The Pampered Black Man Archives - Uhmah Park

When I was younger, I was a big ass Public Enemy fan.You can ask JD lol. My father was in the Nation of Islam, and all my friends branded me as a Militant lol. I mean, I was “militant” as fuck. To a fault sometimes, but that is the life of a “Militant” I guess lol. I wouldnt say I was militant, I was just more into the truth, and I would get upset when people would try to come at me with bullshit lol. Something that still pleagues me to this day, but I’ve been trying to battle that recently. I shouldnt get upset at things like that. Actually, watching Barack Obama effectively handle Hillary and Bill Clinton when they pulled out the classic white people tactic of pressing niggas buttons, in the special white person way, that they all seem to fucking have down pact lol. They went pretty far too. They straddled the racism line and everything. They did everything and used every tactic they could to make this man lose his temper and just bust out with a “BITCH PLEASE!!! Gotdamn shut that shit up already…” or the classic “its because im black”. They went with the stick to your own truth dispite the fact that real truth has been presented numerous times, tactic. They did the shit that McCain is doing right now, trying to be-little this mans accomplishments. They tried thier asses off. It was like by the time that they really felt like he had a good chance of winning, they didnt have long enough to really think and prepare for that, and didnt know how to attack him at all. Nothing would really work. The only two things that even work against the man is 1. his race and 2. the fact that he is a democrat and the country is split down the middle.

Watching Obama brain bang on Hillary and Bill, and then now watching how he is taking it to McCain and Palin. This has really been my inspiration to keep my temper through a storm of bullshit. Obama is clearly out smarting these people left and right. Not only that but he is better than them, at what they have been making a living on since the country has been established. No, I dont mean he is good at putting niggas to work. Well, maybe. Because I dont think all these news people really realize how Black people really get down.
If niggas supported, Micheal Jackson through touching kids, R Kelly pissing on girls, and OJ Simpson killing white people. Supporting a Black man for president, ON VOTING DAY? Especially with Palin running now? I think when the time comes the country will see whats crackin when its actually TIME to do something. Thats just what I think though. LOL aint like niggas havent let me down before.

Anyway, I didnt mean to start off on a rant, I just wanted to show off my new digs n shit lol. Like I was saying, when I was younger, I was a big Public Enemy fan. I had a few PE t shirts. But I always wanted a jacket. Never had the doe. But thanks to Obey, I was able to finally cop me a fresh ass PE jacket after all these years. Couldnt be happier!

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Ah yea, dont hate on the Lo Teddy in the corner either bitch. lol A nigga like me couldnt be happier. I got one of the Obey / PE t shirts too. Because that shit goes nice with my Black and Mellow Yellow J’s!

Lastly, I leave you with the lyrics from one of my favorite Public Enemy tracks. Dont Believe The Hype. Fitting, yea?

Back
Caught you lookin’ for the same thing
It’s a new thing check out this I bring
Uh Oh the roll below the level
‘Cause I’m livin’ low next to the bass C’mon
Turn up the radio
They claim that I’m a criminal
By now I wonder how
Some people never know
The enemy could be their friend guardian
I’m not a hooligan
I rock the party and

Clear all the madness, I’m not a racist
Preach to teach to all
‘Cause some they never had this
Number one, not born to run
About the gun…
I wasn’t licensed to have one

The minute they see me, fear me
I’m the epitome – a public enemy
Used, abused without clues
I refused to blow a fuse
They even had it on the news
Don’t believe the hype…

Yes
Was the start of my last jam
So here it is again, another def jam
But since I gave you all a little something
That we knew you lacked
They still consider me a new jack
All the critics you can hang’em
I’ll hold the rope
But they hope to the pope
And pray it ain’t dope

The follower of Farrakhan
Don’t tell me that you understand
Until you hear the man
The book of the new school rap game
Writers treat me like Coltrane, insane
Yes to them, but to me I’m a different kind
We’re brothers of the same mind, unblind
Caught in the middle and
Not surrenderin’
I don’t rhyme for the sake of of riddlin’
Some claim that I’m a smuggler
Some say I never heard of ‘ya
A rap burgler, false media
We don’t need it do we?
It’s fake that’s what it be to ‘ya, dig me?
Don’t believe the hype…

Don’t believe the hype – its a sequel
As an equal, can I get this through to you
My 98’s boomin’ with a trunk of funk
All the jealous punks can’t stop the dunk
Comin’ from the school of hard knocks
Some perpetrate, they drink Clorox
Attack the black, cause I know they lack exact
The cold facts, and still they try to Xerox

Leader of the new school, uncool
Never played the fool, just made the rules
Remember there’s a need to get alarmed
Again I said I was a timebomb
In the daytime the radio’s scared of me
‘Cause I’m mad, plus I’m the enemy
They can’t c’mon and play with me in primetime
‘Cause I know the time, plus I’m gettin’ mine

I get on the mix late in the night
They know I’m livin’ right, so here go the mike, sike
Before I let it go, don’t rush my show
You try to reach and grab and get elbowed
Word to herb, yo if you can’t swing this
Just a little bit of the taste of the bass for you
As you get up and dance at the LQ
When some deny it, defy if I swing bolos
Then they clear the lane I go solo
The meaning of all of that
Some media is the whack
You believe it’s true, it blows me through the roof

Suckers, liars get me a shovel
Some writers I know are damn devils
For them I say don’t believe the hype
Yo Chuck, they must be on a pipe, right?
Their pens and pads I’ll snatch
‘Cause I’ve had it
I’m not an addict fiendin’ for static
I’ll see their tape recoreder and grab it
No, you can’t have it back silly rabbit
I’m going’ to my media assassin
Harry Allen, I gotta ask him
Yo Harry, you’re a writer, are we that type?
Don’t believe the hype
I got flavor and all those things you know
Yeah boy, part two bum rush and show
Yo Griff, get the green black red and
Gold down countdown to Armageddon
-88 you wait the S1Ws will
Rock the hard jams – treat it like a seminar
Teach the bourgeoise, and rock the boulevard
Some sau I’m negative
But they’re not positive
But what I got to give…
The media says this

lol i could go on and on, but I got shit to do lol. Have fun clicking through the links. But if you do follow them, it might give you a little bit more incite to why I’m such a PE fan. I cant listen to militant rap all gotdamn day tho. Id honestly rather read a gotdamn book homie. I mean, how much fucking knowledge can you fit in a 3 min song? Or an album for that matter. Plus, Im suppose to take some rappers word for it? Chuck D, Ras Kass, Lil Wayne, I dont give a fuck. Ill be damn if I just take some rappers word on something serious and not at least go look it up. Especially with the internet these days, I mean damn. But, anyway lol thats why Im a PE fan, and always have been. Same reason Im a Wu-Tang Clan fan too though. But just throw in some TOUCH NOTCH mc’n and oh boy. Bliss through beats and rhymes.


Back when OSX first came out, I became a Mac user. Dont remember when that was. Maybe 2002. I became a Mac user. Mainly because I came up on one for cheap lol. The one day some how some way, my PC fucked up, and I became a full time Mac user, for years. like… 3. lol. Maybe 2 and some change. I dont remember all the way.

I decided to switch back to a PC, because the whole mac situation just irritated me (lol sorry, not really). And every pc ive ever put together, has run faster than any store bought mac Ive ever bought. Well, some years ago, for no good reason, one of my back up hard drives on my pc just fucking up and died on me. What was on that drive? All my music, and all my pictures. It was about 6 years of pictures on that hard drive. Some people may remember there used to be a photoblog on this site (which is coming back at some point.) all those photos, were lost. All the pictures I had planned to put on that photoblogger were lost. Alot of my memories, just gone. I still have the hard drive. And I plan on getting everything off that drive some day, one way or another. Which my shit died, I shed a few tears. Sigh, around that time, I dont know… I was going through so much, and my whole life was slowly falling apart all around me in damn near every aspect, and I couldnt do shit about it, no matter how hard I tried. This was just 1 more thing to the pot, that eventually led to me having a nervious fucking break down lol. (im not playing lol i really did have one for the most part)

Anyway, way back when, I named my Mac… Darth Uhmah. Because by coping the mac, I felt like I went to the dark side lol. But I was really loving the Mac, so fuck it. I named it after the ultimate representive of the Dark Side of the force. The Darth. Not Darth Vadar particularly, because if youre live like that, youre gonna get the title of Darth… Maul, Vadar, etc. LOL I take pride in naming my shit for whatever reason. I also used to have a hard drive named “Fredie Five Fingers”, “Dr. Orange” all kinds of shit. lol

So on with the story and the point of this post, kinda lol. Recently I switched over this site from using wordpress and a whole bunch of other free scripts around the net to just one simple Expression Engine install, which has been fucking great so far. I did have to break ALL of my gotdamn links, site and everything else. But eh, fuck it, who cares, I dont try to make any money off this site. Its really just for me to practice. Thats why alot of shit on this site never works lol. Because I use this site to fuck up on lol.

However, when I switched to Expresson Engine, I quickly found out, the default templates and the free templates are fucking awful lol. I was trying to get the fuck off my high and perfect horse, and I was just gonna let this site look any kinda way. And I did, I am proud of myself for letting it look like it did for as long as it did. Shit was rough lol. So after a while, and after my work load got a tad lighter. I decided to put together at least just a temporary sitaution that looked better than the last shit. Which this is.

So I was sitting around thinking of something that I would be OK with as a temporary solution, and I thought so myself… Why dont you use something old that you never put up? Which seemed like a great idea, except for I couldnt find any of my old artwork. Turns out, it was all on my old Darth Uhmah hard drive, that I had laid out to pasture because I havent used my G4 for years. So I fire up that bitch and low and behold, I found a bulk of all my old pictures! I swear, I shed a few tears. I can count on 1 hand the times I have cried tears of joy. This was one of them. There are still a ton of pictures that are still lost on that dead hard drive, but i found all the first pictures I ever took. Thousands. You talk about HELLA fuckin Happy? Man, Ive been going through most of them all day. I havent gotten shit done. lol.

So now lol, the site. Since I found ALL of my old artwork, that I havent seen in years. I figure, why not put it up? Might as well. There is a buncha shit I need to put on this site that Ive done over the years that have never seen the light of day. Want an example? Click here lol. Sigh, I think I might actually do something with that too some how some way…. one damn day lol.

About the background image, Uhmah Everywhere. I remember back in the day, a few graphic designers I knew, or knew of rather. Because still to this day, I dont know any of the people I started out with. I just know of them lol. So back in the day, a few graphic designers around the net took the logos from their site or some other design they did, and they would make stickers. They would make stickers and then paste them around their respective cities, take pictures and what not. I always thought it was pretty damn cool lol. I always wanted to do the same thing, but I didnt wanna pay for the fucking stickers, nor did I wanna be a biter. But I still wanted to do the same thing kinda. I also have this thing about me where Im SUPER competitive. So if Imma do something similar to somebody else, I have to 1 up them lol. So I thought it would be dope if I could get The Uhmah ( the moai with the afro lol ) on the side of a building or a truck or a bill board or something. Now, a nigga like myself would REALLY wasnt about to pay for that shit lol. And 1 upping these dudes wasnt all that serious to me, so I was like fuck it, Ill just practice my photoshopping by photoshopping the uhmah on the side of different shit. Turns out I only had time to do 1. This was it lol.

I was gonna touch it up and make it look better. The picture was taken with a 2 mp camera in like… 2002 I beleive. On the freeway lol. Syl and I were going some where. I didnt take this picture with the intent on using it for this. I just have a thing for Disel Trucks. That thing is Im actually scared of them shits. And when I say scared, I dont mean scared in the traditional sense. I just fear them shits on the road. My father used to drive an hour down the 10 both ways every day to work when I was younger, and he used to tell me all kinds of stories about 16 wheelers fucking people up, and almost fucking him up a bunch of times. So naturally when my Black ass started driving, I will RUN like a girl from a fucking Diesel truck on the road. Its hard to tell with the way I drive, but trust me. Im totally scared of them shits.

Speaking of old shit and trucks though, here goes more evidence to go against what I was JUST saying lol

LOL No, I didnt take that picture, but I did make the girl with the fro lol.
I was gonna do a flash project called “The Big Uhmah Trucking Co.” to work on my flash skills, get some practice in, and to use a bunch of pictures I took of trucks. ( I used to have a bunch ). I think I made this graphic in 2002 too.

Ive been going through my old artwork all day too… LOL some of this old shit I did, I think is incrediably lame now… some of it is just bad. … and well never see the light of day lol.

 

So now this shit looks different, and I can sleep at night. LOL. This site is a constant work in motion, so if its fucked up. Then so what lol.


Dammit. I really like these shoes, but they HURT like a muthafucka. No matter what kinda socks I wear. It’s fucking terrible. These are Cole Haan’s with the Nike Air bottoms or whatever. HYPE! So on friday, these go back to Nordstroms. I’m so sad. They are so fresh for like 10 min or 50 steps then everything goes to shit. It’s fucked up. I wore these out to some where in Pasadena with some friends of mine. I cant even remember what happen right now a nigga was in so much fucking pain. I felt like some of the females I’ve kicked it with when they complain about their shoes kickin they ass lol. But they dont wanna get rid of the shoes because they are so cute.

I dont think these shits is “cute” rather than “fresh”. And these shits will be returned to the retail store in which they came. I couldnt even smoke AND drink away the pain. Oh, and like a dumb fuck… I did that shit TWICE! I thought maybe, if I wore thinner socks they might not hurt. WRONG WRONG WRONG!!! PAIN was once again my companion for the night. I would have brought some other shoes, all the other shoes that I had that were maybe appropriate were way too dressy. I thought I was cool for a long ass time. And then I dont know what happen… some where in Santa Monica , these shits started whooping my ass. And what the fuck were we doing that night? Bar hopping! Gotdamn!! I drank alot that night, and felt every last fucking step. Shit was terrible. There was no drinking away that pain.

Anyway, lucky for me that Nordstroms is having a mens sale starting on Friday! It goes down for me! I might have to make a special trip to the city and everything.  I have to figure out what I want though. Peace. lol


Reading “pampered black man” youre probably thinking some shit like this shit to the left. But I assure you. I live in LA, its never cold enough to dress like that, and I still have anxiety from the gang problem we used to have out here, there aint no way in the FUCK id roll around with bright red gloves on lmao. The Umbrella and Jacket is dope tho. I dont wear hats either lol.

But anyway… The homie, Yong thinks he’s the guts (he is) and he has dubbed me “The Pampered Black Man”, due a mildly popular opinion that OJ is boughie.

Whatever. If insisting on purchasing quality shit Im able to afford is boughie, then I guess Im boughie.
Cheap fast food hurts my stomach, I cant help if the shit hurt. Pain is pain and its not in my fucking head, its in my stomach, im sure of it because thats the shit thats hurting. asshole lol. (ive been told that like 4 times). If insisting that I do nigga shit on my own terms makes me boughie lol. Then fuck it, Im boughie … whatever. Yes I bump my music hella loud in my car in whom evers neighborhood at any time of the day. But no I do not eat watermelon. I really dont like that shit… plus it attracts flies. And I REALLY fucking hate flies. For the record I dont think watermelon is nasty, I just dont think it taste great. Id rather drink water. Fuck it. Foreal. Its the same shit damn near, sans flies nigga gotdamn.

For a while, I used to refuse to fuck with subway. But I think niggas seem to forget I used to work at subway (Not JD though, he has plenty to say about it im sure). So Ive had my fair share of subway. Fucking plenty in fact lol. But for a while, I actually never got tired of it. Then… I was introduced to quiznos and togos… while I dont like togos, I will agree that it cracks a little bit more than subway. So, a nigga like me figures, why go to subway if I can go to quiznos and eat better?! psh, fuck the dumb. Subway is a bit over priced as it is for what it is (used to be lol). I have to pass TWO subways to get to the closest quiznos to my house. Which I do often lol. This was back before subway started toasting they’re sandwiches though. I tried the toasted joints when they first started with em, but I still really refuse to fuck with subway when there is something so much better out there.

But then… 5… 5 dolla… FIVE DOLLAR FOOT LONGS!?! Nigga are you serious? Thats way too much of a deal. A Subway sandwich is definitely worth 5 bucks. Thats a healthy meal for five bucks, you really cant beat that. Shit, the shit costing 5 bucks damn near make it taste a little bit better than before lol. SO recently I have rekindled the flame with an old favorite. The foot long turkey sandwich on wheat. No bell peppers, please and thank you. And eventually hopefully at some point, ill be rekindling a flame with my all time favorite ;-). Have I not fucked with quiznos since the special and catchy ass song. Well I would, but that shit is far lol. But yea I have, just not as much because I have to pass that subway… my truck always turns that way, I dont know what it is. lol.

Good Nite… on my 800 thread count sheets on my Cali King bed lol. MMMMMMMMMM You know what, I think these sheets feel a little bit better because they cost like 500 bucks, but I came up on em for 80 dollars on the macys merger sale a while back. Aint nothing like the come up! No matter what, Im never too good for a come up lol. I have nice shit, but I hardly ever pay full price. lol thats dumb lol


If you have the fortune of having a Vons in your area. I STRONGLY suggest hitting up Vons.com.

Why? You ask? Ill tell you why my friend. Because they muthafuckin deliver gotdammit! As in, to your door. As in, you can order your food online, and they will deliver the shit! to your door!
Call me what you want… bougie, LATE ( because i think errin was up on this shit when she lived out here ) than a muthafucka… which or whatever… call me easily satisfied and impressed to right along with that if you will. I dont care less. I just found the thing that is about to cure half of the woes in my LIFE!!!

How is that? Because i am the laziest nigga there ever was… but some how im a workaholic at the same time. I swear… ask anybody in my list of links. But lets forget the fact that sounds impossible on paper. And lets try to focus on what that could possibly mean in real life.

It means that work gets in the way of grocery shopping lol. which means the cubbards are bare way more than they should be. which means i dont eat like i should. But i really tend not to notice because im focused on work. Whatever. But now that i can sit here, work and shop at the same damn time!! and then have the food delivered RIGHT to might door.

That means… even if i wasnt fuckin workin, i dont have to get my black ass up, deal with the elements, DRIVE to the muthafuckin store, walk my black ass through the store, isle by damn isle, figure out what i want… dodge kids, old people, other muthafuckas… yap yap yap yap. THEN! Lets not forget about me not having to stand the fuck in line! I HATE STANDING IN LINE! I dont think im too good to stand in line… like some people. lol I just dont fuckin LIKE to stand in line at all. I would not be oppssed to having my own personal check out clerk. ready just for me. turning other muthafuckas in line down. like no… im his check out clerk. Have the bag boy making room n shit. That i could go for. But since that shit aint happening. ill take my black ass to vons.com order my food whenever… pick a delivery time for the next day ( or the day after if they busy. but if you time your shit correctly and dont wait till you out of everything you should be straight lol ). Blam. Your food shows up when the fuck you think it should.

I HIGHLY recommend this to people who live in apartment buildings that dont have elevators… shit fuck it, if you dont have a garage, dont even fuckin go to the store. i promise you. its WELL worth it. Unless you absolutley love going to the grocery store like that. Psh, this is the fucking LICK.

Sounds great OJ, how much does it cost?? Well… im glad you asked. 15 muthafuckin dollars. Can you believe that shit? AND you automatically get all the club card discount deals! you dont even have to remember your mamma or your auntie or your homie number who you know gotta vons card you ghetto muthafuckas you! I know there are TONS of niggas who do that shit, because IIIIII Fucking doing that shit!!! LMAO!!! Fuck applying for a card, i aint trying to hold up the line like that, or let my fucking ice cream melt in my basket while im filling that shit out. I already dont wanna be in that bitch in the first damn place! LOL wooo. anyway…
Oh, and if you spend $150, delivery is only like 5 bucks.  It goes down.

Gas is high, 15 dollars aint shit! They bring the shit right to your door. I honestly kinda feel like people who dont use this service are damn near dumb lol. Unless you love going to the market. Me personally, i hate it, i got shit to do. Ill go if i need something in particular. but on the regular, all the time, once every one or two weeks homie? fuck that.

Call me what you want to. This is one of the top 10 things the internet has to fucking offer. This is just as good as being able to make money off the internet and not having to leave the house for days at a time during the winter when its cold as fuck. This is good as being over paid.

You know what? I have a confession. I used to conserve food. because i wanted it to last. because i didnt wanna go to the fucking store sooner than i felt i had to. I used to try to eat all my food so it would all kinda run out at the same time. Im kinda decent at it to tell the truth.  Aint that a muthafuckin shame??? I know. It is. I suck. I can admit it. Fuck… Imma get fuckin fat now. Well… maybe not, maybe ill just gain my fucking weight back. lol Which would crack.

Honestly you know what? I started practicing conserving my food so it would all run out at the same time when i lived in phoenix. lol. A nigga was in school, and i was fuckin broke. But im not really THAT broke these days… so i have no other reason to do that shit, other than the fact that im trying to avoid the super market if i can. Pitiful, yes. Oh well. That was then. Vons.com is now. OJ is the fucking “Pampered Black Man” according to Yong ( fuck him ) . Ill be that, if that means i can order my shit online more than often. and be at the store as less as possible lol.  Fuck it lol. Shits great.

Oh, let me warn you though. Ordering food online is a TAD muthafuckin tricky, you WILL fuck up if youre blowed and hungry and everything look good, and youre not paying attention to the quantity of shit and shit lol. shit, youll fuck up sober… i did lol. i  fucking ordered ONE bannana. I mean, the picture of them shits was pack of bannanas n shit, lol. So on the amount, i put 1, because i wanted ONE pack like the picture said! Honestly, it probably did say that it was only one. but whatever. I didnt make that mistake twice. fuck the dumb lol. i orderd 10 this time! lol Yes, at the current date, i am on my second go round with vons.com. Sometimes they are out of stock. sometimes they can sub it. sometimes they cant. Still worth it. its just like if you were there. True… the person shopping for you dont care as much as you do. but still worth it at the end of the day. You CAN send special instructions to the TEE if youre anal like that. And im sure a few people reading this are thinking to themselves… nigga your list must be vicious. Fuck off. its not. i dont even write shit lol. i just order. I dont even bitch when they fuck up im so happy with this shit.

Fuck this imma go eat.