THE INS Archives - Uhmah Park

In the wake of women every where looking at there could be / would be significant others like they “really do wish you would think you can put your gotdamn hands on me”. The rare case of reverse domestic violence has grown in alarming numbers. Specifically in Fairfeild, Conn. Where a man, terrified for his dick and his life, was forced to call 911 on his wife because took it upon herself lock the door from the outside, handcuff her self and him to the bed. She refused to let him go until they talked about the divorce he was asking for. Apparently he wasnt corporating to her liking then had the absolute nerve to call 911! This clearly the womans breaking point actually starting to bite her husband. With her teeth. During the 911 call you can here it go down, its horrifying. Horrifying!


Recently it was reported that AIG rewarded $165 Million dollars in bonuses to deriviative traders. Some of the people who did a poor job, at their job and killed the company. Earlier today the President expressed his outrage and managed to slip in a joke lol.

I wonder how these guys feel to hear the president say that he is gonna have his people come after the money you JUST came up on? The millions of dollars wernt split evenly between all the exec’s some got as little as a few thousand dollars. Which does of course mean, a few got millions. Aint that about a bitch? Not only that, but all this was arranged BEFORE Obama was even elected! Which means somebody let this slide through a long time ago.

But if I were these guys, Id just hand that money straight back over. Not only will it make you all look better. But soon some out of control uber patriot is gonna be knocking at one of these dudes doors asking for his cheese back. They already beefed up security. I hope they use some of that bouns money for some sort of protection at home. AIG cant afford it lol.


Its truly a new day. White people cant get away with shit anymore.  Everybody is making money off Obama. But as soon as one white guy with a really white last name (Blagojevich) tries to sell Obamas old Senate seat. They throw try to throw the book at this man! He not only does he get busted but he is probably gonna do more time than OJ!! And its other white people who are demanding this happen! I can hardly believe it!

Mean while, there are TONS of Black people walking around selling a variety of Obama paraphernalia.  Its like Obama is a walking stimulus plan himself! Before he was even elected! All the while nobody has contributed a single cent to his campaign. No royalty payments have been made. Its Obama face and slogans people are using, the man that we all love… yet some of us dont love the man enough to give him a piece of the pie. There arent any lawyers hunting down people trying to serve them cease and desist orders. Nothing. Yet. Here goes good ol Blagojevich who has been under investigation for TWO YEARS. And HE KNEW ABOUT IT! He was two years into being watched by the feds and had not gotten pinched. He wasnt givin a fuck no more by now.
But when does he FINALLY get caught? When he not only tries to make money off Obama, but had the NERVE to call him a “motherfucker”. Aint that about a bitch?! I think the feds felt the same way, because thats when they finally decided to move in on this man. Fuck all the other shady ass shit he did. Not only did he try to unethically cash in on Obama, he called Obama a “motherfucker”. And now he will walk the public walk of political shame! Thou Shalt Not Call The Anointed One A MotherFucker. Good going.

I live 7 exits away from semi valley. And I always think about rodney king and those cops that got off for whooping his ass. I remember watching the riots start on the news at that liquor store, soon after. I remember watching regenald denny get snatched out that truck, live. Speaking of which… I also remember thinking, “I wouldnt stop if I were you. Dont roll down the window… oooooh shit! they bout to fuck him up.” I still do the brick throw and dance at every given opportunity. Thats just how my sense of humor works. I also do the abu-grade Guantanamo bay point when I can too. As the homie Dave found out when he passed out drunk on his couch:

http://img187.imageshack.us/img187/6868/picture1339mo1.jpg

It came out super fucked up tho, I was hella drunk myself lol.

Anyway, like I was saying. I remember everybody really feeling that white people could do anything and get a way with it. That’s a super defeating feeling.

I used to think real americans were trippin when they were saying that a Black man being president would spell doom. I mean goonie fucking goo goo me if the shit isn’t hasn’t manifested its self right here lol.
When Obama got elected. Black people everywhere were acting like not only was racism over, but they could do what ever they wanted. Some people have gone as far to believe that niggas are actually the ruling class. Which is hilarious lol. But clearly they all knew something I didn’t. Because there are niggas everywhere making money hand over fist off Obama stuff, and not 1 has been sued!! NOT A ONE!
Niggas not being sued for makin money off some eles likeness?!? That neeeever happens! If u make over 5k, usually, youre getting taxed. Hell sometimes just 500!! Somebody will find out, and be at your door, lookin for their money. Ask Dr. Dre and DJ Quik, these niggas are always getting sued for uncleared samples lol.

What really makes this whole thingo so gotdamn funny is that on the Daily Show. Jason Jones actually did an interview with Gov. Blegojevich a few years back. Lets see if you can tell maybe he might have known he was under investigation.

 

My favorite shit in the world. Is the shit you just cant fucking make up. My second favorite… of course, the shit you actually can make up lol. Good lord. Speaking of which. Every time I think Im out of jokes for this guy. I take another toke and I think of something else.

Is it me or is this guy’s hair making a piss poor pathetic attempt to channel the spirit of John F. Kennedy?? And I dont think Im trippin, but his part is also on the wrong side. Maybe he was trying not not totally bite. Who knows, but the similarities are certainly there.

Except his bangs are ferocious lol. It looks like he took John McCains advice about wearing a hat in the sun but took it a step further.  And just went and grew the longest bangs he could. Or maybe he has a big throbbing vein that pops out oon his forehead when he is being full of shit.
He was totally going for the whole Kennedy aura. Mob talk, shaddiness and all. He just has a fucked up ass last name and doesnt have as many friends. Oh and terrible hair. I think thats the worse hair since Donald Trump.

But you gotta give it to the guy. He is a fucking gangster with a big set of balls lol. But he crossed the Anointed one and now he will rot. Thou shall not call Obama a Mother Fucker.  At this rate, Carl Rove might be in trouble pretty soon there! Fox news might be forced to fold! Yea right. We can all dream lol. One more white person go to jail though. I dont know, that might be some change you can really believe in lol.

 

 


If you managed to miss this some how. Or you dont know some how. John McCain was suppose to be on Late Night with David Letterman. One of my favorite shows i ever watch. If i could only take the first 30 min, i would. lol but with Chris Rock being on and this shit. Maybe I should just tape the whole shit regularly lol

But anyway… like I was saying. McCain was suppose to be on Letterman, he canceled because he thought being on Letterman, because he suspeneded his campaign, and was off to washington to help with the Bailout situation. He called Dave and canceled personally. Dave was HOT, and let it be KNOWN! lol

I taped this whole episode on my DVR. its never coming off.

To make the murder complete thought, everybody knows, Keith Oberman is not one to hide his feelings about republicans, or shit he dont feel is right, on either side honestly. I wouldnt say that Dave got Keith Oberman to replace McCain to be spiteful really. Ive been to NYC once. And the one thing I do remember, NBC studios and where Oberman films his shit, in Rockafeller square / center or whatever the fuck, is RIGHT down the street from the Ed Sullivan theatre where Late Show is filmed. You can see it damn near from where Oberman films. But I will say, it did play out nicely in a way that doesnt favor McCain at all lol.

the clips honestly does the whole show very little justice. the monologue was fuckin brutal, but that was really only the beginning lol this muhfucka was fucking pissed. oh, and actually, to make the murder MORE complete. like to really finish it off… this muhfucka McCain, was actually at CBS studios…  IN NEW YORK, where the Late Nite is taped, doing an interview with Katie Couric. Dave got wind of this, and actually went to the live feed of John McCains interview during the show.
Way to be fulla shit and THEN get busted John McCain lol.

anyway, on with the show!

lol this was great.



Today John Edwards admitted he was fucking around on his wife, around 1996 or so. Apparently his wife and his family knew about it, and they had resolved the issue a long time ago. But he has been lying about the shit since 2007. His bad. lol But good ol John is defending his baby daddy status to Rielle Hunter’s baby. He has even volunteered to go on Mauray and put this all to rest.

After his announcement, some how he left his ipod behind, and come to find out John Edwards is a big Rick Ross fan. How bout that? In past interviews Edwards has said that he did identify with the Miami Rapper. When asked how he identified to a fat Black muthafucka who raps about drugs and bitches. Edwards simply answers “I just can.” He goes on to explain in that famous southern drawl. “well you know, he does alot of community events you know. There is just something i hear in his voice that tells me, he’s my kinda guy!”

Whic Rick Ross tracks are Edwards favorites?

“Cross that line”, “For da Low” , “Get Away” ,“This Is The Life” , “This Me” , “Here I am”, and of course “Im Only Human”. Now if I can borrow a line from another lying muthafucka… John McCain lol. “Ill let the Amercian people decide, Good Day.”


George Carlin died today and there are millions of people on the internet typing out entries as to how great he was. He was indeed a great comic. I’ve been watching his act since I was like 10. I didnt get some of the jokes of course, but I was a pretty smart kid and I’ve been watching the news since I can remember. So, I kinda kept up.

But I’d just like to point out one thing.

George Carlin died at 71. John McCain, is currently 71 if I’m not mistaken.

I’m just sayin. Let’s just say, God forbid, that we have to live through 8 years of McCain and whoever is his VP. He will be like 80 by the end of his term. I’m taking the over/under on him not seeing the end of his term.

Am I saying dont vote for McCain, because he’s old? No. I’m not. I’m just sayin eye his VP closely. You might have to deal with him in a manner you dont really plan on.

Still not scared? As much as muthafuckas hate Bush, what if somebody would have killed him over being mad at … shit… lets just say 3 dollar fucking gas. Because 2 gotdamn dollars was WAY too fucking high in the fucking first place. Nobody remembers that shit though. Although that sounds pretty fucking great right now.

Anyway. How do you think even ONE gotdamn year of CHENEY would have gone? I have a word I use for such matters like this. Matters that involve an unfathomable amount of bullshit and everything that would basically be as wack as possible. That word? “UNGOOD”.

Thats right. Ungood. When somebody says something is “UNGOOD” to you, even though its not a word. What do you immediately think of? It must be all fuckin bad. No positives at all.
Things have continuously gotten worse for the American public over the last 7 years and some months. No… We are probably at 8 Years, because the 2000 Bush campaign was a bunch of bullshit. Everybody was saying to themselves for months. Nobody is gonna vote for this muthafucka are they?
So as bad as things have gotten, could they get worse? Well. Clearly they could. Although, Cheney did become president breifly once. Bush went under for a surgery or something. And for like 2 hours Cheney was president. Thats probably when gas started going up again from 2 dollars and some change lol. I’m sure he authorized something in that time.

Alright, I’ve said what I had to say. This picture of Cheney looking at me and waving is creeping me the fuck out, I swear. I’m trying not to look at the screen and shit. This is dumb.

RIP George Carlin.

In an unrelated random note. I miss Ruben…


jalen rose
Bristol, Connecticut – Jalen Rose was fired the other day for what was referred to as “Aggressive and forceful sales tactics of religious materials” at the ESPN Studios. The retired nba star apparently has recently converted to the Nation of Islam, and like most new NOI members, they are enthusiastic about pushing their new found knowledge, wisdom, awakening and so forth. There are several complaints and eye witness reports of Rose knocking on the dressing room doors of the Black news anchors at ESPN, in a Jehovah Witness like fashion and delivering his message of Black empowerment, in the same robot tone as he does on the air. Forcing blinks in between syllables and stale enthusiasm. Rose’s message also comes equipped with a publication put out by the Nation of Islam called the “Final Call”. A publication filled with what Jalen called “Knowledge and essential tools for a Black man working in Connecticut!” ESPN management tried to be tolerant and open minded to Jalens new views.
However, we have super secret sources that says management had enough after they had learned between a heated exchange between Jalen Rose and Stewart Scott. Where apparently Rose beat Scott down with a Final Call news paper and had him cowared in a corner and would not stop beating him until Scott agreed to “stop giving away the Black Man’s verbal encryptions”. We assume Jalen was referring to Scott’s frequent use of well known “slang” in his commentary.
When asked about the incident Stewart confirmed the attack and admitted that he agreed to stop using slang on the air, “Yo, of course I agreed to stop using slang! Jalen is crazy stupid big! The kid has a stupid crazy swing with that final call too, yo! He started hitting me and the first thing I thought to my self was – Hater In The Hooooouse! What was he thinking?! I’m just trying to bridge the divide between Bruhs and the Nascar dads, ya dig? I’m not saying he was wrong for beating a brutha down. I’m just saying he don’t work here no more. So it’s back on like donkey kong with the stupid freshness… BOOYAH!!”
Jalen Rose could not be reached for comment because he hasn’t come into work, work most of the day and then get the bad news.
We will keep up updated as the situation develops.

Hilary is refuses to stop fucking up.

Recently the leader of Iran went to the UN bitching and whining about Hilary saying that she would obliterate Iran if they dared attacked israel. Obliterate?!?! Doesn’t that seem kinda rough? Why didn’t she just say “id cut Tehrans fucking dick off!”… Might as well lol damn. Im starting to think the clintons say whatever the fuck they feel like lol.

What does it say when republicans rather run against this person? Republicans who have clearly been up to no good openly. What kind of sense does it make for the opposition to support one half of the other side if they didn’t fear the side they aren’t supporting. Duh. Its no wonder she has so many defectors lol.

I don’t know, maybe the biggest thing I cant understand is why would somebody as smart as her, use the word “Obliterate” with people who – when they speak english or their version of it – use words like fucking “INFIDEL” and “comrade”. You would think a word like “Obliterate” would be on their short list of words they learn that mean “fuck americans up”

Not only that, but Iran is pretty fucking big. I’m sure Tehran and the like was looking around like hey, we got a lot of space my friend. Obliteration would require alot of fucking work. You mutahfuckas are already fucking up Iraq. But you want to fucking OBLITERATE US?!?!?!?

They call this man crazy. He could have easily taken offense to that (I probably would have, but I’m ignorant as fuck, what do I know? lol) and marched into Iraq with hella troops and started World War 3. But what did this guy do? He went to the UN bitching about what she was talking about. She ain’t even president, and this nigga is calling foul. That should tell people something. He don’t want none. Which is smart, because we really don’t either.

But Obliteration is still the threat of all threats. Hiroshima, got fucking obliterated lol. Are you really prepared to go that gotdamn far over fucking Israel?! Is it THAT serious?

All I’m saying is, you have to back Obliteration up homie lol. Especially against some people that already don’t like you. And they already trying to get at us on the sly, giving niggas guns and training n shit. At least be mad over that first lol. Dont threaten Obliteration over some shit that more than likely will never happen. Gotdamn.

Maybe she was tired when she said that shit too. Like yea, we’d fuck them up, whatever, a bitch is tired n shit. fuck Iran anyway. Tehran doesnt wanna fuck with me. gotdammit, does he know who the fuck I am? I’ll cut his fuckin dick off! Imma need a chocolate something after this interview, gotdamn.

lol

oh yea… ps… A GAS TAX HOLIDAY DOESNT MAKE SENSE IF THESE MUTHAUFCKAS KEEP RAISING THE FUCKING PRICE OF GAS, ASSHOLES!!!!! The shit has already shot up pass the 18 cents you said we where gonna save!!! What kind of Reganomictrics ass math is this!?!?!?

I have alot of shit to accomplish between now and the end of the year, but that shit wont get here fast enough. Actually, it can wait… Hopefully if I play my cards right, I’ll be straight by then no matter who becomes president. Thank God for Porn.


video://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xS3YDBR81uw

“Pluto is not in a zen place…” is what Sylvia said after seeing this video, shit was the guts lmao.

lol I hate bad ass little kids, and if they just happen to get fucked up for being bad, then oh well. lol

So apparently the little boy being chased kicked Pluto in the balls. Which, as far as im concerned, is unacceptable no matter what, in every circumstance. Even if youre right. Nothing justifies a kick in the nuts. (maybe unless pluto grabbed his ass or something lol)

Not that im above kicking a muthafucka in they nuts, My only thing is, Im gonna be prepaired to defend my self or proceed with kicking that persons ass all together.

My message here is… no matter what, even if youre right. If you kick a mutahfucka in they nuts, be prepared to fucking defend your self, or finish whooping ass, which ever. Dont fuckin run. I dont care how old you are. If you run, that means you know you did wrong. AND you did the shit on purpose! Fuck that lol. I personally wouldnt care, probably even if its my own damn child. I might be doing the ass whooping in that instance, but still, unforgivable crime in my eyes lol. I hope they gave that man the day off with pay and kicked the kid and his punk ass parental unit(s) out the fucking park lol


This is what happens when youre percived as being too wack AND lame for your own good.

“Somebody” put a hit on on this mans life. And for what? Because he’s wack? Thats a reason to take another persons life? Because he did Brittney Spears dirty? Because he is perceived as a male gold digger?

I honestly dont understand why people hate this man sooo damn much? What did he really do to deserve so much hate? Im sure its nothing that most people couldnt have avoided if they put a little effort into it. In other words, if you hate K-FizzelFashizzle, then its your fault, not his. Its really easy not to pay attention to tabliot news, I promise you that. Every time you log on to perezhitlon.com or defamer.com or imakemoneybecauseyoucaretoomuchandsodoi.com there is a little red x in one of the corners, of your browser so you can avoid all k-feezy news. Or just turn the gotdamn channel. But whatever… fuck it, you still hate K-Federally.

The other thing about this whole shit I dont understand is… How do people not see that When Brittney got with Kevin, Brittney wasnt stepping down just because she got with a dancer and she was the main talent. Brittney and Kevin have always been the same class of people. Fuck what class exactly that is. But my point is, they really do come from the same background, got a bunch in common, they the same kinda muthafucka. You can tell a number of ways.

1. she had TWO kids with this man.
2. She was all the way ready to support this man. not only support him, but his wack would be entertainment career as well.
3. everytime you saw her with him, they were HELLA happy. she was truely happy untilshe started cheating or whatever the problem was. im sure she didnt all of a sudden just realize he was a wack person or whatever his real problem is.

Fuck it, I could go on and on. But my point is still, they have always been the same person. What I STILL cant figure out is…. BRITTNEY IS REALLY JUST AS WACK AS HE IS AS AN ENTERTAINER! The only thing Brittney has on Kevin is she looks better half naked, even when/if she is a lil pudgy lol. She sing for shit, the level of her so called dancing skill is completely relative. Brittney is as good as her team is. Brittney wouldnt even be who she is if she just tried to come out before all the Disney Channel hype. If she just tried to come out with any one of her singles after the oops i did it again shit, she would currently be an after thought. There would be no great production and videos n shit. None of that.
Clearly these days though, her fucking team sucks all to hell, or she just stopped listening to muthaufckas lol. Im kind of in support of the latter, but in her defense, at some point every one get tired of being told what to do even if they are always wrong, at least they are making their own fuck ups and only they are responsible. I understand that fully.

I dont give a fuck how bad my life is going and how sick I am of muthafuckas telling me what to do though, im not gonna keep embarrassing myself. For instance. I eventually got spell check for my blog lol. Not that I use that shit all the time, but Im trying, fuck yall lol.

I actually almost feel sorry for Brittney sometimes, I couldnt take muthafuckas in my business all the time like that. Even worse is all these companies see her as a check lol. If you attach that woman to anything, youre getting fucking paid. To prove my point. MTV knew good and gotdamn well what they were gonna get when they booked Brittney to open for the VMA’s. Im not gonna fuckin lie, her performing was one of the MAIN reason I wanted to watch that historicly (for the last few years) boring ass show. Even I wanted to see what she was gonna do. And boy did we all get something to talk about lol. Poor girl lol. MTV may have fucked around and ended her damn career lol. But MTV got PAID off all the ratings and advertising doe they got for her opening the show im sure. Alls well that ends well I guess…

Having a hand in running a TV station myself, I cant say I wouldnt have done the same shit lol.