April 2004 - Uhmah Park

Zappitos = shoes in spanish.

thats right people… im hear to educate. as much as i possibly can lol. but yea… i know spanish. a lil at least… pequinio. i SUCK at spelling spanish words tho… lol much like english words. spelling overall is somthing i aint good at.
i remember my spanish 2 teacher. Mr. Torres. and by now… if it wasnt MISS Torres. i wouldnt be fuckin surprised lol. that muthafucka was so painfully obviously gay and femminie it hurts. this man was the child of lust of Richard Simmons and Balkey from perfect strangers…. on downers. because them muthfuckas are both hyper. and he was workin at normal speed… but had hyper gay man undertones. lol its true. and i hated that muthafucka. i hated him so much… people was surprised when they found out i got a B in his class. i remember saying ” i hate his punk ass… but that dont mean a nigga gotta fail the class! ” i guess if you hate your teachers… youre suppose to fail out the class or some shit. i dont know. i used to talk so much shit to and about him… i remember having to stop my self from choking this bastard out… TWICE! like… i used to have a REAL bad anger problem. i was ready to be on some sprewell / pj carlismio shit lol. punk ass muthafucka… i didnt not like him because he was gay. but because he was a BITCH! he used to be on that shit. he used to fuck with me. for no good reason. muthafucka.

anyway…

right now… “sober” is part of my past at the momment. and i was thinking about some shit me and syl was talkin about earlier. we was talkin about old school LA shoes. and i realized something… there are very few people who know about the old school LA shoes. at least people on the internet. i dont know too many LA muthafuckas on the internet… not ones who grew up in a hood like area… and did ghetto shit when they was small. Actually… that nigga BMG, im sure… he is up on some of them shits. and Dell. but i met that nigga in highschool ( along with gay ass seniorita torres. lol ), i dont know with that nigga from the net. umm… yea i think thas it tho. but yea… i grew up on 53rd street and Hoover in LA. and for a long time… my parents used to get me payless shoes. yea man… i used to rock some payless joints. untill the third grade. when i got my first pair of shoes from the slason swapmeet. i remember when that shit opened. i cant remember what that building used to be. lol down the street from Zodies ( you gotta be a LA nigga all the way to remember Zodies ).

but yea… my first pair of name brand shoes came from the slason. my mom got me some Filas. some high top white ones… the old ones from 87 with the strap across the top? nobody remember them shits. them shits was HARD! i loved them shoes. i was so cool with my filas.
i also remember some other shoes i got from the slason… Some Diadoras! nobody knows about that shit! back when they used to make hightop basketball shoes! they was white and with red and green trim. they was dope!

there was some other shoes that they used to sell up at the slason, called LOTTOS! these shoes was… i dont know. they had a map of LA on them. they was white… and the print on them was red and green… like diadoras… they looked hella similar. but ihavent met anybody that remember them shoes.

my first nikes… my sisters god father bought for me… from big 5. lol thats right… Big 5. nobody buys shoes from big 5 no more lol. but yea… my first nikes was some Forces. but they looked JUST like the Air Jordan 7’s. This was when nike used to make knocks offs of thier OWN shoes. brilliant actually. as much knock off shit that muthafuckas will buy these days. but then again… maybe not. when you can force ALL them muthafuckas that was gonna pay less to get the knock offs… get the real shit. muthafuckas these days. lol. anyway… i had some force, they was the same color as the bugs bunny jordans ( the 7’s ), they was black and that purple color and yellow. i liked em. one day i was over at my auntie house playin hide and go get it with the girls over there. and these fuckin girls… caught me ( lol right…. ) and these bitches tried to take off my gotdamn shoes while one humped me! yea thas right… it was only 3 dudes and like 9 girls… so they chased us for whatever reason. yea tho… they tried to take my shit… they was serious about it too. ” girl get his shoes! these is fresh! ” assholes lol.

i remember when hiking boots was hella popular. they had those LA gear hiking boots that everybody used to have… except for me lol i didnt like em. i almost did get me a pair of ACG’s tho.

i also remember LA Gear Lights… back when not only kids and infants wore them! i knew a couple of people who had them shits too. i must admit… i was mildly impressed with them shits when they first came out… but i soon got over it after i seen em the first couple times. lol thinking back… i cant believe them shits was ever on the market and anybody over 4 wore them.

LA Gear used to be hella popular… and believe it or not. i believe they are still in business. i dont know what the fuck they make. but they are still in business lol.

Guess Boots. damn near everybody i knew had some of them shits. for whatever reason… i never got a pair. lol i kinda liked them. as far as i remembered. i wanted some all black ones actually. but shit… i would have looked like every body else lol.

i used to have some Ellese. this shoe brands logo was a sun or some shit… it was orange and red. them shoes was dope to me tho lol. i had some all black suede ones. i wore them shits OUT! something cold.

Grant Hills. i never had any of those…. by that time… i didnt like filas no more. because very super classless ghetto muthfucka i knew had some of these gotdamn shoes. and im sorry… im not gonna rock any shoes that just as many girls wear ( possiblyfuckin more! ) as dudes wear. fuck that. im not trying to be sexist. its just that… shit… i dont know. something aint right with that. maybe its just that EVERY girl i knew had some of them shits. Now… im the first nigga that say Jordans look good on girls who know how to wear them lol. but not too many girls rock j’s! so its cool. grant hills was just a lil TOOOO popular. everybody had some.

anyway… im tired… just some thoughts. im blackin out.


thats right…

see thats the life that i lead… and you sucka mc’s is who i feed… so take that… move back…. catch a heart attack…

im watchin Run DMC video, sucka mc’s. on the music ondemand channel…. and why the video start off with some nigga on the ground, breakin … doin shoulder spins ( or whatever they was called… not exactly a head spin ) and this nigga is gettin jheri curl juice ALL over the fuckin floor… the floor is all shiney and wet n shit lol its fuckin halarious….

you just a sucka mc, you sad face clown…

anyway… i just thought id share that shit… considering i was just talkin about jheri curls.

and oh yea… calvin i saw vladamires shit… that nigga crop has been victimized by this so cal sun somthing ruthless like. somebody shoulda told that nigga that he cant do both… be an athlete and stay in california and have a curl. that shit doesnt crack like being black and famous and going to colordo with out johnny cochran. ( chris rock is the guts for that shit lol ). that mans curl is destitute.


I think….

– the new coors commercial with hits is the gotdamn guts.

– marice clarett is another kobe waiting to happen. i also think that nigga got the worst skin possible. he look like he’s never washed his face.

– the nfl bastards that voted for / came up with the new inzone celerbration rules are fun murdering facist assholes. dammit… i love football… and i love a good muthafuckin inzone clerbration. i like to see the shit that the different players to. i love that shit. its hella fuckin entertaining. its cool tho… old stickin the mudd muthafuckas… the only team that didnt vote for the new rules. The Raiders of course. one of the greatest, most ledgendary teams in professional sports! thats why i support them every gotdamn nfl season! its all about the silver and black.

– kobe is the man! and the lakers are the best thing goin! almost as good as chicken as far as im concerned!

– the new chris rock stand up, is saturated with truth. and gotdamnit that nigga damn near talked me out of ever gettin married. but… fuck that. nothing is better than regular ass. regular ass makes new cut instantly over rated. especially if its good regular ass. good lord. but yea… the new chris rock shit is halarious. i wanna watch that shit again.

– the Black Eyed Peas, NBA commercial is kinda catchy. and i really dont like bep all that much. its the funny tho. i dont remember them starting out like that.

– the lakers are going all the way. fuck what anybody else have to say.

– CAMEL…. Camel is a dumb ass name for cigerettes. honestly. how do nasty ass spittin, shitty ass Camels and death causing ciggerettes coralate at all? think about it… have you ever fucking seen a gotdamn camel? would you want one of them stinking ass thing askin for a drag of your cancer stick? FUCK NO! have you ever taken a look at thier fuckin lips? nigga ugh! i dont smoke ciggs.. but i know a camel is never hittin anything im smokin on.
in the primary area that a mutahfucka would see a camel on the regular… or use one for transportation. are them muthafuckas even allowed to smoke ciggs? and if they are…. why? i dont really like smokin when its hot as fuck. lol who else would? lol dah. anyway.

– that often when i partake in my inbreation rituals. i tend to fucking over do it. real bad. sometimes are worse than others. but i make sure that i over do it. or get some where in the prosimity of that area. because i believe it keeps me from being addicted. if i get too fucked up, to the point where i cant really do shit. then that means a few things. like… i cant go no where and REALLY fuck up lol. except for the time i was in san deigo for the weekend last year for the super bowl. and i dont think i was sober for more than … eehh… say… 10 hours? lol we stayed fucked up in some capatcity that whoole weekend. it was great. anyway… it also allows me not to be too dependant on any inbreants to be functional in life. you know those people that have to be high to deal with anything? or people that have to have a drink to leave the house… or just to do anything. i dont wanna be one of those people at all man.

– dave chappelle is the guts. ( as ive often said. ) that wayne bradey and rick james shit damn near killed a nigga.

– ehhh i think im done. i can barely sit up straight at this point!


right here… right now. i am taking a stand.

a stand… agianst the jheri curl and its many donominations. like the s curl, finger waves, etc. anything where a muthafucka hair appears to be wet. lol

i do realize that walking around with a pair of clippers and seeking out perps isnt exactly practical. the best i could come up with is open and public humilation by way of jokes.

So, if you havent noticed. There is a pitcher for the boston red sox, by the name of pedro martinez, whos new look for this 2004-2005 baseball season includes jheri curl and what appears to be a lil gold chain sometimes. some games it look like he got on sea shells or some shit… i dont know. anyway. while watching sports center… me and max ( of bolivion.com ) decided it was time for a lil joke session.
oh yea… before i forget:
boooo boston as a city, thier teams, the fucking fans of thier teams, and everything related to boston that isnt GangStarr lol… mainly the celtics and patriots!
Anyway… on to the transcripts.

OJ: man… what in the fuck is wrong with this nigga pedro?
Max:?
OJ: you see this niggas 1984 curl and small ass chain?
Max : oh
Max : LOL
Max : yes
Max : been like that awhile
OJ : yea since last season ended lol
OJ : that nigga been in DR too long lol
OJ : that nigga got that old ass dope man jheri curl
Max : LOL not a dope man jheri curl
Max : nigga gotta a crack curl?
OJ : YES!
OJ : naw…. one of them jheri curls that niggas that was movin major weight used to have back in the day
OJ : nigga… you know them muthafuckas who thought they was a villian on miami vice…
Max : all he need is one of those sweaters with a leather patch on the front
Max : or a silk shirt
OJ : lol yea nigga
OJ : or some man sandals
OJ : or some loafers with no socks lol
Max : and a yellow bmw with a limo tint
Max : and mag wheels
OJ : YES!! LMAO
OJ : lol or a big body white benz with a ground kit n shit lol
OJ : like that shit too short used to roll
OJ : with all kinda extra shit… and gold chromed trim
Max : the AMG kit
OJ : YES!!! LMAO
OJ : lmao man fuck lol
Max : bumpin freaky tales
OJ : LMAO!!!
OJ : and got the sade tape for the females
OJ : anita baker or some shit lol
Max : and luther vandross
OJ : hell yea
Max : talkin bout, neva too much neva too much
OJ : LMAO!!!!!!!

Yesterday… i was talkin with my cousin RJ and asked him if he had seen pedros curl. He said that he had seen it before. but he hadnt seen it in awhile. Then, earlier today. he got to see it. and this is what followed:

RJ: yo i saw pedro’s curl again 2day and boy o boy was it trhe fucking guts
OJ: LMAO yes nigga lol
OJ: that shit will never not be funny if you want it to be
RJ: that nigga really is taking it bac to the 80’s
OJ: yea he is…
OJ: he serious about it too
RJ: hell yeah
RJ: like yall nigga aint gon fuck wit my curl NIGGGGA
RJ: WHAT
OJ: LOL!!
OJ: first nigga that talk shit… is gettin BEANED cuzz!
RJ: lmao
OJ: nigga i throw straight fire!
OJ: ill take a muthafucka head straight the fuck off! fuckin with me!
RJ: ruthless cuzz i’m ruthless wit mine cuzzzz
OJ: 103 mph nigga what?!?!?!
RJ: lmao
OJ: LMAO
RJ: do it pedro curl do it do it-do it pedro curl do it do it ( Authors note :: robert townsend partners in crime refernce! )
RJ: shake shake shake
OJ: LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!
RJ: yes nigga he is the all time guts
OJ: indeed lol
RJ: that shit will go down in history
OJ: yes nigga lol
RJ: if that nigga sprayed his shit before every inning that shit would be oooo so cold nigga
OJ: LMAO
OJ: id fuckin die laughing…
RJ: lmao
RJ: nigga in the dugout juicing his shit up for the next inning
OJ: it would also be the guts if he call a time out… and have somebody run out with a bottle of activator when he start sweatin too hard
RJ: lmao
OJ: time out ump! my curl is drying up mayne….
OJ: i cant be out here with millions of peoeples watchin… and my shit is dry mayne.
OJ: das just not cool baby!
RJ: LMAOLMAOLMAOLMAO
OJ: ahh man lmao
RJ: NIGGA OUT THERE FOR PERGAME WIT A JERRY CURL BAG ON HIS SHIT
OJ: LMAO!!!!!!!!! LMAOLMAO!!!!!
RJ: SWEAT BUILDING UP AT THE TOP OF THE BAG
OJ: LMAO GOTDAMMIT!!!
RJ: wit a towel around his nec
OJ: STOP LMAO!!!
RJ: lmao
OJ: id fuckin gut if that nigga jersey had curl stains on the neck and drips down the back n shit lmao
RJ: lmao
RJ: who told that nigga itr would be cool to rock the curl
OJ: probably one of his old ass cousins in the domincan republic
RJ: like nigga if u bring the curl bac nigga u’ll be killen em
OJ: exactly!
OJ: all in his ear n shit… ju done lost all of jur roots mayne!
RJ: lmao
RJ: mayne
OJ: ju don eben look like us no more mayne…
RJ: lmao
OJ: fade? fade? fuck is dat shit mayne? what ju need to do perdo… is get ju a nice sexy suavacito jheri curl like the one i have right now my mayne…
OJ: all the bitches love my shit mayne
OJ: i have to beat bitches offa me mayne…

( Authors note:: that nigga rj couldnt take it no more… he called me crackin the fuck up lol. )

sometimes people tell me that im the guts… and i should have my own show, me and my friends and this that and the other. man… that shit will never happen. we would fucking laugh the whole show and nobody else would get the jokes lol. on aim or chat… yea… you can laugh along. but us talkin and laughin at the same time? fuck that… you have to really be in the know to know whats going on most of the time. and we spend ALOT of time laughin… because shit be funny as fuck lol we wouldnt get thru shit lol.

now… excuse me while i go watch kill bill on dvd!


i wonder what goes thru a celerbrities mind when they figure that maybe… being in an old navy commercial, couldnt possibly be a bad thing?
either that… or its like… im trying to get back in the game one step at a time… this is gonna crack!

who knows.

lol its late.


damn lol.
imma have to stop neglecting this thing.

today… while in ralphs grociery store… my bowels decided it would be a fucking great time to get to movin. and since i have NO reservations about using anybodys public restroom… i found a friendly Ralphs employee, and asked for the location of the restroom.
After making a right after the yogort… then a quick left. i was in the mens restroom. Now… usually when i use a public restroom… i use the handicap stall. like… always… thats the first thing i look for. every single time. ( am i the only muthafucka that does this? ) Why? because… the handicap stall has a whole buncha room! shit… a nigga is tall. i need room. and usually the handicap toilets are higher than regular toilets… them shits is hella comfortable. usually my knees be in my chest when i take a seat. but not on handicap toilets… i think imma get one put in my bathroom in my house. lol
anyway…

so im sitting there… making use of the public facailities, flagrantly abusing the comfort aroma levels that were pleasant before my arival. and i had a thought… like most people when they are on a thrown. thier own or otherwise.

damn… i wonder what would happen if a wheelchair bound man… just happen to roll thru the door. and notice that the handicap stall is occupied by some one that is clearly not handicap. Would he get mad? and if he did… how would I react?

Well… i said to myself: Changes are… i wouldnt give a flying fuck, and make that muthafucka wait. handicap people are the first to want to be treated like everybody else. Well, muthafucka… first come first serve! you wanna be treated like everybody else? wait like everybody else homie! stop bitchin! if the yo ass was in here… and i came after you. id have to wait. of course i have the option to use one of the more narrow stalls. but that aint the point lol. i wanna use that stall just like you do. lol

then after i got finish laughin at myself. i thought…. maybe im fucked up? i dont know. who cares… thats how i feel. fuck it. i dont have a problem with being fucked up lol.