September 2007 - Uhmah Park

Juaves Revenge is the name of my fantasy football team. And one day, I was going through some things. I was kinda blowed. I came across this elephant skull, then I had the idea to do this shit here.

And since apparently Im the worst person there ever was on the face of the fucking planet ever in some peoples eyes out this muthafucka, Ive had a bit more time on my hands. And Ive been working on this slowly and finished it sunday while I watched football and, smoked a blunt (or two).

Anyway, last year… I made my triumphant return to fantasy football. Ive been running a league on yahoo for a few years, I won a couple of championships in a couple of legues, but two years ago I retired because I really didnt have time and I wasnt all that interested for whatever reason.
But last year, I made my triumphant return like I said before and like every year Ive played fantasy football My team was named the Uhmah Park Pachyderms. Yes, after this lovely place you see before you here. lol
Last year, my team was stacked, I even had LT n shit. Yes, as in last year when he went nuts! Everything was going great, till about week three. Then some how, out of no where, the fucking Yahoo account that Ive had for years gets hacked. MIND you this is the second yahoo account of mine Ive gotten hacked. You wont believe how mad a nigga was. I cant help it, Im hella competitive. Sigh, so I couldnt log in and change up my line up, make trades or anything. I tell my friends that im in the league with (I was just in one last year) that my shit got hacked or whatever. These niggas is like damn, sorry to hear that yap yap yap. Some weeks pass by and then one of the homies is telling me how niggas are practically jumping over my dead corpse in circles. Like hey nigga we are whooping your ass. These niggas even went as far as to talk shit that I wouldnt even see. Knowing a nigga was gonna copy and paste the shit to a nigga. So they did it in essence, just to fuck with me. Niggas aint shit, I swear.

So now this year… Im out for revenge. Which is why there is a bloody elephant skull plastered on this bitch. My Pach was ruthlessly slaughtered by my janky ass friends with out mercy. And then they laughed about it while I was all super defenseless n shit. Bastards!
For those who arent knowing “Retaliation, Revenge and Get Back” was the name of Daz first solo album. That shit was bangin. Ive always loved the title. Seem perfect for the occasion if I do say so myself. Of course youll notice I put the words in the order I felt like.

All them niggas got this shit here in they mail box the other day lol.


The KillaCal.

Nominated for a Blackbloggeraward. Way to go!

Although the nigga didnt win for what he was nominated for. But high for for being nominated anyway. Life time achivement award I think it was. Pretty dope… I remember when he started blogging. Before blogger got bought by google. And I used to argue with this girl he used to talk to in his comments, because we had beef.

Anyway. For those dont know, Calvin is one of my first internet friends. Ive been knowing this man for like 10 years. Since his freshman year at Morehouse I think. So from time to time he tends to be the benificerary of a blowed idea I might have.
I forget exactly what I was going for at first, but this was actually it when I finished. I fucked up on the first round.

But… I do have a small confession. First of all, I didnt take that picture of the Golden Gate Bridge. Second, Calvin and I have a little back and forth about our birthdays, which is the better day and what not. See, he is a day older than me. He was born on May 26th.. me on the 27th. Of course he is standing solid on the perceived notion that his day is the better day. And Im sure I wont be able to get him to see things correctly (my way). And since Im competitive as fuck, and I love 1up’ing a nigga. I am the Champ of 1up’ing a nigga. Spite, revenge, pre-venge, retaliation, and get back are some of my favorite things. lol I really enjoy the shit, it puts a smile on my face, I get excited and happy when I come up with some bullshit. its great.
So, I tell this man calvin, that Im thinking I should redo his whole shit one day, and I asked the nigga what he was thinking he wanted (mind you the last version was pretty fresh, but became dated… to me). And he was telling me about how he wanted a bridge and some water going under it (since thats what his shits called). At first, like I said, I had some shit I was going to go with, then I remembered. There is a pretty famous standing bridge that was opened on a day that represents glory and greatness. May 27th, 1937. Because clearly, May 26th, 1937 just didnt crack. lol To prove my point a little bit further… five26.com ?? dont think so. doesnt have the same zing to it. They were smart to wait a day.

HA! I just cant help my self sometimes lol. I just had to make my mark … where ever possible the best way possible lol.


video://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xS3YDBR81uw

“Pluto is not in a zen place…” is what Sylvia said after seeing this video, shit was the guts lmao.

lol I hate bad ass little kids, and if they just happen to get fucked up for being bad, then oh well. lol

So apparently the little boy being chased kicked Pluto in the balls. Which, as far as im concerned, is unacceptable no matter what, in every circumstance. Even if youre right. Nothing justifies a kick in the nuts. (maybe unless pluto grabbed his ass or something lol)

Not that im above kicking a muthafucka in they nuts, My only thing is, Im gonna be prepaired to defend my self or proceed with kicking that persons ass all together.

My message here is… no matter what, even if youre right. If you kick a mutahfucka in they nuts, be prepared to fucking defend your self, or finish whooping ass, which ever. Dont fuckin run. I dont care how old you are. If you run, that means you know you did wrong. AND you did the shit on purpose! Fuck that lol. I personally wouldnt care, probably even if its my own damn child. I might be doing the ass whooping in that instance, but still, unforgivable crime in my eyes lol. I hope they gave that man the day off with pay and kicked the kid and his punk ass parental unit(s) out the fucking park lol


This is what happens when youre percived as being too wack AND lame for your own good.

“Somebody” put a hit on on this mans life. And for what? Because he’s wack? Thats a reason to take another persons life? Because he did Brittney Spears dirty? Because he is perceived as a male gold digger?

I honestly dont understand why people hate this man sooo damn much? What did he really do to deserve so much hate? Im sure its nothing that most people couldnt have avoided if they put a little effort into it. In other words, if you hate K-FizzelFashizzle, then its your fault, not his. Its really easy not to pay attention to tabliot news, I promise you that. Every time you log on to perezhitlon.com or defamer.com or imakemoneybecauseyoucaretoomuchandsodoi.com there is a little red x in one of the corners, of your browser so you can avoid all k-feezy news. Or just turn the gotdamn channel. But whatever… fuck it, you still hate K-Federally.

The other thing about this whole shit I dont understand is… How do people not see that When Brittney got with Kevin, Brittney wasnt stepping down just because she got with a dancer and she was the main talent. Brittney and Kevin have always been the same class of people. Fuck what class exactly that is. But my point is, they really do come from the same background, got a bunch in common, they the same kinda muthafucka. You can tell a number of ways.

1. she had TWO kids with this man.
2. She was all the way ready to support this man. not only support him, but his wack would be entertainment career as well.
3. everytime you saw her with him, they were HELLA happy. she was truely happy untilshe started cheating or whatever the problem was. im sure she didnt all of a sudden just realize he was a wack person or whatever his real problem is.

Fuck it, I could go on and on. But my point is still, they have always been the same person. What I STILL cant figure out is…. BRITTNEY IS REALLY JUST AS WACK AS HE IS AS AN ENTERTAINER! The only thing Brittney has on Kevin is she looks better half naked, even when/if she is a lil pudgy lol. She sing for shit, the level of her so called dancing skill is completely relative. Brittney is as good as her team is. Brittney wouldnt even be who she is if she just tried to come out before all the Disney Channel hype. If she just tried to come out with any one of her singles after the oops i did it again shit, she would currently be an after thought. There would be no great production and videos n shit. None of that.
Clearly these days though, her fucking team sucks all to hell, or she just stopped listening to muthaufckas lol. Im kind of in support of the latter, but in her defense, at some point every one get tired of being told what to do even if they are always wrong, at least they are making their own fuck ups and only they are responsible. I understand that fully.

I dont give a fuck how bad my life is going and how sick I am of muthafuckas telling me what to do though, im not gonna keep embarrassing myself. For instance. I eventually got spell check for my blog lol. Not that I use that shit all the time, but Im trying, fuck yall lol.

I actually almost feel sorry for Brittney sometimes, I couldnt take muthafuckas in my business all the time like that. Even worse is all these companies see her as a check lol. If you attach that woman to anything, youre getting fucking paid. To prove my point. MTV knew good and gotdamn well what they were gonna get when they booked Brittney to open for the VMA’s. Im not gonna fuckin lie, her performing was one of the MAIN reason I wanted to watch that historicly (for the last few years) boring ass show. Even I wanted to see what she was gonna do. And boy did we all get something to talk about lol. Poor girl lol. MTV may have fucked around and ended her damn career lol. But MTV got PAID off all the ratings and advertising doe they got for her opening the show im sure. Alls well that ends well I guess…

Having a hand in running a TV station myself, I cant say I wouldnt have done the same shit lol.


In China, the other day, a 30 year old man fucked around and dropped dead playing online video games. This man had apparently been playing for 3 days straight.
Maybe if the keyboard didnt contain lead based paint and materials he would have made it for 5 days? yes? who knows… But I do know this:

This is what happens when you have a little dick and nobody wants to fuck you.

This is also what happens when people dont have shit else to do because the government is hella controlling.

How is it that you really have nothing else going on in your life, that you can spend that much time playing an online game lol. Now I cant really talk shit. Ive managed to lose like 50 pounds damn near from working WAY too much. But I was making money. What was this mans excuse??
I love video games like the next guy, but gotdamn lol. What happens if he would have survived this stint, and won the game? YES! I won the game!!
I know every time Ive won a video game, that feeling of satisfaction only really stays around for like 15 min. And then Im left feeling pretty empty lol. Like this has rewarded me nothing but 15 min of satisfaction, but it took me like a month to finish the gotdamn game lol.

The only games I cant really say that about are games with story lines, its kinda like watching a movie. And you finish the game to see how it end. Those games and games where there is a high level of user on user competition. Im SUPER competitive lol. Im still not spending three gotdamn days non stop on my shit though lol.

Anyway… lol

Im going to start two new categories on this shit lol 1. “This is what happens when…” and 2. “The INS”

Im starting the This is what happens when category to provide me with a platform to say the most fucked up shit that comes to mind when I see something, and then want to provide a explanation as to why that particular thing might be going on lol.

And then some of you might be familar with The infamous INS (Insensitive News Syndicate), some of you same muthafuckas might be wondering what happen to that shit. Well… a nigga like me doesnt have all the time in the world to blog. AND the niggas that was suppose to help me, clearly have other shit to do and dont wanna eventually be paid to write fucked up shit that they watch on the news daily. Whatever. I cant do it by myself. But I can write shit on MY shit from time to time. And thats whats about to happen.

Joy!


First off I would like to say that I have a natural disdain for Notre Dame. I love to see them struggle and lose over and over again (although I did fall asleep on this game). So them starting off 0 – 3 is super fuckin great. Not only are they winless but touchdownless. Dont know how a “great offensive” coach is able to pull that one off 3 games into a season, but alright lol. Oh, and yea, fuck that guy too. He came from the patriots, and I hate them muthafuckas too. I wont even start talking about those CHEATING muthafuckas right now lol.

But I wanted to make a special effort to name todays game between Notre Dame and Michigan, “The Pathetic Bowl”. Two 0 – 2 teams, with a storied very hyped past going head to head to see which one is truely the most pathetic. And I wouldnt really be making this effort to pick on Michigan like this if it wasnt the homie Theo’s team, for one. And for two, they started off the season, ranked what? 5?? Some shit? I love to see the over hyped fall. They got their asses handed to them in the Rose Bowl with a slow ass team and a suspect D. And this year their defense couldnt be worse lol. Oh boy. lol

But good for Michigan for not being the most pathetic of the two. Honestly Id rather see Notre Dame go winless. But, lets keep things in perspective. This really only means that Appalachian State will come in and put a foot in Notre Dames ass. They should collectively feel good about that lol.

Oh boy its gonna be terrible to see USC play them lol. Shit aint gonna be fair at all lol.

I think the most interesting question in all of this is, Who else can Michigan beat? I havent checked out their schedule but I’d go out on a ledge and say a team with out a great defense. And maybe the offense can outscore the other offense, and they can get another win up there. lol

I feel sorry for Mike Hart, he’s pretty damn good. So are a few other people on the offense. But it stops about there, as far as talent goes on that team. Oh well. Excuse me, as I get back to routing for the Trojans, thank you.


Over at Engadget.com They were having a little caption contest with this picture. And I thought it would be pretty funny to add: “Other toys contain lead… this toy PUMPS YOU Full of LEAD! *evil robot laugh*”

Which brings me to my next point. America is under attack on a new front. From a brand new enemy ( hold up let me put on my GDub / Cheney suit ), The Chinese! Why do I say that? Well because I dont believe in coincidences all that much. I think its mighty strange that SO MANY damn toys just happen to contain lead. Its starting to feel like this shit is being done on purpose. Pretty soon little kids aint gonna have shit to play with. Kids are going to go to playing with (and fucking LOSING) their parents keys full time now lol.

I cant imagine what the Chinese might be up to with this. Of course, since I have on my Gdub suit, my first and initial thoughts are that they wanna kill Americans of course. But honestly I think its a little deeper than that. Maybe they want to get littleAmerican kids to play with lead based toys, catch cancer. And then tahdah? Some miracle way, the Chinese have the cure for cancer. Of course Americans would pay out the ass for a cure for cancer. Do you know what that would do for the Chinese economy?? They could just quit making bootleg shit and lead based toys cold turkey and live off that shit for as long as Americans smoke cigarettes and buy cheap shit.

Im really starting to think they have a cure for cancer, because… if there is a “problem” with lead based toys, then why dont we hear about Chinese people dropping dead from making the shit? Or is this a new thing, and they havent started dropping dead yet? One of these things have to be happening. Im convienced, I just dont know which one.


Just for the record, I dont think rape is funny. Not human rape at least lmao. Animal (on Animal) rape, however, something about that is kinda funny for whatever reason, I dont know what it is. Maybe because its really not rape but it looks like it? Anyway, Im rambling.

Some people might recognize that “You Dont Know What Rape Is Like, For Years, I Thought It Was Funny” line from Aqua Teen Hunger Force, The Hand Bannana Episode. The funniest shit ever. Let me show you:

video://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7O5xD4io-RY

Anyway I say that to say this… certain things are just kinda funny to dudes, that is no way shape or form funny to any female, ever under no circumstances. Not all the way funny tho, but it gets a chuckle out of you followed by a “ahhh thats fucked up” lol.

This episode and this line from this episode reminds me of some shit the homie said one day. I was telling him that somebody girl was trippin on them. And this guy responds with “you know what I do when my girl is trippin? I show her a picture of my ex all chopped up in the freezer, and i tell her… She didnt think she was replaceable either!”

I couldnt do nothing but laugh and say thats fucked up lol. I cant explain why thats funny like a muthafucka. But it just is lol. Not that Id ever say that shit to anybody. Maybe thats why its so damn funny. Or maybe because its so gotdamn ruff. But I think ruff shit is always funny. People getting fucked up is super funny to me. lol whatever.


Have you ever tried to call some one on their cell phone and heard the phrase: Please enjoy this music while youre party is reached.

This is potentially the worst shit ever. Because what happens when the song that comes on is some song you hate, and youre calling one of them muthafuckas that ALWAYS take a long time to pick they gotdamn phone. Or rarely at all ( im one of them niggas lol – AND i wont call yo ass back lol im as bad as JD Now. So now you gotta sit through up to 60 seconds plus of song you hate or dont like or irritates you.

And then of course from there, youre like… fuck calling this person. Primarily because you dont wanna have to possibly sit through that punk ass song again. And if youre one of those people who hate other people for doing shit you perceive as too lame (like 90% of the niggas I know)… chances are youre about to stop fucking with this person all together, over this wack song.
Kinda like this commercial right here:

video://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jOFWVR2YVwQ

PLAYA! get it right bitches! lmao hold up hold up.  I really do wish I would see a MAN with this tattoo foreal, I might just follow that muthafucka and heckle him until he fought me or until my heart was content and I said everything there was to possibly say about that man. Anyway….

Ive actually stopped talking to a few people because they were just way too wack for me, like seriously wack and downtrodden muthafuckas lol (a few of them people may be reading this right now lol – oops lol). But usually I let people slide on the wackness. I mean, who am I really to say I refuse to be your friend because you might really love a few things that are wack, or just have a wack ass opinion about shit in general, or you look super wack. One mans gold right? Who am I to say youre gold is too wack for me to be associated with lol.  I know that 90% of people I know, most of them do something super wack enough that if the shoes were reversed, they probably wouldnt fuck with me no more. But whatever, it is what it is.

There was this one girl, who announced on yahoo messenger that she loved that first Khia single, My neck, My Back. Yea, had to cut her off. Just like that nigga on the commercial. Fuck that. Dont think I didnt at least try to find out why she liked the song either. She said something like, its bumpin or some shit. I dont know… it was enough for me to peace her out for good. I can substain alot of ignornace. That shit though, is just going way too far.

But anyway… like I was saying, there is always the other side of that, whole enjoy the music while your party is being reached. You could actually like the song, and be singing the shit when the person picks up the fucking phone. lol which I could almost see putting on my phone just to catch niggas singing the shit when I pick up. And Id put some shit that people think they know the words to, and then when I pick up the phone, it will be like my own personal Singing Bee Show. lol
I have a homeboy that calls me the Pink Panther (for a buncha retarded reasons lol) and everytime I call this nigga, JUST ME, the fucking Pink Panther song comes on lol. Aint that about a bitch? lol muthafucka. I talk shit to that nigga every time I get a chance because of that shit lol bastard.