May 2002 - Uhmah Park

I hate all the heat in my apt a muhfucka ever wanted to fuckin have….

it STAY hot in this bitch unless i turn the damn AC on…

it feel like the Devil himself stay UPSTAIRS n shit.

i dont even have the benifit of living above hell… it feels like i live under hell…

its hotter than a church in mississippi… in july

its hotter than a german furnace ( sp )… stole that from Brutha Dub…. time out… after ALL these years… i JUST got that joke… and that nigga is goin to hell…. lol

dont get me wrong…. i like the heat… i like tha SUN… i dont like to fuckin BAKE… if its gonna be hot it gotta have my Black ass outside… then its ok… but in the house… stickin to a leather chair?!?!! fuck that…

i feel like im havin my own personal summer in addition to the one already goin on outside…

there is NO REASON for it to be 2 AM and blazing hot in my apt with ALL the lights out…

TRUE i sit in front of two monitors… but STILL!!! even when i turn these hoes off it dont help a muthafuckin thing.

niggas is fustrated.


If you didnt know, i shall inform dat ass.

Today, is National OJ observance day… Commonly known as Memorial day. But not so commonly known on this very day in 1979… May 27th… 5 Days in Gemini Season… 23 years ago… the nations day to remember those lost in battle was substituted for a more……… hm… shit… some better shit… that shit is depressing. And so along came ME, on memorial day ( now National OJ observance day ), that sunny day in 1979. And with the birth of me came Sunny days ( damn near gaurenteed ), a day off from work… and a good ass reason to BBQ and spend time with your friends and family at somebodys park/house/apt

doesnt get much better than that people.

Today… i spent National OJ observance day with my Family ( inclusive of my room mate / best friend / business partner syl ) and that was it… i BBQ’d. everybody liked my cooking… i thought they was gonna talk shit for some reason… ive havent cooked for my family in a long time.

I hope every one had a blessed National OJ Observance day.

id like to give big birthday shots to my Twin in Crime, Tha Killa Cal ( id link his page but im tired and too lazy to lol ).That bastards birthday is a day before mine and he likes to remind me of it often. But we all know who is the Fresher of me and him……… yea.. And to Vee… my friend in toronto who also has a birthday on this same day.

and the lady that submits commits on this site sometimes as well ( i think her name is trina? im sleepy and dont feel like checking lol ).. her birthday is also today. thumbs up.

i was gonna come with some new shit for this site. But i work at least 11 hours a day ( damn near had to work today… should have… anyway… ), even tho im in front of my shit all the time… i steadly try to complete a endless list of task. Which dont leave me much time to work on my shit. but… soon. I will be changin the main site and this shit, possibly commin with a new name. ill also be adding some shit that ive been workin on. i need to hurry up… i been seeing people do things with there site that ive been planning to do for a cool min. Not sayin that people are bitting, they arent… they just beat me to it lol… aint like i was tellin people what i wanted to do…. but i still need to buss my shit… anyway.

lastly.

People always ask me… hey… what is Five27? what does it mean?

well… for those who it wasnt real obvious too lol…

Five 27 ( 5 – 27 / May 27th ) is the only holiday i celerbrate ( National OJ observance day lol ).

been like that since… shit… i can remember..


Epiphany?

did i spell that right?

anyway….

im sittin here working… and i just had a truth come to me.

Truth:

– It is possible for a Man to get a Female to do damn near anything for him. He just cant ask her directly.

Fucked up aint it?

and females wonder why they have to put up with so much bullshit… because YALL muthafuckas is FULLA SHIT!!

i know what some people who may happen to read this is thinkin… oh… this guy right here is having female problems… ha ha.

well no… the oj is not having female problems…. not more than tha next muhfucka at least.

that shit just hit me just now… thats all.

most shit you want a female to do…. when you want it done… you really cant ask for it directly. lol try it and see if that shit works.

NEVER fucking does.

shit is fucking irritating.


i hate that show six feet under…

simply because the show starts off fucked up…

in the beggining of EVERYshow… a muhfucka die!

every show… somebody dies… in the beggining of every show…

that could have VERY WELL been my Black ass this last august… when i was in the hospital… bleeding to damn death.

i could picture that shit… they show me walkin around for a week with a hurt stomach, each day… loosing more and more color… stomach hurting worse and worse… then finially on friday, i damn near pass out like 5 times… and then finailly go to the hostipal… and pass out in the lobby at the nurse window…

……….. fade to black, and the screen says

OJ SMITH – MAY 27 1979 – AUGUST 14 2001

and then… that CREEPY ass music starts to play… and there is no more oj… and during the course of the show,my dad and the rest of my family, would have tripped on the white people on the show as SOON as they said something inappropreate, or that pisses one of them off… they would have been all kinda sorry ass devils, old ass devils, and every other type of devil or mutant. shit would have been ugly. and i could just picture me being a ghost on that dumb ass show, talkin shit to that one dude…

like man… im dead… what in the FUCK is your problem?? how can YOU see ME? you strange son of a bitch…lol what kinda muhfucka really has conversations with dead ass people? what could you possibly gain from this conversation? why dont Black people ever see dead people? why cant i talk to somebody that i can relate to? why i gotta talk to a nerdy ass white boy. you arent not even straight… we cant even gwak at the females that go to the funerals or no shit… id be pissed off the whole fuckin show. and then during one the soft gay porn scences… psshh… id REALLY be fuckin cussin. like ahhh HELL MUTHAFUCKIN NAW… take that shit in tha other room man!! ugh…

fuck that damn show…

that show IS NOT good…

that shit is fuckin creepy.

i dont giva fuck what nobody say.

watch the daymon wayes show… my family and kids… or the bernie mac show… or… shit… ummm the geroge lopez show ( i think its called )… somethin…


sigh…

looks like i will spend my summer in the punk ass valley this summer.

i suspect that i will be overwhellmingly muthafuckin bored and attempt conpensate my bordem by buyin shit that i really dont need.

when what i really need to be doing is saving my duckets ( lol remember that word? ) and repairing my credit.

but since i will be in tha sorry ass valley… i think imma have a very hard time on focusing on my credit situation.

i dont think it would be so damn bad if i didnt hate my aptartment so much.

some people ask me… they say… oj… if you hate your apts so much… why dont you move?

i say… well… i have terrible ass credit… and so does my room mate. i make enough… credit just sucks…

then they say… oh… well… why dont you leave and go out more?

i say… well… this may sound like a sorry ass excuse… but trying to pull out of the drive way of my building is dangerious as fuck… because i cant see the cars comming from EITHER FUCKING SIDE. so it kinda puts a big ass RISK on tryin to leave this muhfucka. why cant i see? because the city zoning and enginering ( sp… good lord ) is super folded. and there are NO RED ZONES by the drive ways…. there is suppose to be AT LEAST 100 ft. of red zone…( flexes the degree that i dont use ), i think ( ive been out of practice for far too long lol, i can barely operate cad lol )

time out… say oj… i thought you were moving…

oh yes i was… i ( we… me and syl )was approved and everything. but there was this lady… she was moving out… but all of a sudden………….. her son is diagnosed with cancer. she put in her notice and everything… but now she cant move, shes super stressed and everything else. of course i could be like fuck that… you put in your gotdamn notice… kick rocks… but im not tha fuckin devil, so i will not be doing anything of the sort.

but fuck… the beach… 10 min away… from the damn beach… nice area… in los angeles… not THAT much traffic… LOW RENT…. time out… did i say los angeles? i meant veince… veince fuckin beach, yea thats right…. not exactly on the beach… or even THAT close ( because thats too much traffic ) 10 min away… and thats only because of all tha damn lights. its far enough yet close enough… closer than i was a year ago… did i mention low rent and the beach?

sigh… im disapointed… i dont wanna stay in the valley…

but fuck it… i love the sun…and the valley gets more than a muhfucka ever wanted.

i just pray i dont have to sign another year lease at this muhfucka… ugh.


The OJ has health insurance now

( woooooo )

i broke in my air force uno’s… i just said fuck it and put them muhfuckas on and walked till it didnt hurt no more…. now… i dont have to buy them k swiss… but i will be getting these here jordans . only problem is… i was tryin to stop rockin so much blue… but fuck it. those crack.

( woooooooo some more )

and lastly… i just came from the baskin robins around the corner, i walked… was breakin in the air force uno’s… during the course of this post… the oj has just dogged a whole quart of strawberry cheese cake ice cream…. every time i get a quart of this shit… i always say… ok… dont eat the whole thing… dont eat tha whole thing… save some for later… then… 20 min later… i gotta num tounge… im scrappin the bottom of the cotainer and pissed off because its all gone…

but none the less… WWWOOOOOOOOOOOOO again!!!


lol drea be on it.

Drea says:

lite-skinned kid wit tha fro was on Road Rules…he had dreadz at tha time and was datin that white chick with tha brown hair…the same one with that indian girl who was real bitchy.

never saw tha shit lol so i didnt know anybetter lol.

in other news… kwasi’s mind is finially at ease lol


Saw:

Changing Lanes – Good movie i suppose… i wouldnt watch it again… not that it sucked… i mean… shit… forwhat? ( if youve seen it you can probably understand my point ). To tell the truth, thats just not tha kinda person i am… i cant watch movies like this more than once. But if you havent seen it… go see it… Sam L is one of my favorite actors.

Tha Ladies Man- finially… lol that shit was tha fuckin guts

Duce Bigalo, Male Gigalo- once again… finially saw this shit… twas tha damn guts too…

Bamboozeled- Hm… now… i saw two funny movies ( ladies man and duce bigalo ) then i saw this movie… and damn… it kinda murdered tha laughing mood i was in. but its cool… this was a good movie… id watch it again. when it first came out i heard bad things about it… and it wasnt playin NO where near me… closest place was like a hour away… and by the time it got to video i forgot about it.

anyway… everybody needs to see this damn movie… because tha shit still applies… i damn near took down this blogger after it was over. but i still maintain that this shit is for my entertainment, i go back and read tha shit i write… fymf.

tha shit that cracked off in tha movie applies to most black entertainment today… word tha hell up.

Music

Found the Special Deleivery remix with Ghost… tha uncencored version ( i hate radio versions of anything. ). That shit is FUCKIN HARD.

i like different shit… and dell put a nigga up on some Massive Attack ( actually tha homie dru did… but i was tryin to hear that shit then… i have to do shit on my own terms ) and i been bumpin that for a min… and that nigga Calvin ask me tha other day about portishead. Dru was tellin me that they was pretty damn fresh too but i forgot all about em… anyway… Calvin downloaded a few tracks… and i ASKED him to share with a nigga… but he has been bullshiting for…….. umm… this is day 3 of bullshit from tha killa… so i went on my own lil rampage on Winmx ( Napster Reincarnated… i love this damn thing ). got me a ganga portishead shit… ill probably never listen to it all.

i have 2 gigs of hot shit that i have yet to go thru yet…

i got ashanti’s whole album… wasnt for me tho… its for syl. i been tryin to tell her i heard this shit sucks.. but she dont wanna hear me… so i snatched it… we’ll see… i guess i can listen to it.

Nirvana… i havent heard a song from these fools that i didnt like yet… i guess im about to tho… some guy on winmx has damn near everything they ever made… and i estimate in another couple of hours… i too will have everything those guys ever recorded… ( or at least a healthy portion )

Sublime… these guys get live too… never heard a song from them i didnt like either… ill work on them tommorrow.

Ras Kass… dude album need to come out before i have to choke the shit outta somebody…

Mos Def… Heard his shit is being pushed back because ( the name of his label goes here ) isnt payin him like he wanna be paid i suppose… lol i get a daily email from allhiphop.com ( even tho i dont ever remember signing up for that shit ) it said that mos said in a interview… slavery ended a long time ago and somebody needs to tell them fools that… or something to that effect… it was pretty gutty.

DJ Diesel Boy… This guy lol thas tha homie… i used to not like drum and bass… but he has put me on to some shit ( his tracks… fuckin bastard lol )… its pretty decent… somethin new for me. that shit be havin my walls shakin… and i apperciate anything that makes my walls thump ( for the most part ).

Mob Hits… i love them old frank sinatra, dean martin , sammy d cuts… i be walkin around singin them shits… and when im in tha car i be singin violent ass melodys on how imma run over pedestrians, shot people in the car in front of me bullshitin and other road rage hymes lol.

Jimi… got some new jimi… it should crack… i need to go thru my jimi folder… i know i got some repeats and bad sound songs in there.

P funk… speaking of goin thru folders… i just went thru my p funk folder and deleted all my duplicates and bad sound tracks… MAN i love me some p funk… and just old ass Funk Classics period… that shit helps me work… GET UP FOR THE DOWN STROKE!!!

Aceyalone… why in tha FUCK can i not find the whole ” A book of human launguage ” anywhere? i cant even buy that shit from anywhere… that shit is starting to piss me off… im missing like 4 tracks…

Spoken word… I hate spoken word… well… not hate… just really dont like… i dont like poetry.. and yes… i am aware that hiphop is poetry yap yap yap… i just cant fuck with it for some reason… i dont like def poetry, and i just know saul williams by name. its not wack… dont get me wrong… its just not my cup of tea. With that said… i do find it odd that Aceyalone and Mos Def are two of my favorite MCs. go figure…

Guy… lets chill… thats my shit… lol

Dance hall… Ah man… the homie OD gets BUSY on the mixed tapes… imma have to buss a link to his site. this guy has two cd’s he put together that are fuckin bangin… he even made a couple beats on tha shit that are pretty live. Nigga did tha whole shit on his computer… which is pretty admerable.. because ive tried tha same shit and dammit… its fuckin hard… dude mixed tha whole thing on his shit. hats off… that shit is difficult. he is about to come with a third cd and this man is swearing buy it… it should crack… i have faith lol. AND TOO good lookin on tha part of tha homie Drea… she be puttin me up on some tight shit too. even tho i be havin to look for tha shit my self and she dont wanna send me shit lol.

SoulChaser… Speaking of mixed tapes… Dj OhSoKool ( i think i spelled his shit wrong )also has a mixed tape out called SoulChaser volume one. ( www.soulchaser.net i think… copy and paste muhfuckas im lazy ) its pretty smackin. i have some shit very similar to this called ” Tha Waxxion Collection ” its kinda deep… but im not tryin to put that shit out ( or at least i dont intend to ). Soul Chaser is basicly slow songs mixed together on one cd… it cracks. Tha homie also has a radio show in NY thats pretty live too.

DJ Qbert… gets pretty live

Blade 2 Sound track… half of it is decent… i liked it.

Save Your Love For Me… by Nancy Wilson Featurin Cannonball Aderley ( spelled that hella wrong ). Dammit… this is one of my top 10 favorite songs ( thats not hiphop ) ever.

Total… man what ever happen to them? fuck what you heard… this is my favorite R & B group of all time… second to another well known trio of course… but i have to keep that to my self. because i dont feel like people talkin more shit to me than they have… plus i got my own reasons… anyway… Total is tha shit… both albums they came out with were tight… i dont care what anyfuckinbody says. Kissing You and Beautiful are 2 of my top 10 favorite songs of all time ( that arent hiphop of course lol ) sadly… both of my damn Total Cd’s were fuckin Stolen… so imma have to get my download on… ( moment of silence for my gaffeled cd’s ). i think imma have a tad bit of trouble finding that shit… if any reader of this weblog is willing to hook a nigga up or make some kinda deal… i got what you need lol… ( feel like tha dope man ) get at me. o@five27.com

dj quik… has some new shit out called trouble thats pretty tight

jay z… i dont know where tha fuck this came from or who album its on… but its calld guess whos back… shit is tight…

e 40 and b legit… lol i guess im just a cali product… because this shit be bangin to me… and its werid because i usually dont like northern cali shit. shit… i barely like northern cali period lol. but thats just a califorina thing… people from northern cali hate southern cali… cant imagine why for the life of me tho… it sucks up there.

lisa lopez… ive seen her name spelled lopes and lopez… which one is it? i always thought it was lopez? RIP… her death is unfortunate… and she will be missed by her friends and family… i didnt know her personally and im not about to pretend to… i just knew one person that knew her… and im pretty sure he is gonna miss her. TLC is tha shit… ive always liked TLC. i was waiting for thier next album to drop.. i heard it still was… but i dont know.

Ceelo… man… that shit is VERY soulful… tha most soulful hiphop album ever possibly lol. Good lookin on the part of non other than tha Killa him self ( Calvin ) event ho he bullshited on that portishead he was suppose to send a nigga… fuckin bastard lol.

lastly…

Ice Cube… sigh… this guy needs to make another Death Certificate or somethin similar to that era of music he was puttin out at that time. just please jump back on some i dont giva steaming shit, shit. but i can understand why he aint doin that shit no more… im pretty sure he’s makin WAY more money doin tha radio friendly shit he’s doin now. nigga get movie deals n shit now… psshh fuck it… id probably do tha same shit. but fuck.. at least can niggas get together and put out that NWA album that was suppose to come out?!?! shit lol im dyin over here lol

i think ive typed enough.


lol corny ass commercial…

and now… we join oj and kwasi, while they discuss the newest commercial by k swiss….

The OJ: i wear my k swiss……….

The Unsinkable: LMFAO

The Unsinkable: hella naw

The OJ: i….. wear……. my k swiss…

The Unsinkable: that’s commercial is so retarded

The OJ: lol man help me… i think imma fall victim to marketing

The OJ: lol that shit is corny

The Unsinkable: hahahahhahahahhahahahaha

The Unsinkable: who is the light skinned kid wit the fro

The Unsinkable: i know him from somewhere

The Unsinkable: but i can not remember

The OJ: damn…

The OJ: im not knowin….

The OJ: it looked a lil hot for him to have a fro with a warm up on tho

The Unsinkable: haha

The OJ: they got some pretty beat to shit females on that commercial too

The Unsinkable: lol

The OJ: one of them females look like they had bitter beer face…

The OJ: oh yea… kkarma was lookin for you

The Unsinkable: haha…she got me

The OJ: lol

The OJ: and after all that… i still wanna pair of k swiss…

The Unsinkable: lmfao

The Unsinkable: i forbid it

The OJ: i got me some white low top air force uno’s but the left one fucks my foot tha fuck up… i cant even put pressure on it… that shit HURTS lol… so i think imma be forced to get me some all white k swiss lol

The Unsinkable: hahahhahaha

The Unsinkable: just stop it oj

The Unsinkable: u gonna make me hop a flight to la

The OJ: LOL

The Unsinkable: wait the boss is flying out tomorrow so don’t make me put a hit out on u

The Unsinkable: lol

The OJ: lol damn… lol

The OJ: if it mean that much to you lol

The OJ: but if it means anything to you… i was considering gettin a pair before that corny ass commercial lol

The OJ: i had some shell toes last year… so i was gonna switch em up this year lol

The Unsinkable: hahaha

The Unsinkable: well if u had the motivation before the commercial then it’s permissable

The Unsinkable: lol

The OJ: well thank ya al mighty unsinkable

The Unsinkable: you’re welcome my son

The Unsinkable: lol

The OJ: LOL

now back to the Laker game.


i am convienced that i only see really funny shit in the company of one of my cousins.

and thats just it.

Rialto CA, last weekend –

last weekend i went to my parents house in Alta Loma for the weekend… got there… wasnt shit really going on except a buncha television viewing, so i was like fuck it… went to my cousin Reefer Bandermans newly aquired house ( went to jd’s house ). Really wasnt a damn thing goin on there either except some the late playoff game that was showing and just me and this guy shooting the shit.

About half time i noticed that i had left my cell phone charger at home…

FUCK!

so this nigga JD suggest that we go to walmart to get a car charger.

We get to walmart and see the following things:

some short guy… with a serious ass pot belly… and a shirt on that was obviously too small… discribed by JD as ” nigga… that man shirt size looks like it reads Extra Medium ” ( that shit is still fuckin funny i dont giva fuck lol )

some guy working there that needed a hand brake for his damn tounge because he had the longest lisp ever… that shit was bad…. dude said… ovvvvvvvvvvvver tttthhhhhhhhhhhhere

( this joke is strickely for southern califorinans ) i had been tellin some of the homies about this shit… and nobody really believed me… but now i have a witness… walmart has a comforter ( comforter = blanket for the dumb asses ) that is a big ass red bandana…. no… im not bullshiting at all… if i can find a king size one i swear ill buy one. its a big ass red rag… the whole bandana pattern and everything… i wish i could find a blue one… it would be on lol.

so we find a charger and go to the check out line… i look over about 5 or 6 check out lines… and i see a 6 foot ghetto queen… with bleach blonde hair and a BUNCHA make up on… i said to my self… ah hell naw… fuck that… i have to get a closer look… so i went and got in what appeared to be HER line…. sooooon as me and jd got in “her” line… dammit… why did this muhfucka look like that murray pulvich (sp) episode just WAITING to happen…. you know those one shows he be havin…. can you tell the sex of this person? man… i was in this line baffeled the whole time… but i was soon distracted by my cousin jd and his uncontrollable laughter… this “lady” looked like a killer ghetto clown… no joke. JD had to eventually get OUT of the line and go kick it by the door and just let the tears run down his face. as for me… i stood my ground… and tried not to stare… but as i got closer and closer, her hands got bigger… voice got deeper…. and she started to look real rugged… and i could only help but think she took somebody on jerry springer and hit them wit that extra hot plate of REVERSE information…. like… i know we been together for a min and all… but ummm… IMMA MAN!!! … yea… it look like who ever she told didnt take too kindly to that shit and “she” recieved an ass kicking shortly after providing that cruical peice of information to which ever dumb ass that she was with lol.

woo… so after that shit got old… i turn to my right… tryin to stop from staring lol… and what do i see? this girl, or lady. with the OLD OLD OLD salt and peppa hair style… salts shit… from when they FIRST hit the scene… the back of her head was shaved with a triangle design in that shit…. i couldnt believe it… i thought i was fuckin 8 all over again… and to make the murder complete… ol girl had on a white bomber jacket… you know that shit with tha fur along the hood?? i damn near lost it lol… only thing she was missin was big ass gold earrings and a fuckin brick phone. but she did think she was tha shit… it was too much for me… i had to just purchase my shit and leave walmart with my head to the ground. i didnt wanna risk seein shit else… i was done for the day.

BUT!

the next morning… ( the night before i went to the chicken head club and got super drunk saw a ganga old friends and had many laughs ) flirting with a hang over and half damn sleep… once again… me and jd lol… went to the donut store around the corner… commin out of the donut store… jd looks over and says… oh wow… this guys sweats are young ( meaning his sweats were too little). i look to catch this fashion violation…. and no… his sweats wasnt too little ( this nigga jd had just woke up too plus he didnt have his glasses lol ) but this man had his sweats… tucked in his SOCKS!!! something TOO TUFF!! i mean not just tucked… but stuffed… just all the exsess material from the sweats was pulled and stuffed in his damn socks… his socks was all buldgy n shit lol… ah man…

anyway… after all this… im just happy i can drink and my stomach wont kick my in my black ass ( because a nigga does have an ulcer )… now i just hope i dont over do it lol.