July 2004 - Uhmah Park

This shit here is the guts

the music playing made this shit hella funny to me.
that and the fact that the audience didnt realize that big ass whale was trying to eat dude till he kept trying to jonna his ass.

but honestly… thats pinkos for you… this big ass muthafuckin whale just tried to fuck him up… and when the mad whale runs out of fuckin energy… the muhfucka gonna pet him like “awwww its ok. i know we be goin thru it some times, but we gone work it out…. ” lol lil do he know, that whale was on some…. nigga im still hungry… when i catch my second wind… imma eat yo punk ass lol

dude should have tried to sock that big muthafucka in the eye lol. like back up off me homie!!
aint no way lol

at the end muthafuckas started clappin n shit lol for what? lol because he didnt get eaten? lol i swear lol.
congradulations on managing to some how NOT ending up as whale shit. although… if you wouldnt have had your punk ass in the got damn tank with an animal 90 times your size… this could have all been avoided! way to fuckin go, balding guy.

hes lucky he didnt catch that cold seal manuvier when they be smackin them muthafuckas out the water with thier tales…. lmao that shit is the funniest shit to see… them seals be trying they DAMDEST to get away… and they get snatched up by them killer whales… and then TENDERIZED! they be smackin they ass 40 feet out the water n shit… the seals be doing all kinda summersalts in the air and hittin the water HELLA hard lol. if that whale would have bruted that muthafucka out the tank and into the stand some where… i think i would have pissed on my self.

but yea man… whales make me nervious… do you realize how big a fucking whale is?!
gotdamn… i swear if i was ever in the ocean and one just swam by me, id bitch right the fuck up. id damn near feel better if i was in the water with a shark. a shark might fuck around and end up dinner fuckin around with me… shark is good as fuck lol. but fuck… whales are muthafuckin huge!!! and can have thier way with you.. and you cant do shit about it at ALL… all you can do is pray for your life… and beg for mercy lol. if that dont work… youre just assed out on several levels.
i cant type this shit no more… whales really make me fuckin nervious lol.
not PICTURES of whales. or a whale in a costume…
im talkin about the actual creature in the sea… ive never seen one. and im really cool on being hella close to one lol.


Sleep if you dare / But death catch niggas when they sleep!

if a muthafucka can tell me what song that line there is from.
ill get you blowed (drunk or high or both lol) and i say that because… aint no way in the hell you can NOT be from LA and get that shit lol. so im confident im safe. but if some asshole in salt lake city gets it right… well you can hang that shit up. i hate utah, more than i do texas… fuck utah, and all thier sports teams. lol
i actually only know two niggas that MIGHT get it. BMG and Dell (who ill talk about later.)

But yea…
dont you hate when your stuck driving, its late as fuck and youre sleepy as fuck… and your passenger is blacked out… sleep like a muthafucka… and you are basically alone on the road, tired, trying not to fall asleep. yet this dick head next to you is blacked smooth the fuck out, resting comfortably… while youre strugling to get yall both to the given destination with out falling asleep behind the wheel. this shit here definitly goes on the top 50 worst things to go through ever.

me personally, i cant stand the shit. some people are ok with this… some people hate it. i cant fuckin stand it… thats why im looking for a disignated driver ( still accepting applications by the way lol. but practically speaking, applicants should probably reside in the valley some where lol ).

and if you know me… or read this blogger fairly often (which doesnt mean you know me by the way)… it shouldnt surprise you that i am NOT above employing flagrantly fucked up ass tatics to make sure that, when im driving… aint NObody going to sleep lol. fuck that… i hate that shit lol. i do realize that some people might find this a bit selfish on my behalf. but you people can really kiss my black ass and not ever jump the fuck in my gotdamn car, or any car im driving.

but fuck that… im driving and the passengers in the car… we are in this together! im not anybodies personal driver! fuck that. when i drive… everybody has to listen to what im listening to… at which ever volume i so choose (i am considerate sometimes. and to people on thier phone). if im rolling with no AC… then you gotta fuckin tuff it out. i got all you muthafuckas lives in my gotdamn hands… i should be the muthafucka accomadated! and thats what cracks lol. fuck you and your slumber! its about ME and ME driving!
Alternetivly however… i refuse to extend these same accomodations to those that apply for that designated driver pos. before anybody screams “oh thats fucked up!” remember ALL the amenities that come along with the position. its a position! lol

Anyway. So… here are some tatics that you can use to make sure you have company on the ride home… and not some comatose inconsiderate asshole riding shotgun. ive done this shit several times. it works… lol i promise

1. Get off the freeway at some random ass spot for no reason – this works most of the time. for whatever reason, when the car a sleep person is riding in, gets off the freeway… this sleep person wakes up. i have no clue why this is. not everybody wakes up… but alot of times people will wake up. its werid. to take it a step further… when you get off on your random ass spot. and your slumbered shotgun mate wakes they punk ass up and ask you “why we gettin off?” or “where are we” look over at them with a really blank stare and say: “…. hm. i dont know??” LMAO this will wake the sleepy head up because they will have to wake up more to assess the situation properly and ask you again like “WHAT?!? you dont know?? what the fuck is wrong with you!?”
lol you can go countless ways with this shit. its the guts really. and if youre good at keeping a straight face… you can basically laugh about the shit all the way back home lol.
i remember one time i was on some “uhh…. i dont know? i guess i should get back on the freeway… i just figured it was a good place to get off the freeway. you know?” LOL shit was the guts

2. Swerve! lol this is really a VERY FUCKED UP WAY to wake up lmao. gotdamn… muthafuckas be PISSED when they find out, that you swerved for no reason lmao. gotdamn… i made that mistake once. i swerved real bad, and the homie woke up like WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?! OH SHIT WERE GOING TO FUCKING DIE!!! then when he saw me over there laughin like a muthafucka, realized i did that shit on purpose lol… i got cussed out. but honestly… that just made the shit more funny… and that shit woke me back up and kept me laughin all the way home.
i suggest if you decide to go with the swerve tatic… LIE! be like… “yo! there was a goat in the middle of the highway dogg! i almost hit that muthafucka!” and really… depending on how sleep your passenger is (and how straight of a face you can keep) you can pull this off until they wake all the way up and try to figure out how a gotdamn GOAT possibly found its way onto the fucking freeway lol (actually… now that i think about this… i guess the probability depends on where you live lol). or… if youre rolling with a dumb muthafucka… this shit will keep them guessing all the way home lol.

3. Roll down ALL the windows. lol this is just fucked up and cruel lol. it also might cause you some discomfort lol. but it works lol.

4. Play something SUPER WACK lol. depending on who you are riding with… they will wake up super irritated lol. i know if i ever woke up to some master p act a fool or some other no limit bullshit ( that wasnt by snoop or ‘how you do dat dere’) id wake up cussin like a muthafucka.

there is other shit i do… but i honestly cant remember. a nigga is sleepy. im fucking drained. im tired in every form possible right now. with no signs of releif no where in site, sigh… well, maybe this weekend i MIGHT get some sleep. lets hope. shit… while we are hoping for shit to happen. lets hope that i dont have endure any more bullshit this week either… fuck. monday alone kicked me straight in the ass. and i havent gotten up yet.

anyway…

this entry was inspired by dell.
No… not the computer company with the sometimes gutty commercials. but the homie Dell… Wendell aka BruthaDub. he too has a blogger on this site located at http://coldbiz.five27.com. this nigga is the guts lol.
that jesus walks shit had me rollin lol.


Its showtime yall…

my cousin, and bestfriend… JD, has decided to enter the blogger world. and he is kicking off his shit with a Rebuttle ( rebuzzal, as he calls it ) to the bumble bee story.
The shit is pretty fuckin halarious. lol

but before you read that shit… id like to fucking point out… about the dude gettin his head cut off… i was NOT laughin at him getting his head cut off… i was laughin at the dude reading the note, and how he just caught an attitude all of a sudden… like AAHHH IM SO MAD MAN!!! I COULD JUST CUT A MUTHAFUCKA HEAD OFF!!! he pulled out his shank… and started hackin at dude head… shit was nasty. but i was laughin at ol boy gettin mad n shit… not the man having his shit cut off… that was some nasty shit.

anyway… for anybody tho laughs at me, and thinks im funny. i promise jd is 10 times funnier than i am. this nigga has damn near made me suffocate from laughter MORE than 20 times my whole life. like i had to run from the nigga so i could stop laughin. and the nigga is fucked up too… i remember one time in the 10th grade… this nigga tried to make me laugh so hard that id piss on my self… but the fucked up part? WE WAS IN HISTORY CLASS!!!!! the nigga had me cryin laughin, in the back of the class… and i fucked up and was like… nigga shit up… imma fuck around and piss on my self… my legs was all crossed n shit… this nigga didnt giva FUCK either… i tried to hit the nigga to make him stop… the nigga got up and moved to another chair and kept talkin shit!!! i almost had a serious ass accident in the fuckin class room. i think i ended up just running out the class to go piss… or demanded a bathroom pass or some shit. lol it was terrible… the nigga aint right tho.

anyway… enough about that shit….

the link to jd blog: http://chiefcrazybluntz.five27.com

oh… and lastly. for whatever reason… jd tells the most BELIEVABLE lies… them shits will have you second guessing your own good common sense. its werid. thats why we call him “The Truth”. ive heard this nigga say some straight bullshit and people buy that shit with thier LAST fuckin dollar lmao. its unbelieveable to witness… i have more stories than a lil bit.

but yea… enjoy yourselves!


Today i was shown a picture of a black kid that looked very familiar to the Dad from that cartoon Family Guy. that shit was beyond funny.

California is en feguo again. this is some true bullshit.

The Michlen Man, have you ever looked at him? do you realize that he is made up of tires? have you ever peeped his color out? The Michlen Man is fucking white… but tires is black! Everywhere around the world… tires is fuckin black! what the fuck? lol i mean… i really do hate to scream racism here… but honestly… what else could it be?

i heard a pretty decent concept the other day… Prevenge! Prevenge… meaning revenge before you are done wrong. like… if you dont like a nigga… when you see him, you take off on his ass… like POW NIGGA!!! before he even get at you first! lol it goes down.

Nirvana used to get muthafuckin live. so are the White Stripes… they get so busy. thier preformance on the mtv awards of seven nation army and… that other song on thier last album, im too blowed to remember, was crackin.

That R. Kelly track… Happy People. this nigga is giving dancing directions on the end of that shit. Old muthafuckas LOVE this shit.. they be stepin or whatever the fuck. that shit is the fucking Hokey Pokey for niggas over 35. its sad to see old ass niggas doing a grown up version of the hokey pokey. but its like… oh well. if they werent, id have nothing to laugh at. Because the shit is truely gutty.

I love the 90’s is the fucking GUTS!!! gotdamn… i love this shit. lol i love how they got that old school toaster screen saver! i used to love that shit for whatever reason. and while we are talking about this shit, was Rico Suave a rap artist?!!?!? wow… a rapper with tight jeans… boots… long hair… little jacket??!? lol gutty shit. i dont know why i never realized how funny this shit was before lol gotdamn

Fantasic Four…. Fab Five? whats keeping muthafuckas from switching this up? Fab Four… Fantasitic Five? makes sense to me! but then again… i got down with some greenery rituals earlier… so, my judgement may be a bit distorted and otherwise skewed like a muthafucka. lol

Maybe im cruel… but that diary queen commercial… where the lady didnt wanna give up her DQ latte… so she got up and tried to run… and hit door unsuspectedly. gotdamn!!! that shit damn near killed me. when people hit shit unsuspectedly, is the funniest shit to me. woooo shit!

Dont you hate when youre talkin to somebody on thier cell phone and your signal drops… but you try to call back. and the other person is STILL talkin on the phone… and when you call back, there shit is busy or you got straight to thier voicemail. like 8 times in a row?!?!? i hate that shit!!! MUTHAFUCKA HANG UP THE PHONE!!! lol my dad does that shit all the time… and so do a couple of other people i know. lol that shit is annoying lol.

Enzyte. dick enlarger… it sounds like you have to take this shit regularly… or am i trippin? so that makes me wonder… how long do you have to take it for? and how long does your natural male enhancment last, if you did happen to get your free samples while supplies last? not that i need it or n shit… im just curious on how the shit works. this must be some shameful shit to buy for your self lol. gotdamn.


yummy.

Im a male, I love women. I often talk about women with my friends and other males. This scoring system was developed from common factors that Ive heard males from every walk of life. All the special conditions and circumstances. All the points of views, needs and wants of guys every where have been packed and considered in this rating system. If you can find a hole in this system. I dont care. As far as Im concerned, this is the best thing there is and should be used often. Especially on the internet.

The Man League Scoring System is a system that was created for Men to score Women’s physical beauty, from face to feet. hair, eyes, hands, body, feet, legs, lips, teeth all that; as well as how she dresses, or has on at the moment. that shit hella maters! i promise! No personality traits matter in the Man League Scoring System. You dont need to be the best person in the world to be fine. And you can be the ugliest bitch on 2 feet, yet be the greatest person in the world. Things like this should never affect the “Score” of a woman’s physical beauty. I know a couple of guys that try, so thats why it has to be made clear. Only physical/visible attributes are considered.

Yes… i do muthafuckin realize that this could be considered (is) objectifing women just a tad bit (a lot). but to that i say…  SO?! i could honestly give exactly, 5 flying fucks! ive seen females do that shit to dudes more than often. so hey, if you wanna be on that “oh youre objectifying women” shit, kiss my black ass.

So why an offical rating system?
Well, my cousin and i were sitting around one day, waiting on some girl for some bullshit. While waiting around, we were checkin out the girls walkin by and what not;  rating them with the classic numbers. like oh yea, shes a 7. Shes an 8. yap yap yap. then i had a notion. too often, females are given a way higher number than they TRUELY deserve. so yes, call me a kill joy, because i think some of these girls need to know where they truely are; because their attitudes dont reflect thier true rating lol.
Before i get into this, i must also note, its called “League” and “Scoring” because most dudes relate most things to sports. so it cracks. get wit it!

The MLSS, is the rating (“score”) of any given female, with a score ranging between 1 and 100. yes, thats right, plenty of space to place everybody in. Those of you who may happen to share my view point on things; are saying yo your selves “Well damn… some where, some how, some bitch out there is a 1!” LMAO!!! YES! thats about the size of it! and gotdamn i bet she is beyond destitute and depleated of any eye pleasing qualities a muthafucka could possibly possess. gotdamn. lol. yea, thats about the size of it (as my dad often says lol). Actually, now that i think about it. i know of a girl who is a fuckin 4 at best. Errin knows who im talking about. LMAO!!!! gotdamn that muthafucka is beastly!!! she looks like the unholy marriage of a sleestack, an actual troll, and a muthafuckin robot! i swear! the girl is stomach turning ugly. and dont be drunk around her, because fuck; its REAL hard to keep it together and not say no flagrantly foul shit lmao. I was for me, on 3 different occasions.

So here is where we will go over the numbers of this rating system. and what it means. let’s start at the top.

100 – 80: this is usually reserved for celebrities and athlete wives, celebrity wives, and girls that will probably pay you any mind and if they did, you would be REALLY surprised. No matter how tough you think your “swag” is, if Halle Berry was showing you  any attention, you would be in disbelief. if you can pull a female who is pulling off anything between 80 to 100, youre fucking winning. Everybody you know would probably fuck your girl given the opportunity; or if there were circumstances where he could, he would, with out a second thought. Such as: if you wasnt with the girl; or maybe if yall wasnt as cool as yall are, thats your boy and what not, you just cant do it to him; if she would even look your way lol; if she was willing to cheat on the dude she has (that you dont know); you know, shit like that. anybody who is rated an 80+ is certified fine. there aint too many people on this planet that look better than them.

79 – 70: this means the girl basically above average. WHICH IS GREAT AND NOT BAD! This woman is still beautiful. However, you DO have “really above average”; “better than just above average”; and “above average”. This is why 2 above average females could be a 71 or a 78. There is usually alot of debate in this range because there is a difference in these areas. ask any guy, he knows. the girl who is a 71, she is almost dippin into the 60’s range, but not really. like if she didnt have ass, she would be a sixty somethin; something like that. but a girl who is pushing that 78 is still beautiful and DAMN near hella fine, its just something is missing or she got something wrong with her physically, like she got a big ass muthafuckin head or something (something you could get over, most times, and really not even mention; just think in the back of your head some where lol). or maybe shes really fine but she got small tittys or no hips and ass or something. Maybe she has a great body but has an ugly smile. Or maybe should could stand to lose a few pounds. Little shallow shit like that. Things that guys talk about, but never stops (any straight man) from fuckin and being happy with this girl. this girl is still beautiful than a muhfucka. Just nothing SUPER special, like a celebrity or something similar. but she still looks good as hell. a girl in the 70’s, every dudewould be happy with her. and honestly every guy HOPES to get a girl that is around this range lol.

69 – 60: well… here is where things get kinda touchy. now a girl who is in the 60’s range, AINT BAD. aint bad at all. just average. like SUPER average. like if a dude had sex with a girl who is pushin somethin in the 60 range, he aint gonna be mad; but clearly, he can do better! depending on the dude of course lol. some dudes…… well, couldnt pulll anything over a 61, if they wanted to; that would be doing good for them lol, if you know what im saying. i suppose there could be a Womans League Scoring System, or some other varatoin, in which dudes are rated and what not. so you know lol, anyway; this girl aint terrible. but she aint greater than great. things could be better; things could be worse lol. so 60’s aint nothing to really be ashamed of, just know where you are lol; and know what youre upagainst lol, thats all im saying.  You might have to take a couple of extra steps to keep that dude in your life lol lol lol. wooo. moving on.

59 – 50: ha! welcome to the start of a rapid decline! if you can buss a 50 something (as a women), you can definitly buss something way lower lol. if youre in the 50 range. well shit, you just aint the best lookin muhfucka. and youre pushing the ugly line. (44 unoffically). Guys, if youre fuckin with a 50, you might not want to admit that shit to just anybody lol. Maybe only the homies, otherwise, it just doesnt crack. you might get talked about lol. you might not, some dudes would say “well yea… i woulda cut too…”; but sadly everybody cant be that honest. lol these girls usually aint too fly in the face but got something tangable to get you going. Such as, if you like ass abd she got cake! or if you are into titties and she got a cold rack. But, there is generally something wrong with this girl physically or she dresses fucked up or she got a bad weeve lol, fucked up teeth, something. so yea, some dudes wont even DIP into the 50’s.
UNLESS (of course there is an unless!) there is at least ONE special condition! yes, The Special Condition, will get some damn near ugly girl dick she wouldnt normally have the benifit of getting. but for whatever reason, some guy is high, drunk, bored, in the middle of an ass drought, or STUPID horny for some dumb ass reason (like post strip club lol). and if you didnt think bordum will have some dude, fuckin some suspect lookin girl… THINK AGAIN! especially if that man is hella trifflin like that. its a mystery that no one will ever be able to explain. its just a fact holmes.

49-40: and we’re still sliding and well within Ugly range. we have gone with an explaination as low as 40 because, as stated earlier, we need some room to give the many different ranges of females, the appropriate amount of space. so ok, the 40’s range. half of these girls aint ugly. but theyre fucking pushing it. and the other half are indeed ugly (44 and below). and it could be whatever somebody finds ugly, thats just what it is lol. they are what they are. some dudes WILL NOT dip in this area under NO circumstances.
but some dudes (yes… the trifflin train is speeding toward you rapidly!) they have to have AT LEAST a couple of special conditions! Such as:  “i was drunk and bored. so… fuck it. yea, i did it.” If you fuck around and find your self doing some shit like this, normally you only tell your closest friends lol. And maybe not even them.
Or maybe your explaination is something super extrme. Such as: “man… i smoked, went to the club got drunk as fuck… i was still blowed. we went to the strip club, and afterwards… i was up… she was up…. wasnt shit on tv… i was still fucked up… i aint had no ass in a cool min…i got a lap dance earlier… and shit… fuck it. i couldnt help my gotdamn self!!”
lmao!! yes, it could be anywhere from two special conditions, or up to every special condition (some how some way, but trust me. it happens! it happens to the best of us!  lol). youre dirty dickin it, but hey, sometimes… shit, it happens lol.

30 to 1: This is just jokes. you fuck somebody in this area; youre getting talked about, BAD! BAD BAD! these are the muthafuckas that make niggas say shit like “you look like a hungarian battle chicken” (credit JD). or “moon cricket” (credit JD). niggas that fuck with below 30’s, would also fuck a yak or a goat or some shit. i mean fuck, they might as well be, it aint NO muthafuckin better (well, it is… but still!!). these are the mudd ducks. the less than desireables. the all that other shit that is devoid of anything pleasure related.

Thats its for the ratings.

A couple of rules tho. Guys, NEVER never EVER never tell any woman, where you ranked her in the Man League Scoring System. Under no circumstances! only if she is over a 93! and maybe not even then! she will find away to get offended. foreal. if she says she wont, shes fucking lying! and fuck, why take a gotdamn chance?!?! youre better off playing it safe. she WILL get over it. and if she dosent, you probably dont need that draining ass bitch in your life no muthafuckin way! real shit! lol.
Also, NEVER tell a dude the score of his girl. its just best you keep that shit to your self. and you niggas that are married; dont fucking ask. because if i tell you the truth and youre mad. well fuck. if you call the fuckin devil, dont be mad when that muthafucka pick up the gotdamn phone. really!
oh yea! if you plan on lying to some girl about her score? dont do it!!! you will either have not so attractive girl suck on you, who thinks that YOU think she is finer than she really is. So now youve lived to this girl;  now youre in a spot where you dont wanna be in! or in the case of the homie Leon, youre gonna set some girl up to face a firing squad, with big guns and bullets filled with truth and dipped in reality! This would really suck for this girl youve selfishly mislead; and you would be responsible for this girls downtrotten mental state. lol especially if me or jd or rj or d’artist or somebody like that is around lol. it aint gone be pretty. because neither is she and it would have to be spoke on, at some point, out loud, in a humorous manor, with total disregard for said girls feelings. Niggas aint shit lol.
Since this shit is sports related and this scoring system is set up on opinion and opinion only. alot of times, you can take a couple of guys scores and average them out. because every guy dont think the same. like take me for instance. in some circumstances, there is no way a woman is getting over an 80 from me. Some things I refuse to compromise on. Every one has their thing. I certainly have mine. I wont list them, because I know women who will read this a few times to gauge where they are and arent, according to me. I know this, because I had to re-write this entry, sans detailed opinion of what I will and wont do lol.
So yea, my 76 can be another mans 87. just depends on what the guy likes.

With our scoring system, you can take the different “scores” from dude to dude, then average them out; and you have which ever girls average score. And thats what she is according to any given group of males. sometimes, you might have to take a nigga score and adjust that shit some. i have a friend who actually likes him some “heffalumps”. so, of course his score usually comes with some kinda handicap. nothing against him; not really lol. It just be like that sometimes.

so there you have it. The Man League Scoring System (MLSS). now girls can get a very accurate rating and guys can give other dudes the skinny on a girl with a reliable system that makes sense.

there it is!

Yea, im waiting on the “OJ, youre so fucked up” blah blah blah blah shit. dah! blow it out your fricken pie hole! i dont give a fuck, honestly. oh yea, lets not forget the “youre not that cute anyway… why you talkin shit?!!?”, my answer? bitch because i can. fuck you! if i looked like you (10 out 10 times a girl who says something alonge these lines is lacking through and through)… id still talk shit. now what?

Go forth! Spread the word! This system has been used by my friends and associates and it works. It works for males every where. These are simple guidelines that every male can relate to and understand. And as a male, if you cant, something is wrong with you. I promise you that. Even gay guys can use this system. For women and men a like!

Lastly I would like to say thank you to everybody that applied to be my designated driver. We are still accepting applications. lol nothing against the current applicants at all. but we want to give everybody a chance to apply lol.

Before i get end this, speaking of blowed, JD (star of the world famous bumble bee story) has created a blogger on this site. when i get that nigga the info he needs, ill link it and you can enjoy the shit he has to say; which will actually include a rebuttle to the bumble bee story (yes lol). i cant really comprehend how he could possibly have a fucking rebuttle. but according to him he does.

 


How can you tell you had a good ass weekend?
when you get in your bed… sunday night / monday morning… and you can not remember what in the hell you did on friday night. like it will takes you a good 3 minutes to remember what happen. and you will damn near relive the whole night when you do remember… like OH YEA!

and lucky for me… i remember what happen friday! ha! my memory isnt that shot to shit yet.

Friday – Keisha (spelled her name wrong) had a birthday party midnight bowl thing over in torrance. Calvins younger sister Che is out in LA for some weeks, so i invited her to come along. she had a nigga lost in brentwood for a second ( OJ… rolling around in brentwood again. but with no bronco, no knife, no bloodly glove and most importantly, no white girl. lol ). Thinking back… Che probably thinks im a lil bit strange because i was playing public enemy loud as hell for a good portion of the night lol. oh well lol. Anyway… i left my credit card at home and i refused to borrow any money. so i drove my black ass all the way from torrance, back to porter ranch (northridge) To get my gotdamn card.
we get back to the bowling alley like… a hour and some minutes later… and i find out that drinks there are SUPER cheap! i ordered a mai tai for peta gay… a kamakazi shot for Che, and a long island for me… and that shit came up to 13 bucks! it was beautiful! i wanted to cry!
by the time i got to bowl i was pretty toasted. and i couldnt bowl ONE strike or spare for shit. i was pissed lol. but we had fun none the less. Me and Che was crackin jokes in the parking lot. waiting for Deartist (spelled his name wrong too) and Drew to come the fuck on lol. We will be launching the Wonder Weeve band of weeve sometime soon lol. and the big tittie girl that deartist was talking to will be our spokes woman LOL .

Saturday – i was in fontana for my moms surprise party that my sister and dad planned out. i was blowed for most of the day lol. come party time… my mom didnt know shit from shit… everybody was there… she was totally surprised. it was great…. i have pictures. i was soooo damn drunk and soooo damn blowed. i enjoyed my self.
i dont know what it is about my moms birthday parties… but im always REAL fucked up at them shits lol. but my mom wouldnt have it any other way! lol. my mom endorses inebriation. its great lol. her last party though… my sister was HEEVING in her own trash can… that shit is gross lol. my sister is a heever lol. anyway… at the party… this older lady was hitting on my and my cousin and the neighbor… shit was halarious lol. i think she was half way serious tho lol. like if one of us would have been down for the get down… she would have been wit it! but ehhh… didnt crack like that, so it dont matter lol. the party was fuckin fun tho… we all had a good ass time.

Sunday – me and my sister got our bbq hop on! it was great! first we went to Erics parents house… they were having a lil get together… i was blowed when i got there. they had some good ass macoroni and cheese, potato salad, and bbq chicken (a nigga doesnt eat pork or beef) with some good ass bbq sause! then to top it off i downed my first hieken(sp). that shit was nasty really ( i dont like beer ) but jd has been telling me for year. nigga… get you a joint and a heiken are you will be straight. and ill be damned if i wasnt feeling great after that shit…gotdamn! i might have to work that shit into my rotation lol
then from there… we went over brandys house ( and got DRUNK on the way there lol )… now i havent seen brandy in YEARS. this is the girl who is responsible for me being the nasty nigga that i am today lol. me and her brother lonnie used to be best friends, but we had a falling out and we dont talk no more. so i dont see his family all the time like i used to (5+ years lol). i really used to be a extra member of thier household. it was great seeing everybody again. kathy made some GREAT ass pasta salad… and brandy mad some bomb ass potato salad. and then one of brandys friends had salmon! FUCK! that shit was GOOD!
now, im sittin up there drunk and happy… still a lil blowed some how lol. and i dont know… but it seemed like one of brandys friends was trying to get at me. but i didnt think so, because she was clearly gay lol. like she was there with her girl and everything. so, all her passes she made at me, i paid no attention to, till later in the car on the way back to eric house… like ummmm? was brandy friend trying to hit on a nigga? my sister was like ummm yes nigga i do believe so! i almost felt bad for ignoring the fuck out of her. oops.
Next, after i sobered up a lil… we were back at my parents house to re-up on some liquor and take a small smoke break! then… we went back to Eric house and there was a block party going on. a few people i went to highschool with was there… and it was nice to sit around and catch up. found out how everybody was doing n shit. i was great. one of the girls whos house we was in front of… Ebony. i had 11th grade english with her, and she was the Teachers Assistant for the class, she used to grade our papers. we were sitting around talking n shit… and i mentioned something about me not being the greatest speller. and THIS Nigga here was like mmmmmmhhhhmmmmm! i was like GOTDAMN!!!! its been like 7 years! you still remember how fucked up my spelling was from way back then!? “mmmmhhmmm!” i was embarassed! i might have to actually do something about this shit lol. fuck that lol. talkin about “he used to leave out alotta E’s.” that shit was distrubing lol
Anyway… from there… we went back to my parents house and had left overs from the party… i had some more great ass potato salad. more great ass bbq chicken. some more of that great ass birthday cake! and some pie! i was in heaven.
Oh yea… i forgot to mention… after the fucking sun went down. it looked like muthafuckin vietnam/afganistan/iraq out in fontana!!! The fireworks people were letting off were hella loud and bright!! ive NEVER seen that many illegal fire works being left off! i seen some let off RIGHT IN FRONT of the police! and they didnt do SHIT! im thinking to my self… these niggas dont have permits! you cant left off sky bound fireworks in fontana! but these muthafuckas was out here trying to out do each other… the whole sky was lite up where ever you went! Not only did a buncha people have illegal fireworks… but they was crackin them shits off ALL NIGHT LONG. usually people start at 8… end at 9… no… around 11 i was still driving around muthafuckas and they shit! still saw shit being let off in the sky. i couldnt believe it! maybe i was missing something? i dont know. fireworks of every kind are illgal here in LA county lol. i guess something different is crackin off in san bernardino county from the last i used to live out in that bitch. on my way home… from fontana to west covina, the whole freeway was filled with smoke lol. i dont know what it is about white people and gun powder. they lose they fuckin minds. shit… i guess mexicans too… because they was on that same shit lol.

so yea… i am a changed man. from this day out. i will be enthusatic about celerbrating this countries holidays (i still fucking hate christmas tho… dont trip, fuck the dumb!)… as long as a muthafucka some where in bbqin and im invited! i will be making my yearly rounds at muthafuckas gatherings every gotdamn holiday. thats the only time niggas will see my black ass so i get all kinda special treatment and extra food n shit lol.
Whats next? Labor day? ahhh yea! it goes down! imma be talkin to everybody i know two weeks before and plan out me a lil route lol.

but gotdamn… i NEED to employ somebody to drive my black ass around in my car for the whole day too. i had to sober up like 3 times to actually leave from where i was at. that shit sucked lol. my sister got to be drunk as fuck the whole gotdamn day lol. i was jealous!
So here is my offical Ad:
Do you want to have a good ass time? do you wish you had friends who were tons of fun, instead of your boring ass drab friends? would you like to experince some of the good times i write about on this blogger and take pictures of in the photo gallery? Well your time is NOW! a fun new excited oppertunity has presented it self and its ready for YOU to take advantage of! You can be OJ’s designated driver! thats right… this means you will get to be in on all the great times! you will get to be all the pictures… take the some pictures… be apart of the storys and all that! fun fun fun… bbq’s (free food!), parties, clubs (guestlist vip… most of the time FREE!) that could be you! fun fun fun! all you have to have is a valid drivers licence and a be willing to drive to my house so we can depart from here and roll out! you must ALSO have a decent sense of directions and be able to take directions fairly well… applicants who apply that actually have a nice big roomy car… you have more of a chance to roll with me and the rest of the gang! And remember… we do not support drunken drivers on the california streets and highways! so absolutly no alcohol for our applicants! but youll be having so much fun… youre not going to even need alcohol to have a great ass time! fun fun fun! it could be you! and dont forget the fun part! its better than what you got going on now… we promise! fun fun fun! it goes down! apply today!

lol ok im sleepy… im bein stupid lol im blackin out.


This man Bill Cosby is upset at us, Black folk. And honestly i cant say he doesnt have a pretty good reason. He sees us headed for a pretty bad place, at least as far as i can tell, and from the things he is saying… it looks like it pains his soul. he sounds hella fustrated and concerned like any elder should be, when they see thier people in a not-so-great situation.

we are having ( probably bout to have lol ) a pretty good discussion about it on soulcity…

LURK ON! lol. join the board and discussion if you are so inclined. youre more than welcome!