June 2010 - Uhmah Park

This report, publish by one of the most respected news organizations in the world, is saying that giving head and swallowing a couple of times a week. Forty Percent! At 40% thats a chance no woman can afford not to take! I can understand if you dont have a man. But as a married woman, you have an obligation to not catch Brest Cancer for the sake of your marriage. If you have a boyfriend, even if you dont plan on marrying this dude. As a couple, taking preventative measures to save your LIFE from being taken by this AWFUL disease is being smart about your health. It might even bring yall closer together as a couple. AND! If youre man doesnt wanna help you prevent breast cancer through these measures, then thats really the first sign of him being gay. Which means youre still winning. Because no woman wants to be with a gay man, this dude doesnt give a fuck if you get breast cancer or not, and then duh… he’s gay! So you not being with that dude and then being with a dude who will help you decrease your chances of getting breast cancer is a triple win for you as a woman.

In conclusion, sucking dick is not only healthy choice for woman scientifically, but it will also by default help your relationship continue to be strong. If you dont give a fuck about your relationship, at least do it for your health! Ever notice porn stars never hardly ever turn up with breast cancer?! The truth is right there in front of you! ….. staring you in the face…. waiting for you to put it in your mouth lol.


I wanted for the longest time to see this movie. I wanted to have some kind of viewing party or group outting to see this movie. I knew it would be a great movie to watch with a group of friends. I even went and bought this movie in Blu-Ray. For whatever reason, watching this movie with somebody else just wasnt in the cards. Lucky me. I would have fucking embarrassed myself watching this shit with somebody else. I was laughing WAY TOO FUCKING HARD!!!

This movie had way more plot than I was expecting. Way more jokes than I expected. And alot more titties than I was expecting. This shit was better than Snakes on a Plane. And if you dont know how much I love Snakes on a Plane… then. I love that damn movie. It was great. BUT THIS SHIT HERE?!?!?! NIGGA THIS SHIT HERE?! Puts alot of movies to shame. This shit is great. If you havent seen it. Just stop bullshiting and do your self the ultimate favor, smoke something if you smoke, or maybe drink something, sit back and enjoy! Shits AWESOME!

One day I’m gonna tell some lucky girl my favorite line from the movie. “You can hit the streets or the sheets, it don’t make me no nevermind. That’s your bag, baby. You can go or you can come, can you dig it?”

As a woman, you already know what you wanna do, so if you cant get with that. You can get the fuck on. What did the girl in the movie do? She used her damn brain and got with it. Might as well lol


This has been my favorite song since it hit the net. These niggas MURDERED this shit. If i was Julez and the rest of these niggas I’d be fucking offended lol. This shit is ALOT better than the effort they came with. And its their song!

Ive only heard the original song once. I couldnt take it. That shit was fucking retarded. If you are in the market for a Bentley, there is no way youre also considering a Benz or a Beamer. Maybe a Maybach or a Rolls. Shit makes no sense. Niggas just rhyming words. Niggas is dumb.

Anyway… Crooked I is quickly becoming one of my favorite rappers. Joe Budden has been one of my favorite rappers since Pump It Up. And although I can tell Crooked I heard everybody eleses verses first then dropped his verse, I feel like Joey and Crooked-I verses are basically tied. I’m just glad the song started and ended with them niggas. If I can help it, I’d like to hear about other niggas dicks as little as possible. But since Crooked-I verse is so live, I have to sit through that shit every gotdamn time. lol Ugh nigga.

I like remixed tracks with different MC’s on em. I always like to judge who had the illest verse.


This Hornitos commercial is the best 16 second commercial ever. It gives a very interesting awkward story in less than 16 seconds.

So first this guy comes in feeling super proud of his self for smashing some super hot Couger the night before. Then like the cool guy he is, he hands the bottle of fine tequila but he is trying to get it crackin, AGAIN! And he is about to do this all in front of this man.
Which would be cool normally, clearly. Except for his parents are in town and he cant be out there like that. Except for his Moms already beat him to it. With his home boy!

This is one of the best commercials I’ve ever seen. I’m SURE there was absolutely no understanding after all the dots were connected. Im just wondering if ol boy still got hit by the bottle lol. Chances are he did. What say you? Would you have clocked this mf with that Hornitos bottle? lol


During my senior year in high school, I used to drive a ’88 Ford Ranger that my dad gave me. I used to drive this truck around Fontana, California like a complete MAD MAN! Anybody that would ride with me would find themselves saying “damn shit for fuck over and over again” as the homie Prophet put it. So it gained the name of the “Damn Shit Fuck Truck”.

One day I went over the homie Wendels house with the homie Chris, aka Waxxon. Dont know why. We were there, we left. Next stop RJ’s House. At the end of Dells street there was a hard right turn. Normally there would be houses at this turn. But instead it was an empty field, with rocks and sticks and trash and more rocks, dirt, dust random sticks and more rocks and dirt after that. A lot of Fontana used look this way. But at the end of the field was the street RJ lived on.
So as we were driving off. I noticed that the street took a little dip, and the opposite side of the street there was that dirt field but it had a path way that lead up a slop…. that you could jump. Say like, if you were on a bike. And you were going super fast. You would get some air. But it was at least a 7 foot slop to the top. You really cant see the top if youre at the very bottom. And at the bottom started this ramp. Big enough for a car…. and/or a truck. So I drive past it and I say to Waxxon,
“It would be dope if we jumped that shit in this truck… and just rolled over that way to RJ house through that field”
He was like “YEA!”
OJ: fuck it then. lets do it…
Waxxon: HELL YEA!!!

So we circle back around and line up the truck. I noticed across the street from the empty field, was some white guy watering his lawn. Noticing us lining up this ramp  But I didnt give a fuck about what he was going through. We looked at each other on some “nigga are you sure” shit. YUP!!!! I slapped that bitch in 1st gear and took off! This nigga Waxxon started fuckin screaming. Not a super high pitched scream but it was high pitched. So of course, I started fuckin screaming. On some Geronimo shit. Got it to second right before I hit that ramp and got up a little more speed. Then… LAUNCH!!

I dont know how fast we hit this ramp. But what I do know is that when we started going up, screamin like a muthafucka, We KEPT going up!! Out of the the front wind shield I saw the top of roofs disappear, then the telephone wires disappeared. Then all I saw was blue sky. And that was IT! Holy SHIT! Time kinda just stopped at that moment. I was stuck in a loop of saying “SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT” over and over inside my head. It felt like we left the ground. But there is really no way for me to be sure. But as far as I’m concerned, we got more air than the picture above this text!

Then after, what seemed like forever, we landed. HARD AS FUCK!!! WHAMMM!!!!!! A big ass cloud of dust and dirt went into the air. I went from seeing sky to seeing what seemed like Dust Fog. That hard ass landing killed our screaming. We landed so fucking hard. Im not sure if we bounced. But I can tell you it wasnt cool like TV makes it look like. That shit is some shit to go through. It doesnt hurt exactly, but its a little bit like getting in a car accident lol. Which, as you know, feels good in no way shape or form. lol

So we land. We turn and look at each other. I start to laugh. He is already in full silent laugh mode with tears coming out of his eyes. Which made me laugh even harder than I was. In the middle of my laughter fit. It occurs to me that we should probably clear the scene. After the landing, I let go of the clutch and everything, so I started the truck back up and smashed out! Kicked up all kinds of dirt and dust and bullshit. Rumbling and bumbling through this rocky, trashed, bullshit filled field. Rolling over all kinds of rocks. Feeling like I was in a Ford Truck commercial. We were bouncing all around the inside of the damn truck rolling over rocks n shit. Then out of no where… This old ass couch appears. And some how, I bucked this couch out our path. Shit went FLYING! Waxxon started screaming AGAIN! Laughing super out of control. Some how this big ass, old ass couch didnt leave a scratch on the car. So we get to the other side of this field and roll unto the street with the biggest trail of dust behind us. By this time Waxxon cant fucking breathe at all. We roll over to RJ house to tell him what happen. Waxxon still couldnt fuckin breathe. RJ was in disbelief.

That shit was way too fun. I now understand the potential hazards that I didnt really try to foresee. Like I could have possibly shattered my axle. Or some other shit. We rolled back around there the next day to do that shit again. Like a couple of jack asses lol. But that same white guy from earlier put a big ass log at the bottom of the jump so we couldnt hit that shit again. And once again, he was out side watering his lawn. We saw the log, we looked over at him. He looks at us shaking his head. Gave us a look like …. wild ass jungle monkey ass niggers, fucking shit up.

Me and this nigga Waxxon found that shit way too hilarious. I parked the car and we LAUGHED OUR ASSES OFF for like a good 10 minutes. Pointing and laughing at the log, this white dude and the whole situation. Im sure that white guy didnt put that log there to get mocked in furious laughter by two Black kids. But he did. Im not sure what kind of super modation feeling came with that. But he wasnt amused lol. We were!

I realize this is a chevy commercial. And I was in a Ford. But I still wanted to be like these mfs on the commercials lol. And sure thought that was about to be me! As far as Im concerned, I was!! Shit was great lol

This is one of those stories that are only super funny to the people who it happen to. But since I dont fuck with Waxxon no more at all. It goes here for me to laugh at lol.


1 year ago two things happen that were mind blowing. Micheal Jackson died, for 1. Which isnt really mind blowing. But the world was shocked. As a consequence of this man dying. The internet was officially over capacity. Twitter was fail whaling it up for over an hour. Facebook was timing out, it was digital pandemonium. As an “Internet Professional” I’ve never seen the internet shut down for any reason. It wasnt even this bad during and after 9-11. Im sure 9-11 would have done the same thing to the internet if more people were on the net back then.

But I think its pretty damn monumental that the death of one man, an entertainer could stop the world spinning for one whole fucking week. The Internet shut down for an hour or two and then every news outlet found a way to talk about Micheal Jackson passing. His passing even made sports center, for more than 1 day. It was all on Fox, MSNBC, CNN, Local News… any where in the country. It got to the point where I didnt even care anymore, I didnt want to know anything else about his death. I just wanted to know how I could possibly go to the funeral. Which I did actually go…. TO. I just didnt get in lol.

I do understand and greatly appreciate the fact that this is the same man who made …… “Thriller”. (do your self a favor and take a second to soak in the greatness of Thriller. The #1 Video of all time)  The man that turned the course of MTV, Pop music, culture, and the way your favorite entertainer puts on a concert. But still. I am still in disbelief how an entertainers death could stop the world from moving for a little while. Not that everything didnt stop moving when he was alive and in your general area lol. But still. Hell, even when he was alive. Seeing people lose their MINDS when he was around has always been ‘Wow’ to me.

With all that said. Clearly Im a big fan. No matter how much shit I talk, or graphics I make ( see above, or this post, if you missed the joke ), Im still a huge fan of Michael Jackson. Like I said, I was at the funeral. Not really to “pay my respects” to him really. But to see everybody else going out of their way to do so. I have video and pictures. I need to publish them shits. But the whole experience of being around very passionate people who were there to celebrate Michael Jacksons life, instead of all the shit he went through in his personal life was refreshing.

Remember The Time and Thriller are my two favorite Michael Jackson videos. I remember the world premiere of “Remember The Time”. It was the biggest fucking deal lol. I got all happy when I saw Magic Johnson in this video…. and equally as disappointed and half way embarrassed at this awful display of his acting skills. LMAO good GOD! That shit was AWFUL lol. I could barely stand to watch.

I do like this song as well though. Alot of Michael Jackson songs do hold some kind of personal meaning to me. Remind me of something or some one special. I know of a lot people who share that same sentiment. Maybe thats why people tend to lose their mind. Or just shed a tear over his passing.
If anything Im pretty upset I never got to see him in concert. Im not a concert goer really. But Mike has always been on my list of performers I wanted to see live. Watching “This is it” basically confirmed why I wanted to see this man live. That “This is it” concert was gonna be live. That man was a true performer. “This is it” also showed me that Mike hadnt put out anything classic in a while before he died. But as an entertainer or an artist, I could see working your ass off for over 30 years. And then post up and live off of all the hard ass work you did over all that time for the rest of your life. Which is what he was about to do lol. Just like The Late, Great, James Brown did lol.

RIP Mike.


As illustrated by this picture here lol. This picture was taken at Catalina Island, during a smoke break. Which is sounding like a good idea right about now.

So since I, all of a sudden, have better shit to do than write blog post. I leave you with a summary of the day I had at Catalina in video form. We ran around this island on golf carts being asses. Most fuckery driven fun I’ve had in quite some time.

Yes. Yong fell out the golf cart lol. wooooo that shit was hilarious.

Click Here for the whole photo set.


This video is old as shit. Like December 2008 I believe. We were all pretty faded. Then Yong and Clever break out into a debate about how much liquor Yong as actually consumed lol.


So we get to downtown LA about two hours before the parade began, we walked up and down the parade route looking at bootleg Laker gear and interacting with all the other fans. I had hella friends there and some how saw none of them lol.

When the parade started, I looked around and there were people every damn where. We were in front of staples we werent that far back. The float passed us. Took about 45 seconds. And then. That was it lol.

You could have been on two sides of the parade route. The side we were on had Kobe, Magic and Cap! I was hella happy! I would have been PISSSSSED if I was on the other side and found out they were on the side I WASNT on lol.

After they passed. We went to Trader Vics for Fish and Mai Tai’s. Good Times!


I have been bullshiting on posting videos to my damn site. Dah. Oh well.

One random rainy day at the office, it turned into Easy-E Karaoke lol! This was great.

This is also me practicing some video editing lol