January 2004 - Uhmah Park

OK, i havent been posting lately… because my fucking hand HURTS. only when i grip my mouse tho. I have the same feeling as your ass feels when you been sitting on the ground too long. but yea… its only when i grip the mouse.
Anyway… i have a story to tell.

The year… was 1980 something. It had to be aroud 87, 88 because i was still living in SouthCentral. My family and I were at the beach, enjoying another sunny Californian day, doing the family picnic thing that everybody does at the beach. A young OJ had been playing in the water for a cool minute and thought to his self, “say…. i could really go for a snack!” So he retreats back to the family temporary beach real estate and claims himself a hand full of yummy ass Oreo Cookies! YUM!!With an ear to ear grin, he turns around and starts to head back to the water. Before he could take two steps his watchful Mother stops him in his tracks! “OJ, if you eat you have to wait 30 minutes before you get back in the water” she explains.
“Really? ok mommy!” Young OJ replies, but what the lil nigga was really thinking was, ” FUCK!! Sigh… oh well these shits is GOOD! ”
A real quick background on OJ if you will… i was born in 1979, im 24 now ( 25 in may ) if this story took place in 87, 88 i was either 6, 7 or 8. And YES i was cussin back then. Of course it was a secert lol but yea… ive always had a foul ass mouth. But back to our story!
Obeying his Mother, but stradling the line of obedance, OJ makes his way back to the water. Little hands full of Oreo Cookies, he stops at the shore line to… well… just kick it. Enjoy the water if you will. Standing around, with his Oreos letting the waves die out at his feet. All of a sudden, young OJ thinks to him self, “lets follow the wave as it retreats”. And the next time the waves die out at lil OJ’s feet, he does just that. As he walks out following the wave, lets explore the pyscie of a young ghetto youth, “No harm in following the waves out from which they came right? i mean… i wasnt IN the water… i was just following the water. my mom should trip on that… im not in the water… just like she said. No harm there! Cool!”
So OJ is following the water, still following, still following….. still following. And notices he has been walking for a cool minute, but there isnt any damn water, just sand! It was wet sand, but the real point here is, Where is the water?!?! And that is exactly what OJ was thinking to his self. But after while, he says fuck it, turns around and heads back to shore. With about four Oreos left in his hand and dry land in sight. All of a fucking sudden, out of no muthafuckin where, The Wave Of Certain Doom, BLINDSIDES Young defenseless ass OJ in the back with Extreme Ruthless Aggression! Upon impact the remainding Oreos in OJ hands, shot out. Doing several sumersaults into the ocean. OJ yells out in pain, but is quickly drowned out by the water that has fuckin lured him into a watery okie doek! Rendering him absolutely helpless and at the mercy of the waves. Thank goodness the waves did grant Young OJ mercy and gently droped him back off at the shore. Where he laid, face down… in lots of pain momentarly. But thankfully, still in one peice and here to tell the story to you all today. A Young, embrassed as fuck ass OJ picked his self up, slightly disoriented, thinking to himself… ” oh my back! my back! what in the fuck just happen?”. Leaving his pride right there on the coast line and with his ass hanging out because the wave fucked his whole world up and yanked his shorts down. Poor Young OJ, victimized by the Wave of Certain Doom, whimpered back to his mothers side. Waited his 30 min., on dry fucking land. And went back to the water after that… but never turned his back on the sea again.

Till this day… an adult OJ thinks about that incident every time he picks up an Oreo Cookie.

The End.

lol


Sigh… there is NO football on today.
i dont know what to do.
Sundays seem SO fuckin pointless with out football… its bad enough there is no more Monday Night Football.
Next week is the Super Bowl… but after that… there wont be football for MONTHS!
sigh… i got thru this shit EVERY YEAR. its bad… same shit happens at the end of basketball season. or when the lakers lose in the playoffs. shit sucks….

sigh… i guess i can work on sundays, like i usually do. or… fuck i dont know.

i need something to do! hbo dont even play good movies on sunday. as soon as it gets warm imma start runnin the streets again… like i usually do when its warm. or shit… i guess i can sit in the house and make money on sundays… that always cracks! lol


this muhfucka on sportscenter said,

a comedian ( Steven Wright ) once said:

Stealing one persons idea is pleagurisim, Stealing a buncha peoples idea is research.

I cant express how funny, yet true this is.

He goes on to say:

that same comedian also said…

Experince is something you get just after you need it.

Gutty shit lol.
so true… so true.


I must know a buncha stupid ass people.

Why every time a nigga might be in a bad mood. or just not in the mood to crack a fuckin joke… why do people treat me like imma gotdamn monster. i fucking hate that shit. i am very muthafuckin capable of having a conversation when i aint in the greatest of moods. But all i get is… ” umm you arent acting like your self… im just going to leave you alone. ” that shit irritates me. shit like that be making me wanna delete a muthafucka information out of all my shit.
Maybe what the fuck i need, is for you ( whom ever ) to stop treating me like im the devil himself. And just talk like you intended on doing. if i didnt wanna fuckin talk… i would fuckin SAY SO! im too much of an asshole to be inconvinced when i dont feel like it, BY ANY MUTHAFUCKIN BODY. Anybody that knows me can verify this. Gotdamn that shit irritates me. Maybe whatever in the fuck you had to say might take my mind off the shit thats bothering me… or might give me a reason to cheer the fuck up. fuck… i dont know.

Next muthafucka say that shit to me… im cuttin they ass out my gotdamn life tottally…. fuck that, them and it! i dont give a flyin ass fuck if they read this shit or not. i cant take that shit no more.

And NO, talking out my problems… doesnt fucking work for me. that shit will only piss me off way more than i already was. A muthafucka asking me a BUNCHA fuckin questions about my foul ass mood, trying to come to some type of solution or make me feel better. That bullshit dont work either. thats actually the LAST muthafuckin thing i need to go thru when i dont feel all that great. I fuckin HATE to answer questions, i may ask a bunch… but normally, under most circumstances… i hate to fuckin answer questions. i promise any problem i have… i am beyond your ( whom evers ) help. especially if i dont fuckin come to you with it. or actually tell you what in the hell may be bothering me and then say ” dont worry about it”. Man DROP that shit homie… youre only gonna make shit worse by asking dumb ass questions. and offering even dumber ass solutions. Throughout my whole fucking life… ive only been offered less than fuckin FIVE solutions that actually made sense. THE ODDS AINT IN YOUR FUCKIN FAVOR!

imma reasonable muthafucka… i understand sometimes people are just trying to help and they care so they want to offer up a plate of feel good. but when im being hella kurt, and snappy. YOU ( whom ever ) cant tell that i dont fucking feel like going thru youre dumb ass interogation? shit. i cant fuckin take it no more. shit like this makes me want to become a muthafuckin hermit and live in the hills so i dont have to fuckin be bothered. just let me be, and talk like you was talkin… tell your fuckin joke, say what you was gone say. fuck.

id like to end this muthafuckin rant by saying….

the truth hurts…. violators of the truth will walk away wounded!


man… at my folks house… my father does most of the cooking. on saturday mornings, my dad used to wake up early as hell ( he is a early raiser like that ). and he make a big ass breakfast for all of us… my dad gets pretty damn live in the kitchen… so shit was ALWAYS spectacular.
My sister and I, as far as our sleeping habits go… we take after both our parents. but one thing we aint, is early risers lol my dad sleeps like four hours a night ( he used to be in the military ). my mom can sleep a day away like it aint shit lol. My sister and i can go either way… but we both prefer to get in our 8 hours… i dont know about my sister. but its an effort for me to get in 8 hours these days.
anyway… saturday mornings usually come after a friday night. which means everybody that AINT my dad probably blacked out sometime AFTER 2 am lol. meaning early morning wasnt really an option for us lol. But… my dad would have breakfast ready around 10. sometimes he would have jazz playin kinda loud while he was cookin… or watching a game… or be listening to one of minister Farrakhan speeches… or watching Tony Browns Journal. As breakfast was ready he would wake us up one by one. Sometimes either me or my sister was already awaken by the noise or the smell of greatness on the fire downstairs. i cant ever remember breakfast not being great. alot of times we would all sit around and talk for hours sometimes…. my parents and my sister and me. if we didnt sit around and talk after breakfast… sometimes we would break off and do our own thing… or if we didnt get enough rest… sheeeeeeeitttttt if you never thought I wasnt Black before, let me assure you. that i used to black SMOOTH OUT after some of them breakfasts… nice and full… couldnt shit keep me up. id be gone lol. Niggaitis is real and it will go straight up side your head after a good ass meal. BUT! thats some great ass sleep!

i miss that sometimes.

its damn near 4 am here… and gotdammit… ive had it BAD for some pancakes lately. the plan is… to wake up early… because although i might black out at 5am lol… i will wake up at least 3 times before around 11 or 12 when i roll out of bed. One of them times… i plan to get up and make me and mikey ( sylvias son ) some great ass pancakes with eggs, turkey bacon and a TALL glass of cold milk ( with ice in it! i dont care what nobody fucking says… thats the only way i can fuck with milk )… Oh my MUTHAFUCKIN GOD! that shit sound so good right now. Sylvia doesnt get any pancakes. She is on the Atkins diet. Pancakes have carbs… lol she says carbs are the devil lol shit is the guts. but she can have some Eggs and Turkey Bacon… it goes down!

ill post an update… possibly pictures….

i hope to black SMOOTH THE FUUUUUCK out after i finish my plate too. its should be pretty great.


my spelling has come underfire once again… so lets revisit an old post from SoulCity where i layed out reasoning behind my mispellings. Muthafuckas like to blame me for THIER typos and misspellings like mispelling words is fuckin contagious or some shit… lol…. but… before we get started, i would like for everyone to know that… Yes… i cant spell for shit, i can manage if i actually try. but most times i dont… because honestly i dont hold the shit in high reguards like other people. I actually hold tense in higher reguard… but alot of people will forsake that shit in hopes to spell something right. personally tho… it gets on my nerves… but i dont call muthafuckas on it, because it aint that fricken serious! anyway… here are my thoughts:

The OJ could care less about a few typos or making sure a word is spelled exactly right all the time everytime, especially in conversation. as long as my point is clear, i could care less.
When people chat with me online… this is the vibe that is given out and it creates an enviorment to where people can relax and just talk/type and dont gotta worry about double checking to see if they spelled a word right or not. They can just hit that enter key and move on.
and dammit… people like that shit. so they get used to it. and blam… they start to slip up when they talk to other people. and then blame the shit on me. the person that made thier time online and chating a tad bit easier and presented a more relaxed enviornment for all parties.
So now… we are at the point where The OJ is blamed for Bad Spelling being infectious. When in all actuality, it was the so called victim or infectee who blew it from the get go. Because they “slipped up” and didnt realize that everybody isnt me, and wont create such an enviornment for them. And they cant create it for them selves. So to make up for thier imcompentices and failures at being trend setters or just independent of the norm, They blame the person that has only done good by them. Which i honestly think is skanless… but hey. If thats the way people wanna be… then its ok. Everybody blames me for thier bad spelling. knowing good and gotdamn well it aint my damn fault.

im a damn philamthropist. i wish people would see that.

i give people a relaxed enviornment to chat in.

i point out people with jheri curls ( its hard to find a kit now a days… if a person went thru the trouble of lookin for one… then they obviously want everybody to see it right? so i point it out… helping THEM out. because they CLEARLY wanted other people to see it!)

i tell people that they lack inteligence in hopes that they would realize the error in thier ways and seek proper education. i even give examples on how the particular person blew it. so they can concentrate in throse areas where they lack the most. how is this not helping your fellow man?!!

i tell people the truth. ( reguardless if they want to hear it or not )

im practily jesus like.

which would make you people that claim i fucked up your spelling, people that call me mean and whatever else… ROMANS!!!!

and i am constantly crusified for my good doings!!!

its ok tho. yall cant stop me. fymf!!!
i shall countiue to do my thing.

lol assholes…

— FIN —

lol i thought it was pretty funny.


Apperently… there is a new dance out called “The Chicken Head”. fucking wow. i cant believe this shit.

Now everybody knows what the fuck a ChickenHead is… why in the fuck would some asshole make up a dance called the chicken head… and furthermore… why would a female with any self respect be caught dead proforming that shit? i dont understand. but its alright… because when i refer to her casually as ” oh, that bitch over there… ” or bitch whatever the fuck… BET NOT no muthafucka even try to get mad at me. she murdered her fuckin dignity a long time ago. she deserve every last “bitch” she ever get, in any conotation.

i dont get muthafuckas sometimes… shit just way fuckin beyond me. shit like this is when i start cuttin muhfuckas off. let me find out a muthafucka i know does that shit… im deleting they ass off my buddy list / cell phone / life which ever. Just like when muthafuckas was walkin around singin that stupid ass Khia song. i cut at least two people off behind that. but this shit here is the dumbest shit possible. and im not even fuckin playin.

somebody need they ass whooped.

if more muthafucks had to suffer thru an ass whoopin for doing retarded shit… the world would be a better place to live in. i promise.


Recently… the homie calvin got his DSL turned back on… and this nigga was on the net for like 19 straight hours ( lol ok maybe not that long ). but homie is 100% addicted to the net… shit alot of people are addicted to the net. Which reminds me of some shit i was thinking about a lil while back.
I have hardly any real addictions.

a muhfucka can say… oj… your addicted to the net. No im not… ive walked away from the net before. When i moved to hell… ( pheonix ) back in 98/99. i was in school with NO internet access… shit sucked. but i survived lol i wasnt jonesin. the only real reason i be on the net is out of bordum… well back then… now this is where i make my money… so im on this bitch all day long lol.

Basketball? nope… ive balled maybe 10 times in the last 2 years. i DO miss that… and i want to get back on the court… but i aint gonna break down lol. even watching basketball…. when i was in school… i missed that whole season for the most part. imma BIG Laker fan.. but i will miss a game if something else is crackin. after magic retired… i barely watched any basketball for like 3 years.

Peanut butter jelly sandwiches? nope… i can go months with out one… and not miss them shits either.

French fries… while i wont say no if you offer me one… ive gone months with out french fries also… and wont want them shits till i get a taste for em.

Getting fucked up…. nope. i do smoke… and i do drink. but i can go months with out doing either or. and it wont bother me. even if i have the desire to…. i can wait till when ever it cracks… and not really break my self for either. i dont smoke as often as people think tho lol… mainly on the weekends… or at nite to black out.

However… i AM addicted to the following:

Money… if i dont have money… i feel like im missing something out of my life. its almost impossible for me to be happy.

Sex… imma man… what do you expect? come on now… if i go too long i cant even fuckin see straight and im the meanest nigga ever.

Head…. that shit is greater than greatest and yes i am addicted. and thats all i have to say about that. i have no shame lol

Money again… the root of all evil? or the key to OJ’s happiness? lol

Cussing… i have no desire to stop. at all. i will cuss at my kids… i cuss at everybody… i honestly dont care… i love to cuss… i love to hear cuss words. any female that has ever had a problem with me cussing, wasnt in my life very long. soon as i hear ” you cuss too much! ” ….. first thing that goes thru my mind is…. where in the fuck can i drop this muthafucka here off at? i hate that shit. and i really dont even like people who dont cuss lol that shit bothers me. especially people who say stupid ass shit like ” what the puff? ” and various other censor friendly ass words… man… we all know what you MEAN… so isnt that JUST as bad as saying it? why sound corny at the expense of being lame as fuck? really. i honestly wish people would cut that shit out. youre grown man… its ok. i promise.

Talkin shit… now… ive actually ATTEMPTED to tone down my shit talking… but i can not do it for the life of me. if i didnt enjoy talking shit so much… i think i would have WAY less friends and associates than i do. particuarly because i NEED to talk shit to SOMEBODY. Sylvia practically pushes me out the door when i follow her around the house crackin jokes on every lil thing she does. and i dont miss much. and i will make up some off the wall shit. lol one of my ex’s was over today and her and sylvia traded old jokes i forgot about that ive told them at some point in time. all i kept hearing is… yup… that sounds like something oj would say! which i guess is: something thats very fucked up stated in a creative way. lol skanless aint it? oh well.. fuck it, i cant help my self. thats one of the reasons i started this blogger. thats why i talk to people on the internet ( partically lol ) thats my reasoning behind alot of my social interactions lol
i cant stop.

those definitly are all my addictions. and they aint going NO where lol.


i woke up today and this shit was waiting for me on AIM lol

I got a new car radio yesterday and it is terrific.
If I say “Rock” it plays rock and roll.
If I say “Rap” it plays rap.
If I say “Love” it plays love songs.
Three kids ran out in front of the car
and I said
“Fucking kids!”

And it played Michael Jackson.

lmao gutty shit.

But… let it be known. that in this country of ours… as unjust as it can be at times. the rule of the land is suppose to be… innocent until proven guilty. that is what is “suppose” to make this country “great”. Not Guilty if the media says so. Just because some news anchor has some retarded ass/personal opinion… does not make it law… or a live update of the bible… or a live update of the judicial process…. or the mass public opinion… NOR does it mean it should automatically become yours.

but yea… the joke… for the sake of being a JOKE ( something that really isnt ment to be taken seriously ) is pretty gotdamn funny lol.