Uhmah Park

Month: January 2009


Trying to buss a beter nut than God intended – FTL!

In July of last year Ralph Santiago, age 31 manged to suffocate himself by accident. Mr Santiago was found dead in the men’s bathroom of his brand new job. Thats right. His second day on the job, he was found in the mens bathroom by the guy following his shift. He worked as a security guard Slumped over on the toilet, in wellingtons, a wet suit and a gas mask over his face. Apparently the night before, Mr Santiago had been printing out instructions of how to gain a better sexual arousal by inhaling poppers through a gas canister and […]

Soup Theater: Steve Nash – How to take a charge time and time again FTL

Ive been watching basketball most of my life. And after watching Steve Nash getting dunked on, time and time again, in attempt to draw a charge. I have come to one conclusion. Steve Nash clearly doesnt believe that Black guys have the ablitity to jump very high. Not only that but there isnt a Black man walking the planet that has any reservations about dunking on a white guy. No matter what his size or condition. He could be retarded. If he is under the rim, his neck is in danger. Those are the rules. Maybe Steve Nash likes getting […]

Can I Kick It?

YES WE CAN! I saw this and had to purchase it. I havent bought any Obama shirts or plates or anything unofficial that didnt directly support the campaign this whole time. I bought a Hope and Change poster, but that was it. But I saw this shit and just had to have it. This shit is fuckin great. There is a Black version also… but it appears to be sold out. I got the white one. Although Calvin says he’s never seen me in white. I had to look through some of my pictures and low and behold. I dont […]

Im The Cock Of The Walk!!

I need a shirt that says that shit. … if that is indeed what the faux Sean Connery did say. I’d like to believe he did. So therefore that is the title of this entry! This shit was dumb funny. I want so very badly to start calling my therapist, “The Rapist” but she is a women so I wont do that. But if it was a guy. Id have to turn that into his name lol. However, I will probably never spell therapist again with that lil hint lol. The other thing that makes this clip. Fucking Jeff Goldbloom. […]

Top 5 Funniest ESPN Commercial Ever

This shit here damn near killed me!!! The look on this mans face. I cant stop laughing to try to remember his name. I just saw this and I am fresh off the floor from laughing at this shit. This is the funniest shit Ive seen in a while!! All year in fact!! This is funny for hella reasons. First of all, this is a horror flick waiting to happen. First we get a Black President and then we get a commercial that plays out an actual situation Black People talk about all the time. “Sheeeeit, if that was me?!! […]


The Philadelphia Eagles: The Come Back – FTL!!

Poor Donovan. I actually like Donovan McNabb, although he has absolutely no real Grit. Which is a crying ass shame, because he is pretty damn good. I have to admit, I left at half time of this game, to catch an Ikea sale. Fuck it, they were getting their asses kicked. I didnt possibly think they could show any heart in the second half. Low and behold, I come back and find out these fools actually managed to take the lead. By a stinking ass point.They basically shut down the Cards in the 3rd quarter. What happen in the 4th […]

Supra DeathWish

These shoes say “Death Wish on the back. Now why that is super funny to me, is because I grew up in LA ( 53rd and Hoover ), in the 80’s and 90’s and wearing some shit like this around back then in the wrong part of town. And these shoes would have been exactly that. You having some kinda fucking death wish. I was on Figueroa today, and I saw some teenagers crossing the street. One of them had a Braves hat on with a red brim and one had on a all brown shirt. I remember when you […]

Happy New Year, All Extra Late N Shit

Im already fucking up. You will see why shortly. Its Jan 16th (Syls Bday – HAPPY BIRTHDAY SYL!) and this is my first blogger entry of the year. Firstly… My New Years Eve was FUCKING GREAT!. The homie Yong got his girl P a new camera flash. That shit is awesome, and it/she took some great ass pictures. Since my vanity and narsicsim is getting back to ridiculous levels they used to be at. Here are all the pictures featuring me. Your welcome. OJ & Syl 3 of 4 Juave Bros. (John, JD, OJ) Featuring Jessica and Clever Ray and […]

I See Random People

While watching the Lakers of Los Angeles, play the Rockets of Houston. My cousin JD pretty much got offended (you read right) that the people at the Houston arena decided to play Funky Cold Medina on a change of possession. Which reminded him of another time we had both randomly heard a Tone Locc classic. And while in the course of being taken through this memory, I had a thought. What have I done in my past, that probably fucked up a vote for Obama, in this past election. What I mean is… as a Black person, what have I […]