April 2010 - Uhmah Park

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So RJ and I roll to The Crazy Chicken ( El Pollo Loco ) for lunch. We walk in and the first thing I notice is the bathroom door to my left. Mainly because I had to piss. And what do I see? This shit lol. My first thought was… I know I can fit. But what about that guy on the wheel chair? Lol After further investigation I discovered it was a cleverly disguised mop closet. Guess u can piss in there lol. Luckly the real bathroom was right next to it. Because I had to go. I would have lol


If there are going to be bad people in this world. At least the vast majority of them are dumb.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9L5ih45sLM

Maybe this pervert didnt notice that she had on, what appears to be a Karate Fit? Maybe he wasnt a perv, maybe he wanted to just rob this lil girl for her ipod like an asshole. In any event. He paid for his sins at the unforgiving hands of a lil girl who clearly wasnt having none of that bullshit on THIS day. And to prove her point. Not only did she beat this muthafucka the fuck down and stood over him like she was talking to him while beating his punk ass. She drug this dude BACK in the elevator, but she chased this mtuafucka OUT of the elevator to continue the ass whooping she was handing out! I would have loved to see how this ended up. And if this guy actually got a black eye or showed any phyical damage taken by this lil ass girl lol.

Good job lil girl! Those Karate lessions have clearly paid off lol.


So, one day. Im all extra unsober. Minding my own business. And then this commercial comes on

 

LMAO gotdammit, I almost sufficated myself from laughter. I thought I was gonna die. I couldnt imagine that being me at ALL!! Three knock off geeked out Agent Smiths come busting through my walls on squaking ass ostriches out of no where?!?!  That would fuck with anybody. Not one dude on a ostrich. But he brough two friends for back up! Also on ostriches! They not only fucked up this mans walls. But they tore this mans room apart! The one ostrich had his head all in his draws! LMAO
Then to make the murder complete, he not only gets locced up on by a dude on a ostrich. But the guy on the ostrich commands this ostrich to poke the fuck out of this nigga in his chest LMAO followed by "ZIP IT!!". This is how you punk the fuck out of somebody. This is the real meaning of being punked. These fools wasnt playin lol.

But what I wanna know, is why this guy looks like a modern day Soul Man.  I understand this is a commercial and all. But I cant help but imagine if that shit happen to me, there is no way I wouldnt make my way out of that room some how some way. Dipping and ducking ostriches lol or fuck it, run through one lol. This shit would have anybody lossing their gotdamn mind.

This is one of those things thats ALWAYS funny no matter what, long as its not you. You'd laugh if they did this to your own child, mamma, grand ma. Anybody. Except if it happen to your ass. LOL

This is an awesome commercial lol


Sometime in 2004 or 2005, I was noticing that every celebrity was coming out with some kind of clothing line or perfume line or some kind of other line of whatever the hell. So as a joke, I said, Im going to make a Clothing line called "Chronic Couture". So of course, random OJ. One blowed day, I was watching a Laker game or something and I just ended up making a couple just to pass some time. I put up a t-shirt store on spreadshirt and just let these just sit there. I told a few people about them. But no major marketing effort. I thought it was more funny than anytyhing.

But now, there is a new measure on the ballot here in California to really legalize Marijuana. Real reform and regulation (Visit TaxCannabis.org for more info). And Im all for it. So to show my support I am relaunching my "VOTE FOR HYDRO" T-Shirts. Because Pedro cant do shit for you! Hydro brings joy to every ones lives, brings people together and will bring the state out of financial anarchy lol. With every purchase a donation will be made towards the cause!

Also, because I love women smokers. There are Vote For Hydo t-shirts for women as well

 

There are a few different colors and styles available. More after the jump.


So one random day last year, I had to get something done to my car. My trusty mechanic's trusty shop is in the heavily Latino populated part of town. So on this random day, when my car was finished being serviced. My mechanic parks my car in the lot next to his shop. I stroll over to get my car, then right as Im about to step into the car. I see this man right here, laid the hell out under this truck.

At first, I didnt know what to think. But It was hot as FUCK on this random ass day. So I thought, oh no? Maybe this guy is DEAD!? Was I about to be the next contestant on the first 5 minutes of a Criminal Scene Investigative Unit show? Well lets see? Let me get my white person on and take a closer look. Hold up. First let me take a picture lol. Then I inched closer to this guy. Still couldnt tell if he was breathing. So I inch closer. Not REALLY wanting to discover a dead body, I started to hope he was alive. Then I noticed that this dude was laid out on a big ass piece of card board. With the ground being hot as fuck. A dead guy wouldnt lay out a piece of card board to die on. I got close enough to smell a whole bunch of liquor coming off the guy. And then I noticed him breathing. So I figured as a Black Person my obligation to this situation had officially come to an end


So… I suppose the ad company for Old Spice figured they were on to something with the big buff hilarious Black guy commercials. So they decided to max out their potential by getting Terry Tate to be as hilarious as fucking possible. Theres a series, but this is the first one I saw. It caught me completely off guard lol.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=3tI4CbCniBI

I actually have some of this stuff. I like it lol. I already had some of this stuff in my bathroom before I saw the commercial. I said to myself “16 hours? fuck yea!” and apparently I was on to something. This shits hilarious lol It works too.


Im a big Star Wars fan, so this is pretty gotdamn funny to me. The coldest Star War joke, possible… EVER! lol

Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru Action Figures

LMAO! Gotdammit this shit is the fucking guts! I’d fucking buy this!!


I hate when I take a break from the news and miss good shit. After shaking hands with a Hatian, George Bush wiped his hand off on Bill Clinton. You cant make up shit like this and Im so mad I missed this when it was a breaking story. But apparently alot of other people did too. But Snoop and George Lopez insist on putting this man on blast lol. Big G Dub stay getting busted on camera. Its great. I wonder how many generations it will take for people to realize that there is always somebody around with a camera lol


PSA: Handy Wipes