October 2007 - Uhmah Park

Youre mad because my style/ youre admirin’
Dont Be Mad / UPS Is Hirin’

– Biggie – excerpt from the greatest verse in hiphop ever, yea I said it!

So there is this rapper on the east coast named Ransom, dont know who he is? Me either, Im a West Coaster and everything out there dont really make its way out here. But thanks to the internet, the bridge is really short these days. Horay. Still dont know who this dude is? Neither do I… Google It. (LMAO You might get this joke later) Anyway, like I was saying. Some guy named Ransom came out with a diss track aimed at, a more well known rapper, Joe Budden.

At the moment, both these niggas have come out with two diss tracks a piece aimed at each other. And what I’ve gathered thus far is something along the following: Ransom, Joe and Fabulous (lol) used to be in a group together called the A-team. I guess Fab is ever where and Joe had a big single back in the day and a huge huge hiphoper following and is still relevant … this dude though? Personally, I dont know and have no previous information to report. But apparently according to him (ransom), he’s a big deal of some proportions. Which is always important to tell your self as a rapper, even on the smallest level.

And then one day, for whatever reason, ransom released a diss track for Joe. You can find it here.  Then Joe Budden some hours later let this nigga have it one good time. You can find it here. This shit was ruff. Id take time out to point out some lines, but Im watching the game and Id have to switch the sound off, fuck it. Trust me, its pretty fuckin cold. So then, this nigga ransom, resorts to threatening niggas lol. Tsk Tsk, oh ye thee fronting emcee. This nigga might as well just said he was sorry. So this nigga Joe came back with This here. Some hours later!
Like I said, the nigga might as well said he was sorry. Gotdamn lol. If a nigga ever had that much to say about me that quick. And was clearly that much better at me at it lol. I dont know, Im no quitter, but fuck that lol. Me and this nigga Joey would at least be fighting in duck shit in this niggas front yard or something. Something nigga damn. This man ransom didnt even get sonned, this was way worse. This was like some old Mortal Kombat II shit. You know how (if you were playing me) you get your ass whooped and you cant do shit about it in the first round, But you get in a lucky punch or two but for the most part, you get your ass whooped. Then the second round starts and then you get your ass whooped again even worse, no lucky punch this time… and that knock off darth vader nigga comes in talkin about “Flawless Victory!”. Then the nigga who whoops your ass at the arcade or even worse at your own house decides to be a really big asshole and instead of him doing the really fataily move where there is blood and guts every where. He does that Babality bullshit and turns the you into a infant.  lol

This exchange was like if you go do that shit in rap songs, but foreal lol. Which is why some clever guy tried this shit and then was nice enough to screen shot it for us lol. Cold shit lmao.

Then there was this picture, which inspired this blog post by me.

If you havent noticed, or arent quick enough to put 2 and 2 together. This is a photoshoped picture of ransom. Post second Joe Budden diss. lmao. I been laughing at this shit all day lol Gotdamn lol. Unfortunately I did not make either graphic. But I am responsible for bringing it to you for you to enjoy. Youre welcome lol.

What I cant understand is this: How is it that rappers are such poor judges of other rappers skill? I listened to ransoms tracks. And if that was the best that nigga was gonna do, or was capable of doing overall. How could he not know that Joe would hand him his ass. Twice times. How could he REALLY think he could out do Joe after the first time, is beyond me.

This is like when Jim Jones was talkin shit about Jay-Z. You ask your self, what the fuck was this nigga thinking? Even if Jim is more gangta than Jay, and Ransom is more gangta than Joe. No matter what, your opposition is better than you are at your own craft which is how your put money in your pocket. And if its not your main source of fundage, at the very least its the medium in which you have challenged your opponent. A medium in which you are clearly out skilled. And no matter how much you claim that youre better at some other shit. The medium in which you chose your challenge youve lost horribly and appear to be the loser in the situation. No matter what. And who wants that? So… what the fuck was this nigga thinking? All I can some up with is, rappers are generally a poor judge of their opponents skill. Shit happens all the time in Hiphop. Lucky for me, I enjoy a onesided fight! THANKS JOE!!!! And shout out to Youg for showing this shit to a nigga. Shit was the GUTS! gotdamn!!!

I love diss tracks. LOL diss tracks are kinda like the Porn of Hiphop. Alot of people see it as negative, but most of those same people partake on some level lol. And somebody is usually fuckin somebody in some way shape or form lol wooooo lol.


… and they are having a conversation. Would it be rude of me to ease drop? Who cares, these muthafuckas are on MY roof. For what reason? I have no clue. (turns out they were clearing leafs out of the gutter) I live in a little condo village or what have you. So I hope that clears up any questions as to why there are two muthafuckas on my roof right now. I dont know what the fuck they are doing up there. But it isnt the first time there has been somebody on the roof and I didnt know why.

Anyway.  So Im listening to these muthafuckas right. And they are talking about some lady who fell her ass off a roof, and landed face first. I dont know when. But from the conversation, I now know what happen as a result of this lady falling off a roof and landing on her face. The one guy telling the other guy, said that the lady broke every bone in her face. Which turns out included her forehead. Which is now starting to sound like hype at this point, because the guy telling the story went on to say that she cracked her forehead open, and her brains n shit started to leak out. But the lady is still walking and only has one little scare, or something to that effect. Oh really? He also said, before all of that shit… she broke both her eye sockets, jaw, chin, teeth, whole face. THEN he went into the forehead shit. Im starting to feel like this guy is blowing more than chimney smoke lol.

Im wondering how far does a muthafucka have to fall for all that to happen, and then they survive with out the most gruesome of face obscurities?? And then Im wondering, I dont see these muthafuckas up there with no ropes or nothing. I have a two story spot! lol The last thing Imma wanna talk about to some clumsy fat guy (i discovered they was fat after they went over to the next roof) is about what would happen if one of our fat asses was to fall off this roof. Maybe Im just scared of heights. ( not totally, but enough )
I started to wonder though. The wind has been blowing pretty hard lately, and its not unfeasable for the wind to blow you off balance. If one of these dudes was to trip, stumble and then fall off my roof screaming past my window and folded my outdoor furniture in the back yard. I wondered how I’d feel about that lol.

I can bet I’d be pretty pissed that there was a dead white dude in my back yard and I didnt put him there initially. In any circumstance this would be extremely unacceptable, honestly. But, I honestly cant see feeling sorry for his ass up front. Maybe at some point.
But if this muhfucka was to survive??? And please dont let a loud pain saturated moan follow that terrible crash and fall. Because right now, I cant stop laughing at the thought of this man folding his self in that manner. LOL WOOOOO. I just spent like the last 15 min laughing at this believing that shit would be the funniest shit ever. I can see my self running outside and laughing my ass off in this mans face first. The best I could do would be to say something such as “DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYAAAMN LMAO ARE YOU ALRIGHT? LMAO”. Yea, that sounds like the best I could do.
Just incase you were wondering, Yes I am also fucked up enough to make him pay for everything damaged, AND clean that shit up before the ambulance gets here. lol

And No, Im not praying for this guy to fall. At least not in my back yard (what you niggas know about NIMBY?). If he fell in somebody elses back yard for me to see from here though!! LMAO !!! WOOOOOOOO. Id have to break out the SLR with the zoom lol. lol fuck help lol. At least until Im done laughin my ass off lol.


I know for sure, Im not the only person out there who watches Cavemen on ABC. I might be one of two Black people that watch this show though, because out of most of my friends that Ive polled (the majority of whom happen to be Black like myself) none of them watch the show. Except for my cousin JD, and I dont know if he still watches it.

Anyway, here we have a show where FINALLY the guys in hollywood get to be racist, and EVERYBODY thinks its funny. I mean, I personally think its the fucking guts. I really appreciate the shit they get away with on this show. Ive havent heard ANY ONE bitch about how openly racist that show is.
And here is why I say Finally. Because, as far as I can remember, every show that has ever had “regular” people treating another group of “odd” people differently in the open.. They were like aliens, or some kind of animal or some other off brand shit, and most times, sex was really out of the fucking question. This shit here… is actually HUMANS being treated DIFFERENTLY in the open by OTHER HUMANS. Discrimination, stereotypes and bigotry, all over the place. Whole show most of the time. Its the fuckin guts, I swear. For example… there are three cave men that live in one apt. The land lady, this old white bird, trifflin as fuck, janky as fuck, all that – of course, this bitch cant tell these three muhfuckas apart. Come on now.

But the thing about it is, they take every stereotype you can and throw it in there some how. Actually, its most of the stereotypes Black people are faced with. At least those are the ones I recognize for the most part lol. But whatever lol we’ll just pretend for now. I dont watch the show sober no how, so I could be making this all up, and the whole shit could not be funny at all.

So like I was saying, there is no disputing that “cavemen” are in fact a kind of human. Not far off from what “we” are now. Yet… they are different. But, conveniently, as the commercials that spawned the whole show in the first place have taught us… cavemen arent really real… “anymore”, but now from the commercials, they are. So basically, you have a situation where you have a “race” of people who arent “really around anymore” but for the sake of the show they are and have been and we didnt know about it. Also as a convenience, we all just happen to have an idea of how they “were” at “one point”. So now they are all ready made with stereotypes, of various uncivilized this, they are violent that, self hate issues, we’re so different issues, be proud of who you are and where you come from yap yap yap… when clearly, they can be civilized too( – Word to Bill O’reilly and his punk ass. ) And they have the same issues that all ethnic people have and that white people can identify with on some level some how. (im not gonna ask any questions here)
But this is funny, if you dont have a MAJOR stick up your ass.. because not only is it not you being a victim of hollywoods jokes and open racisim, but its not your friends either!!! So there is no guilt!! No only being offended when your caveman friend is around, No sneaking those dirty words under your breath. No having to be obligated to beat somebody ass if you do happen to hear them say that word, or even tell your caveman friend lol!! lol none of that shit lol. Then to make the murder complete, the dudes on the show are WAYYY to bitchy for any ethnic group to identify with all the way, even if they wanted to. Unless they just happen to be a bitch ass person. I’d suggest that Bill O could identify well, but I doubt he could ever be that funny and that bitchy at the same time lol
So youre free to laugh at all this open racisim, because its not directed at anybody thats really “real” yet and and still they borrow real issues from every ethnic group and laugh at them as they are made into this that and teach us a lesson or whatever at the end of the show when everybody comes to their respective resolves and what not.
But as far as I can see it, most of the episodes Ive seen, they didnt have any of the typical resolve. Its actually kind of a fucked up resolve of somebody being a bitch ass person in the first place. Kind of like sienfield episode. Which is why everybody loved that show. Which is why I think I like this show.

You know what, if you havent seen the show, take a look for your self: (this is a short by the way, the show goes nothing like this at all)

video://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jbkPRIwKwLA

Sigh, lol if you dont see that shit, then your bad lol. Shits fuckin halarious. A “shaver”, homie? Its who you are inside that counts?? lol man! I really cant take it. The people that write this show are so full of shit. Its great! I love it. As bitchy as these three muthafuckas are. And the 4th caveman that just comes out of no where randomly? Its like hes a tame caveman will farrell, just way funnier to me. I’ll take a moment to throw my own predictable stereotype in the bunch and give an ol’ “The 4th random caveman is off the chain, word!!”
And thats all I have to say about that.

As I did mention before though, Ive never watched this show sober, so I could be wrong about this. But I dont think Ive ever seen a Black person on this show. Ive never really seen any other ethnic people on this show other that white people, and hairy ass white people with fucked up faces and low brows. Like this guy on the right:


For my espn watchers, Ric Bucher is the missing link homie, I swear it!! lmao Thats the best picture I could find ( trust me, it gets way worse than this), but I turned off Cavemen, straight to sportscenter (of course!) and this muthafucka was on my HD, and had my blowed ass thinking I didnt turn Cavemen off for a second.
Poor TV people, HD is NOT being kind to yall at all. They got Ric Bucher looking like the Shaver that wrote in to the question a caveman jumpoff lol. Botoxed the fuck up lol. (Ric is gonna be pissed if he ever decided to google his name lol)
And while I have the picture there, this nigga here on the left, I think his name is Mike Terico. He looks like he is barely Black lol. He’s right at the line where you dont have to maybe wonder if thats a white guy made up as a Black man lol. To me, he also looks like he could be the first Black serial killer to eat his victims in squares. While in contrast Ric Bucher on the right over here, looks like he just clubs bitches with his big ass espn mic and drags them by the hair to this hotel room, from city to city n shit lol. (zing!)
But back to Mike Terico, you would never believe the voice that comes out of this dude. Ill just say, whatever you thought it was gonna be if you never heard it before. Thats not it, I can almost promise you that lol. This muthafucka has the most commanding voice possible to look like that. Think about it, He manages crazy coaches, athletes and anylist on espn post game pre game half time all those shows. He is a wrangler of time, information, opinion and advertising space. All with his voice lol. Amazing.


Yahoo mail turned 10 years old the other day, can you believe that shit? Here it is, a tool alot of people rely on for their day to day. And its only 10 years old. Amazing. I remember when they first launched this bullshit. I never really liked it. They improved it a bunch of times. But every since google mail came out, theyve been playing catch up. Opps. The whole yahoo camp must feel like jack asses. At one point, yahoo had everything there ever was. And nobody could really challenge them. There shit wasnt the greatest, but it was better than mostly everything else (fuck aol). Here comes Google, has less fun shit, but is kicking there ass and the MSN situations ass all over the place. Dah well.

Anyway. Fuck yahoo anyway. Ive have 4 different accounts TAKEN from me, by some asshole  on the internet some place. Ive tried and tried and tried to contact yahoo, but they were’nt ever trying to hear me. Sigh. Bitches. I used to have a mail account, along with everything else. Used to be a full user of their services just because i had an account for so long, and fantasy football and all that. I had all kind of history and Fantasy league championships under my shit. All wiped away because these muthafuckas dont know how to lock they shit up. Thats right, it wasnt my fault at all. One day, I just couldnt log into my shit no more. All the info and passwords were fucking changed. I really wanted to put my hands on somebody. I still do infact. Bitches.

Its alright though, Thank God for google (aka the Imperial Forces). Too bad they dont have a Fantasy league though lol.

10 years though. And I remember when the shit was new. Before blogging and mp3’s and myspace… shit that was before blackplanet! Damn, and im not even 30 yet!! lol Im old still though I suppose. I dont even know all the cool hip trendy sites on the web no more. Sigh. Im out of the loop. Oh well, still the same shit, different group of jack asses. I aint missing shit, im sure.


My homeboy Dell showed me this earlier. This shit was so funny I couldnt even fucking laugh. I really held back my laughter because I was afraid I wouldnt stop for a while; and or fucking suffocate my self, either or.
Im posting this for some of my favorite people. The ones that find this OVERLY funny, just like I do. I know I dont get to talk to yall all that much, but I miss yall. lol

African-American Boycott of L.L. Bean Enters 80th Year

Shits the GUTS, the Black dude at the end fucking kills me. And then this guy talkin about fuckin Black Kayaking Enthusiast n shit?! LOL holy shit lol.


Only my true Laker fans will apperciate this here. Many people dont know, that Eddie Jones was Kobe Bryant before Kobe got to the Lakers. Ahhh I remember watching Laker games waiting for Eddie to smash on somebody. It was great!! Until Kobe got there, and then stole the fuckin show. Oops. I think Eddie Jones is great, but he aint dropin 81. Even in the eastern confrence. But that in no way takes away from his greatness! It was a sad day when Eddie was traded, sigh. Good thing we’ve had Kobe to fill that void all this time. Good thing indeed lol. Anyway…

This is Soup Theatre and Eddie Jones was dished out plenty hot bowls of soup! The homie found this on YouTube and I’d like to share it with my fellow Laker fans:

video://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tWx4y9v7urM

DONT JUMP  SHAWN BRADLEY!!!!!

I seen both those games. He used to bang on Shawn Bradley fairly often though. It was like he liked it or something lol.
But the free throw line (kinda lol) dunk?!?!?! AHHHHH I  lost my MIND  when he did that shit!!!  Shaq went nuts , the whole team was hype, it was great. I dont know why that nigga jumped lol. Imma have to look for a better clip. Thats the best I can do. Oh well.

Sigh, lets take a moment for Chick Herns. Laker games will never be the same. At least Stu is there still.

And umm yea, I dont want to talk about any current Laker not making any moves situation because that shit frustrates the fuck out of me. I dont even wanna think about the shit.  I cant do shit to make them muthafuckas do anything in the realm of “smart” as far as bettering the team. I could bitch all day about that shit. Just like Kobe lol. I dont blame that nigga AT ALL. He’s a better man than me, I would have slapped the shit out of somebody by now. Fuck it lol.