Blowed Thoughts Archives - Uhmah Park

Dear Summer,

You know Im going to miss you.

I love the summer time and everything that comes with it.

I love everything right now. Currently im driving down the 134 freeway, east bound, rolling through Glendale. The moon is full and hovering over the city scape. The moon isnt all that “high” in the air, its about 8pm. The moon is a dull yellow, big and absolutely gorgeous. The moon is one of my favorite things to look at, its something like hypnotic. When i look at the moon, im almost at a lost for words. My thoughts are overwhelmed with the fact that there are countless other people looking at the moon, right now, just as i am. People i will never know and never meet. This is the closest physical connection.
I think about all of the people that ive personally known and forgotten; miss or gladd to see gone; hated and or loved. I wonder if theyre looking at the moon at the same time im looking at the moon? Then i take in the fact that its only physical connection ill ever have with these people unless our paths happen to cross again.

I am happy right now

Although ive worked an 8 hour shift that didnt feature a lunch. Mainly because i wasnt all the way starving because i have been snacking on various snacks provided by a company im freelancing for these days. Ive eaten all kinds of bananas, granola bars, oatmeal, mixed nuts, somebody brought pie; by the time i looked up, it was 3:30pm. Who goes to lunch at 3:30? Lol. I could have, bit i was in the middle of something.
I absolutely love what i do for a living. Im a web developer. I build websites and do web stuff all day long. And i get paid for it; which is awesome because, i can assure you, if i wasnt at somebodies office doing this from 9 to t, id be at home doing the same damn thing in my draws, for free or in my spare time.

Its a nice warm…. fall night. Summer has passed me by. But this is Los Angles, the valley. Its warm as fuck lol. So im doing 75 on the freeway (now the 210, in upland) with the windows down, Jay-Z on the ipod. Back in Glendale, (because now im in upland) when i got a good look at the moon over the city, Jay-Zs Dear Summer came on and put a bow on the deep down good feelings im going through right now.

Im in a good mood!

One of my favorite MC’s. One of my favorite songs. The song and the sample.

I have on one of my favorite colors (red) and i still smell good from earlier (sean paul gaultier 2 – i spelled that wrong lol.). Im typing this whole entry on my phone, which i love and waited for for-fucking-ever (droid 4 — fucking verizon). I love LTE. I love where technology is these days to where I can do stuff like this while on the freeway. Im still blowed from smoking earlier; although typing this whole thing out with 2 thumbs instead of 10 fingers is proving to take longer than id like lol.

Im super happy to just be happy right now. What do i mean by that? Well, right now i have a happyness that i can feel. There are things going on in my life that would be fucking my day up if this was 2010. There would be no way i could feel as good as i do right now, back then. Even though ive had to sit through some super punk ass shit for the last week or so. More than once, more than twice. If this were 2010, id be way too pissed off and mad as hell until i addressed these punk ass people and this punk ass shit. And even after that. But im not mad. Well i am, but im not. Its not taking over my day or my thoughts. Thats what im used to. Im used to being hella mad right now. Im used to knowing all these good things were going on in my life but not being able to feel them because id be so damn mad. Or because everything wasnt exactly perfect in my life. Id only feel something like this happy if i were having a lot of fun with a lot of people, totally distracted from every last thing in my life. But that feels totally different than this. Im not happy like im having a good time.
Im just happy and appreciative. You may be reading this and thinking that im putting a lot on my feelings right now. But this feeling is new to me.
Ive seen people say they felt like this. People who cared about me wish, hope and pray that i could feel like this. And me wondering what the hell it felt like to feel like this.
Ive been jealous of people who could sit around and be happy and feel it no matter what was going on in their life for so so so long. And ive worked plenty hard to be able to have these feelings. I battled a lot of personal demons, faced a lot of pain and had to make some really hard changes.

But the way im feeling right now has made all that hard work worth it. Im not happy where im doing cartwheels down the street and pissing everybody off because im too gotdamn happy. I just am. I have a happyness that nobody else is giving me except me. My happyness has nothing to do with not a single soul on this planet.

For the past 6 or so months, ive been able to feel this way. This is the first time in my entire 33 years ive been able to feel this way. In these past few months; for the first time ever. Despite all of the solid gold bullshit ive been dealing with over these same past months; im happier than ive ever been ever. Not at this moment, just in general. The moment where the moon was right, the night was right and sound track was right, just reminded me of how im feeling overall. Its awesome. I love it.

Thats what i mean by, im super happy to be happy.

I thought id never be able to feel this way.

Im not walking around grinning from ear to ear or anything like that. But if you asked me “OJ are you happy?” My answer is yes. Before it wouldve been: eehh, everything is alright i guess, i wouldve never said yes and left it there.

ūüôā


For about the last 3 months Ive been swamped with work. I havent had time to workout, work on my skill set, get out of the house really or anything. Just work. I have a lot of projects on my plate. Ive worked 10+ hours damn near daily over the past few months. Sometimes going 7+ days with out taking a day off.
Ive been working an onsite gig downtown and now in woodland hills. I have been working 8 and 9 hour shifts, then coming home and working 2+ hours on my freelance project; almost daily.

During the last week of busting my ass, i started to kind of see the light at the end of the tunnel. Its not really all that close; maybe what I see is new energy and excitement about all the things I have on my plate. I have 3 personal projects that I will finally get a chance to work on once I have all these work projects off my plate.

Today is labor day and I really wanted to do one of 2 things today. Finish up one of my freelance project; wouldve taken about 4 hours. Then/or work on one of my personal projects that ive been anxious to complete, which is the new look and build for this here site. I cant wait to get it up. I seriously cant wait. I figured i could get a lot of the grunt work and heavy lifting all done today.

But ive been working a lot. A whole lot. I love what i do but lately Ive been feeling a certain heaviness when its time to get to work. I know what i have to do and how to get it done and where to start, but ive been having the hardest time getting started. Although I want to get started. There has been some kind of disconnect between me wanting to and me actually getting started or keeping a good groove going. Its like I dont want to; and i feel like its for no good reason. Because its what i WANT to do.

I need a break. Today i forced myself to take a break. I refused to sit at my computer today for any reason. Ive been kinda bored; pacing around, thinking about what id be doing if i was working on my site. Thinking about what i have left to do and things i might want to do. Ive been watching tv, watched a movie on netflix. Today i forced my self not to do anything. Not to look for an apt, not put a bunch of energy into cleaning up. Nothing. Just laid around. I hardly ever do this. I feel like i wasted the day away, but i know my body and brain needed it.

But i feel like im being held back. I want to catch up on my work. Im excited to be caught up. I cant wait to get these next few projects launched.

I wish i didnt need breaks. I wish i didnt get burned out. I wish i could would a set number of hours for a set number of days and not get tired of doing that. Not wear down. Eyes not start burning from reading code. Not mentally exhausted from solving problems. Switching windows and keeping track of what im doing, multitasking, etc.
I wish i could just keep it going with the same energy as the first few days.

I feel like this much needed break and balance is holding me back some how. Although i know it will make me more productive in the long run. I guess my wishes for no exhaustion are stronger than they should be.
I hope i come back refreshed off this break.
I cant wait to be done with the projects. So i can get to my dream project that im super excited about. I cant wait!


One day, I was sitting on the toilet and I had an idea, like a lot of people do when they are posted on the toilet. I figure that since I’m not afraid to take a shit in a public restroom and I know some many people who absolutely refuse to under any and every circumstance. I figured maybe I’d give some friendly advice. Look at how awesome and philanthropic I am. Who else would offer such needed yet over looked advice?

So here is my first tip on taking a shit in public or some body’s home whom you may or may not know.

Heres something to be mindful of, when looking for a stall to take a shit in, try to use a stall to your furthest right or left so that you only have one stall to your side rather than having a stall on each side.
Why?

Well, its already awkward taking a shit publicly some where. Whats more awkward than having two strangers on your side when youre trying to take a shit? Its already bad enough having one person to your side. Why run the chance of two people on your sides? You can only identify these people by which ever shoes they happen to have on. Thats not good enough.
You also cant guarantee a persons public bathroom etiquette. Is there public bathroom etiquette? Of course there is. But some people just have to make some kinda noise when theyre shitting; from either straining or loud ass booty noises, which is what you really dont want to happen. That shit sucks. Bad. However it is funny as fuck to some degree. Ill give advice on now to handle that situation another time.

Realistically every time you go to take that public shit, you run the risk of having to be next to some asshole with shitty shitting habits. But if you only have one stall next to you, then your chances are automatically cut in half. Ill take those odds all day if I need to take a shit in public some where.

This could all ¬†be personal preference though. I dont like to stand next to other dudes while I’m taking a piss if I can help it lol. As far as bathroom etiquette goes, theres an unwritten rule that if you dont have to stand next to me while taking a piss, dont. lol. Use the next stall over sir, I promise I wont take it personal. Thank you, sir.

So there is your first piece of very valuable shitty advice when shitting in public. Put it to good use. Youll thank me one day!


If you dont know what Death By Snu-Snu is about. Its ok, but if I were you, I’d hate myself to some degree lol. Anyway, last night I saw somebody on my twitter timeline talking about this guy that died from having sex with a big chick. She busted a nut, and passed out right on top of this man. Well last night when I saw this I was pretty damn high; and seeing that got me to thinking about a few things:

A mf died.. he let a fat chick ride him. She came, collapsed on him. This mf suffocates. Can i ask how big was this wmn was?

I wonder did he get to nut before or as she collapsed on him? Clearly he was a small man and into being crushed.

So as she was crushing him, did he nut? Then realize he was bein suffocated? Or was his gettin it in immediately halted as he fought

every man has had their dick get them into all kinds of bullshit. But as he was fighting for his life and realized it was the end.. shit..

Out of all the ways to die over some pussy, that has got to be in the top 5 of the most bullshit ass way to die over some pussy lmao

He was probably under her thinking that he always wanted to die having sex…. but not like this. Lmao

She had to be A LOT bigger than him tho. Gotdamn! As a man, not being able to push a woman off u? She had to be huge.

How did she feel when she woke up and found her lover dead from her being passed out on top of him for way too long. Gross lol

I wonder how long she was on top of this man? I wonder how long it took for him 2 die. how long did it take for him 2 realize it was the end

I wonder if she did something about her weight after that? Thats some shit to have on ur mind. I ate my way into killing a mf i was fuckin

I wonder how she feels every time she wakes up on her stomach? Lol.. mortified. Oh no? I have i killed again?

 

The last one cracked me the fuck up. I laughed at that shit like I didnt think of it.

 

Reference: here is the full episode lol. shit was hilarious


So Dunkin Donuts has a new egg white flat bread sandwich thats only 300 calories.

When I was sitting there watching this commercial, I thought to myself… What? Why would I want an egg white sandwich from a donut place? Oh… it says for all those people who wanted to eat healthy in the new year. Really? So you mean to tell me, that some person is about to call themselves healthy by strolling into their local dunkin donuts and just by this and maybe some coffee and its going to end there? OF COURSE NOT! They are also gonna take down a donut too.

This is a fuckin trap. Word to Admiral Ackbar… This is a fat person trap lol. You might as well just buy two donuts lol. A damn snickers is just under 300 calories. And all their donuts are at least 300 calories lol. Where are you winning in this situation? Im confused.

This is kinda like selling diet crack. Same high, just not as addictive. You can tell your family youre making steps in the right direction… but youre still doing the same shit lol.


Fo' Life

Recently, I got my bottom two wisdom teeth removed. So I had to take over a week long hiatus from smoking. Not a problem. Vicodin was a let down. All it did was take away the intense pain and make me HELLA NAUSEOUS! So I spent something like 12 days sober as hell. I was bored as hell. The only real part that sucked about it, is that I was really bored. A lot. I had nothing to do, other than work. I couldnt work out. I had to take that vicodin for like 5 days, so I couldnt drive that whole time.

So since I’m a thinker. I did alot of sober thinking. I wasnt feening to smoke like I’m sure some of my friends reading this think. Of course I wanted to. But I wanted my shit to heal way more than I wanted to smoke basically. So I really wasnt trippin. But I asked myself. Why do I smoke like I do?

What is marijuana doing for me?
Well, I have trouble sleeping. I got HORRIBLE sleep over this sober stint. Ive had trouble sleeping my whole life. At night, its quiet and I lay there and think about any and everything. Its torture. Especially since I love to sleep. I cant sleep when I want to at all. I have to be damn near dog tired to go to sleep. I have a lot of energy naturally, so if I didnt have a long hard day (of if i havent had alot of sex that day lol), Im not going to sleep once I jump in my bed. Im laying there and shifting and thinking. And then some more. Ive tried everything. Nothing works. Sleeping pills scare me to death. I almost died once, it feels VERY similar lol. So thats one of the major roles Marijuana plays in my life.

Another big part I realized Marijuana plays in my life, is the part where I absolutely need to relax. Every human being needs to relax. I just happen to be one of the people who have an extremely hard time doing so. I know a lot of people might think this is total bullshit. But you can ask some of my friends that know me better than others.
When I say relax, I understand that relaxing can mean alot of different things. Some people are relaxed by being in front of a crowd of people. Im talking about the stages of activity a person can be engaged in. There is relaxing, something to do, things you enjoy doing, working and bored. Some people say when they are relaxing by doing something they enjoy, that could mean alot of things. I enjoy what I do for a living, but that certainly isnt relaxing. Some people read a book, watch tv, sew, which or whatever, all kinds of things. To me, thats just something to do. Its not relaxing at all and I may or may not be enjoying myself. Im definitely not resting and taking a break. Im just doing something.
I guess what I mean by relaxing is: being OK and or content with not doing anything.  Or maybe just being ok with what you have going on at the time, to the point were youre not bored or looking for something more.
This is a feeling I have rarely¬†experienced¬†sober. Off the top of my head, I can only think of one time in my life where I was totally happy with something. Other than that, what ever I have in front of me, is usually cool for now. But Im going to need something more later. Or either Im still working for something more in the future. While I feel like I¬†appreciate¬†everything Ive worked very hard for and the things I have and have been blessed with. There is still a very powerful “want” there. No matter what it is. Which could be almost anything. From people, things, me… doesnt matter. It makes me look ungrateful to a lot of people, but I dont think they can see what I see or feel what I feel. Hell, I can barely¬†describe¬†it.

Continue reading…


Have you ever been minding your own business, in your car, listening to your favorite hiphop song kind of loud. Then all of a sudden you a police siren out of no where and panic like a muthafucka? Like “where? what? I hear em, but I dont see em!? Hold on. Im trippin? Im trippin…”

I cant name the number of songs that have some kind of sirens in them. But every once a while I get caught slippin. Its wack.

But I figure, most of hiphops audience are individuals with some kind of urban or ethnic background. Also individudals who may have been influenced by the culture or what have you. Who play their music loud in their car. Who may or may not be rolling dirty. Or High as fuck. Or drunker than they are suppose to be. This same audience has some sort of negative attitude towards the police in the first place. The last thing you wanna hear is sirens for any reason. If you get caught slippin bad enough, you might fuck around and drop your blunt or have what feels like a small heart attack.

Im sure Im not the only person who feels this way. So I cant help but feel that rap producers put sirens in their beats just to fuck with hiphop fans around the world. Which makes them assholes. Its not that its not funny. Its just not funny till like 20 minutes later. After your nerves have all the way calmed lol.


I dont know how long Ive had this box of Q-tips. But I know its been years. These are all the Q-tips left which means the box is not worth keeping. On to the next box. Ill mark this date, and see how long how it takes me to get through the next box. Of course I have to get through these first.


My cousin King Juave got me this pipe for my Birthday. It is a pipe only fit for a Sultan. But he gave it to me instead. I have a whole crazy story about how this pipe was created and got to me. But you all are lame and wouldnt undertand. lol There is alot of back story to the Hyperbole me and JD go through lol. Im not explaining lol.

But this pipe right here gets me waaaaay too blowed. I only pull it out for special occastions. It has the hugest bowl. You can fit damn near a whole 8th in there. Its awesome!


What if people were blessed with wings?

How far would be too far to fly to a destination? People always say, that's too far to walk. What would be too far to fly?

If you did decide to fly, would it be something like running? Or could we fly at a stroll like pace? A pace where we wouldn't work up a sweat at all.

If people had wings and could fly, would it be feasible, as a safety precaution, to wear parachutes when you leave the house? You know. Just in case you get knocked out of the air some how. You know?

If people could fly. It would be kind of fucked up to all the other animals of the world. We have thumbs. Sarah Palin wouldn't need helicopters to shoot moose. We could fly away from danger, in the form of some kind of murderous animal on the ground. There isnt a bird in the sky that is a threat. So theres nothing to worry about there. Just imagine if you could fly away from a big ass lion thats trying to chase you down. I could see me coming back with a big ass rock to drop on that muthafuckas head lol. Fuck that. Now YOURE dinner! Bastard!