February 2002 - Uhmah Park

im cool on the good ol days homie

talk that shit if you want to.

people complain about how bad shit is sometime…

dont realize that shit could go back to the way it was…

real easy.

think about it…

what would you do?

really… what would you do.

be on some fuck that shit?

90% of the population, really aint ready to die for what they believe in.

most people… would just be mad.

in thier desinated spot.


i wonder what is it about me… that i see so much off shit.

last night… i was taking a break, just stretching… walking around my room.

and then… i decided to turn on the tv to watch my favorite show… sportscenter.

i turned on the tv and it was on KTLA ( channel five- the wb )

and in my scramble for The Great Remotedini. i find that shit… and i look up and see these two midgets in suits…

? why are these midgets in suits?

so i start to pay attention to these to weee little guys.

why are they selling the no money no licence no credit real estate program?!?!?!

at first i thought it was an old in living color skit or some shit…

but no!!!ITS REAL!!

these two midgets are really the spokes people for the easy money real estate program!! i couldnt believe that shit… ah man i laughed so damn hard…

these two muhfuckas are on here… endorsing this great way to make money… in a house… where ALLLLL the furniture is bigger than them! man… one of them lil muhfuckas had his elbow on a glass coffee table… posted up… nodding to what the other one was saying… like “yup!” ahhh SHIT!! i cant take it

its not really THIER program… they just enrolled and was sucsessful ( i guess… i cant think of any other reason you would want two 3 footers promoting your shit )… and now… they are the spokes people. man… that shit was tha guts… and after lookin for so long… i start to notice that they are twins… and they BOTH look like Warren Batey ( you know… the dude that played Dick Tracey? ) man… i had me a nice lil laugh off that shit.

if you dont believe me man… go look at the site click here.

they are posted on the front.

and you cant tell from the picture… but one is taller than the other one. lol

damn i cant tell you why i find this shit so funny… but i can barely hold it together…

the shorter one… is looking at the taller one… and they both have no necks ( is this a midget thing? like the economy sized human? just cut out all the parts that stretch ) and i guess they have to stand close together because the camera guy had to zoom in on the both of em. so the shorter one is lookin at the taller one and he has is head all tilted back… and his back arched back like the wind is blowing hella hard…

i dont know when imma get over this shit… this shit was a tad bit too funny to me

ahh man…

but hey fuck it…

thats good marketing… because… if THEY can make millions… you surely can make at least 500 g’s with out tryin man lol. foreal… if your in tha market to purchase a home… and you see these two lil muhfuckas ready to show you a house… reguardless of how nice or cheap the house is… your gonna think twice and wonder what in tha fuck is goin on. im not sayin you wouldnt get tha shit… but your gonna think somethin aint right…

but hey… i guess midgets have to make a living too

lol there is so much shit they just cant do lol…

could they ring you up at tha grociery store?? … no

could they even bag your groceries? …. no

could they work in retail? sell you a grill or some shit? how do YOU know its top of the line lil homie?!?!? you cant see the top of the grill!!!

they cant work in consturction

resturants…. how they gonna take your drink and refill it? they cant see that its empty when they walk up on your table.

they cant fix cars

they cant work at 7-11… mcdonalds, burger king.

you ever wonder where most midgets work anyway?

there used to be a midget that stayed in my old apts…

the rent was pretty damn high there… even for the one bedrooms…

what in the hell did she do??

she had a hell of a time gettin in the door… gettin the mail out of her box ( she had the bottom box… and YES i helped her with the door when i saw her sturggling ) she had a lil mazda… with a boster seat… tha seat was SUPER close to the stiring whell n shit…. and the plates said LILQTEE ( lil cutie… or something to that effect ) i almost sufficated when i saw that shit.

anyway….

those easy relestate commericals are the guts…

you ever notice they show some REALLY suspect people who have made thousands of dollars….

like man… you just said… “uuhhh with dis hea progrum… i done made me bout seven hurdred thousands dollars…. in 1 year… dis hea progrum doneded changed my life… before… i was workin my fangers to the bone… now… all i do with my fangers is press the buttons on my calcultor machine to add my checks together”

or… they put somebody up there with the worst accent ever… dont matter where they from… long as thier accent is thicker than fuckin telephone book…

so that has YOU thinkin… well shit… if these idiots did it… i can fuckin clean up!!!

so much hype.

lol

why do i know 3 people with similar “progrums” that aint doin SHIT with em lol and they be tryin to either sell it to other people… or make copies… so them and somebody else can do it together.

lol

anyway… just thought id share…


eh..

other than valentines day havin a ganga pink shit involed ( and red shit too cuzz *private joke* ) i actually like valentines day…. usually i get plenty affection on valentines day.

and for the first time… in a long time ( probably ever ) i only had ONE valentine…

i never saw this shit commin…

its cool tho…

only wanted one… couldnt handle no more this go round lol

and besides…. i had a good day. ( wooooo )

even tho i was working most day ( only means more money… wooooo some more ).

its probably the last time ever…. ( even if im married with rugrats )

wont really be some shit i can help. just tha way shit happens…

its cool tho… i dont mind… long as i dont ever have to buy expesive gifts lol

only person i like to buy shit for is my self…

i have a hard time spending money on females who doent deserve it. and it takes so much to deserve a present from my black ass lol. i just cant do it.

if she deserves it… pshhh i dont care how much i spend.

but if a muhfucka want some shit on gp??? ah hell naw… i couldnt even bring my self to perchase a halmark.

im not cheap… i just dont perchase affection.

fuck that…

anyway…

today i was in the mall…

and i saw this guy….

this big guy…. dude was about six four… carcasian ( i reliezed i spelled this fucked up in my last post… and probably spelled it fucked up here to ) long hair… hairy face… and enough stomach to hold a 3rd grader in….

not a regular ass stomach…

it looked like he had swallowed a fuckin wrecking ball… and it was all GUT and POUCH… like… tha fat was just posted on his legs. it wasnt one of those fat guys who have titties…

it was one of those fat guys who looks they are pregnat with a fuckin kid ( baby goat for the slow muhfuckas ).

so… i saw dude out of the corner of my eye… and i looked… and noticed he had flowers in his hand.

?

i dont know man…. but to me… it kinda looked like somebody was about to endure yet another day of being stalked by this guy.

or

it looked like somebody was about to embark on the first reason, of many, on aquiring a restraing order against this guy.

or

how you seen mad tv? when they do that skit….. ” Lowered Expectations “?? …real life case, right there.

man… im not one to talk about big people really… but this guy was fricken gross ( yea i said fricken ) not only was he shaped like a pear…. but he had a neck jerking odor. you know the odor where your head trys to get out of the way/turn away before you body can react? yea man…. dude was hair n shit. and the buttons at the bottom of his shirt was givin it all they had.

muhfucka just waldeling around lil kids holding hands n shit.

twas kinda tha guts.


I swear so much bullshit happens to me.

and i have witnesses…. syl, my cousins, my sister just to name a few.

i always either SEE some retarded shit… or some dumb shit HAPPENS to me.

Buss this bullshit.

The other day… me and syl went over to Burbank, to Ikea over at the media center spot. we got out the car and we are walking thru the parking lot structure…

we get to the entrance to the stucture… and there are some cars leaving the parking structure ( like we were trying to do )

then… this rav4 pulls right in front of us…

trying to make a left out of the parking structure….

ok… when i say the rav4 pulls up right in front of us…

we were about to cross the section desinated for cars to drive to: find parking, enter and exit the parking structure. you know… the driving paths…

so we look to our left… and here this old lady in this rav4 pulls right in front of us like we wasnt standing there…

ok…

she stops RIGHT in front of us seemingly trying to exit the parking structure, waiting her turn to exit the parking structure.

so since the lady pulls right in front of us… we have to walk around the rav4… we walk around the back…

im HALF WAY PASSED the car…

and what do i see?!?!?!?!!

the reverse lights come on

? Crackadar went off….

i quickly noticed that there was only ONE black person in the area…

including me.

fuck that… im tall and going into a store where there is more than likely 7 black people max??!!? naw… i am too easy to spot out… 6’6” very pissed off black guy… bald, slim, he had on orange??? lol fuck it… that shit would have been easy as fuck

so i gave her a couple of more stupid muthafuckas…

no… never called her the dumb bitch she actually was…. that would have just pissed me off more.

so i just walked off… pissed off…

and kinda paranoid… lol

i almost got fuckin ran over.

actually im still mad about that shit…

if i was IN Los Angeles….

that shit would have proabably turned out different depending on where a nigga was.. shit… even in fontana or the IE….

let another muhfucka try to run a nigga down… its on… put that on tha set lol

i will flip a muhfucka car over


I WANT THESE!!!!

man… the black and blue ones… and the all white ones

AAAAHHHHHHHHh

if i could just find these muhfuckas some where id be hella happy…

man!