April 2003 - Uhmah Park

i hate people who send spam….
i wonder how much money is in that shit… then i probably wouldnt be so mad at spam if i was actually one of the assholes sending it.

but anyway….

i got this dumb ass spam email today…. that said…
” FREAKISHLY BIG COCKS!!! ” ( sigh… i know i should put a period in that shit some where ) and showed pictures of females and freakishly big cocks and various sex acts lol i couldnt imagine havin a 18 inch dick and trying to get some ass… or even some head for that matter….
anyway… me and kwasi was talkin about it lol

Kwasi: dick all tattered and bruised
Kwasi: lookin like it fought mohammed ali
O.com: LOL!!!!
O.com: LMAO!!!
Kwasi: or got caught in a foreman grill
O.com: OUCH!
O.com: that aint even funny lol
Kwasi: hahahah
O.com: particularly because im tall
O.com: and my shit be right there every time i cook something on the foreman
O.com: lol and the other day
O.com: i burned my ASS on sylvias coffee lol
Kwasi: muhahahaha
O.com: i turned around and bumped her coffee mug that was extra close to the edge of the counter… with HOT ASS coffee in it, with my ass… and didnt really notice…
O.com: then like a second later
O.com: my shit caught fuckin FIRE
Kwasi: this has been another “i’m glad i’m not that tall” moment
Kwasi: brought to u by the makers of napolean pumps
O.com: LMAO
O.com: hell naw

funny how conversations just move on to other retarded shit lol


The Bong is Max’s Enemy

sigh… this shit here. i think we need a victims perspective. ( umm it might be wise to click that link and read this niggas story first lol )

i still remember the spit flying towards me and all i could think of was: SARS!!!!!!!!

i made a pretty good attempt at trying to flee ground zero… but was unsucessful because some girl sitting next to me got ALL in my gotdamn way!
somehow, i think she thought i was trying to shield her from the explosion of salava that came out this niggas mouth… speeding towards the both of us…. and i guess that is a good thing… or woulda been if she was anywhere near cute… man… she was shaped like a fuckin race track… just one big long ass oval… flat on the front … flat in the back.. and she was black too, i was really amazed how she had no shape. so yea… nothing good came outta that shit….. EXCEPT! for later on… a nigga like me was like… max… hit it again… and this nigga max looked over at me… dead ass serious… sounding like stewart from mad tv… ” The Bong, is my Enemy ”
woooo… i damn near suffocated laughin at that shit lol. this nigga was actin like the bong was out to get him. that shit was tha GUTS!!!

but yea… i got spit the fuck on… like three big ass clumps… that shit was nasty as hell lol. but i was blowed and it was the guts because this nigga did not know what he was doing lol. so imma let it slide…. next time i try to get somebody to hit a bong tho… im backin the fuck up.
i would say it was worth it… because max was super blowed making blowed statments for the rest of the night lol. lol THEN… we went to carls jr… lol this nigga max i think was a tad bit too high to be anywhere near ready for this shit…. but i was bangin the old skool cuts in my car… i cant remember what was on…. but that shit went off and MC HAMMER came on…. this nigga damn near lost it LOL!!! this nigga let out a big ass NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! i was in the drive thru bangin the fuck outta old ass mc hammer songs… dancin n shit lol singin along with the songs lol MC Hammer used to be the shit… i dont giva fuck… ill bang that shit lol… i had to turn it earlier that day because the homie dennis was on some ” I REFUSE ” shit lol. but lucky for me… max was hella high and all he could do was laugh…
it was tha guts….
that whole night was the guts.
jokes and jokes and jokes and jokes!!


First off i would like to thank all the people who called a nigga and woke me up on the way to mexico ( we left at 9 somethin… a nigga was sleepy lol ) to say have a safe trip… yap yap yap.

Secondly i would like to offer this explanation to all the people i did not tell i was going to mexico for 4 days before the fact : Oops. My bad homie. apparently i only remembered to tell 5 people out of the hundreds i know lol. i came home to a buncha… ” what the fuck nigga” ‘s lol.

but yea…

Last thursday i went to rosorito, mexico with 19 latinos. i only knew two of the people i went with… Dennis and David. everybody else i had just met that day… they was all cool as hell…

but… i learned some things in mexico, such as:

— when traveling to another country… its good to speak a good portion of the native language. I made sure i had one of them fools with me most of the time i was there. i was in desperate need of a translator.

— when sleeping in a room with FIVE other dudes… make sure them muthafuckas do not fuckin snore! Fuck. lol David is a little pretty boy… and was the most popular of us all amongst the females… but this muthafucka snores loud as fuck to be as small as he is. but wait… there were TWO muhfuckas in the room snoring. Henrey is a bigger dude and… ok… i wasnt surprised at that one. but them two snoring at the same time was kickin my ass for a large portion of my designated sleep time. I fucked around and had a dream that i woke up and told Henry to hit the anti snore button on the wall by the bed he was in. funny thing about that is… about 5 to 10 min after he hit that shit… both of them fools stoped snorin…. it was great.

— when sleeping in a room with FIVE other dudes, jack an extra pull out bed… it was great… i didnt have to sleep with nobody that didnt have a vagina the whole time i was there lol. Cant say that about everybody else tho lol

— being able to wear whatever the fuck you want to a club aint always a good thing, just ask two pairs of my j’s. eehhh i dont know… just didnt feel right. a nigga took advantage tho lol.

— hustlin in mexico starts at age 3 to 4. there was a buncha little kids running around trying to sell necklaces and other little knicknacks the whole time i was there… them little niggas is relentless too!! they didnt even come up to my knees. they would pull on my shorts or pants and hold up whatever they was sellin and a two… for two bucks, i would tell them no thanks… and im not tryin to be racist or no shit… but it seemed like in less than 3 min… that same lil nigga was back in my face trying to slang me the same shit. i was like damn. it seemed like there was a million of em… and they all looked related!

— street vendors could possibly be worse than telemarketers…. ok… so there was a buncha little kids running around slangin knicknacks… but there were also teenagers old ladys/men adults trying to sell any and everything out there. that shit gets old… QUICK! you cant walk 5 feet out there with out somebody trying to sell you SOMETHING. this one dude was selling flagrantly fake sterling silver chains… with LA medalians on em… stickin em in niggas faces saying ” Bling bling? want bling bling? ” lol that shit was the guts. what was even funnier… i saw 2 white boys with them shits on.

— the tip system is the only system in mexico. thats the only way to get any damn thing out there… is with a fuckin tip… you want your drinks stronger homie? tip strong. you want good service… you better be a good tipper. that shit got irritating… especially to a nigga that doesnt believe in tipping.

— cuban cigars are the shit. woooooo still got one in my bag… i should light that muthafucka up. if i could nigga-rig me up a ash tray right now i would. that muthafucka stank tho lol. i think this weekend ( because i aint doing SHIT… SHIT SHIT SHIT!!! SHIT!!! SHIT! ) imma throw on some jazz and stank up my room with that shit.

— packing clothes for a trip to mexico, dunk, is NOT a good fucking idea! i took 3 pairs of jordans down there and had to sacrifice two of them muhfuckas to the sand and the clubs. ugh… nigga forgot his boots… but shit… i dont know what would have been worse. fuckin up my ecko boots or my jordans. now that i think about it… i would have much rather gave up the ecko boots. ugh.

— Rosorito is not for muthafuckas over 21. There was nothing but muthafuckin 18 to 20 year olds there… wanting to party, fuck and drink… because they couldnt in the states. which brings me to the next muthafuckin thing i learned

— i dislike people under 21! As far as going out and socializing? oh fuck no! ill never do that shit again! gotdammit! that shit irritated the fuck outta me. And NO! i did not know before i fucking went! ok?! ugh. i hate hate hate young girls… HATE! NIGGA HATE! ( watch some white supremest on google end up at my shit now lol ) i wont lie… i did actually meet a couple of females that were cool and what not and a couple of the dudes we went with was cool too… but for the most part… ah fuck naw!!! i was irritated as fuck after day 2 because i realized there was like a total of 30 people in all of rosorito over fuckin 22. fuck. its cool tho… im over it lol.

— getting drunk on the beach is hella muthafuckin fun! shit… gettin drunk is fun fuck it lol

— tequila shots out there are fun as fuck! lol this is what they do… there is this muthafucka walking around at the clubs with a big ass bottle of tequila and a muthafuckin whistle… blowing that shit loud as fuck… grabbin peoples heads… you pay that nigga three fuckin bucks… he will grab your head… tilt it back… and proceed to hold that tequila bottle over your mouth and blow that whistle loud as shit. lol after your mouth is filled with tequila… or he is just fuckin finished fuckin with you… he puts the bottle down and shakes the fuck out of your head. which fucks YOU up… THEN… if this nigga can pick you up… he will… then spin you around. lol the first time i tired that shit… i had to threaten dude… i leaned over and said “ay… you shake my head… and imma have to fuck you up. ” but after the first one… i learned that the head shaking shit makes the experience… over the whole weekend i had like 8 of them shits lol at different times… folded me nice and good lol

— rum will intoxicate me faster than anything. it doesnt matter what the fuck kind of rum it is. i will be fuckin folded fuckin with that shit. as femmine as this shit sounds… sex on the beach is my new drink of choice! imma start callin that shit Red Ass or someshit… i dont know… Ass in the Sand… i dont know imma have to think of something that dont sound like i have a twat when i ask for it. i drink to get fucked up… not to piss out 70 dollars worth of bullshit.

— it is possible to roll to mexico with some smoke on you. i didnt… and when i found out that i could… i was hella disappointed!

— leaving mexico is a pain in the muthafuckin ASS! ill never drive over there again with anybody for as long as i live. there is up to a 3 hour wait at the border coming back over to the states… fuck that! i am all the way not interested!

— papas and beer is the muthafuckin SHIT! club iggys aint so bad either… senor frogs is wack… the other shit down there aint shit to write home about at all lol.

— riding mechanical bulls drunk is some of the most fun ever. period. i wish i could have stayed on longer lol…

— if you are drunk enough… it doesnt matter if youre dancing with a white girl and she has no concept of a beat. i swear… for me at least lol

— i can not fuck with beer. i tried a Corona… fuck it, i was in mexico… why not? them shits taste like apple cider with no sugar… i cant fuck with it at all. calvin will disavow any knowledge of me after this… but hey… whatever… i cant do it lol.

———- time out. I think… Fuck it should be one word. Fuckit. Mainly because i had a hard ass time typing that shit just a few seconds ago… but now it seems like a real good idea… kinda like “dammit”. ———–

— i also can not fuck with guacamole. it feels like it does ol 87 shit on my stomach and hits the corner of esophagus ave and stomach st, in a hooptie with the lights out… 4 niggas in the car on some… AY HOLMES!!!! FUCK WITH THIS!!!! followed by me spewing liquid monkeys out of my rectum… stinkin up somebody bathroom with no regard for manners/pc/anything associated with what is right or pleasant odors. that shit is ruff… and no no no… it wasnt the food out there… because ive had about 4 burritos from chipotle out here ( them shits are heaven! ) and one of em had guacamole on em and i was on the same shit… i just wasnt sure… till i hit mexico. and speaking of the food in mexico

— ” dont eat the food! ” is ALL HYPE! the food out there at some of them spots was so fuckin good!!! of course like ANYWHERE you go… you have to peep out if the spot is clean. but man fuck… i love mexican food… and that shit wasnt gettin no more authentic than that! fuckin shit, it was delicious! one night at papas and beer… i was HELLA drunk… and shit was about to start spinning for me. so i grabbed henry… like dogg… lets go get something to eat… AT THE CLUB they had a fuckin spot to eat in the corner… i rolled over there… dizzy as shit… drunk as fuck… like yo… let me get some fries ( lol of course! ) and a chicken quesidilla. My Lord! that shit was so good… i thought i was high that shit was so good! i thought i made the best chicken quesidillas ever… until i tasted that shit there. holy shit!

— when walking thru a crowd at a club… hold your nuts. or somebody else will. i dont even wanna talk about how i was fondled a good 3 times. and then we wont even talk about the girl who straight forward about slobbin a nigga down.

— sand is the devil! that shit gets in EVERYTHING! i got sand in my fuckin camera… in my shoes ( of course i was on the beach ) in my wallet… i did drop it but still… in my nose… in my fuckin ears… my ass ( ????? ) my toes… under my muthafuckin arms… every gotdamn where

— sleeping in a bed with sand in it is the worst shit ever. it feels worse than a girl rubbing her legs on you and needing to shave.

— the beach down there is great. a tad bit dirty in some spots… but great none the less

— girls walking around in bikinis never gets old. even if they are under 21 ( but over 18! ) especially when they have some sort of figure to show off.

— thongs too, never get old. maybe its just me lol

— white boys arent as crazy as we once thought! i swear… some of the shit they do is fucking fun! buss it…..

—- ATV 4 wheelers are tha muthafuckin SHIT!!! i can not stress this shit enough… i swear imma get me one… i dont know where the fuck imma roll this shit at… but im gettin one. we rented atv’s down there… about 20 of us ( we met up with some people down there ) on the beach… down to this circle track on the beach… holy muthafuckin shit was that shit fuckin great fun!!! the brakes were SHIT. but i was havin so much fun i didnt care!!! once i learned i wasnt gonna tip over… i was tearing that fuckin track up. a couple of the homies fell off they shit… a couple of people flipped over lol. i didnt! i came close though! i went straight on a couple of turns thinkin i was going too fuckin fast… but that shit was fuckin wonderful! ill always remember that shit lol

—- Bungee Cord jumpin is fun as fuck… but scarier than that lol

—- Lying about your weight when the weight limit is 200 pounds but you weigh 230… AINT the smartest thing in the fuckin world to do. alright… here is what happen:

at club iggys they got a bungee tower or whatever… and the homie jason found out how much it was… and jumped. it looked HELLA fun… mind you… a nigga like me was EXTRA drunk… i had a couple of those crazy ass tequilla shots and 2 Ass in the Sands ( sex on the beach lol ). so… the two females we was chilling with that day… ashely and rosa from bakersfeild… was like i wanna do it!! how much?? 20 bucks. 20 bucks? thats it? i wanna do it too!!! so ashley, rosa, jason ( who just jumped ) and i walked up to the booth to pay for that shit. on the way there i hear… if you are over 200 pounds… they wont let you jump because you would be too heavy. im like FUCK! i walk up and ask them about that shit and they tell me… well if youre too heavy you will hit the air mat at the bottom. im like oh… well fuck it then.. im cool! Jason pulls me over to the side like

“fuck that… do it! im 200 pounds… i didnt come close to hitting the mat! you saw me!”

im thinking to my self… well hmmm… he looks like he could be 200 pounds… and he didnt come close… fuckit. i walked up like yo… i wanna jump… im 198! lol them muthafuckas did not believe me… after alot of talkin… i got them to let me jump. i tell jason… alright dogg… look… imma trust you… but if i hit this mat… imma fuck you up. if i bounce back and hit the tower… dogg… i swear… imma beat you untill i forget about it. Jason was like… im tellin you its cool… ill take the ass whoopin if you hit it… im tellin you its cool. So… i climb my ass… drunkenly up like… 6 flights of stairs, prayin… like Oh God… please dont let me fall to my death… please let this 30 pound difference be alright. please. i get to the top and its ashelys turn to jump. and she was bullshitin… i didnt see what the big deal was at the time… i was hella excited… cheering her on n shit… after a couple of min… she was like… ok OJ……………… PUSH ME! *SHOVE!* she went flyin off that shit screamin… YEA! so now… its my fuckin turn… and im beggining to sober up kinda.. thinkin: oh shit i hope i dont kill my self… i hope i dont kill my self. im all tied up and ready to go now… standing at the edge… hearing the homies cheer me on… hearing the wind blowing, the waves on the beach, looked down…and see the bullseys on the mat… and i hear my thoughts again……….

THIS SHIT IS RETARDED!!!!… i wanna turn the fuck around… this is some bullshit… imma fuck jason up for talkin me into this shit… fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck shit… fuck fuck fuck… fuck………. fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck… ok… if i dont jump…. they are gonna think imma bitch….. well so… ill be a bitch!… no no … cant be a bitch… aint no bitch in me………………………

JUMP muthafucka! SSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!! that first free fall sobered me ALL THE WAY the fuck up… i see the fuckin mat speeding towards my black ass… i didnt close my eyes… i saw that shit every inch of the way down… the mat is getting closer folks… closer…. im staring right at the bullseye in the middle of this muthafucka the whole time… closer closer… i feel the cord catch and start to stretch out… YES! but… im still speeding towards that mat. im NOT slowing down at all.

PFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTT!!!! sigh…. why did i hit the muthafuckin mat?? right when that shit was pullin me back up…. slowed down mostly for the most part eventually. but i hit that mat face first….basiclly what happen was i deflated it like i jumped on it from the side or some shit… but as soon as i hit it… i bounced back up… when i hit the fuckin mat i tried to put my legs out to try to land on my feet if i got too close to the ground and i put my arms out in front of me. hit that mat nice and good tho lol… fuckin shit… talk about relief!!

but! the terror wasnt over! im speeding back up fast as fuck too! shit snatched my black ass up from that mat with mad force…. i turn around to see if imma hit the tower……………. didnt come close! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO i started screamin my ass off!!!! that shit was retarded fun!!!!! id do that shit again if i found a spot when more of a weight limit! lol after i got off that shit i felt like there wasnt shit left for me to be scared of ever in life! ( other than the mexican police who was walkin around with m-16’s lol) i couldnt believe how fun that shit was….
sigh… man…

— i only have about a 36 hour stretch of parting and non soberness per week… so if i start on friday… sunday after noon im done lol. we got there on thrusday after noon… i was ready to leave by early saturday morning at around 3 am. i felt like SHIT. maybe i was just tired… i had did a buncha shit on that friday. the atv’s… we could all barely stand after that shit… we was tired as fuck… then i sat and drank in the sun… the two crazy ass tequilla shots and the ass in the sands… then the bungee cord jump… then… i walked about 5 miles around rosorito lookin for batteries for my camera because them shits went dead when was i about to jump and the homie was on the ground trying to take pictures. a nigga was hella exhausted. i was ret tah go. lol

anyway… thats all i can think that i learned in mexico. it was cool… ill never go back to rosorito again. its nice there… but there are too many kids… and they was playin old shit all day at the fuckin clubs… same shit over and over… i was hella irritated. i had fun on friday tho. overall i dont regret going at all. but next time i go to mexico… im going to cancun or some other spot where it cost too much for kids to go lol

damn… this is long as fuck


a nigga like me is off to rosirito (sp), Mexico…
yes yes i know… dont drink the water… i know… i got it. its cool… ill stick to alchole. lol
YEP!

and dont worry… im not sending anybody SHIT, i aint pickin up SHIT… you know the drill.

ill get back…


There are several OJ rules…

Rule # 2

DO NOT call my black ass if the time does not have double digits… and 0 IS NOT A DIGIT!!! it is a fucking place holder!
for anybody that is still confused. this means dont call my black ass untill 11 am.
and chances are i will still be blacked out… but my thinking is i should be awake after 11… even on a weekend… the day is wasted after that.

this rule here is constantly fuckin broken by damn near everybody i know. my dad just called me at 9:40am… didnt want shit… that nigga J dubya calls me all the time… BEFORE 11 ( rarely after ) with tech support questions, Marina used to always call my Black ass on the way to school… but saw how fruitless that shit was because i wouldnt pick up the phone half the time… sylvia only wakes me up when its important… OR when she is super bored… which i can let slide sometime… i also get other random calls from other people… and the first thing all these niggas ask me is… ” you sleep? “. everybody knows i work late lol… niggas have no sympathy for me.
but then people wonder why im so damn mean sometime….
BECAUSE I AM NOT FUCKING RESTING PROPERLY!
ok… im done.


im not a follwer like calvin said he is…. lol but imma buss this shit too… just because i feel like it.

1. What was the first band you saw in concert?

The Wu Tang Clan… this shit was fun as hell. there was a buncha opening acts… but the reason i spent my money was because of mos def and tony touch and the wu.
mos def is live as fuck in concert…
tony touch is tight as well… he gets busy on some turn tables… lol he need to set the mic down for a bit lol.
the the wu came out one at a time… doin a verse from whatever track. the reason i was so hyped about this shit because ALL them niggas was there except for ODB because he was locked up around the corner at the san bernardino jail lol ( i was at the orange show for the oracle concert ) by the time them niggas was done… they was blowed as fuck lol. only thing that killed it was the wu affliates that got on after them and didnt know when to stop freestylin. but i was on my way out socializing and all kinda other shit… so i didnt really pay that much attention anyway. me and that nigga John went… that shit was live as fuck. that was the only concert ive ever been too tho…
( for Deah: i was caught in the moment at this shit… in the crowd… jumpin up and down n shit… yelling the songs… i feel like an asshole now that i actually think about it… )

2. Who is your favorite artist/band now?
i have a lot of favorites in a lot of different musical catorgories…
ill just go off whats in my car right now which is most of my Jazz Collection. my car deck plays mp3 data disc… so there is like 200 songs including 7 albums on that one disc. My favorites on that disc would be Miles and John Coltrane… i suppose that is some what of a commercial pick but i dont giva flyin fuck. i can listen to blues and ballands and kind of blue all day… the only Coltrane album/cd i have is A love supreme and i love that shit too… i have a lot of individual tracks by Coltrane and im pretty sure ive made up at least two albums but id have to shift thru all my mp3’s and get them shits together…
i dont really like any of the new jazz out… most of that shit is terrible. im more into the classic shit. i forget the era it is that i favor exactly… its big band and something else.. i cant remember.

3. What’s your favorite song?
some of my favorite jazz tracks off that cd would be:
Stolen Moments – Oliver Nelson — this is probably the song i favorite out of my whole collection. which would make it my favorite i guess lol
Save your Love for me – Nancy Wilson and Cannonball Aderly — great great great song… i almost wish i had somebody to dedicate this shit to… but all the muhfuckas in my life that are gone… are gone for a reason!
Cold Duck Time – Les McCann and Eddie Harris
Compared to What – Les McCann and Eddie Harris — GOTDAMMIT! ( you would have to know the song to know what im talkin about )
Take 5 – The Dave Brubeck Quartet — this shit here is great!
Speak No Evil – Wayne Shorter
Four on Six – Wes Montgomery
A love Supreme, the whole shit – John Coltrane
Freddie the Freeloader – Miles Davis — my dad used to say this was me and my sisters song when we was little lol nigga used to call us freeloaders lol like we was suppose to make a way for ourselves at 10 and 8 lol
So What – Miles Davis — YES! ( like marv albert )
Three Little Words – John Coltrane — youre under arrest ( NIGGA! lol )
Grazin in the Grass – Hugh Masakela
Mode for Joe – Joe Henderson
Equinox – John Coltrane — i have the whole album this is from… i just dont know what its called, i think its called giant steps but im not sure…
The pink panther theme
the peanuts theme
there is this track by marcus miller that i fuckin love… but i cant never remember the gotdamn name of the song… it came out when i was little and they used to play it on the wave ( a radio station out here ) for the promo. fuck it…

lol ill be doing this shit all day let me move the hell on.

4. If you could play any instrument, what would it be?
I used to play the alto sax in the 4th grade… but i got lazy and quit– really what it was… i got tired of carrying that shit to school on music day. but my whole goal was to play the pink pather theme… i love that shit.

5. If you could meet any musical icon (past or present), who would it be and why?
eh… im cool on meeting people… celebs are normal people who get more attention than the rest of society. some are stranger than others ( take mike for example… ) but its not like i wanna see how they make thier music or anything… because then i wouldnt like it… im a after market person… i cant even look at my own artwork, flash work, web site and like them shits immediatly after i finish them… i have to not look at them shits for a few days to actually say… damn.. thats pretty good. thats just me tho.
if anything… i would love to have been to have been at a live proformance or two. but yea… i cant think of any body id like to meet… im just not interested.
Actually… the only Celeb id actually like to meet is Tatyanna Ali… and not for her musical talent. lol she is beautiful — if youve saw the first episodes of fastlane… youd be on tha same shit i am currently on.


i promise i dont make this shit up. maybe im just observant. but fuck that… this time i have a witness! Sylvia was in the car with me… she saw the whole shit as it went down… just like i saw it.

today i was on the 101 freeway on the way back to the house… in a bit of traffic. so this means its easier to see what people are doing in the other cars around you.
i find my self in traffic more than id like to… and ive seen some shit while in traffic.
Today lol… im sittin up… playin some old ass westside connection, the gangsta the killa and the dope deller loud as fuck… with pleanty of bass ( killa cali is a straight murder ). so im making all this noise, and i look to my right, into the next car. its a 2000 Camary, and in it… sits a a Ellen DeGeneres knock off… and she is diggin in her nose with reckless fucking abadon. i mean she was all in her shit lol. I really didnt rush to point this shit out, but for some reason… i couldnt turn away from watching this lady dig all in her nose. she was up in there cleaning house homie. to the side… deep… the backwards pick… all that shit. after some pretty serious digging… she just stoped like she never had her finger all in her shit. im thinking she was about to flic her prize over at my car… and i was ready to look at her like she was fuckin retarded. she didnt do that tho… ok… you was diggin pretty hard lady… i know you found something up there. Im thinking… is there a roll up and a drop coming sometime soon? she didnt do that either… she just kinda posted up with her bugar filled finger, leaned to the side, hand up… ready to go at it again i suppose. i laughed and started payin attention to what i was doing again ( driving lol ). Peek back over… she is constantly peeking in her rear view mirror… for what? i dont know? she looked like she was trying to play off the fact that she was diggin in her damn nose for the world to see. leaning on her elbow… hand in her face… on some low profile shit.
i dont know why she NEVER looked over my way… i had my stereo up loud as shit… and i was the only nigga paying attention the whole time she was in her nose she was lookin around ( mainly to her right ) trying to see who could see her. and its not like i was trying to be slick about lookin at her ass lol anyway… so ever so slightly… she shoved her fuckin finger in her gotdammit mouth!!! trying to make it look like she was biting her nails!! i was sittin there peepin her out the whole time! THAT WAS THE SAME FINGER YOU WAS DIGGIN IN YOUR NOSE WITH YOU NASTY MUTHAFUCKA YOU!!!!! dont try to play that shit off…
i yelled out… UGH YOU NASTY BITCH!!!! me and syl was grossed out… even tho i yelled that shit out and me and sylvia was sittin there laughin at her ass… for whatever reason she didnt look over our way… i was RIGHT NEXT TO HER.
after she got all the fuckin bugars off her fuckin finger i guess… she went back up there for more! at this point… i might as well have been lookin at a car accident, because i couldnt turn away. she was taking no prisioners… and did not giva fuck about me to the left of her… because she put her fuckin finger right back in her mouth… and thought she was slick about it.
that shit was nasty lol as fuck lol but funny at the same time lol
of course… i had my trusty camera on me… but unfortunatly i couldnt get a shot of her finger in her nose or mouth. oh well lol. it was still pretty gutty tho. nasty muthafucka.

i almost wish i would have started this blogger in my 9th or 8th grade year… me and my cousin JD have been seeing shit like this since we started hangin out. i dont know if we are super observant… or do people really think nobody is paying attention sometime? or maybe we just catch super little shit.

like the time in summer school before the 9th grade, when we were playing football and the homie Shrwin got his and broke his wrist… but LIMPED off the court ( we played football on the basketball courts for some dumb ass reason… dont ask me ). that nigga was PISSED we was laughin because he was limpin and had no sympathy at all for this nigga lol. that shit is still fuckin funny. i could type out dumb ass stories for days.


this shit here:

www.thugzo.com

when somebody first sent this shit to me… i sent to to damn near anybody that was on AIM like… gotdammit… this is the gayest site possible. but then… i thought about it. and i came to the conclusion that to say that ” this is the gayest site possible ” would really be an insult to the gay community. a community who really hasnt done shit to anybody else if you think about it. i know some great people who happen to like to have sex with thier respective sexes and thats thier business. and there isnt anything wrong with that honestly. thats what they wanna do. i choose to be a asshole and say fucked up shit at fucked up times… im doing way more harm that any gay person is doing just living out thier lives being gay. So… calling this niggas site gay as possible would be a horrific injustice to the gay community. and i do aplogize.

next… i was thinking… ok… ill just say this site is corny as possible. but.. that just dont have enough stank on it. this shit here needs to be associated with a whole new brand of wack and fucked up, that can be its own and make any one who hears it cringe before they laugh… except those individuals who belong to this group that is to be associated with this new brand of wack/fucked up shit. and truly desirve this unholy ass alliance.

so… this shit here… is fuckin Republican. YES! that is fucking correct. read it again gotdammit… republican. this shit here has been paired with the group of muthafuckas… that fuck shit up for every gotdamn body. i hope you muthafuckas are happy. take a good look as this fucking site… and know that everything that is wrong with this fuckin site… is what people think about you muthafuckas and your fucked up/wack/fascist ass ways and doings. fuckin bastards!

with that said… lets pick on this fucking site.
i guess it speaks for its self… i have honestly seen worse. even tho i bet that its hard to believe. most of the pages on blackplanet out do this shit by leaps and bounds over tall buildings and the fuckin mississippi. and ive also seen bloggers way worse than this. and i guess i should leave it alone… but… it is its own brand of wack… so i had to make up some new shit for it. lol

i just still cant believe this nigga is suppose to be a thug but has a copyright over his eyes in all his pictures… that shit killed me right there lol. i cant think of a almost kinda good reason for that shit lol… fuck the poses… and the shit in the pictures lol. oh… and let us not forget the r kelly like illustration lol… ill even go as far as saying forget the shit thats in the guestbook lol. the pictures alone make the murder oh so complete lol.
this site is a good example of what too much BET can do to a nigga. this shit is also a clear example of what 5 min a day at least with your kids can prevent…

this shit here is top notch wack… lol its more than just republican… its bush. all the way fucked up/wack… and there aint NO coming back.

lol i need to stop hangin out with errin and her friends… i been talkin shit for 3 days straight ( had to blame it on somebody lol )


This months ” Nigga… calm yo black ass down award ” goes to that violent muthafucka… Ron Artest and his Ugly muthafuckin ass.

Yes Yes i realize its pretty fuckin early in the month… but gotdammit. its clear that , that nigga is a fucking shoe in. so fuck it… he can get that shit now. im pretty sure he will do something else this month to make his postion more concrete. this nigga fouls niggas hard as fuck for no reason… doin all kinda dumb shit… i would hate to be on that niggas team… cryin ass nigga lol. that nigga needs some pussy or somethin. Calm the fuck down homie… play defense… hustle… grab a fuckin rebound… shit yo ugly ass down. Tyrone Hill looks like a muthafuckin BAT! you dont see that nigga fouling the fuck outta niggas… flippin off the crowd… and he has far more reason than everybody. I mean honestly dogg… anybody that tyrone hill makes eye contact with tyrone hill can bet his fortune that person has STOPED whatever they was thinking about to comment to themselves about how ugly that muthafucka is…. IF they just didnt stop in thier tracks and blurt out… ” OH SHIT! that is a ugly muthafucka right there ” lol or something along those lines.

anyway… back to violent cuzz. What is this niggas problem anyway? is he just upset because he is ugly? thats what it seem like. That nigga is hard to look at… and akward on top of that shit. or maybe he is mad because he is starting to realize that every day he starts to look more and more like Crispis Atticks. lol muhfucka. Calm yo punk ass down nigga!

quote from calvin in AIM: “KillaCal13: this nigga took it back to 1776!!!!!!!!”

lol gutty shit.

and speaking of muthafuckas that need to calm down… tonite… Errin, the killa ( not calvin… but akiela… i hope i spelled her name kinda right ) and i went to Skybar… this is a open air bar… and there is a pool in that muhfucka… basiclly… its a hotel… with a bar by the pool area and it some how became a kick it spot. anyway… around 2 oclock… mind you its cold as shit…. some white boy… striped down to his fuckin draws and jumped his muthafuckin ass in tha gotdamn pool… and… took a couple of laps. lol i cant fuck wit it.

im done homie.


March is over…
and its a great thing.
i fuckin hate march… this was a hard month… mainly because of all the march people birthdays i had to remember and deal with. That shit sucked.

People always ask me… oj… what is your beef with females born in march? Well, let me clear it up. For whatever reason… i am weak when it comes to females born in march… its like i gravitate to them. i am natrually attracted for some odd reason… no matter what the fuckin situation… ol girl could be ugly…. and i will STILL kinda like her ass. it sucks. honestly it does… because i have the hardest time saying NO to these individuals. And so… over the years i have been so wronged by so many March females. They just love to give a nigga the HARDEST TIME EVER ( its thier fuckin trademark ), and basiclly drive my ass crazy.

Good thing for me… over these painful years i have learned the methods and ways of these individuals and i can see thier bullshit coming miles and miles away lol. i know alot of them would like to think that they dont ALL do tha same shit… but they do… its the guts really. my skin is getting thicker and thicker as the years pass. Thier bullshit just slides right the fuck off a nigga back… or i dodge that shit all together. sigh… its getting better. Soon… i will be tottaly ammune to them and thier difficultness, and my life will be that much better.

But untill that glorious day… i will keep at least 5 march females in my life… no matter HOW hard i try to shake them niggas lol. and they will continually drive my black ass crazy with thier retard ass ways… and thier difficultness. But as much shit i talk… i truely have a soft spot in my heart for them. and i dont honestly think i will ever go anywhere. i am truely cursed. lol thats why i refer to march females as the spawns of satan sent to earth to destory me. lol ha

Anyway… id like to give a birthday shout out to all the march people that are still in my life. individually of course because them niggas would bitch and moan any other way… and i really dont need that shit lol. now that i think about it… they would probably all want an individual entry… and thats where i draw the line… im lazy fuck that lol

March 9th – Marina — Marina is cool and adorable… just young. But its ok. doenst really act like a march person up front… but that shit shines thru every once in a while. She is gonna drive my Black ass crazy lol. or at least give it a real good shot.

March 12th…. or 8th… or… 14th maybe 13th — Natasha — she doesnt read this shit anyway so it doesnt matter if i got it wrong lol plus i have a damn good excuse. Anyway… i just got back in contact with her recently ( after a 3 years of being apart ) … i miss her to death. i have been trying to replace her for a long time. Note– any of my friends/cousins who reads this… FUCK YOU! in advance! —

March 18th – Errin — my newest friend… errin is great. errin is fun to go out with, she is a buncha fun alltogether… and the gotdamn guts! i always have fun with errin. she attempted to drive me crazy too… but it aint happening! She is still great tho.

March 20th – Dani — Dani is cool… she is one of my internet friends… but for whatever reason… most of my other internet friends dont like her lol. and i cant figure out why. Oh well… i like dani. When she came out here we got to kick it for a second… it was tha guts.

March 29th – Peta Gay — lastly… we have the lovely peta gay. i have been knowing peta gay for a long time… and we have a long….. umm interesting ( to say the least ) history. i love me some peta gay… and i miss her a bunch… she never has time for me ( like i have time for anybody my self ) because she is busy with law school. Even tho she stays right down the damn street. we never get to see each other any more. She did indeed drive my black ass crazy… and still can some fuckin how ( not as much as before tho ) . she will drive a nigga straight up the fuckin wall. Still love her no matter what tho.

and now… i am emotionally drained… and i have to take a gotdamn nap lol.