January 2003 - Uhmah Park

ha ha… i had some pretty random thoughts that were interupted earlier, and i fucked around and forgot…. but like puff… THEY CANT BE STOPED!!!

speaking of p diddy…

i have this folder in my ‘ crate ‘ folder ( my folder with ALL my mp3’s in it ) called ” Commercial Shit “. Yea… so fuckin what… everybody likes them a few commercial hits, and all the ones i favor are in this particular folder.

my car deck… that im inlove with… plays mp3 files… so depending on what mood im in when i leave the house… i just take a folder or two and burn that shit to cd and throw it in the car and roll… and i have more music that i can listen to in any one trip.

the first time i burned a cd with the “commercial shit” folder on it… i had to edit some of the tracks out of that shit… because it was too big with all the other shit i had on that cd… no biggie.

but let me say this first lol… I HATE MASTER P!!! hate… he sucks as an artist. the muhfucka know how to make some money… he might be a biter… he might not be orginal for shit… but whatever… i hate the nigga. and years ago… i SWORE that id never play that niggas shit anywhere… in my house and especially my car. however lol there is ONE song that this muhfucka put out that is SUPER FUCKIN BANGIN… How you do dat dere! that shit is fuckin tight to me for whatever reason lol… i dont know how or why lol i just like the shit lol. anyway… the first time i had to take some tracks off to free up space… im pretty sure anybody who has burnt them a cd has gone thru this shit. so im removing tracks… but i wanna keep how you do dat dere on the shit… some how… some kinda way… that shit got removed…

i thought it was a freak accident….

well… its been sometime since i made that first cd with the commercial shit on it… and ive downloaded some more commercial ass shit… and i go to make me another cd… low and fucking behold… there is too much shit on this cd… so of course.. the commecial shit portion has to be slimmed down… and THIS time i THOUGHT i made it a point to remember to leave that how you do dat dere shit on tha fuckin cd. some fuckin how… that shit DID NOT make it to the cd… i dont know what tha fuck the problem is…

i think there is some part of my brain working in the background… like a gaurdian music angel that will not allow me to bump that shit on the roads of califorina and risk somebody see/hear me bumpin that shit lol. even tho i think its fresh….

anyway… thrid times a charm… i will be bangin that shit on the freeway.. not in traffic… and no one will hear me. it will be my shameful little secert. untill one of my cousins start talkin that shit and i throw that shit on just to annoy them niggas lol.


this is a Five27 public service announcement.

if you dont know what a Jive Turkey is?

chances are… you are indeed a Jive Ass Turkey ( JAT for short )

please forfit any ghetto pass you might have mistakenly obtained at the muthafuckin door.

that is all.

oh my way to San Deigo for the SUPER BOWL!!! ( im not goin to the game… just FOR the parties and what not )

GO RAIDERS!!!!


i started this site ( the blogger part ) because alot of shit happens to me, i see alot of shit… and i wanted to document it.

this is one of the things that i have happen to witness… and luckly i brought my camera for proof… becasue sometime… people think i make shit up. i try to explain… i go thru and see off the wall ass shit all the time…

not so much since i started my company… but still a lil bit.

sometimes i wish i had a blogger way back in 96… when shit was starting to get real fuckin funny… right before my senior year… and there were countless halarious ass stories. oh well…

anyway…

some people have only heard about the bumble bee story… but they dont know what tha fuck it is… and i have FINIALLY stoped bullshitin… and put it on this site… it used to be on my free site ( the old version still is ) but that shit is SUPER SLOW… you get what you fuckin pay for i suppose. but i decided to move this shit the day calvin MADE ME go into fuckin black planet chat and somebody reconized my name and told the whole room that i was the person that wrote the bumble bee story… i honestly could not believe how many people had read that shit. i used to get sparatic notes about on bp and all kinda shit.

So… the Bumble Bee Story has been renamed to The World Famous Bumble Bee Story. The people who was there when i first published it know what im talkin about lol

View the WFBBS


gotdamn fuckin shit it should really be against the law for these hot dogs that im eating to be this fuckin good!

miricale whip, mustard, relish… dog right offa the george foreman grill ( yes you can cook hot dogs on that shit! ).. mmm i am really havin a good time…

speaking of shit that should be against the law.

obvious ass knock offs…

such as the fake Coach print… that shit is CLEARLY a G… and its not GUESS or some shit called GOACH or some bullshit like that. everybody who has some fake ass coach print shit be thrown the fuck in jail!! fuck man… who do you think youre fooling? honestly! its a fuckin G!!! shit…nobody makes print like that except for Coach. i really wish i would stop seeing these shits for sale… and sadly… i do know somebody with a fake ass coach ( goach ) purse… her bad. anyway… shit such as NK AIR… what? gotdammit stop it!!

F05U ??? FUBU05?? FB05 probably from of tha makers of NK AIR lol. sigh… nobody is going for that shit. even muhfuckas who cant afford that shit knows.

what about the louie vaton shit that has no LV in the print? well that might be so obvious at first glance… but once a person takes a closer look… the cat is immediatly out the damn bag.

i wonder do the people who buy this shit think they are getting over? they should be thrown the fuck in jail for thinkin the masses are THAT gotdamn dumb. and yes… i do realize i could be proven wrong eventually.

Exit pop ups

i understand a couple of fuckin pop ups… web pages are expensive ( lol i should know ) but fuck… ANOTHER one after i obviously wanted to close the first fuckin one? gotdamn man! foreal… stop that shit. for the sake of the internet… shit is worse than vegas.

Pork

this nasty shit should be illegal as fuck… pigs have no veins gotdammit! they eat shit… eat the shit they shit… sleep in shit… play in shit… bathe in shit… they are saturated with shit!!! it says in the bible not to eat pork ( swine ). as a matter of fact… i think it says that shit in EVERY holy book. just because its thousands of years later… is it ok now? coventing thy neighbors wife still doesnt ride, stealng still is a sin, killin muhfuckas is still a sin… what makes pork an exception? pigs can get bite by a snake and not die… no other animal on this planet can pull that shit off. but a pig will turn around and thank the snake for letting it know that it was there and proceed to eat that muthafucka. how good for you can some shit be if a snake can bite it and there are no ill effects. pigs piss thru their holves… thats why pigs feet water be yellow as fuck. ITS PISS IN THERE MAN! every part of the pig is consumed… EVERY PART.. how nasty is that shit? and speaking of nasty shit… chitterlings… this has to be the nastiest shit on the planet ever in life. how can muthafuckas eat something that smells THAT FUCKING BAD when you prepare it… and time out… why do you have to CLEAN them shits?? BECAUSE ITS INTESTINE!!! THERE IS SHIT IN THERE MUTHAFUCKA!!! SHIT!!! DEFICATION!!! FUCKING FECIS!!! a muhfucka has to clean the SHIT out of the INSTESTINE of a pig… then turns around and eats that nasty shit… fuckin ugh. thats just like eating asshole. seriously. but hey… you are what you eat muthafuckas.

People born in march

yes… every person ( mainly females ) born in the month of march should be thrown in jail just on GP. ( please dont gimmie no shit… its a joke dammit… difficult muthafuckas, just a friendly cheap shot at 64% of the women i know )

People who Hate the Lakers

thats just like saying you hate God’s Team. BLASPHAMY!!

Being a Jive Turkey

this should really be against the law… because no matter where you go. absoletely no one likes a jive turkey.

People who hate the Raiders

This should be illeagal because in some places in califorina it is actually unheatly to hate the raiders and be open about it, simply because raider fans are some rowdy muthafuckas. worse than the bottom of the barrell fuckin philly fans who would boo God himself if the dirty muthafuckas got the oppertunity. lol ok we arent THAT BAD. but raider fans are fuckin violent. and thats just it. i would like to see a fight between some philly fans ( any team or sport in philly ) and the raider fans… the punk ass philly fans would just probably booo and throw snow balls as they get they asses whooped. anyway… being that being open about not being a raider fan can get you fucked up… the great fans of the raiders who put on the ass whoopin clinic would probably have to do some jail time and miss the game… therefore… if its illegal to hate the raiders… then no raider fan would ever miss a game due to whoopin a denver/kc/sea/dallas/rams fans ass.

biting

blatent obvious ass biting other peoples shit should also be against tha muthafuckin law… insperation is one thing… a trend is also one damn thing… but just copying a muthafucka shit? switching it up a tad? but it looks or sounds hella similar?? with out the orginators fuckin permission?? psshh throw them muthafuckas in jail.

it should be against the law to be this blowed…


i guess marketing does work sometime…

the last three times ive been to walmart ( one of the most crackinest places ever… i should honestly write about walmart ) ive gone to the hygine (sp) section and looked for Axe body deordorant… that shit with the commercial where they spray that shit… and females lose they gotdamn mind and molest the person who has it on… yea that shit lol yes… i bought the damn hype lol… but anyway… back to my fricken story.

so the last three times ive tried to pick some up… why in the fuck is there NEVER any there?!?!? ( apprantly alot of people bought the hype ) they have a spot for the shit… and the shelves be fuckin empty!! or either the only bottles left are the one that nobody likes ( because honestly that one thats always left over, doenst crack all that much ) and the more popular ones… BUT them shits is always fuckin half empty from muhfuckas trying to smell that shit in the store!!! but i guess three times is indeed a charm… or the time you say fuck it and take a L… because this time i picked up two bottles of that shit…

i got ” Voodoo ” one and the ” Kilo ” one. ive only used the voodoo and i put that shit on before i went to the mall… but sadly… i wasnt molested lol… but muhfuckas was lookin at me like they knew me… but that always happens… so nothin really happens when you put that shit on. other than you thinking that you smell nothing short of hella great.

but fuck it lol… it does smell hella good so it cracks.

i recommend any male who happens to read this shit… go pick some up ( if you can find some ) it cracks.


i hate talkin on the phone… but i love when people get the wrong number or solicitors call…

that brightens my day… i swear…

i just got a call on my cell phone…

” high… is this womens world weekly? ”

me: ” no… this is oj… at home… ”

” oh, sorry oj. *laugh*”

*click*

*ring ring ring*

me: ” its still oj at home…. ”

” damn… sorry ”

lol heh…

i love messin with people on the phone…


first off…. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

but man… if i didnt know what slizzard was before… i have found out the meaning tonite lol

the oj is folded.

speaking of oj (me)… i been thinking… imma stop going by oj for a min…

i will now respond to the name Joe.

Joe Smith… simple and plan… easy to remember, easy to forget.

it cracks… or… a muhfucka could call me Joey Banannas ( this could change soon ).

it cracks!

i had fun tonite… the homie drew ( and D and Jesus ) had me out at club soho, downtown LA, and tonite… was asian night. I was the tallest muthafucka there. i was even taller than the security. and… i felt very outta place lol. but it was hella cool… i had fun, probably due to the long island ice tea and the BLACK RUSSIAN ( COMMRADE!!! ) i had. woooooooooo. one thing tho… i have never seen so many people off beat in my damn life. it was still fun tho.

lastly, i would like to say all praises due to Allah for getting me thru this year ( some what sane… and very paid!! ) and gettin me home, because i was kinda folded. But good thing for me i have been blessed with intoxication driving mascrade make believe youre sober – dont fuck nothing up skills. and some how… if im a lil bit too buzzed… i can drive striaght. i actually think i drive better when im not sober. but dont tell noooobody.

happy new year people!

Joey Bizzell — who needs to purchase some butter for his waffels in the morning.