Portfolio Archives - Uhmah Park

In April my best friend and business partner Sylvia, bought me this domain for my birthday in 2001. We had just started our web design company and she had her own domain and personal site: Hookerdust.com. So did all the other cool people in the industry, so of course, Im fresh in, I wanna be cool too!! But I need a domain name. Long story short, I figured my site would be about me as much as possible, so I told Syl, if I ever got my own site I’d get Five27.com. Because thats my birthday, May 27, 1979. Awesome right? I thought so. However, I didnt buy the domain when I came up with the name. I forgot way. I do know I have a bit of a problem doing things for myself. So that could have been it. Im not sure.

But for my 22nd birthday, Sylvia surprises with an email saying Five27.com had been purchased and it was mine! I was happy as fuck lol. Best $20 present Ive ever gotten! Yea, domains used to cost that much back then. Yall dont know anything about that lol. Actually… I think they used to cost more. Them shits could have cost $100 to $50 now that I think about it. Domains used to be pretty expensive. Im not sure about the exact price. But it was a big deal to me no matter how much it cost. I was super happy. Sylvia is a pretty great gift giver.

So now, I have a domain…. and I really dont know what to do with it. lol. There was no such things as bloggers back then. Designers and web professionals mainly just showed off their work to some degree. Well, I had just started in the business and I didnt know shit from shit really lol. All I had was hella drive and motivation. I wanted to be the fuck out of my mamma house for good lol. I hardly any experience. I used to make AngleFire pages for my internet yahoo chat friends, but that was really it. Sylvia basically taught me every thing she knew about web design and photoshop. Since I learn super fast, this wasnt really a hurdle. In no time, I was ready to start learning things on my own.

One day I decided I wanted to learn flash, because I wanted to be able to offer it to my clients. So I needed some place to practice. What better place than my own domain right? So, like I said, I learn super fast. The second flash movie I made, I liked it so much, I started off my site with it. This was my first site. I couldnt believe I actually made that. I had a vision and I just kinda went with it. Like dude in Hustle and Flow lol. It just came out. What I really wanted to do was make the movie full screen. But that was way past me at that point.
The average reader isnt going to notice. But that flash movie DOES NOT have a loader lol! I didnt know how to make one back then lol. But my next few flash movies have them. They are linked through that site different places, click around, that site was awesome lol. I loved it.

Back then, not just any jack ass with a punk ass opinion couldnt make a site with out a web designer and some doe in hand. Or something else of value to barter. These days, you can get a wordpress account, by a theme and bam. You have a website. There were no such things as bloggers or content management system. PHP wasnt as evolved as it is now. So everybody who dropped doe for a domain name and hosting on a their personal site was a web designer. All theses people were artist, so your personal site was an expression of you and what youre about. An artistic expression. Not a blogger. Like it is now lol.

People would name their site, Version 2 and 3 and 8.432b and shit like that. I didnt really wanna follow suit. So I bit BMW and named my sites in series. My first one was the 100 series, then it went from there. I went with series because I change my mind so fucking much. Id be half way done with a site, then change my mind and do something else. Dont ask me why. Thats just who I am. I work on it all the time. Its gotten way better since then. But… it happens still lol. So to prove my point, the 200 series changed a few times. I was SO busy with work when I was trying to get put it up and I was so ridiculous about things being perfect, I forget why none of these sites ever went live, but none of them did.

200 – This is what I started with. Then I felt that wasnt the right look before I was all the way done with the Navigation.

201 – This site is basically done. Why it never went live? I do not remember AT ALL. It looks pretty much done to me. Maybe I thought all the sections needed to be done. I dont know. But I remember working pretty hard on it. Way back when (Im starting to feel like Bill Cosby) I made this site, loud ass music was acceptable when a site loaded lol. And since Im a big Public Enemy fan, that site was kinda PE themed, one could say. I liked this site. I dont know what the fuck I was thinking. I still like it. Its dated, but I still like it lol.

225e – Never finished this shit at all. LOL I dont know how i went from the last site to this, but I did. I dont know.I do know I wanted this movie to switch scenes and backgrounds like 201 but this is as far as I got. lol I dont remember why I never finished this.  But it didnt happen.

A site that did go live was the 300 series. I forgot all about this site until I looked around on the server. This was the last site before bloggers and CMS became more practical for having a personal site. The sound as the site loads is from E-40’s Sideways.

When christmas come ask santa, Do you know E-40?
I bet you that nigga say, Yea thats my homie!

THIS IS MY MUTHAFUCKIN SHIT RIGHT HERE! This song came on when I started in on that site and then I just kept it movin from there. The whole time I was designing that site, this song was playing in my head. It took me fucking forever to finish. Im a workaholic. I go where the money goes. I dont make money off this site. So it was never a real priority. But eventually I got it up.

I never wanted this site to be just a blogger. Ive had a blogger on this site though since the 100 series. It looked different from the front of the site. I wanted the site to be multifacted like me. Im interested in a wide range of things. And I wanted my site to be a bunch of mini sites with different looks and types, so I could get my practice on. For my first blogger I used a CMS called Grey Matter. If you dont know what that is, dont worry about it. Its not around anymore. Some guy made it for free and things have REALLY evolved since then. As far as I know, that is where the blogging craze started. It wasnt called a blogger back then. Comments for that thing were fucking complicated to say the least. From there I converted to Moveabletype. Which I eventually grew to fucking hate. Because I hate CGI. Then came wordpress. I converted to wordpress and used it for years. After years of using wordpress, I converted to Expression Engine. For reasons I wont go into. But here I am back at wordpress and happy. WordPress has come VERY far lol. Every time I converted to a new site, I had different layouts and series, etc. But I dont feel like looking for them to display them. Ill look for them one day.

But on to this new layout. I just recently converted this site back to wordpress. And in April, I will had this site for 10 years. So I wanted to do something kind of special. I was kind of content with having a plain site. Then a month or so back, I realized that Ive had this site for going on 10 years. And I started to reminice on how I got the site, the first layouts and what not. So I wanted to do something like I used to do when I was just practicing. I havent done anything “artistic” in a very long time. So I decided to go for it, kinda.

This picture is from a bootleg panoramic picture I took one day (2008?) at Venice beach. I turned to my left and started clicking. When I was looking through my pictures for something to use for this site, I came across the pictures I’d taken and remembered that I never pieced them together. So, I pieced them together and I was really diggin it. It looks just like I remembered that day. Peep:

Its big as fuck. The original file is almost 8mb. Free for you to download if you want. I dont think I cropped any  of the original pictures, I just lined them all up. I want to get it printed. And put it above my couch, TV or bed. I dont know yet lol.

Originally I wanted to use the whole thing but its just too wide. So I tried to fit as much as possible that would fit in my HD monitor lol. This background is 1920 by 1080…. not the one im using on the site, I cropped it (height wise) to make it as small as possible file wise. The thumbnail at the top, is. When I started piecing this together, I didnt think I was going to use it for this site. I thought I was going to use it as a background for my HD monitor at the office and for my PS3. I wanted to see this big on my TV. Another thing I didnt get to do was make a bottom half like I wanted to. When I figured out I would only really be able to fit a piece of this picture with in 1920 pixels, I figured Id use the most interesting part of the picture, and then make a bottom half of something else. But as I went on, I thought it would be perfect for this site. Depending on the size of your monitor or browser window will dictate how much of it you see. It takes a while to load. But fuck it. I like it. When I was taking this picture, the old guy to the right cheesed and posed for the picture. He’s great lol.

Although the background picture isnt all the way finished to me. This is probably one of the my favorite things I’ve ever made. Usually I hate what I do lol. Im actually happy with the way this site turned out this time. I think its my best one. Which to me is fitting, because the current model of the 7 series BMWs are my favorite cars on the road right now. The 750Li is what I want and is what I will have eventually one day. The sooner the better. I cant wait.

And here is the end of this entry, because Im tired. lol



This is old footage I took outside of the Prime Time Uncensored Studios during a taping of “The Platform”. The homies Gajah and Olmeca (Acid Reign) were the guest during this shows taping and during one of the breaks we were outside in the back smokin and a freestyle session broke out. A real freestyle session, straight off the top. This shit was great. Gajah and Olmeca both killed it. I dont know who that other dude was, who jumped in the cipher and got his lip fumble on. I said I’d take him out. I didnt say how much lol.

Shout out to the homie Theo who I totally forgot was there lol.

I’ve actually forgotten alot about Prime Time Uncensored some how. Im going to tell that story one day. I have soooooo much footage. I basically filmed it all. I did damn near every thing up there lol. That project fucked my whole life up, almost completely and all the way. But fuck it. I learned alot. A ton in fact. Im going to start posting highlights of some of the shows. Despite having my life fucked up, I had some pretty good times doing this.

The Platform in particular. DJ Hectik would put together the bombest fucking mixes. Thats what was going on when we filmed this.


Juaves Revenge is the name of my fantasy football team. And one day, I was going through some things. I was kinda blowed. I came across this elephant skull, then I had the idea to do this shit here.

And since apparently Im the worst person there ever was on the face of the fucking planet ever in some peoples eyes out this muthafucka, Ive had a bit more time on my hands. And Ive been working on this slowly and finished it sunday while I watched football and, smoked a blunt (or two).

Anyway, last year… I made my triumphant return to fantasy football. Ive been running a league on yahoo for a few years, I won a couple of championships in a couple of legues, but two years ago I retired because I really didnt have time and I wasnt all that interested for whatever reason.
But last year, I made my triumphant return like I said before and like every year Ive played fantasy football My team was named the Uhmah Park Pachyderms. Yes, after this lovely place you see before you here. lol
Last year, my team was stacked, I even had LT n shit. Yes, as in last year when he went nuts! Everything was going great, till about week three. Then some how, out of no where, the fucking Yahoo account that Ive had for years gets hacked. MIND you this is the second yahoo account of mine Ive gotten hacked. You wont believe how mad a nigga was. I cant help it, Im hella competitive. Sigh, so I couldnt log in and change up my line up, make trades or anything. I tell my friends that im in the league with (I was just in one last year) that my shit got hacked or whatever. These niggas is like damn, sorry to hear that yap yap yap. Some weeks pass by and then one of the homies is telling me how niggas are practically jumping over my dead corpse in circles. Like hey nigga we are whooping your ass. These niggas even went as far as to talk shit that I wouldnt even see. Knowing a nigga was gonna copy and paste the shit to a nigga. So they did it in essence, just to fuck with me. Niggas aint shit, I swear.

So now this year… Im out for revenge. Which is why there is a bloody elephant skull plastered on this bitch. My Pach was ruthlessly slaughtered by my janky ass friends with out mercy. And then they laughed about it while I was all super defenseless n shit. Bastards!
For those who arent knowing “Retaliation, Revenge and Get Back” was the name of Daz first solo album. That shit was bangin. Ive always loved the title. Seem perfect for the occasion if I do say so myself. Of course youll notice I put the words in the order I felt like.

All them niggas got this shit here in they mail box the other day lol.


The KillaCal.

Nominated for a Blackbloggeraward. Way to go!

Although the nigga didnt win for what he was nominated for. But high for for being nominated anyway. Life time achivement award I think it was. Pretty dope… I remember when he started blogging. Before blogger got bought by google. And I used to argue with this girl he used to talk to in his comments, because we had beef.

Anyway. For those dont know, Calvin is one of my first internet friends. Ive been knowing this man for like 10 years. Since his freshman year at Morehouse I think. So from time to time he tends to be the benificerary of a blowed idea I might have.
I forget exactly what I was going for at first, but this was actually it when I finished. I fucked up on the first round.

But… I do have a small confession. First of all, I didnt take that picture of the Golden Gate Bridge. Second, Calvin and I have a little back and forth about our birthdays, which is the better day and what not. See, he is a day older than me. He was born on May 26th.. me on the 27th. Of course he is standing solid on the perceived notion that his day is the better day. And Im sure I wont be able to get him to see things correctly (my way). And since Im competitive as fuck, and I love 1up’ing a nigga. I am the Champ of 1up’ing a nigga. Spite, revenge, pre-venge, retaliation, and get back are some of my favorite things. lol I really enjoy the shit, it puts a smile on my face, I get excited and happy when I come up with some bullshit. its great.
So, I tell this man calvin, that Im thinking I should redo his whole shit one day, and I asked the nigga what he was thinking he wanted (mind you the last version was pretty fresh, but became dated… to me). And he was telling me about how he wanted a bridge and some water going under it (since thats what his shits called). At first, like I said, I had some shit I was going to go with, then I remembered. There is a pretty famous standing bridge that was opened on a day that represents glory and greatness. May 27th, 1937. Because clearly, May 26th, 1937 just didnt crack. lol To prove my point a little bit further… five26.com ?? dont think so. doesnt have the same zing to it. They were smart to wait a day.

HA! I just cant help my self sometimes lol. I just had to make my mark … where ever possible the best way possible lol.