Month: May 2005

…. really. its not hard to figure out.

ill admit… im kinda obsessed with my date of birth. only because its the most exciting time of the year for me. i suppose if the most exciting time of the year for me was ground hog day…. the url might be a tad different. heh.

but as for now…. it is what the fuck it is. today is my birthday, and im fucked fucked fucked the fuck up. but i feel hella great! a nigga is 26. and i thank God that i made it to see it thru this far. hopefully, there will be many more years ahead.

but im off for inbration levels unknown…..

Yay for me and no one else!!!!
except for the people with my same birthday… i know like 5 people with my same birthday… shits crazy. that has to be some kinda fuckin record. real shit….

but yea… im done, and its only 9:45… YES SIR!!!

out.

MAN! there is a BIG ass muthafuckin blood sucking ass misquito in my fuckin room right now…

this muthafucka looks like a baby Monthrah n shit.

so… i get my ass up to murder this fucking flying leech of an insect. and the muthafucka disappears right in front of my eyes n shit!

now i know its late, and im kinda tired… but i swear… the muhfucka hit a corner or something and was GONE. just like flys do ( i fucking hate flys… ugh… and what kinda fucking name is that for an insect?!?!?! Fly is a VERB!!! anyway…). it was like a sudden turn… and the son of a bitch fucking vanished on a nigga. how the fuck did he do that?!

so here we go… OJ looks crazy as fuck, because now he is chasing nothing. and now i feel fuckin dumb kinda. well not really… i know what i saw… nobody else was around to see me dope fiend what would seem to be nothing but random air pockets i suppose. but fuck it… nobody saw me. id feel dumb if i was uncertain that i was actually swingin at something. but i know i was swinging at a big ass misquito… the shit was so big, i saw it wink at me when i missed. like HA HA nigga… youre too slow to fuck with me son!!! the muhfucka gave me the finger n shit… disappeared. “YOU CANT SEE ME NIGGA!!!” thats what he told me… lol foreal lol.

so now… im back at my desk now… giving my self the ol preist down. like killed a couple of glasses of jesus juice, and smoked two rocks!

im sittin up here flinchin for nothing… scratchin… rubing on myself aurbitrarly n shit. flickin at my ears, im trying to not really sit too still. because this huge ass misquito is after me now, im sure of it. i mean… id be if i was him. lol i just tried to smack that nigga like he was a bitch. if i was that misquito id bite me, even if it meant certain death lol. just off principal. my whole attitude would be… im going to bite you, muthafucka. and imma enjoy that shit. you might murder my ass… but i wasnt gonna make it outside this week no way. but your punk ass is going to remember this bite at least for the next two weeks or so. scratching at it, and everybody is going to think you got something. AND i hope im carring something… bitch! LOL

AH YEA!!!! our misquito friend fucked up and showed his ass. he flew right by the light and i caught his shawdow out the corner of my eye. i had to take it back to 92 on that nigga. like he was at a stop light, and it was a late los angeles evening, and i was tired of walking. and the pistol in my waist line says i can have your car if i assert my self and go after it!
he got caught slipping something pretty cold if i do say so my self.

but damn tho… im still trippin on how that nigga vanished on me like that. hmmm fuck some hench men lol… i want to learn how to do THAT shit! im already pretty slick to be as big as i am. ( you might wanna read that, shit is the guts lol ) a nigga is 6 foot 6 inches, 230 pounds… and i will sneak up on you like i was your shawdow lol. but if i could just disapear in front of some one on call?!?!?! pssshhhhhh oh boy! that shit would be great and i would take advantage of that shit often. id take advantage of it so often… that if other people could do that shit, id fuck it up for every body! lol its always the nigga to fuck shit up for everybody else right? lol
anyway…. but yea… the misquito is dead… so i no longer feel like a crackhead… my stomach is rumbling right now though.

i should have tried to trick that muthafucka into the bathroom and kept him penned down in the corner while i relieved my self of the fish and chips i had earlier. that would have been true punishment lol. muthafucka would have probably taken his own life before i got a chance to do it lol.

i remember i used to have some cats back in the day… and id be taking a shit… and these niggas would reach under the door for no gotdamn reason ( i think i wrote about that shit ). so one day… i was like fuck it… ill bring your ass in here with me since you wanna reach nigga. lol ok… lol… damn… ok so… im taking a shit. and the cat is in the bathroom… in the furtherest possible corner away from me. huddled the fuck up. just staring at me. looking at me like… fuck you nigga. i cant stand yo black ass. youre so fucking mean to me. fuck.
the fuckin cat HAD to think i was out my gotdamn mind. not only did i lock his ass in the bathroom with me while i was shitting, but i was looking back at him, look at me like that… and i was laughing uncontrolably n shit. gotdamn that shit was funny. its funny now all over again. lol damn. i could have been imaging it… but i swear the cat was shaking his head at me slightly… LMAO gotdammit!!! the cat was really probably thinking… i should fuck you up for this shit. i really should…….
LOL!!!

speaking of funny tho… i murdered this misquito… and i scraped its remains up with some toilet paper… and i put that muthafucka in the toilet… but i did not flush it. but now… i have to take a shit. so im about to get my desicration of a punk ass misquitos remains. thats what the fuck he gets for making me feel like a gotdamn crack head.

Till next time i feel like sharing….. lol. Via Con Dios! And may the rest your day be with out pungent oders of others bowels.

i havent posted anything in a while, because ive been busy…. as fuck. lol
but imma post a quick lil thought i just had at 3:28am in the morning… im a bit of a workaholic, whatever… i thought id share this thought i just had with you people. arent i great? lol.

i remember a few days ago… i was watching one of the james bonds. the one with that Grace Jones i think…. it was a Rodger Moore, Bond movie. so it was decent, but of course it cant fuck with a Sean Conery, or a Timothy… whatever his name is Bond flick. those are the livest. the 2 or 3 with the other lil british guy. he was decent. i hear that there is a new bond… but i cant remember who he is or what movies he’s been in at the moment. anyway… the bond i was watching was A View To A Kill. if you cant tell by now… im a bond fan. James Bond movies are fucking great. a few of them have been boring as hell. but overall… great series. i never get tired of that shit.

So there you have it… TWO things youve learned about OJ that you probably didnt know before, and probably shouldnt care about after you finish reading lol.

So here is my thought.

If i happen to come up on a rediculious amount of money… companies… holdings… property… all that shit. you know what im definitly going to have?
Hench Men!
yes… thats right. im going to have a team of fucking expendable ass Hench Men, and they will all wear uniforms n shit. there will be a lil ranking system, and all them niggas will refer to me as sir… or maybe Jefe! yea that would crack lol lol.
I am of the belief that if i have worked hard enough to the point where im doing that gotdamn well. i should definitly have OJ Hench Men to execute whatever deeds i might need them to. fuck i dont know. i dont wanna be like Christopher Walken in that movie and be on some sink california shit. or no big ass diabolical ass schemes for world domination or something like that. but you know… if some shit goes down. i want a buncha muthafuckas with guns, ready to protect my intrest… at the expense of themselves. that might seem a bit far fetched, but yea… thats what it should be.

but you know… a nigga like me has a question or two about hench men, and too bad there is really nobody i could ask. but if there was… id have to ask, how much does a hench men budget cost? like im certain there is a pay roll. and do them niggas get health ins? benifits? sick days? vacation?? you know… all the regular job shit. so how much could i plan on spending on my hench men budget for the year?

id also want to know… How is it… that they ( the guy who sees whatever need to have hired all these gotdamn hench men ) have managed to build ELABORATE ASS Lairs………… but nobody knows shit about it being there? like… these spots be in exoctic ass locations. yet no muthafuckin body SAW it BEING BUILT? how the fuck do you pull that off? i hate people being all in my gotdamn business, and im pretty good at keeping they asses out, but this is something im more than certain i couldnt pull off. but dammit… im willing to sit and take a tip or 8, because i just dont understand. im sure somebodies contruction worker some where opened his mouth about what he was working on in the middle of fucking no where. like yea man… we are building this big ass spot on this island over there… it has trains, expensive ass computer equipment, a big ass ray gun n shit. there is some shit going on over there. usually… nobody knows shit. the people on the other islands just know you cant go over there n shit. what kinda shit is that?
So how DO you build an elaborate spot, run by all these gotdamn hench men, that seemingly never wonder off to the main land… or town or whatever the fuck to enjoy themselves.

ive also never seen a hench men relaxation facility. do you me an to tell me its all work all the time for hench men?

How does one become a hench men? i mean… these people have families n shit. nobody knows shit? the family of these hench men never ask…. so… how was work today? shoot at any international spies? get beat up by any?

How is it… that there is NEVER a hench men leak of information? you ever notice that Hench Men never snitch?

Why do they always fall for the… “hey you! stop!” trick? or “did you hear that? it came from over there” trick.

i suppose hench men are hench men, because they are dumb as fuck.

but that means… if these muthafukas are so gotdamn dumb… they arent reliable. and if you are surrounded by a buncha dumb fuck hench men… no wonder muthafuckas plans for world domination or whatever the fuck, always fucking falls thru.

but still… i aspire to have hench men. them niggas is gonna wear jump suits n shit… with some kinda big ass OJ Corp logo on the back or something lol. its gonna be great.

but actually… i dont know. if it cost too much for payroll for quality hench men… i mean… i cant be around a buncha idiots lol. i might just skip out on the whole shit. but maybe i can deal with idiot ass hench men… who never figure out they dont have any dental or some shit lol…. i mean fuck… if they are dumb… why the fuck imma pay for dental and vision n shit? lol
but with that… id always be kinda nervious in the back of my head… thinking.. ok. what if some body trys to roll up on me. and there is a big ass gun fight. and my hench men ( with my luck ) start re-evaluating their job n shit. Throw down their guns and flee the scene, on some… fuck this, it aint worth it. this nigga wont even pay for us health ins! he can kiss my ass!
lol

alright thats it for me. are you not entertained? lol

gotta get back to work.

… well… its May again. so its a nigga birthday month. all things great that happen in may lead up to a final climatic moment where every one comes together and celerbrate the day i was born on. usually they do it on memorial day and just dont know about it lol.

but anyway… i remember one of the reasons i started this blogger, was that it was to server as an OJ updater, for the people i know who ask me ( please see title ). i could just link them to to my blogger and wouldnt have to explain. because really if you ask me… anybody on my buddy list can attest to this… the only answer you will get from me is “Shit…”. lol what can i say… im not big on letting people know whats going on with me when they ask for whatever reason lol. i cant help it. ive always been bad with that. i could have had the most adventurious ass day, and the only thing you will get from me when you hit me up is “Shit… nigga was running the streets today, you know” i honestly dont know what my problem is. maybe one day ill figure it out.

Anyway… back to this thing. so yea… its suppose to serve as a OJ newsletter of sorts, but it really hasnt been that at all. turns out im a pretty private person lol. and im really not into letting people know whats going on in my life unless i tell them personally. so i can keep track of who knows what, and if you know something about me that i didnt tell you, i usually can guess who the fuck told you. lol thats real shit. ive always been real private tho. i dont like to share my feelings, i dont like to give updates on my life, i dont like for people to “read me”, i dont like for people to know what im thinking. i have a few surface level reasons why this is. but whatever is lying under that… i couldnt tell you what those reasons are.

But lets see…. Whats up with me? i dont know where to begin…

oh ok… i decided to cut back on my smoking (which means i might have to step up my drinking! lol) because im starting to build up a lil bit of a tolerance. and i figure, ehh i dont need to smoke so much. ill just go back to smoking on the weekends, and maybe ill skip a weekend or two. no big deal, i do it all the time, i usually just dont annouce the shit lol. so yea… im cutting back, because ive built up tolerance and i have to smoke more to be as blowed as i usually get when i smoke. i figure, thats a fucking waste of good weed lol. and alot of times i just smoke to smoke. no real purpose. so fuck it. imma cut back. lets see… the last time i smoked was monday april the 25th, and i wasnt really all that blowed. so then i decided to take a break… no i just smoked just yesterday on may the 7th. and oh boy i was blowed. so the cutting back is working. dont know when the next time ill smoke.

ummm what else?

im going to attempt to organize my music, all 60+ gigs worth. i put that shit in itunes and i got all kinds of different artist and genres n shit… its out of control. i aspire to get a 60 gig ipod photo ( although a 40 gig will do just fine… i did mention my birthday was coming up right? lol ). and i cant have my music all fucked up. i figure it will take a nigga a lil over a month of slowly pecking at it.. deleting shit, moving shit to get it all right… but we will see. i think mainly what im trying to organize is the albums and albums and albums of shit i have, along with a couple of collections i have, like the Waxxon collection and what not.
but man, i used to not want an ipod, i had no real use for one. because i have a mp3 disc player in my car. and i dont take public transportation, i dont fly alot, i work at home. id listen to it in the car, but i wasnt really gonna have all them wires all over my shit, and have to switch songs from the ipod, that shit just wasnt practical enough for me. that was until alpine and pioneer ( just recently ) came out with a nifty lil cable that you hook up to your car deck, to your ipod that will not only charge your ipod when you plug it up to it, but your car deck will read your ipod as a cd changer… a big ass cd changer!!! woooooo! thats what it is!!! it seperates your shit just like a ipod… genre, artist, album, playlist. you can suffle the shit and all that. it cracks! so now… i see a reason to have an ipod, especially since that bitch comes in color now, AND im trying to get my work out on, so i can take that bitch from the car to the gym right back to the car!! no more buring mp3 disc for the car, although it was better than trying to fit 15 songs on a cdr. i can get like 8 or so albums on one data disc now. but fuck that, if i could have a buncha music on one ipod. thats whasup! so yea… im trying to fix my music so i dont have 8 different Notorious B.I.G listings under artist lol. people who use itunes know what im talkin about. i gotta fix my albums so they list the songs in order too. i cant stand playing songs out of order on a album.

alright enough about that… what else is new?

i just got back from DC/Virgina. i had a real good time. i got to kick it with Hassan and Leon them two niggas are halarious! i got to see my aunt that i havent seen since i was like 13 n shit. she taught me how to ride a motorcycle! i been wanting to learn how to ride for a min now. i have a project going on that is gonna require that i know a lil bit about bikes, so this really cracked. but man, i know how i am on a bicycle. and i know how i am in a car… i can only imagine me on a motorcyle lol. shits gonna be GREAT!!! providing i dont hit shit or fall lol. anyway… back to my trip. lucky for me it wasnt all that cold. because i would have probably fucking died. Resha was my offical DC/Virgina tour guide and i kicked it with her the whole time i was there. she showed a nigga a great time. i dont think ive thanked her enough for everything. but then again… honestly i suck at thank you’s. i cant remember how many ungreatful muthafuckas ive been over the years lol. but really that dont be the case. maybe i just be too wraped up in my good time or the kind guesture or some shit, i dont know. i remember one xmas ( when i used to celerbrate that bullshit ) me and my sister got our toys taken away from us…. THAT MORNING because we never said thank you to our parents about some shit… not for the presents but something else they had did for us. and thats when i found out there was no santa claus lol. i was like 6 or 7 or some shit lol. thats a whole different story tho. Anyway lol. Resha showed me a great time, and i thank her for everything. Shes great…. when she wanna be lol. But my assment of the DC/Virgina area? nigga its GREEN than a muthafucka. i dont know if i was sick from all the damn pinkos that was on my fucking plane or if my body was on some war of the world shit, but i couldnt breathe when i was out there. and i dont have allergies! it could have been too much fresh air and not enough smog lol. i dont know. i think i was just sick tho. because i coudnt breathe when i got home either lol. but umm if you go to DC, go with a purpose. dont go just to go lol. if i didnt have a real reason for being out there… i would have been mad lol. but like i said… it was great, i had a great ass time.

lets see… i saw spanglish on the way home on the plane… good movie, worth a watch. once.

i saw whoopie on broadway the other day… gutty shit. it wasnt a regular stand up. but it was funny as fuck.

like i said tho… its May, and this is a niggas birthday month, but its gotten off to a fucked up ass start. for more reasons that ill actually name. lol a nigga is private like that.

1 reason tho, i was hit with a diesel truck of reality, with two trailers of truth. and i dont know how to handle that shit. i got to see first hand how i am in other peoples eyes. and i didnt like what i saw. and that fucked me up so bad, to where ive been calling people that i can think of that ive been like this to, and ive been aplogizing. basiclly… i can be real unpleasant to be around sometimes. when i dont have to be. like a nigga will be annoyed at lil shit, or constantly irritated, or just in a bad mood. and its not that i dont have a reason to be in a bad mood. and its not that i take it out on other people ( although i used to, and will do unintentially sometimes, but i always atone for that when i realize it ). but you know… it kinda makes other people feel kinda fucked up, or brings the mood down. you know? while my argument is… well look, im not mad at you, but im mad… yes. but im not pissed at you or taking it out on you… whats the fucking problem? to me… really there is none. but now… i see that there is… i see what it is… and i see what people have been trying to tell me. actually, only two people i can think of off hand right now… Sylvia and John ( maybe ). i know how i am… i mentioned it… i dont say whats on my mind. and i wont say why im mad. so alot of times i make people feel like its them. and that aint right, … mainly because its not them lol. but i realize that if they dont know, they are going to feel responsible. because they care. so i guess, if they care enough to feel responsible, i should suck it up… and open my mouth and at least explain why im pissed. i dont have this whole thing figured out, but i do know that ive been unpleasent to be around for a long time. and i wonder how i have any gotdamn friends right now. but im thankful that i do, and im thankful for the people that put up with me, and im really sorry to anybody that ive made feel like they was a problem or anything along those lines. shit sucks…

speaking of shit sucking tho… lol. sigh… on fucking thrusday, my gotdamn transmission went out on my car. fucking shit! this means alot of things. mainly that any birthday celerbration i had planned for myself, is going to be considerably downscaled because i have a foreign car ( 90 infiniti Q45… with a boomin system! lol but now the muthafucka wont move). so its gonna run me over 1k to fix im sure. for a min i was considering saying fuck it and just get a new car. actually i still dont know. i cant afford a new car or some payments right now. im pretty used to not having any payments at all lol. its hard to go back once them shits is gone! gotdamn. not only am i car-less. but i am faced with a few issues. one being… how imma go see my mamma tomorrow for mothers day? im looking at her gift right here, and i cant get it to her. this is going to suck. another thing is… im the kind of person that needs to have options in every single situation im in lol. i work from home… so i rarely have to leave the house… shit some times i dont like to. but i have a car and i can leave and just bounce anytime i want. im pretty spontaious like that… so options is a good thing. i have no options now… and im DESPERATLY trying to hold on to my sanity. but im worried lol. last time i was in this situation. i didnt hold on to my sanity so well. like… i really went crazy. i couldnt go no where, i couldnt do shit. i was stuck at the house on COUNTLESS weekends.. gotdamn. this was when i was living down the street from where im at now. and i didnt have NO friends out here, i didnt know shit about out here. i couldnt go play basketball… i couldnt go hang out… i couldnt do shit. i was standed! my family and close friends all live 70 miles away from me. it was hell. and i am faced with that same hell once again. i have a few friends out here, but i dont kick it with them all the time. sigh… i have no release. i dont know what imma do. this shit is really bothering a nigga. ill figure out something tho. i dont think i can stand to loose it again lol. im trying not to sit around and feel sorry for myself. but damimt its hard! i hate this shit!

umm… i have a pile of work im super behind on.

ive been glued to the tv watching the playoffs and sportscenter. im mad houston lost. i wont talk about my lakers to anybody that aint a laker fan. and anybody who got something foul to say can kiss my black ass after a watery shit! bitches!

anyway… i hear birds cherping out this bitch… May isnt starting off great at all. but hopefully it will get better. im optimistic. or at least im trying to be. i refuse to be negative and unpleasent like appearently i have been for so long. its a new day! lol.

or it will be to me after i wake back up in like 7 hours lol. although technically its mothers day! So happy mothers day to all the Mommys who happen to be reading this. id name some of the ones i know. but i cant handle a senstive ass girl right now talkin about you forgot me or some shit. lol lol id fuck around and brutilize somebodies feelings on their special day n shit lol.

see how long this shit was?

this is why i never say whats really up. it always turns into a long bullshit lol. a nigga like me is busy, i dont have time for all that. shit… i really didnt have time to type this shit out as it is lol.