back turned to the trash can, and his hands behind his back. So essentially, he turned around and had to swing his fist ALL the way around his body, stepped into the punch and slept that man lol. And he just melted back in the trash can, lid closed and everything lmao
– This man homeboys was some bitches lol. So the Black guy socks the would be frightener in the eye. He then backs up a few steps after serving up hot fire to this guys face. The camera follows him back, and what do you see in the background. His homeboys walkin off looking over their shoulders, laughing acting like they didnt have shit to do with it. Fearing they might be next on be put on the ZZZZZ Express. But they was laughin as they walked off. They pan back over to the trash can. The muthafucka with the mic didnt even look in the trash can to see if ol boy was alright! Nobody did! Everybody immediately broke out n shit lol.
Way too gutty!