December 2009 - Uhmah Park

Its come to my attention, that some how alot of people have not seen the new overly great and awesome nike basketball commercials. Your bad. I think I’ll take this moment here to deem myself an online commercial reviewer lol. I love commercials.

Anyway. So Nike got Lupe and Krs-One to play as Blitzen and Santa respectively to pair up for a rap battle and basketball game between Blitzen and the Holf gang vs Santa, Kobe and Lebron. So Blitzen starts off, and its not bad:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ies-B3AXc-k
“Santa lookin shook… kobe lookin shook… lebron lookin shook i throw your ball on the roof!”

First of all… why did Blitzen get jiggy on these niggas lmao. This was actually great. I was pretty impressed. I didnt even know it was Lupe, until after I heard it. And Im not a Lupe fan at all. Not saying that he wrote it… who knows. Right when I started to wonder who santa was gonna be and how he was gonna respond.

A quick look through the related videos showed Santas response:

http://www.youtube.com/v/tS58I3hMnG4

!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wish I had the time to point out every bar of this rhyme and how dope it was. Every single fucking bar was awesome. Clearly…. Krs-One took this faux-battle way too seriously. It was like Lupe jumped on the court to play with Jordan, thought it was all fun and games until Mike banged on his ass for no reason and thought it was hilarious. Like let me remind every body that Im the greatest with this here. It sounded like Krs might have taken this too seriously, but he still thought lupe was a joke. Like dont ever battle me Son! Not for pretend, Not as a joke, Not to your friends when I cant here you and aint gonna find out, not even in your muthafuckin dreams! The drops the mic on this nigga. Good lord!

The line that they beeped out. Im only left to assume that Krs said “you aint even brown nosing, your nose is black” thats the only thing that makes since to me. It doesnt matter what he really said this was fuckin great. I feel like Krs released a new track. All three tracks are going in my car lol. These two beats are fuckin BANGIN. gotdamn

Chris Cringle… the gifts in my salava…
shit…

Anybody else notice that sometimes the snow is falling up in these videos?
… so yea… the third video when they ball:

http://www.youtube.com/v/LfcafAekkLs

Merry Xmas BLITZ!!!!
this shit was the guts…

If you notice, about 1:45 in the video, Kobe throws his patented Kobe elbow LOL

In the words of the reindeer… EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE…

i point out that line because that sound… is VERY similar to the sound that the bumble bee made when he was trying to cheer up JD’s obviously stressful day, that eventful “World Famous Bumble Bee Story” day. Except that the sound the bumble bee made was high pitched and didnt sound like an reindeer being kicked in the ass. just EEEEEEE… the first part… over and over again lololol oh shit lmao


These shoes are so dope..

Dammit I want these. Except I’d wanna ball in these more than I’d wanna rock em. I really dont feel like these are rockable basketball shoes. Although I would probably try to some degree if I ever get my hands on any. $230 is enough to make me give up on balling in these. But fuck. These are awesome.
One day. They dont even have em in my damn size


… were not here to start no trouble.

I present to you the sex offender shuffle: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VfCYZ3pks48

Deep in my heart, i know this is a joke. But a giant piece of me doesnt want it to be!!!

I still havent been able to laugh at this. Way too gutty. There is way too much ( too much too much too much its just too much—inside joke ) going on in this video. I seriously dont even know where the fuck to start.

I feel like, i could spend the next week laughing at this shit. Or I can go be a responsible adult and take care of my business and my family. I cant do both LMAO one will suffer lol Im fucking walking away. Enjoy!!


So I pull up to the light around the corner from my office. Out the corner of my eye I see two individuals about to cross the street, I pay them no mind. A big ass truck pulls up to my left so I never got a clear look at the two people about to cross in front of me. All of a sudden I see these two cross in front of my car. 

The Reverse Flesh Yamacha Wearing Midget

!
I didnt bust out in laughter, but I was over come with a wave of hilarity. I had to think quick, I fumbled for my phone. I saw this mans Reverse Yamacha but I never imagined I’d get a picture this great!! I snapped this picture and felt like Kobe when he hit that game winner in D. Wades EYE the other day. YES! BANK!!!!! And no I didnt call it! IT WAS ALL LUCK!

LETS CELEBRATE!!! … with commentary from my friends!

I immediately emailed my friends this picture from my phone and here is come of the resulting commentary:

John: Damn…his maker gave him a double dose of “You’re Phucked!”…not only is the phucker a dwarf…but damit if he is not rocking a mullet with reverse Yamika!  It looks like he has a Mullet with a Flesh Yamika…LMAO…why…why did he have to pass you, while you had your camera so readily available!?!?!  THANK YOU SIR!

Resha: is that a small, quiet anti-social gathering of hair in the middle of his massive bald spot? whats that all about?

JD: Holy shit, there it is, chimpanzee ass!  This nigga hair look like an octopus with VD.  And how did he happen to be walkin around with some random nigga, how the hell did they become friends?

A Chat between Dell and I:
Dell: i didnt get the picture u guys were emailing about, so i had no witty banter to contribute
OdotJdot: hold up

OdotJdot: sent
Dell: whoa!
Dell: did u pass the lord of the rings 4 movie set?
OdotJdot: lmao
OdotJdot: LMAO!!!!!!

Dell: it could be a hulk hogan mini-me
OdotJdot: lmao
OdotJdot: this nigga john said he had on a flesh yamacah lol
Dell: flesh?
Dell: wow
Dell: god did deal dude a bad hand of genes tho
Dell: this shit is like having no spades and no face cards
Dell: nigga had to just “play the hand out” and shit
OdotJdot: OH SHIT LMAOLMAO

Dell: god has wack shuffling skills
Dell: nigga had a bunch of clubs and shit
Dell: this is def some misdeal shit
Dell: niggas would have to count their cards
OdotJdot: LMAO!!!!!!!!
OdotJdot: LLOLLMA OMAFLMAFKDFAFKNASF
Dell: shit
OdotJdot: LMAO GOTDAMMI LMAO
OdotJdot: lol this nigga probably cussed at God for re-niggin n shit lol
OdotJdot: this is he end result
Dell: hahahaha
OdotJdot: and the reason that nigga is smiling so big is because this lil nigga was telling him the story of how he caught the coldest smite lmao
Dell: hahahaha
Dell: they just left a card game and the normal sized man with hair is telling him about the bad hand that caused him to loose his rolex
Dell: the little hair culdasac nigga is saying, “u think YOU had a bad hand?”
OdotJdot: LMAO!!!!!
OdotJdot: LMAO!!!!!!!
OdotJdot: this was the roughest midget i ever did see nigga
Dell: hahaha
OdotJdot: if this lil nigga threatened me, id have to say the safe bet would to believe he could do whatever he said he could do lol
OdotJdot: like this has to be one of the midgets that beat up tommy cole and martin nigga lmao
Dell: if his grill is rough then god is out of line
OdotJdot: nigga he probably took down martin and cole by hisself lmao
OdotJdot: nigga have you seen the jack in the box commercial where jack goes to visit his cousin in jail?
Dell: what if its bushwick bill trying to go white like mike jackson?
OdotJdot: LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dell: nah @ jack
Dell: the guts?
OdotJdot: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tsJYpH-tZQI
OdotJdot: he had a head like cousin jim with the reverse flesh yamickah lol
Dell: whoa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dell: this commerical is the fucking guts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dell: this nigga said he missed shower curtains
OdotJdot: YES NIGGA!!!!!
Dell: LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OdotJdot: LMAOLMAO
OdotJdot: nigga thats all i could picture when this lil nigga was crossing the street lmao
OdotJdot: i didnt think id catch such a perfect picture of this niggas hair
OdotJdot: but that shit turned out perfect!!! lol
OdotJdot: i was like oh shit cousin jim got out of jail!!!!
09:10
Dell: whoa!
OdotJdot: nigga i fumbled my camera n shit lol
OdotJdot: i couldnt believe my eyes lol
OdotJdot: the tall nigga was yuckin it up to whatever he was saying…
OdotJdot: i was like i wonder if he is just laughing to cover up the fact that he is laughing that he is walking in public with a descendant of Yosemite sam n shit lol
Dell: yosemite sam!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dell: ??????????????
Dell: wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OdotJdot: LMAO!!!!!!!!

John a-fucking-gain: LMAO @ “…i was like i wonder if he is just laughing to cover up the fact that he is laughing that he is walking in public with a descendant of Yosemite sam n shit lol…”

WOW…LMAO You know i was gonna mention the posture of the normal sized dude walking next to him…he seems to be uncomfortable and in effect just trying to weather the storm of whatever issues this triple shirt, dome piece preped for brain surgery little person was trying to throw his way…(Note the hand placed in pocket…and the look over the proverbial “Cold shoulder)…BTW…this nigga is wearing the most leather or leatherette (Pleather) of all blazers and is indeed getting his MOB on…LMAO whats that all about.  This is further proof to me that this cat is not associated with the “Hulk Hogan Mini-Me”.  dude is probably headed home from a Job interview at Big Lots looking to catch the 225 bus north, and is now listening to the exploits of this natural born midget Jew…(hey Aaron…you think he’s a commy???)…tis is the perfect cover for this fraudulent animal epidermis dress coat wearer to project the clowning on to the little guy.

Aaron: ok why has no one spoke on the fact this this nigga has on SHORTS..like real man shorts or should i say boys shorts..so they look like PANTS hahahahaha…and just like a porn..HOW DID THEY MEET…one dude is dressed for the cold the other looks like he want to hit the beach…yet they are walking..was this a joint venture..or did one pass the other with the ol random talk..” my sister is a midget..you dont say…..”…or ” hey wehre did you get that coat?…oh right down here let me show you the spot”

aaaaaand we’re done. lol
I can start my day now.


Has this ever happen to you? You have a female friend who you moderately flirt with and there is a possibility of ‘something’ happening. Something could be anything, from Sex to a Relationship,. And lets say, youre really only interested in sex and she might be interested in ‘something’ like a relationship. Alot of times, its some one who just wants to be with some one else of the sake of be being boo’d up. They dont really even like you, they’re just looking for somebody to fill a slot.

Firstly, ending up in that situation sucks, because all you wanted to do was fuck from time to time. But this person has something else in mind that requires alot more attention and work than you believe said person is worth. So you and this person go through a little tussle. Where youre half way trying to fuck, doesnt matter to you. But everytime you hit this person up, theyre not really trying to get with YOU per say. But they make it known that they wanna be in a damn relationship or at least some kind of regular in your face-too-gotdamn-much-ness. In dealing with this other person you happen to meet a friend of theirs some how, who is just beautiful, or more your speed, who you would much more rather deal with than the person you wish you would have never had that blow job conversation with.

Has this ever happen to you? Where you wish you would have met the friend first? Its happen to me. At least 5 different times. So what would you do? Would you wait this person out, till they got into a relationship with some one else or really interested in somebody else?. Would you have the balls to ask for the hook up? I have. Met with much resistance surprisingly? Whats that about? Haters.
Maybe I have more to offer your friend. Maybe you suck lol. Clearly youre a hater.Chances are you suck lol. Nobody ever thinks about that. oh well lol