O on Jay

No, I’m not talking about Obama on Jay Leno tonite, Im talking about me ( OJ ) ... well I didnt exactly make the show. It just so happens that I was kinda working with a R&B group at the time. They were in town and asked if I wanted to come to the Tonite show and watch a taping. SURE! Why the hell not ?!?

So here I am sitting there, I didnt know who was gonna be on the show or anything. I just knew who the musical guest was. Were all seated and this comedian guy comes out and cracks a couple of jokes, goes into his whole crowd hype routine to get the audience going and what not. He tells us that Halle Berry and Tim Russert (R.I.P.), SCORE! I wont go into how I felt about Halle being there but I knew who Tim Russert was and I really wanted to watch that interview. Not only that, but I figured this would be the closest I’d EVER get to Halle Berry. Then the comedian guy goes into this thing where we were suppose to practice for Jay to come out and we were suppose to get up and clap and cheer like they do in the beginning of every show. But it was just practice… and well, at the time I kinda felt like Allen Iverson about them and their gotdamn practice applause and hype. I figured I’d stand my black ass up and clap when Jay brought his ass the fuck out! Applause practice my ass.

I think white people take practice pretty fucking seriously, because just like Allen Iverson, jokes on you nigger!!! Turns out practice was pretty fucking important… at least important enough to make a super big deal over. So they conduct their little practice. Me and this other guy that was with the group of people who all went on the performer free ticket come up train stayed seated and didnt clap. Well I guess this man clapped but my ass sure didnt. Fuck Imma clap for? Might as well stand and yell too right? Fuck that. Im waiting for Jay. To this comedian guys credit… kinda… he DID say that he wanted EVERY last person to get up and clap. He DID say he wasnt playing about it. He DID say they would punish offenders.
Maybe its because I’m a child of the ghetto. But Practice + seemingly empty threat = recipe for defiance. So I dont stand. Then this guy goes into this speech how every SINGLE show there is ONE person that doesnt doesnt stand yap yap yap. So what do these muthafuckas do? They’re like… we know who didnt stand! WE ARE GONNA POINT HIM OUT!
Im sitting there like .................... never. The fucking lights dim! A spot light scans the crowd all buck wild and crazy then….... stops on my Black ass. Not only did the light just stop. the whole studio went PITCH fucking BLACK! The light narrowed in on me! Next, in true nigga fashion. The other dude that didnt stand, scooted his black ass as far as he could away from me!!! He leaned all over in the lap of the people to his side and shit! This nigga abandoned me in the coldest most flagrant manner. We was chattin it up in line, the 5 minutes it took to get the show started and shit. Now this nigga dont know me AT ALL!!! So to make the shit as bad as possible. Not only have the lights gone out. Not only is the ONLY Light source on me! These muthafuckas play the universal music to let you know that youre all alone. You know that old western music that plays in a western when the cowboy steps on the scene and there is nobody there, then a tumble weed rolls by for no reason. They play THAT music as the light narrows in on me. As if that VERY same music wasnt already playing in my head. The only reason I KNOW I didnt imagine that music coming on, because it was THAT gotdamn traumatic lol, is because the whole audience laughed right when it came on. With various “OH SHIT!” reactions. Which kinda made it all that much worse, because that means that music really DID play to make the murder complete. These fools made me clap and cheer. I was hot lol. But I couldnt help by laugh my way though the whole event. lol Shit was fuckin terrible though lol I dont think anything that bad has happen to me still to this day lol.

So after all that shit happens. Jay comes out, and yes… I stood my black ass up and cheered. I got up and cheered and I wasnt even on TV. The guy even said. Well… If I was you I wouldnt have stood either, thats the corner that the cameras for sure will never catch on the crowd shot lol Even tho, it was front row, just at the top of a tall ass wall. So as Jay is going through his monalouge. Some BIG ASS White boy in a NBC Suit rolls up on me and asked me, “Are you OJ?”. Im thinking to myself. Aint this about a muthafucking BITCH! these niggas are about to kick me out over this shit too?!?!!? Hold up, how he know my name?! I answer yes, everybody around is thinking the same shit I’m thinking. Gotdamn these guys are fucking facist. They are really gonna kick him out after they embarassed the fuck out of him and only threw him some punk ass Tonite Show Foam Coffee Mug Holder, not even a fuckin T-shirt or something I wouldnt lose before I left the fuckin premises. But whatever. Fuck it, Imma just get kicked out. The show was still filming so I didnt get all loud and ethnic and protest my black ass off. Leading off with a customary “AH HELL MUTHAFUCKIN NAW! THIS IS SOME MUTHAFUCKIN BUUUUUULSHIT!!!!” lol imagine if that would have been in the background of the taping lol. LOL But thats not what happen.

Im following this big ass well dressed security guard and he went from serious as fuck to kinda geeked. HM? “Hey, are you about to kick me out for not standing?” He turns around cheesing like “NAW! We’re going backstage!” he tells me “I think Halle Berry is about to be back here come on!!” I forgot the guys name who was with the people I was working with backstage, but he was cool as fuck. He heard I was there and had a camera. So he had somebody come find me and brind me backstage to take a picture of Kelly and Halle Berry. SO WE COULD ALL MEET HALLE BERRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well kinda. We were all just trying to get a closer look. Here I go thinking the closest I was gonna get was off in the crowd some where. What a instant bizzaro world change of fortune right?!

So here I am backstage all of a sudden. The security guard takes me to the guy thats looking for me and I’m back there socializing cracking jokes with people I dont know, listening in on conversations and shit lol having the time of my damn life lol. Then we hear that Halle is around the corner! She’s suppose to come in do the interview really fast, then be out because she needed to be on time for the James Bond premier, she was promoting the movie, because she was in it. Yea, it was around that time. Which should explain my fit, and the fits in the coming pictures lol. Im pretty bad with years, so I couldnt name the year. I just know it was when the Halle Berry James Bond came out. So she gets there and shes about to go on. And we all file out from the green room or whatever back stage to behind behind the stage part where The guest get ready to walk out and there she was. Sigh. She was standing with her back to us, bouncing around. Looking like she had pre stage jitters or something.FINE AS FUCK! Short little dress on, super high heels, just bouncing around looking amazing. And here we go. It was me and 5 other black dudes kinda huddled together completly star struck. Mouths collectivly hanging open. Then I guess she felt all the attention she was getting because she started to peek over her shoulder and grin all sexy n shit. She did it like three times. Then all of a sudden she turns around! Runs towards us! Just so happens, Im standing in the front of the group, standing there holding my camera. The backstage crew told me I couldnt take any pictures before they were gonna go on. So she runs over to us and everybody bunched in behind me all ears. She says “Hey guys! Are you with Kelly Rowlands band?”
These dudes behind me are all the back up singers, producers, road people n shit. None of these fools said ANYTHING. She’s looking in everybody faces for answers. Finally I spoke up like, Yea, we are. Then they all said… “yea yea… we are too” I swear I’m not making this up, I thought I was on a fucking sitcom. But since I spoke up… she touched me! sigh… she touched me on my arm and spoke to me with her little self. She explained that she loved Kelly Rowland and she wanted to get a chance to see her before she left, but she had to leave RIGHT after the interview so she could change, and go to the premier! I was… “uh huh…. ummm I have to take yall picture too… for Kelly… I’ll be quick” Yes… I got to tell Halle Berry “ill be quick” lmao sorry. Anyway. So as she was thanking me and touching on my forearms and hands some more she was being called to go on and she pranced off! She hit that corner and it was like she left the real world and then steped right into the TV. There was a monitor right to the side. So as she hit the corner she appeared on TV. It was one of the most surreal moments in my life. There was another moment like that for me, when I got to kiss some one I was in love with for the first time. It was great because when I first saw her it was love at first site and everything. Except for it was kinda in reverse. It went from something that wasnt all the way real, sorta like TV. But at that first kiss moment, thats when it became real. Thats the only time I’ve ever got to feel that way after that moment. It was fuckin magic gotdammit lol.

So here I go, Lingering my ass off backstage. Talking to the crew and what not. Checking out the set up. Im a generally curious dude. I wanted to know how a TV show ran. I never knew the show aired live on the east coast for the most part. I was in awe.

Big backstage took away alot of the magic of TV for me. But it was welcomed knowledge. I always wanted to know how they manged to make this shit work.
Who would have known I would eventually do something kinda similar one day. Sometimes I think this whole experience inspired me / helped me to build PrimeTimeUncensored.com. Being back there connected a ton of dots. Maybe you can see it on my face in the pictures above lol. I had to take a picture of myself back there. I didnt think anybody would believe me.

The story doesnt end here though.

So I waited around for the interview to be over and we went and got Kelly so she could be in the hallway when she came out.

It was great. Off to the far left, half cut out of the picture, youll see Tim Russert! (RIP)

So after this picture was taken, Halle rushes off to a room to change so she can leave and Kelly keeps it moving to the stage because she is about to go on. Mean while. I suppose Tim Russert and I has the same idea. Because where he’s standing in that picture, I went and stood right next to him. Partly because he’s Tim Russert but mainly because I knew it wasnt gonna take extremely long for Halle to change and prance her self right down that same hall way to leave. So Im standing next to Tim Russert and we kinda chop it up a tad. I wanted to ask him SOMETHING, but I was worried that he would wrap me up in some interesting coversation and I’d miss Halle. I couldnt even think of nothing to say really. He did most of the talking lol. I think we were using each other to wait around. No one was gonna tell him to clear the way and if he was talking to me, clearly Tim Russert was busy with a guest, if you value your job, youll leave them be! I dont know. Thats what I was hoping for Mind you this whole hall way is actually semi lined with guys who all had the same bright Tim Russert and I had. Lets wait around for Halle to leave. And she did. As she made her way down the hall way, she looked up at me and gave me a wink and a grin!
I SWEAR I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP!!!! TIM RUSSERT SAW HER DO IT!! He nudged me n shit like “hey hey hey!! she gave you a wink! I saw that!” I do realize that my only witness is sadly no longer with us and does make for a very convenient situation for me. But I say, even if he was still alive. With all the shit thats going on now and has happen that he has missed out on. He wouldnt remember shit about this moment like I do lol. So he couldnt really verify anyway.
So there. lol Case stated and proven not to be disputed.

This was the crazyest day. I couldnt believe all this shit happen all with in 2 hours. One of the best days of my life!!

Shout out to Alan Flyod who indirectly set me up for this great day! YOUR THE MAN ALAN! lol