November 2004 - Uhmah Park

AH YEA!

My Raiders beat the broncHoes!!!! in the snow, no less… it goes down. they aint having the greatest season, but as long as they beat the fuckin brochoes… its alright. i DO realize they split the season series… and i DO realize that the raiders aint going to the playoffs. but! as long as they beat the gotdamn bronhoes at least once. im happy!

this shit damn near turned around my hohum mood… the game was pretty damn live, i missed parts of it going to mcdonalds lol. but i saw the win! fuck jason elam! fuck the bronhoes… shit… fuck denver as a city and colorodo as a muthafuckin state! what is it about colordo anyway? you ever notice some true bullshit happens in colorodo…. they got kids who think they are real life GTA characters n shit… now ill admit, i have wanted to snatch a muthafucka or two out his car… and run a redlight or three like it wasnt shit. but just take over the school? with automatic weapons n shit… just pickin muthafuckas off with ruthless aggression? no. and what was in the fuckin air in colorodo like last year that just made muthafuckas wanna rape a female? now… i still dont think kobe did that shit. but the university football team was on that shit lol. they thought pussy was just walkin around for the taking. they might as well had been clubin bitches over the head buckwild lol.
*THUD* ill take that pussy… thank you. drag her off by her hair n shit.
the only thing i can stand outta denver is the nuggets… and the only thing i hate worse than denver… is punk ass boston.
everything coming out of boston is the worst shit ever… the celtics ( bitches ), the patriots ( bitches ), the red sox, the bruines. Boston fuckin blows. the people have bootleg ass new york accents n shit. and its cold like 300 days out the year. how could this place not be wack? when i found out john kerry ass was from boston i damn near didnt vote for him.

Anyway… id be mad at the world right now… but since the raiders AND the lakers won today… im just kinda mad. but not really.

oh yea… why does brian leftwitch look like dougie fresh and omar goodings child of lust? lol


… or it could be the 4th… but im not sure. im blowed at the moment… excuse me.

So yea… The 3rd Annual Blowed Giving will be held this thursday… traditionally celerbrated by most as ThanksGiving. but since i dont partake in thanksgiving… and since alot of my friends dont, but everybody has the day off. we have fordged our own holiday. BlowedGiving.

BlowedGiving is a gathering of friends and family at some ones house, it last from the time the owner of the house is avaliable to host a gather, till the time the owner passes out. What we do on blowed giving is…. well get blowed. that aint hard to figure out. we drink, smoke and eat away the day. watch football, sit around and talk and laugh, play games. just a real nice time. blowed giving is my favorite holiday that isnt my birthday or new years lol.

man… blowed giving for me and my friends is kinda like st. patricks day for irish people. we get WAY more fucked up than we are suppose to. good lord… hammered would be a tragic understatment. but not fucked up enough to where we cant function. but to the point were we are fucked up nice and good and feel great.
there is so much food, you dont get that fucked up, because you can eat your way sober if you have to. you could either eat to stop you from getting TOO fucked up… or eat to sober up to take yo ass home.

last year at blowed giving… i found a place behind the chair max was sitting in to black out. i was drunk as hell and high as fuck… i had only gotten like 4 hours of sleep. pssshhh i was fucking done for. i figured max would throw a nigga a lil bit of cover, so nobody would miss a nigga… or shit… notice i passed the fuck out. so i camped out behind max… i think i remember telling him that i was behind him. i dont know if i did or not… but if did, i know why i would have done it. because i know what i was thinking to myself. “Damn, self… it sure would be fucked up if max fucked around and farted out this bitch ( LMAO!!! ). you know… like if he decided he was gonna let one slip, and fuck it… im in the corner, nobody will smell that shit. Damn self, wouldnt that fuckin SUCK not only would it suck more than the worst shit ever. but that would also mean, that not only has this man spit on you before… but he will then have farted on you! that just cant happen. fuck that.? so i mentioned to that nigga, that i was camped out behind him. but i didnt tell him what i was thinking. i dont think. but then again… i was blowed enough lol.

lol i only threw that in because max beat me in fantasy football, and im hella salty. blaylock and tom bradey could have had better games… but overall my whole team had that cold low output. so… this is my get back lol. kinda sorta a lil bit.

anyway… blowed giving cracks. i cant wait! it goes down!

and this year, we are gonna have a blowed giving eve get together the day before! this should be great! i cant wait!
we are only gonna do this shit this year, because a few of my friends are fucking cheaters, and want thier cake and eat it too. they celerbate thanksgiving and want to celerbrate blowed giving as well. muthafuckas… its cool tho. any excuse to get blowed lol. so it goes down before hand, and then all over again. ha!

im out.


so im posted up watching my dvr, watching scrubs n shit… then i get a call. its 3am mind you. but my cell phone rings… i put my show on pause. dvr stands for digital video recorder… so basiclly, i tivo’d my shit. scrubs is one of my favorite shows. i catch up on back eps whenever i get a chance. and since im in the process of taking my life back. im off this gotdamn computer… and im watching some tv that isnt basketball, football, or sportscenter. gettin my laugh on n shit…
i get a call… i pause my shit… im having a conversation n shit… then all of a sudden, im talkin and click!
my muthafuckin cable got shut off in the middle of my GOTDAMN SHOW! i was so fuckin mad… all i could do was cuss! i wasnt done watching my muthafuckin shit! i had the shit on pause! isnt that fucked up!!!! gotdamn… they could have at least waited for a nigga show to be over n shit. gotdamn. i am way too blowed for this.
thats some fucked up shit to happen while youre blowed and then having the conversation i was having too? it was too much…
i had to get the fuck up, look for my credit card and pay my bill ( which i would have paid anyway ) and now… back to my show… but fuck, i dont even know if i wanna watch the shit now.

ugh.


For my new years resolution… I have decided i am taking my life back.
( i do realize that we are a month and some weeks away from 2005 )

From what? from this gotdamn computer… well not really. from my work. thats all i ever fucking do. for the past 4 years it seems like. i dont get any time to my self or for other personal projects. such as this site here, and learning new shit ( which could help a nigga with his work actually. )

So ive decided to only work 8 to 10 hours a day like a normal person. whatever i dont get done in that time, will have to wait till the next day. i think that by me doing this, i will be more focused and more efficent with my work… and get TONS more done.

i work from home, so with that…. i believe that i have all damn day to get what i need to get done, done. and i end up working until its dark early ( dark early = early in the am, when its still fucking dark lol ). i dont wanna do that shit no more… its not getting me where i need or want to be.

i need to be more disiplined and focued anyway… and i believe with this new policy i will indeed get there.

my goal is to be off this gotdamn computer by AT THE LASTEST 10pm… even if im back on by 11 lol. it wont always work out like that. but i have to start some where. if i do happen to be on by 11… i REFUSE to work ( all the way at least… i might have to do minor shit ). i will be doing something for me… like a side project or learning some new shit that im interested in.

also with this… im trying to wake up earlier, but NOTHING has worked since 98. ive been going to sleep inbetween 3am and 6am since i was like 18 n shit… EVEN when i had a job where i had to be up at 5am… i was blackin out around 1 or 2. id like to actually black out around 1 or 2 now… but that shit is damn near impossible. ive tried ALMOST everything… from smoking to drinking ( it works, but it takes a good 3 hours or so sometimes ) to making my room cold on purpose, to whatever the fuck you can think of… ive tried. nothing has ever worked. im SCARED as fuck to take sleeping pills! when youve been inches from death… and can damn near feel your self slipping away. sleeping pills can be the worst shit ever…. ive never taken them actually. but i DID used to drink a big ass thing of nyquil to put me out… which only worked 80% of the time actually. but when i was going to sleep… i used to be scared shitless that i wouldnt wake up. id actually fight sleep for as long as i could. shit sucked. i felt like i was slipping away… i felt just like i did in the hospital on that bed. shit sucks. not only that… but id only sleep 4 hours off that shit. id black out at 2… be up at 8. and then take a nap later on in the day because i didnt sleep long enough. so nyqil is out. i dont know what the fuck to do.
i think imma try reading. the only problem with that is, im a information person, and i can only read nonfiction. thats the only thing that will hold my attention. and it will hold it to the point where i wont get sleepy. but then again, i think a good story would do the same. im not sure tho.
sigh, shits fustrating… i dont know what to do. but i refuse to give up.

anyway… this wont be an easy process for me. but im determined like a muthafucka. im a strong willed person, and i refuse to not have what i want. i get most shit i want… and i will have my gotdamn life back from my work. i fuckin NEED to do this.

i know usually i dont talk about myself too much on this site… but a few of my friends were complaining that they never know whasup with me. so… blam. be happy niggas lol. this is what im going through at the moment. amoungst other shit that i refuse to air out. this is as juicy as it gets with me lol.


thats not true really.

OJ hasnt felt like blogging…. why? eh…. id rather play GTA SA. that shit is fun… and im hella far… im in the las vegas part. and i just jacked four cop bikes… that shit took me a few tries… and it was hella hard. and YES! i use cheat codes… fuck the dumb. i dont have all gotdamn year to be fucking with this shit. i can barely play this shit for an hour and a half… it gives me motion sickness… BAD!
as a matter of fact… my head and stomach is fucked up right now.

imma go lay down.

but before i go… id like to say, i hope DL keeps on hosting the late late show on cbs, hes the damn GUTS! i wish i would have known he was at the improv at the ontario mills. i would have tried my damndest to catch a show. ive been a fan since comic view, in like 92 or some shit… when he was wearin cross colors and talkin shit about niggas in the audiance lol.
tonite, vivica fox was a guest. and i dont care what nobody says. i like vivica fox. i think shes fuckin fine… and i like her in some movies… some movies tho… ehh. and her show… eehh im cool on that too. but shes getting PAID off that shit. so more power to vivica… i heard she live around here some where. if i ever see her at the grociery store or some shit, i dont think imma be able to not ask for a hug lol. also… kareem abdul jabar was on there. i want a old school 33 lakers jersey SO BAD. but not the purple one, a yellow one. im a big ass laker fan, but i just cant fuck that much purple for whatever reason. say what you want. anyway…. kareem is pretty interesting. he is coming out with a movie about black soliders in ww2 i believe. actually, im not sure what time period its suppose to be from. but im looking forward to it.

im also looking forward to some sleep. fuck.


George Bush, is an insperation to me.
That is correct. You read it right, and im dead ass serious.
How in the fuck could G Dub possibly be an insperation to me? Well… i dont think most people see what i see.
When i was younger, my mom taught me that EVERY thing has a bright side to it. Everything. i remember the day i learned that lession. Our refrigorator broke, and we had to use like 3 ice coolers as a make shift fridge. not for just a couple of weeks, but for MONTHS! the shit sucked! and i was bitchin to my mom like say, this has to be the wackest shit ever! ( of course that aint the exact verbage i used ) and she said… OJ, everything has a bright side. And i would have bet the fuckin farm that my mom couldnt come up with a bright side to using 3 ice coolers as a refridgorator. but gotdamn if she didnt!! “well, dont you like your milk extra cold? doesnt the ice coolers keep your milk warmer than the fridge ever did?” and ill be damned if this wasnt fact. i fuckin love ice cold milk. and due to this experence, ive been putting ice in my bowls of cereal every since.
Now… please keep all your fuckin comments about ice in a bowl of cereal, or even milk for that matter, to your gotdamn self. because i do not want to hear it. ive heard it all. and i could honestly give a fuck for the following reasons:
– No im not gonna put my milk in the freezer for like 10 to 15 min before i eat a bowl of cereal because im fucking lazy! that shit will take far too fucking long for me, not only am i lazy, but im very fucking impatient when it comes to food prep.
– that and i might fuck around and forget about it, and wonder why in the fuck am i hungry like and hour later. thinking back to myself… damn i KNOW i was trying to put me together SOMETHING? then be pissed because i have a bowl of frozen ass milk in the freezer that is absolutely no good to me at all.
– No, the fucking ice does not get in the way. and honestly, if it did… its a small sacrifice for good ass ice cold milk.
– i MAY be slightly lactose intolorant. and anything other than ice cold milk will fuck my stomach up and give me mustard gas like flatulance with wharehouse clearing potential. so really, when you look at it. im only being humane by putting ice in my milk at the end of the day lol.
– No, you do not taste the water in the milk as the ice melts. and if youre convinced that you do… or if you have. so? ive been drinking milk with ice in it way too long. i dont even notice any more, doesnt bother me at all.
– I like what i like, you can kiss my werid ass…. two times.

anyway… ive gotten off subject.

so yea… everything has a bright side too it. well most things. as ive gotten older, ive found out that… well some shit just fuckin dont. Such as, getting hit by a truck. cant be a good thing at all. no bright side… no anything positive. lol even if you get crazy paid. im pretty sure…. 9.8 out of 10 people would rather be broke and not have been put in the position to go head up with a truck.

But when i look at George Bush, and high ass gas prices, his janky ass military record, his even more janky college carrer, and people dying in iraq over some bullshit, did i mention high ass gas prices?… and the rest of everything that a person could attribute to shit being fucked up in this country, and him being the fall guy. i also see something else.

George Bush has shown me, that you dont have to be the brightest, the smartest, or the best leader out there. All you need is the will and a good team behind you, and you can do any gotdamn thing you want to, damn near.
Just look at some of the shit this muthafucka has done.
He (and his team) basiclly jacked the presidency. now… it may be true he jacked it from a muthafucka who didnt REALLY wanna be president, but hey… it still some shit to pull off, no matter what.
then he was a man with a half of the country is suppose to be leading, at odds with him basiclly, but still had the other half in his corner stead fast, and these muthafuckas did not sway at all. next comes one of the greatest tragedies of our time. he (and his team) capitalizes on it. and for a good year, this man is now a hero, and taking us through troubled times. ( we wont talk about if he was behind this tragedy or not. we will just pretend that, that shit is basiclly an impossibility )
ran up in afganistain, looking for osama. bombed the fuck out of everything. some time passes, and did they find the muthafucka they ran up in there lookin for? no! then has the audacity to say…… on national tv…. that osama isnt a concern all of a sudden, and surprise surprise muthafuckas… we are chaning our focus! now, our focus is wmd’s ( that may or may not be there ) and fuck the person who was responsible for the worst this to happen on american soil in years. probably ever. yes… we vowed to chase them down, hunt them down and kill them. we didnt do that exactly… but dont worry about that. there is something more serious at hand. bush, and his team, told the nation that shit, and got away with it.
then the muthafucka procceded into iraq. a country that had no evidence of having anything to do with anything. barely had evidence of having wmd’s. and right before he went into iraq, the muthafucka told the UN to fuck off basiclly… went into iraq, not giving a flying fuck of who had to say what.
And the people that didnt like it? he now has the whole country believing that these people are some how our enemies, and no matter if you support him or not… now, you dont like the french lol.
this is not all the shit he’s pulled. thats just a few examples. but you get my point. he’s pulled some shit.

But how does this inspire me? like i said… this makes me believe that all i need is drive, vision and a good team behind me. and i can acomplish anything. we’ve all seen G Dub on tv, and the bullshit that comes out his mouth. im not gonna sit up here and say im smarter than George Bush, because id REALLY like to believe that the so called leader of the free world isnt as fuckin dumb as he comes off. he just fuckin cant be lol. no matter what. Im also not trying to call me, myself a dumb fuck. but gotdamn… he has to be smarter than he lets on. its fucking impossible to ride all the way to the white house and be as dumb as he is made out to be, or even comes off as for that manner. i dont care who his daddy is. there are plenty of inteligent republicans ( lol ) who could have been better seated for that role, but he made it passed all of them. he just cant be lol. and if he is. …. fuckin wow lol i mean, i know he be making up words n shit lol… but still. anyway…. so like i was saying.
im not dumb ( at least i would like to believe im not lol ) and im more than certain i could put together a team thats just as good as his, if not better… over time of course. and seeing George Bush and what he has accomplished weither it be janky or forthright, leads me to believe that i too can accomplish great things with my drive, vision and a great team that supports me. im not trying to become president, or take over the world or no shit like that. but i have goals and greatness that is ready to be achived.
and when i see G dub and his dumb guy smirk, or some retarded shit that he let jump out his mouth… or some asshole talk about yea “yea i think Bush won this debate convincingly”… that shit gives me all kinda hope for myself and the shit i want to see myself do with my time here on this planet. because if HE can pull all kinda bullshit, head up big corporations, own baseball teams and shit… and come off that gotdamn dumb, and have the past that he has… Why cant I??!? Im not dumb, i may not be the best speller out this bitch lol and i may not be a genius, but i aint stupid at all. I have complete confidence in the people i know, as far as me putting a team together to acomplish something great. I am confident that i could convence people to support me that i need to support me. i have more than enough drive! i may be a lazy muthafucka. but i work, ALOT. why do you think there are big ass gaps between entries sometimes. im busy working!
so yea… Thanks George Bush, i may not vote for your ass tomorrow, but you have shown me that, even if you half ass shit… you can still reach your goals! lol
and shit, for a person like me that actually works hard for the shit he wants… im in the fuckin game!