February 2003 - Uhmah Park

i think i will retire from making cheese cakes.

ive had two real bad experencies…

the first…
sigh… this shit is devistating… i dont know if i can talk about it. with out crying or some shit.

i made this PRETTY ASS Strawberry ChesseCake. it had a layer of strawberries ( they came in a can ) on the bottom with some of the syrup on the bottom… then the cheese cake was poured on top of that. Baked it, waited for a min…. put some strawberries on the top… in the center… it was beautiful… a work of muthafuckin art even. So… i go to put the shit in the fuckin refridgorator. But.. Heavens to muthafuckin merkatroid…. the shit was still very muthafuckin hot at the gotdamn bottom. What does that mean? did it burn tha fuck out of me?
YES!
But! did that cause me to drop tha shit? NO! i tuffed that shit out!
Did i end up droping that shit tho?
Fucking ugh… YES i muthafuckin did!
What happen?
Well… turns the fuck out that tha gotdamn aluminum… being hot as fuck… was also hella fuckin flembsy. so the shit fuckin FOLDS in the middle!!! colapses in on its self… and i fumbled the muthafucka… even tho i tried HELLA HARD not to do that shit… my efforts were fucking fruitless. i got sticky, SCAULDING HOT ( i burnt the fuck out of my thumb… a big ass glob of hot ass cheese cake got on it ) cheese cake all over my refridgorator and the muthafuckin FLOOR! i was so hurt… i damn near cried… but… i was strong… i held back ( its even hard to now )… i even took pictures of the gorey scene. id post em… but well… the pictures are far too graphic, even for this blogger. ( lol truth is im too lazy and depressed to upload them shits ).
Anyway… it wasnt a TOTAL loss… because yes… in the face of haplessness situation all the repressed ghetto ( and nigga ) tendencies rose up outta my black ass… like jesus supposively did that fatefull day, that came to be known as easter. And i grabbed a muthafuckin spatchla… and scraped that shit up OFF the refridgorator and the floor… BUT i did leave that THIN layer of cheese cake that was actually ATTACHED to and TOUCHING the fucking floor. put that shit on a plate. And called it ” Strawberry CheeseCake Choas ” that shit was fuckin good too!
Sadly though… i could not escape the heart ache of fumbling the cheese cake on the 5 yard line… so close…. but i still blew it.

Now… this happen… i dont know how long ago… the pain however… is still fresh in my heart. But last week… my friend, Errin asked me ( very nicely ) if i would make her a cheese cake… mind you the 2 or 3 before the one i fumbled where nothing short of muthafuckin scrum-diddly-umptious! so i guess she wanted to see what all the hype was about ( i did hype it… the shit was good… they didnt last 36 hours ). i agreed… went to her flat to whip her up one. And what the fuck happens? first of all… my friend… as great as she is… ( let me say that first lol ) has no muthafuckin blender! or hand mixer or anything of the sort… nor a damn mixing bowl lol so here OJ goes… with a fuckin spoon… yes… a spoon… and a muthafuckin pot lol… trying to whipp some thick ass cream cheese and sugar together… OF COURSE i warmed that shit up… but it was still thick as fuck. lol. yes… the wrist got much work tonite… ( inside joke alert ) there will be no kitten murder tonite even if i wanted to lol. i worked up a lil sweat and everything. then… i dont know what kinda shit her oven was on. but i preheated the shit to 350 degrees… slide the cheese cake in there ( Which wasnt lumpy by the way… i knocked that shit out.. i have champion wrist! lol ) . about 15 min past… and im smelling cheese cake? hmm? this isnt right… so i figure im trippin. i go on taking pictures of her dia de los mertoious statue, talkin shit, laughin at bet uncut, chitchatting… but im still smelling cheese cake, and now… the shit is burning… i look at my watch… only 25 min have pasted since i put that shit in!? fuck it… i go check it… and the shit is fuckin burnt! devistated i was, yes. my friends oven is the fucking darkside, it is. how in the fuck can a oven that SAYS it was set to 350… kinda felt like it ( i cook often … kinda lol )…. cook… no BURN a thick ass cheese cake in a record breaking 25 min you ask?
FUCK if i know… im still trying to figure that shit out my gotdamn self. sigh. oh well… but… once more, like a champion boxer who accidently caught that right hook that put him down breifly. all the ghetto rose the hell up outta me ( along with the perfectionist and the pride ridden person that i am ) .. i salvedged that muhfucka too. i picked most of the burnt top layer off… it looked like it should kinda crack… one side was really black… the other side was about my color lol which is still not a good thing. its cooling now… so i guess i will find out if it taste shitty in the morning…. no afternoon. when i am functional and accepting emails, calls ( unless youre name is fuckin John and you wanna call a nigga buckwild early in the morning with tech support questions lol ), and instant messages.

but as it stands at the moment. i may be stepping down from baking cheese cakes. the darkside diet monsters are trying to get me or something… i dont know what the fuck is going on. this is some bullshit… i told my friend i would make her a make up cheese cake, in MY SHIT so it can bake properly… ( and so i can take a big ass peice! )… and if this one turns out shitty. im retiring the oven mitts yall.
NO CHEESE CAKE FOR YOU! or anybody else for that matter… made by oj at least.
imma go to sleep… im honestly sad. two wonderful ass cheese cakes… gone to shit! SHIT!
its a cold world people.

lastly… ive seen the stats for this site… and people get to this shit the weridest ways. like… they will enter the word fuck in a search engine… and my site comes up some how!?! lol damn do i cuss that much?
here are some words i remember off hand that have brought people to this site:

louie vaton — WHAT? lol gotdamn lol
crip — lol
is — ???
murder — fuckin surburban kids.
jheri curl — lol ha ha
flour the kids — lol dumb ass commercial… but why would muhfuckas put this shit in a search engine… 4 people?
concentration camps — ? hell naw?
does halle berry have breast implants — ??? lol umm no ūüôā heh.
dont hate the playa, hate the game — dumb ass shit to say.
gucci farari — this one killed me… lol

but now the word nazi is included on this shit… i really wonder what tha fuck is gonna happen now lol


Can a Dog Be Racist? РThe case of the prejudiced pit bull. By Clara Jeffery

LMAO WHAT?!?!?
holy shit this illustration on this page really takes this artical to another level… i laughed pratically the whole time i was reading this shit!. ahh shit. the picture completes the murder, indeed. lol this shit is ha-muthafuckin-larious!

i need to create a new catorgy for this blogger called ” Gutty Links “… Every since i got MT and this conventient MT IT! link ( it doesnt work on mac but i nigga-rigded it ) i can instantly post anything gutty i see with a link.l

this has a UC Rating of about 80. because initally its fuckin halarious… racist doggs lol gutty shit… even tho ive heard about it… but damn lol the picture fuckin killed it!!!


ah yea!

MY POSSES ON BROADWAY!!!
… in the black benz limo with the cellar phone…..

i remember the first time i heard this shit… i was like 7… in tulsa oklahoma… and one of my older cousins was bangin this tape in her walk man… and she let me listen to it… posses on broadway happen to be playing…
but at the time… i didnt like it… and that made me not wanna kick it with none of them country ass niggas after that. and my whole reasoning was because they listened to wack music lol.

its the guts tho… because i still wont kick it with anybody who listens to too much wack shit.

anyway… the homie hit me up with tha message ” my posses on broadway “, right before i was about to black out and that shit was stuck in my head… i just had to download it… and the remix ( ah yes… there is a remix… its also fresh ) and umm … like 40 other tracks.

i have an addiction lol


F27 Photo Gallery :: The Boyd Wedding

Back in December the homie Theo got married… we had a buncha fun… i need to put the video highlights for that shit up…

hmm… speaking of which… i been meaning to call that nigga theo… i just cant remember what for. fuck.


first of all… i would like to ask… why cant shit ever be easy for me?
just routine shit… takes all fuckin night/day/week/month long…

like when i changed this site… i just wanted to make a simple tempary layout till i get the other shit i REALLY wanted to do going… but just have something simple up because i hated greymatter. shit was suppose to take a couple hours… how long did it take? A WEEK!!! 5 muthafuckin days….
thats just one example…

Sigh… any-muthafuckin-way.

im sittin here HELLA EXCITED about my new hard drive i bought from frys… a western digital 120 gig hard drive… with a 8mb cache!!! that shit was only 200 bucks! with a 5 dollar rebate… i almost got the 200 gig… but i was like fuck it… and got a play station game and dolimite on dvd. IT CRACKS! im hella excited right now… i cant wait to fill this muthafucka up!! i have 20 gigs of music that needs to be moved and a bunch more on the way. ( you got something good? let a nigga know! im lookin for a buncha shit )
anyway… i have named my new Harddrive Fat Bastard… he is 120 gigs of hot sexy storage fo dat ass!!! Get in mah BELLAH!!!

im sorry… im excited… it doesnt happen much… nor does it last that long… and nobody is awake to share my damn joy… so blam… here it is.


First off… i would like to say that i love ESPN’s SportsCenter program. its one of my top 5 favorite TV Shows on Television. the commentators are fuckin halarious… the highlights are fuckin great… they even do serious shit every once in a while….

But i do have one fucking complaint….

at the end of the show they have a segment called ” Did You Know? “. Every single fucking time i see that shit i want to throw something at the TV like FUCK NO i didnt gotdammit know that shit!! Its not like they buss some kinda decent peice of sports trivia… they come with the most useless sports facts EVER… i have never met a person who knew a Did you know… and its not like they come with the Did You Know question… THEN go to commercial break… or some kind of pause so people could at least try to guess… they come on some smarty arty type shit… the type of shit that get you walked away from at a ice breaker. They come with some retarded shit like… Did you know that Shaq and Dirk Nowinski ( like imma know how to spell that shit… ) played the only game in NBA history where 50 points or more were scored by 7 footers… Or some dumb ass shit like that… straight up useless facts. The Did you knows dont have shit to do with any kinda of tangable record and anything a person could maybe guess if they DID have some kinda gap between the question and the answer…
i swear the person or people that come up with these stupid ass facts need to all be pants and bent over and kicked in tha ass with baseball cleets ( since it is a sports show ) untill they fuckin forget!
how do they come up with this shit anyway? i would REALLY like to know.
Did you know my ass… Do You Wanna Know is what that bullshit should be called… or I bet yo ass didnt know…. or The only muhfucka that had any clue up untill this point was us and GOD, and we JUST found out earlier today…

stupid shit… i hate that shit… ive been hating it sine the 11th fuckin grade…


this might be a lil vulgar for some people… but ahh fuck it.

i personally think that taking a piss is an underated pleasure. everytime i REALLY have to take a piss…and i finially get to releive my self… i can not discribe how great that shit is. for some reason i dont think people embrass the pleasure of taking a piss.
when people talk about things that please them the most… nobody ever says taking a piss… i can understand how a muhfucka might not be lookin forward to having to piss, like YES i have to piss again!! but once the piss is actually taken. the shit is great!

i dont know… maybe its just me.


F27 Photo Gallery :: San Diego – Super Bowl Weekend

New Photos posted… JD has been buggin my black ass to do this shit for weeks… and i just got time… is here it is!

San Diego was hella fun… i cant wait till i find a REAL good excuse to go back down there.

I knew we was gonna have fun, because the first night we got there… we went on a quest for food. It was 3 am… and wasnt shit open. We go downtown to see whasup and its a big ass party going on down there. So we park… walk around and what not… found a Subway that was still open. The line was long but it was the only shit still open. When i got to the register i noticed a old ass lady in the corner with food all over the table being hella gross. damn near fucked up my appitite. Midway thru the meal we hear the subway manager ask this old white lady to leave… and she started bitchin!! NO NO NO!! fuck that!! i dont have to go anywhere… so they exchange words and what not… then… in a fit of fustration… ol girl goes… ” why do i have to leave? Im not a threat!! IM WHITE!!!! ”
ahh we fell the fuck out… that shit was halarious… the subway manager, a black dude… but he was a foriegnier… i dont know where he was from… but he wasnt local at all… this nigga made her ass get the fuck out after that shit…
anyway… pictures 2 and 3 you can see the white lady…. and her room tempature ass sammich. She followed us for a block and a half after we left ( she was posted outside some where ) and went on and on about being kicked out… we eventually had to step livley away from her ass.
And thats how the weekend started off.


Man… i cant think what to write in this muthafucka for shit…
i was gonna post some shit about the allstar game… but i didnt wanna get all glazed eyed about mike again — i dont giva fuck… if you are a true basketball fan between the ages of 21 and 30 micheal jordan meant the world to you… that shit was fuckin emotional —
and then i did think of some off shit in the car one day… but i cant remember what that was…
so fuck it. ill just post converstions between me and the peopel that populate my AIM buddy list.
— i got material for years! —

Here goes some shit Calvin and my self were talking about a couple of weeks back:

Calvin: NIGGA
Calvin: OJ Simpson’s daughter looks like a Soprano’s cast member
OJ: nigga
OJ: she is fuckin folded
OJ: that is the ugliest mixed child ever conceived (sp)
Calvin: Man….was I crazy to think that when she was younger she had potential?
Calvin: I mean she had the whole black eyebrows, blonde hair thing going…but depending on what way her body grew she coulda been decent
Calvin: now she looks like a low grade, Sesame Street only Muppet
OJ: lol no not really
OJ: LM