Pizza Hero or Loser?

on May 15, 2012 in On GP (General Purposes)

Dominos latest marketing efforts revolves around an iPad app/game called “Pizza Hero“, heres the commercial.

So… You mean to tell me, that IF you become good enough at this game. Dominos will INVITE you to become a real pizza maker… sorry, “Pizza Chef”. For minimum wage. At one of their hole in the wall, hot ass establishments. They are giving away their pizzas at a discount for this promotion, so there is no way they are gonna pay you a worth while salary to make their pizza. If you are hired on as a pizza chef, then there is a good chance that it would take you about 4 months to even save up for an ipad. You could barely afford the cheapest data plan for your ipad.

Why would you even play this game more than twice?? This whole marketing effort is totally lost on me. AND super hilarious.

What the hell were these people thinking? Ipad owners are potential pizza chefs in the waiting? Im really wondering if anybody has actually done great in this game and then got an offer from dominos and actually took it? I wonder how much they will pay you for your victory and pizza making in  on of their stores. I really need to know. Maybe they were hoping out of work kids and college students will play this game and if they win, they will walk right into a job at least half way knowing what they are doing lol. I dont know. This shit is hilarious… and dumb.

To top this whole matter off. The owner of dominos is taking part in this whole effort! He thought this was a good idea too? lol “Maybe people will want to work in our stores if they get good at the game, thats a GREAT idea!”.

I would have loved to have been apart of these meetings. Im sure there was AT LEAST one person there who thought this was a dumb ass idea but also thought it was fucking hilarious. I want to be friends with that person and  have had shared those SMH eye contact moments while everybody was shooting out ideas to make this idea work. Im sure it was fucking hilarious on a very sad level lmao.

Look at the kitchen they are in. Have you ever been in a dominos that was any where NEAR that big?! LOL NO! You have not! There are 2 walk ways, something like 3 ovens, hella food and pizza making tables, and a register space. Theres never even that many people in a dominos kitchen! Everything would catch fire in the first 8 minutes!

This is fucking hilarious! I know commercials are only truthyness of the truth. But these people REALLY took it too far with the app and silly ass offer to go with it. Thats crossing the damn line lol.

How do the current Dominos employees feel about this new pizza making app? Are the delivery boys playing this shit on their breaks? Hoping to get in the kitchen to that nice comfy position in that hot ass kitchen with all those ovens lol.
How do the current pizza chefs feel about this app? Do they use it for practice? Or are the long time Dominos pizza chefs appauled that their jobs, the way they feed their families, has been made into a game. And if you win said game, you can come possibly take their job! Which is fucked up! … these people surely cant afford ipads to even practice on! Foul!

I guess this does save money on training time though. If they hire on one of these proud pizza heros, im sure they will be able to walk straight in (after they get their food handlers licence) and have their superior point; there go the meat, veggies and cheese. You know how this is done. Get to work… hero.

lmao… THIS IS DUMB!!! AS FUCK!! A MINIMUM WAGE JOB, FOR MAKING PIZZA THATS NOT WORTH HALF OF ITS PRICE, IS NOT A REWARD FOR A WINNING A SIMPLE VIDEO GAME!!!! Its the real life reward of playing video games all day. lol.

What I’d really like to see is, some pissed off mom hand her ipad to her lazy teenage son with the game launched talking about: Here, play this and go get your ass a job! lmaoooo

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I Run The Military and Im in Your Hood!

on May 2, 2012 in Guttie Shit, Perspective

I love all these uber ignorant Barack Obama parody videos. I dont care whos offended. This shit is AWESOME. I cant help it.

The super funny part to me is, the President does get his thug on. For instance: Yesterday, was the Death Anniversary of Bin Laden, out of no where, Obama shows up in Afghanistan! Addressed the U.S. people FROM Afghanistan. He couldve done that from the White House. But he didnt. He went over there to say what he had to say. It wasnt a photo op with troops. He jumped on TV saying that he was still going after anybody who wasnt on the same page as america for the most part. But he said it IN AL QUEDAS HOOD! lmao. Emerged from between some Hummers like WE OUT HERE!! Its extra real!
A year ago on that day, he didnt give a fuck about Pakistan and their sovereignty or anything else. He had troops over there regardless of what. Fuck you, Pakies… be mad. I said I would. I did.
Thats gangster shit all day long.

How many of you reading this would have flew over to Afghanistan to remind Al Queda and the Taliban that its still real? Thats their hood! Thats where they kick it, post, enforce their ways and laws on people. The same place they let off suicide bombs and rockets. Would you take your ass over there and tell those SAME people that its still real? Youre still on their head and fully intend on killing all of them (in so many words). Of course you wouldnt lol.

Because youre not a gotdamn Gangster like the President and the United States, clearly is. Thats what pure disrespect is all about. Thats the brand of disrespect I LOVE. Its great.

This is just like 2 rival gangs getting into a bloody war. Then the leader of gang A is killed. Then on a year to the day; the opposing gang B leader, comes to their hood and tells everybody in gang A that its still on and we aint gonna stop untill all of you either give up or are dead. And crip walking off stage. That just happen in real life! God Bless America and its gangster ways. Cant help but respect it.

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Direct TV Just Lost My Business Forever!

on March 22, 2012 in commercial reviews, Guttie Shit

In this commercial, Direct TV would have you believe that being up for anything is a bad idea. Well I have news for you direct tv, Im usually up for anything. Further more and more importantly, I would LOVE to reenact scenes from Platoon with the Warlock himself!!! What the fuck is wrong with you Direct TV?!?! This sounds like an awesome idea!!! How does this not sound like a good ass time to me!! What am I missing here?! Is Charlie Sheen using live ammo or something? What? This sounds super fun to me. So fuck Direct TV. Im cool. Id rather keep Cable, record which ever show while Im out jumping over Charlie Sheens furniture with a M-16 or some wild shit like that LOL!

Direct TV’s selling point was something about record multiple shows. My cable DVR records two shows at once. Honestly, this is RARELY an inconvenience lol. Realistically, being able to record a bunch of shows at the same time is a selling point for you, youre probably fat. OR hella lazy, or no gotdamn fun lol. Thats a lot of gotdamn TV watching for that to be a solid selling point for you. If youre watching that much TV, you need an outdoors hobby. LOL get out and play or something. Gotdamn

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Dogg Pound Gangsta Crips

on March 20, 2012 in Song of the Moment

This right here is an LA/Long Beach Classic! If youre not local, youve probably never heard this song before. This is my shit. Back in the day, everybody thought @SnoopDogg was daying “Dogg Pound Gangsta Crips” on the hook. This song used to come on the radio mind you. So every Crip used to get hype when this shit came on. Its the guts to witness. What Snoop is really saying is “Rips” or “Clique” … some shit like that. Rips might as well be Crips. No matter what he said, Im POSITIVE he wanted to make it sound like Crips. Ol gang bangin ass niggas. lol That shit will never die.

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Fuck You, Space Bags!! – 90 Seconds With OJ: EP4

on March 19, 2012 in Video Blog

Fuck You Space Bags! Word to 21 Jump Street, which i saw this weekend. It was funny as fuck! I promise.

Anyway, during the 4th Quarter of the Lakers Vs Utah game (Lakers Lost… bullshit) I decided to share my frustration about the punk ass space bags that dispensaries put their weed in. I hate them shits.

Mean while, this is darkest gotdamn video lol. shit. I need some better lighting in my office lol.

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