March 2003 - Uhmah Park

— i meant to post this the other day… but… hey… imma lazy nigga… what can i say… plus im busy most of the time.
but this shit was fuckin halarious

Drea says: nigga O…as crazy as this sounds…I think I may have found a bigger asshole than you
Drea says: :-O
OJ says: lol
OJ says: its possible
Drea says: I didnt think it was
Drea says: dis muhfukka was wit his baby moms….she had some crazy shoes on and shit that looked IMPOSSIBLE to walk in…
Drea says: anyway…she end up trippin and fallin…
OJ says: lol
Drea says: dis nigga is tha FIRST to laugh…talkin bout “dumb broad…I told you not to where those fuckin thingz”
OJ says: LMAO!!!
Drea says: then grab they daughter’s hand and sayz “c’mon babygirl…mommie’s a dumbass and we don’t need to let people know that we’re with her”
Drea says: and walked tha fuck off
OJ says: LMAO HA HA!!!
OJ says: OH SHIT!! LMAO
Drea says: jus left ol girl sprawled out on tha street
Drea says: lol
OJ says: ah man… that was tha guts… what a way to start your damn morning! lol
Drea says: lol
Drea says: I’m standin bout 10 feet away tryin not to laugh TOO fuckin loud…and tha first person I thought of was you
OJ says: lol damn… thats terrible lol
Drea says: but wait…it get worse…I guess ol girl was too embarassed so she went into a shoe store right quick to buy some flatz…
OJ says: oh no! LOL
Drea says: ol boy runz into his friend down tha street…
Drea says: tellz tha story…and his boy was tellin how cold he was…
OJ says: lol
Drea says: dude was like “nigga would YOU have stayed with tha dizzy bitch? you shoulda seen this hoe fall…she looked like a fuckin ostrich jumpin off a cliff tryina fly”
OJ says: yea thats tha coldest nigga alive…
Drea says: lol
OJ says: LMAO HELL MUTHAFUCKIN NAW LMAO
OJ says: holy shit that is tha fuckin guts!!!
Drea says: I know right
Drea says: I hadta duck into Mickey D’s so tha niggas wouldnt hear me laughin
Drea says: lol
OJ says: and you observed all of this from the street?
Drea says: hell yeah
Drea says: I was on my way to the mall
Drea says: it was nice so I decided to walk the three blocks
Drea says: wooooo…had enough jokes in 10 minutes to last me tha fuckin day
OJ says: gutty shit indeed!

lol its still the guts!


lol if i posting like this… imma have to call this shit blowed park….

but anyway… im up watching tv late. and a 976 Wake commercial. i havent seen one of these in so damn long.

i remember at one time in my life, i was young, i thought 976 Wake was the tightest shit out. i dont know why. i just did. anyway… i begged and begged my mom to use this shit since she had trouble waking up in the morning.

one day she gave in. i was so hyped… my black ass woke up 10 min before that shit was scheduled to ring. i ran in my moms room… and stood there and waited for the phone to ring. it was hella silent in the room… it was about 8am… or 7:56 rather. all i can hear is my mom breathing lol. im looking back and fotth looking at my mom and the phone. i lookd from my mom to the phone… and it rang! scared my ass lol

and it rang and rang and rang and rang… that shit did not wake up my mom… and the ringing was kickin my ass. drove me up the fuckin wall. but i didnt wanna wake up my mom… i wanted 976 wake to wake her up. eventually it got too be a bit fuckin much… lol so my black ass… shook my mom to wake her up a lil bit so she would hear the phone. did that shit work?
NO!
she woke up… and it looked like she THOUGHT she her the phoen…. and then said… fuck it im trippin… blacked the fuck back out!
DAMMIT!
ring ring ring… ring ring ring… fuck!
i had to step my game up…. MOM… MOM! she lookd up… and i steped back a lil bit so she couldnt see me. this time… she realized that the phone was ringin and picked it up. YES! i was so happy! went… got back in the bed…. that shit called her back some how!
im damn near sleep… and the phoen keeps ringin and ringin and ringing. i thoguht i was gonna fuckin lose it. i put my pillow over my head.. and passed out… but kept on waking up to the fuckin phone ringing. AND my ass was too lazy to get up and pick up the phone. id say a good 30 min passed… and the phoen would stop ringing for a second… only to call back because my mom didnt hear that shit and did not pick it up. After so look i couldnt take it. i hoped my lazy ass up and went andpicked up the phone and shut that shit off. i was so pissed it backfired on me. i went for the okie doek… its cool tho… they will never get me again lol assholes!

lol how ironic… im about to black out now… BUT… in less than 5 to 7 hours… i will be awaken by different people callin my black ass for various reaons… knowin i be workin late and up later.
muthafuckas…


My day… was eventful…
and basiclly…. worth typing out.

in espn’s sportcenter fashion… we are gonna start these highlights with a FlashBlack to yesterday / 3-18-03 / about 7 or 8 pm i was getting out the shower ( water glisinin all overr yoour baaahhhdddyyyy — and to tie that to this — yes, im very blowed at the moment ) and as i go to turn the water off… it doesnt turn all the way off……. ? what the fuck?!? i force pull tug…. nothing… the shit is still going at a slow pour… and basiclly sounds like somebody is taking a LOUD piss. fuck!…. BREAK OUT THE TOOLS!!! after some tinkinering… no ground was gained… rats!
a quick history… i hate where i stay… and id like very much to fuckin move! something is always fuckin broke around this muthafucka!
— so … it sounds like there is a 887 pound muhfucka in my shower taking piss in my gotdamn shower. and it broke me yesterday… and pissed me off all the way and fucked my day to hell.

ok… back to this day… 3-19-03… i woke up at 9 something am. and i went to the stereo shop to get my beat in my car put in. which took four about four hours… i went and had some ihop and read my XXL with biggie on the cover. it cracked… i went home… came back around 3. and oh my! ok… this is what i had installed… 1 1200 watt 2 channel amp another ……… a something hundred watt 4 channel amp… 2 12 inch 600 watt woofers with a big ass box that eleminates a buncha my trunk space. and man… that shit makes my seat feel like a massage chair! its great! man… this shit is LOUDER than a muthafucka! it hits so damn good lol… i knew it hit good when i was at a stop light and this guy stoped a car and a half behind me. and refused to pull up lol. ha! it cracks…

Then…

i fucked around and joined a Gym today! I joined the gym at csun ( i live around the corver ). Then… later after i joined. Me and the homie Dennis from upstairs went to the gym and hit the weights… BUT FIRST! Dennis is on some… lets run a mile… then hit the weights! man this nigga tried to KILL my black ass. i havent ran a mile since my 9th grade year. — quick fact! inbetween then and just few hours ago, there has been… decent amount of smoking and sitting on my black ass. Which would render me OUT OF FUCKING SHAPE –. gotdamn. im tired as fuck lol.
in the middle of hittin the weights and possibly pulling a muthafuckin muscle… i hear that yalls homeboy ( he aint mine till he step down or lower gas prices… fuck that! ) G Dub has been ( potentially over used joke alert!! ) listening to too much outkast and is now on some bombs over bahgdad shit ( over used joke alert color is now back down to “Hard Orange” america lol get out the damn duck tape and flash light… its real out here! ). i hope this isnt all for nothing… at least of they dont catch saddam… LIKE THEY FAILED DO FUCKING DO LAST TIME…. can fuckin gas prices go down? gotdamn…. i had to put 40 dollars in my fuckin tank the other day… that shit hurt! this is some bullshit. honestly. but yea… i worked out today… imma try to keep at it. i paid 90 bucks for that shit… so lets see if that shit works.

— and now. for the random thought of this post… i just came from del taco… and i was thinking. say…. what happen to the Gay Pride Rainbow stickers on neons and sprints and geo’s and cavilers and little volswagons and other various other small vehicels? i just thought about that… like say… what happen to the rainbow stickers? i mean… hey… i thought it was a bad idea from the get go… not to be gay is a bad idea… but to have a sticker telling the WHOLE world your gay? lol why dont they just get a sticker that says the following: Hey… im gay… and i want my car to be vandalized by some ignorant bastard who hates gay people.
foreal… dont gay people know that there are people who live to comment hate crimes against them? ( stop… these pepperment altoids are great… resume ). lol why not put a big ass rainbow bulls-eye on they shit? lol seriously. lol

hmm… what else… im not ready to stop typing yet.

ummm… oh yes… if the war with iraq interupts friends or scrubs… i WILL BE PISSED! yes yes yes… that is right… i do enjoy ” white shows ” ( fuck you in advance! nay sayers! ) them shits be the guts… friends… sienfied… friaser… all them shits… halarious!

speaking of halarious… the dave chappell show is gutty as hell. ooh my GOD! that shit be havin me rollin. and South park before that? SHIT!

ummm what else… oh yes! i wanna go to vegas for my birthday… memorial day weekend… who ever wants to roll… fuck it… ROLL NIGGA! imma be drunk… at somebody crap table… or shakin my stankin ass in somebody club. it should be fun… i dont know where i wanna stay yet… im thinking MGM Grand or some where around there. i dont know yet… but im definitly going. imma start traveling on my birthday from now on. fuck that. i dont care if i gotta roll by my self… im rollin!

and lastly… i dont know if its just me…. or if im just sexy like that ( i kid, i kid lol ) but when you wear sun glasses… do you ever catch people looking at you more than normal?
i dont understand that shit… ummmm could they possibly think… because they cant see my eyes… that i wont notice them looking at me? HMMM lol does it give people the right to stare? hmmm?? i dont know… like i said… maybe its me? i could be funny lookin or some shit. but yea…. fuck it… i got some new sun glasses finially… them shits crack!

yes… its time to black the hell out now. but first… some water.


Why is it every time i go to the bank, and there is a long line… there is that one white guy standing either two people in front of you or two people behind you… BITCHIN.
First… you know… he starts to shake his head and sigh hella loud. with the occasional, ” i cant beleive this ” or… ” this is rediculious…. ”

after that… they get real shifty… and start mumbling shit under thier breath… the same ” this is rediculious ” or ” i cant believe this ” but then they start to cuss, and hold out there arm, puzzeled like ” what the fuck!? ”

after that lol… ultimate fustration sets in… and they start to look over at the person next to them in line. and let out a snide ass laugh of discust and disbelief. as in to say ” do you see this shit?!! This is REALLY some bullshit! ” from here… shit goes either two ways… either they turn around and start bitching to them selves some more… or either… they take the eye contact that you two have made as an open invitation to complain to YOU! and point out improvments that will improve THIER OWN banking expereince. when what they really need to say is.. ” THIS BANK NEEDS TO STOP EVERYTHING ITS DOING WHEN I COME IN HERE AND HELP ME! ” and this is always kinda awkward… i mean what do you say to the guy at the bank… bitchin to you… when all you wanna do is do your business and get tha fuck out of the gotdamn bank.

but yea… anyway… every time i go to the bank… there is always ONE person in there bitchin… and he/she goes thru that same process everytime.

other people probably dont get talked to… but since im there peepin out thier actions most of the time… is probably why i get bitched to lol.

maybe i need to mind my own muthafuckin business…


i hate when im online… and i hit up one of the homies… and a couple of minutes later… you get a message saying, ” so and so isnt here, this is his/her whatever the fuck… ill tell them you were trying to reach them ”

and i cant help but fuckin wonder… why in the hell dont you just turn the fuckin IM off?

what would be so gotdamn hard about that?
just turn the fuckin shit off… muhfucka can do all kinda other shit… why cant they turn AIM or some other shit off. it aint like its hard. or why dont they just ask somebody. instead of rollin up on you like THE NEXT DAY or later on talkin some shit like… ummm somebody named… ummm… the ultra uhmah said ” yo “. and then of course… youre not thinking they was on your AIM so you give them the ” Nigga Huh face “, and then on goes an annoying ass process of what in the fuck this person is talkin about.

but anyway… maybe thats just me. but i still dont see why people who use OTHER peoples computers dont log off thier AIM.
ol invastionof privacy ass muhfuckas.

what if you and your computer friend has some kinda werid shit going on. and a muhfucka hit you up like. SAY JIVE TURKEY… WHAS WRONG WIT YO NATRUAL?!?!

is invasion of privacy locc gonna know what tha fuck is going on or possibly comprehend after a long ass explaination?!?! NO!

right click… exit homie…

file… exit…

it aint hard…


lol jokes and jokes and jokes and joks….
… speghetti… speghetti….. speghetti
lol ha… gutty shit…
just thought id add that lol

O.com: say
Max: wassup
O.com: you remember the beef between dre and jd?
Max: yeah
O.com: lol do you remember shortly after that JD had trouble with the irs?
O.com: do you think dre could have had anything to do with that shit?
O.com: like have somebody look into that niggas personal life and find out he hasnt paid taxes in how ever many years…
O.com: and laughed at his ass once he got all his shit taken away lol
Max: maybe… but that would be a bitch move, not that dre would be above that
O.com: how would that have been a bitch move?
O.com: id do that shit to a nigga in a heart beat
O.com: and call his ass up while they was there and laugh at his ass
O.com: like… ha… muhfucka… fuck wit me some more if you want to lol
Max: its sposed to be lyrical, not personal
O.com: i guess lol
O.com: but neither one of them niggas is rappers tho lol
Max: true
O.com: they suppose to be some money havin / shot callin niggas
O.com: only thing they can do is beats lol
O.com: what they gonna do? have a beat off?
Max: well we see why jd had money LOL
O.com: ……… lol hell naw lol…
O.com: LOL
O.com: hell naw
O.com: see
O.com: niggas is better than me
O.com: because i WILL kick a nigga while he is down…
O.com: i would have came out with a record like…
O.com: you said your doe was long…. but the irs came and fixed that shit for you… now your doe is as long as your arms… little nigga!
Max: LMAO
Max: LMAO
Max: hell naw
O.com: lol
O.com: i would have sampled Dah Ha too lol
O.com: but it would have been…
O.com: ha ha ha… ha ha ha, ha ha haaaaaa
Max: see
O.com: you said you had paper stacks… but the irs came and took care of that….
O.com: haaaa haaaa haaaaa… ha ha ha… haa haaa haaaaaaaaa
O.com: now that you have no money, you aint got no hoes… who wanna be with a nigga who can fit all they sons clothes?
O.com: hhaaa haaa hhaaaa… ha ha ha.. haa haaa haaaaaaaa
Max: lmao damn
O.com: lol gutty shit
O.com: leperchuan… had to move wit your moms… better start grinding for your fourtune again… ill give your 20 bucks if you… CUT MY LAWN!!!!
O.com: hhhhaaaaaah hhhhhaaaaaa haaaaaaa… ha ha ha haaa haaa haaaaaa
O.com: i woulda made a video and everything
Max: wrong…. just WRONG LOL
O.com: paid mini me to dress up as JD with a rat noes on and big ass clothes
O.com: lol because you know females be like… eww that nigga looks like a RAT!
Max: lol
O.com: lol damn
O.com: i have my self laughin about this shit

BUT WAIT! theeerrreeeess more!

Max: why 50 cent say ja rule sound like the cookie monster
O.com: LMAO
O.com: lol damn
O.com: i can hear the cookie monster now… talkin about… bbbaaabbbyyyyyy
Max: LMAO
O.com: holla!
O.com: rollin up on a plate of cookies with no shirt and a leather vest and a lil punk ass hat…
O.com: COOKIES BBBAAAABBBYYYYYYYY
O.com: MMMMMMMM
Max: QUIT
Max: lmao
O.com: ah man… that was tha guts
Max: be like, WHERE WOULD I BE WITHOUT MY COOOKKAAAAAYS….
O.com: lol 50 called that nigga a sweetheart and everything lol
Max: lol
Max: he is a diva
O.com: lol that nigga dmx had me crying callin that nigga diva
O.com: he was on some… you x that nigga ja up he will let you fuck em!
Max: lmao
O.com: then 50 got this nigga on the end of the track with that gay dude talkin about he a 12 degree pink belt lmao
O.com: said i will jet lei his ass… WAAATTTTTTAAAAAHHHHHHH
Max: not a pink belt
Max: thas as bad as, Tae-bo hoe
O.com: man if i was in the car when i heard that shit… i would have been all in the divider
O.com: lol yea man

ah man… gutty shit… back to work!


…. and every other day of march and the evil people born in that janky ass month.

march is here people… time to face the music and jump threw hoops while pulling tricks out of your ass for your favorite march person…. unless you were cursed and have more than one march person in your life.
lol ha.

the best way to describe people born in march is this: a evil difficult person sent by the devil him self to do his bidding and make YOUR sanity a long lost memory. sad but true. and of course a buncha people born in march are gonna be in my comments talkin a whole buncha shit. i mean honestlly… if you were here doing satans bidding… you wouldnt nobody telling the who ever would listen either!

anyway… this is just my anual hate on march people post… dont mind me. im just bitter.


yes… its the return of the muffin man… ( fuck calvin for that shit lol )

Well…
it turns out i take my cooking a little too seriously… and my pride took that mike tyson right hook to the chin with those two mishaps…
but! ( self hype moment ) like the true champ i am… i showed that true championship heart like kobe in shaq in the fourth quarter ( non laker fans… go head and hate… thank you lol ) and jumped back in the kitchen with a vengence… made two cheese cakes in one night… i made one chesse cake for me and syl. with a layer of cherrys on the bottom and a layer on the top. that shit is good as fuck… syl and her son killed most of it tho… i only got like two big peices… there is one more peice left actually. and if im not hungry by the time i leave to go to my parents house ill let mikey have that one. ( yea i dont play with the cheese cake homie… i wouldnt share the last peice with my mom if i really wanted it )

the second one was all about pride and rep! i had to make a do over cheese cake for errin ( and her shit talkin ass ) im still debating if i actually wanna hand this shit over… i honestly dont think she deserves this shit… but like i said… my pride is at stake here… i cant help it. lol

but… let me also clear something up before i have to start talkin shit about people.
i know i dont post too much personal information about my self on this shit… im not calvin, i can not do that shit. its not that im not as brave or bold… im just a private person. so alotta people dont know too much about me. even people i talk to often. but i like to cook for people. i enjoy it. lol ill only do that shit a couple of times and not often at all ( ask syl ). but i do like to cook for people.
THERE IS NO SIMP NO WHERE IN ME! lol
id rather be baking cakes… than actually doing some caking… like a certain med student we all know.
so fuck calvin lol
i cook for syl… for mikey…
i cooked for Thank Goodness for Weed and Alchol day
i cooked on my own birthday when my family came over…
i cooked for roc when she came out here ( she will tell you about a nigga omlettes lol )
i cook when my cousins some over some time ( hardly ever lol we have more fun actually going to get something some where )
i WONT be cooking for deah when she comes to cali ( not salmon at least )
i cook when i have female company ( not EVERY time )
so FYMF
im cold in the kitchen.

in other news that dont got shit to do with shit… this is the most links ive ever included on a post… ever.

anyway… fuck you muhfuckas again… im not cooking for anybody who talked shit! assholes! lol